ANDY'S PLACE...

Before 2010 gets here, I'd better wrap up Christmas junk.

2009-12-30T13:10:00.001-06:00

Christmas presents...

I am one of those people (probably like most of you) that don't need squat!

I have got one of everything I need, and two of everything I don't. So, at Christmas, I always tell the kids, and The Mrs. not to get me anything. They normally oblige. But, this Christmas, I got two gifts that have really put a grin on my ugly old face. There is a story behind each, and I will try to be brief (which will take true effort on my part) in sharing them.

I love my little future daughter-in-law. She can not know (yet) just how happy it makes a parent for their children to find as "the love of their life" a doer, not a sitter...a worker, not a sloth...a giver, not a taker...etc. And, I believe that we have become "friends." She is far wiser than, and her maturity certainly eclipses, her 21 years. If you can't tell...we like her.

I hope she feels the same way.

In these last many months while Phil was away joining up with the Army, and learning to be a Medic, she and I have had many discussions about ME! I like to talk about me. And, the thrust of many of these discussions have been about the FACT that I truly struggle (and have always struggled) with keeping my mouth shut when it comes to "instructing" my sons...and really everybody else for that matter. It is very difficult for me not to jump in...give my opinion about their decisions...give unasked for advice, etc.

You see, I understand that my kids need to "make their own mistakes." And, that's fine. But, the "father" in me doesn't want them to make "my mistakes."

I have made a commitment to The Mrs., and have shared it with future daughter-in-law to just bite my tongue, offer support, and basically speak when spoken to...answer only when asked. So, she knows much of my history with the boys now, and she gave me a gift that when I opened it on Christmas morning made me truly laugh out loud.

She gave me a book (she's an English major in college, btw).

I started reading it a couple of nights ago, and have worked my way through the "B's." I highly recommend it (even though I already knew all that stuff...nyuk).

The second gift that has really made me smile came from The Mrs. For many years, we lived in an area where there was no television signal. Oh...you could catch the CBS affiliate 200 miles away when the weather was good, but for the most part, all of our television viewing was on VHS tapes. Our boys memorized John Wayne movies, Jimmy Stewart films, etc. But one of our favorite VHS tape films had vanished somewhere in the moves over the years.

On Christmas morning, I opened up a DVD of what I believe to be one of the funniest, corniest (I mean...strip the silk corny) films ever made, "No Time For Sergeants," starring Andy Griffith. Man, we broke that rascal out on Christmas night, and just hee-hawed! Each time I watch it, I will imagine the three oldest boys gathered around, eating popcorn, laughing, quoting lines ahead of the tape...

Good times...good memories...

There are dozens of clips from it on The YouTube, so it's hard to pick just one. Check 'em out for yourself. Or better yet, rent the sucker or buy one on the computer. You'll want to thank me. But don't bother...

2009 was...

2009-12-30T06:53:00.004-06:00

Um...LONG!

At 50 years of age, I have discovered that the old folks were right when they said that time passes much more quickly as you get older. (I know exactly why that phenomenon occurs, but I won't take time to share it with you right now.)

But, at least in my world...this year seemed to be one of the longest I have lived in a good while. Not sure why. I imagine it is due to my discontent with our government (at almost every level), and the Bozos that wake up every morning figuring out new and creative ways to screw us to a pole.

You might be asking yourself what Insect Festival 2009 has to do with this post. Absolutely nothing. I just bet you didn't know they had one of their own, so I posted it to prove it to ya'. Learned something today, didn't ya'? Don't bother to thank me.

A good chuckle came my way this morning when I read Dave Barry's year in review: 2009

While I don't share Barry's opinion that the demise of newspapers is a bad thing, I found the piece very entertaining. I hope you will, too.

It was a year of Hope -- at first in the sense of ``I feel hopeful!'' and later in the sense of ``I hope this year ends soon!''

It was also a year of Change, especially in Washington, where the tired old hacks of yesteryear finally yielded the reins of power to a group of fresh, young, idealistic, new-idea outsiders such as Nancy Pelosi. As a result Washington, rejecting ``business as usual,'' finally stopped trying to solve every problem by throwing billions of taxpayer dollars at it and instead started trying to solve every problem by throwing trillions of taxpayer dollars at it.

(Go read the whole thing. You'll want to thank me...but don't bother.)

Dog House...wrapping up old bidniss...

2009-12-29T16:33:00.007-06:00

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

I had told y'all that #3 son got himself a one year-old Golden Retriever from the pound for Christmas.

Jake, the Wonder Dog! (that's him on the lower right)

Jake is a funny dog. Two days ago, a whole bunch of young adults were here and decided to play on Paul's new trampoline. Jake was over in our back yard. That hound jumped up on the perimeter of the trampoline, and circled the whole deal until he found the door in the netting, and made his way into all the fun. Man, did those kids have a time!

I had also told y'all that Phil was working on a really cool house for Jake. Well, he got it finished yesterday. Now, Phil has never built a dog house before (but it's quite likely that he will spend a night or two in one in the future...if you know what I mean...). So, I think he did a danged good job.

Cool dog house, with a porch & everything...

Now, Phil and I have both built stuff before, but we have never roofed. My wetback neighbor across the street (who is a great neighbor, and a fabulous roofer) gave us the shingles, and tar paper to finish off the top. I think we did pretty danged good, even if I do say so myself!

Yesterday morning, Phil, me, and my Daddy moved Jake's new quarters to Phil's back yard. I do not know exactly how much the dog house weighs. But, I can tell you this for sure...

The roof might leak, but it will take an F-4 tornado (or better) to move the sucker one inch...

Senator Foster Brooks Roasts Health Care Reform...(Updated...Foster Brooks responds)

2009-12-29T14:55:00.000-06:00

Update: Senator (cough cough) Max Baucus' office has responded to allegations that he was three sheets to the wind while roasting the health care deform bill.

According to Emily's Post on Politics Daily, Maxieeeeee's ofix ishued this state ment:

"When his friend of 30 years Ted Kennedy, with whom he had fought so hard to provide health care to children, was being used as a cheap foil to oppose health care reform, Senator Baucus gave a passionate defense. Unfortunately, those who want to kill any meaningful reform, turned it into an unfounded, untrue personal smear internet rumor. This is beyond the pale and this type of gutter politics has no place in the public sphere. It is this type of slander that makes Montanans, and Americans, disgusted with the politics as usual in Washington. And what is even more sad is that such a personal attack would be given any validity at all, let alone being elevated to the status of "news".

See, I told y'all Max was taking up the mantle of Uncle Teddy. (End of update)

Just in case you missed it, Senator Max Baucus (Dimwit - North Dakota) hit the egg nog a little early.

After all, this was Uncle Teddy's pet issue. I reckon somebody has to take up his mantle, now that he's in a warmer place.

Heh!

2009-12-28T10:35:00.000-06:00

The only game in town...(Updated...I found that picture of General Bradley)

2009-12-28T08:45:00.000-06:00

General Omar N. Bradley receiving the first Independence Bowl "Spirit of Independence" Award. The award was renamed in his honor after his death. (other winners...an impressive list)

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Shreveport will be in the college football spotlight, as we host the only bowl game in College football today. This will be the 34th edition of the Independence Bowl, to be played at Independence Stadium in Shreveport, LA.

I was working as a photographer for the Louisiana Tech student newspaper in 1977, and shot a fabulous picture of General Omar Bradley at the 2nd annual I-Bowl. That year, the Bowl Committee initiated an annual award, naming it "The Omar N. Bradley Spirit of Independence Award." It is always a very patriotic ceremony, and quite uplifting. In the past, men such as John Wayne, and President Reagan have received the award in Shreveport.

(I know I have a copy of it, and if I can find that picture today, I'll put it up on the computer later. He was quite frail, and in a wheel chair. But, it was cool for an 18-year-old to be that close to a legendary hero like the General).

This year, the award is being presented to The National Football Foundation. I'm sure their work is worthy of the award.

Over the years, the bowl has had it's ups and downs. Truthfully, last year I predicted the demise of the game after all we could draw was Louisiana Tech v. Northern Illinois. But, I give big old tip of the ball caps to the Bowl Committee. They were able to find a good sponsor in the AdvoCare company...and drew two teams for an SEC v. Big 12 matchup.

The game is a sell-out, which is good for the area, and for TV.

The game today features Georgia v. Texas A & M. It ought to be a good one, and worth looking at. Kickoff is set for 5 pm Eastern on ESPN II.

I'm going with the Bulldogs. The Aggies losses have been huge for the most part, but they played well against Texas, so they might be peaking. We'll see. Regardless, y'all enjoy the game. I know I will.

I hope that boy remembered his sweater...

2009-12-28T07:16:00.004-06:00

Well, eldest son, and his wife took off yesterday for Omaha, NE. They made it to her Grandma's house in Ravia, OK about 7 pm, and will head on out either today, or tomorrow for their new station.

I think the roads should be clear by now, but DANG! Y'all ain't in Monterey anymore, younguns!

Check out Thursday and Friday...

(click on it)

I'm gonna quit bitchin' about being cold. Probably. Maybe. Probably not...

Is Urban Meyer...

2009-12-27T17:10:00.001-06:00

...the new Brett Favre?

Or, maybe Roger Clemens?

Just askin'...

Link stolen without permission from Basil.

Wouldn't a warm, sunny beach be nice about now?

2009-12-27T07:07:00.006-06:00

Walt has been reading this pitiful little blog since Day 1, and is a valued relative, friend, and contributor.

Over these many years, he has heard me say (or read me type) probably no less than 4 million times that I. HATE. COLD. WEATHER!

He knows how much I love the sunshine, the beach, and all things 80 & above.

So, in an almost cruel act, he sent me a photo that really made me pine for el calor del sol.

I love him, and he knows I do, but sometimes Walt can be awfully cruel...

Sunday Morning Junk.

2009-12-27T05:41:00.001-06:00

Hi y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Number One son, and his wife are still visiting, but leaving today for Omaha, Nebraska for Dean to start his job at Offutt. I hear that it's just lovely. Especially right now.

Just throwing some pictures out from yesterday, mostly for me.

Sons 1 & 3, and their ladies

And, lookie here what #3 son got himself for Christmas...

Jake!

Jake is an almost one year old Golden Retriever that Phil adopted from the pound. It's been too cold to leave Jake outside at night, so he spent two nights with Sadie. I know they ain't married or nothing, but they're both fixed, so I'm pretty sure it's not a sin. They're getting along real good, too.

Phil has been working on a really cool dog house that should be finished today. I'll show y'all when he gets finished.

I had told y'all about my trampoline troubles. Well, problems no more! With the help of these two gentlemen, we got her all put together in about an hour and a half. Not bad.

Mechanical Geniuses!

See, it works!

That's #4 son. I think he likes it. He wore himself out on it yesterday, and hit the sack about 7 last night. I think The Mrs. had her a danged good idear... I haven't had my turn on it yet, but that's coming this afternoon, after it clears out around here (and warms up a bit).

Kids! Hogging all the fun...

Well, y'all have a good day.

Oh hey! Just in case you missed it over at Patrick Conlon's blog...this is an amazing story.

Okay...now, I'm finished.

Urban Meyer resigns...

2009-12-27T04:47:00.001-06:00

I hear that Bobby Bowden's available.

How'd they do this?

2009-12-26T07:24:00.002-06:00

Stay with this one...

It just goes to show how easy it will be to manipulate history if the truly sinister lay hold of complete power...

Nyuk!

2009-12-26T07:02:00.003-06:00

My brother-in-law is an ex-Big Biz executive from Dallas, that has moved back to, and is reclaiming the old family farm near Ozark, Arkansas. Rural life is, of course, much different from the Big Town.

He was here for Christmas yesterday, and told me that he was at the Co-Op, and ran into a couple of guys he knows. One is about 30, & the other about 20. They were talking, and some guy walked past wearing some funky-looking shoes that they all noticed.

After the fellow was out of ear-shot, my brother-in-law said, "You don't see too many metrosexuals around Ozark."

The other fellows didn't respond for a while. But, then the 20 year old asked, "Ken, does that mean he's got boy parts, and girl parts, too?" Brother-in-law kept a straight face, and figured it was useless to try to explain "metrosexual." So, he replied, "Well Louis, if he did have both kind of parts, which kind would you like to see?"

Big-eyed, Louis said, "Ken...I think I'd like to see them girl ones."

Tramp troubles...

2009-12-26T05:52:00.002-06:00

No, not a "tramp" like a hobo.

The Mrs. decided to buy a trampoline for our youngest son as a Christmas gift. He seemed pretty pleased with the choice when he opened it yesterday morning. But, he's a little under the weather, so he wasn't just spoiling to get it put together. Plus, we were due at The Mrs. In-law's for Christmas lunch/gift junk about noon, so we decided not to mess with it yesterday.

We got back home yesterday about an hour before dark, and I was kinda bored so I figured I'd break it open and see what I was in for. Well, lo and behold, it comes with an instructional DVD that accompanies the assembly instructions, so I popped it in the player. The first five minutes of the DVD are about "safety" precautions as you assemble your trampoline, and the tools you will need.

I should have known I was in trouble when I see and read in the book that all the tools that are required are a Phillips screwdriver, and an 8/16" socket wrench. Now, I am quite sure that I have EVERY imaginable socket (standard & metric, shallow & deep). But I truly doubt that I have an 8/16" socket. However, the instructions say that you can use an adjustable wrench instead. Good.

It also seems that as a safety precaution, one should wear a welding mask, kevlar vest, and steel-toed boots while assembling the trampoline. Cool...got all that!

So, I watched as a woman assembled the frame for the tramp in about 2 minutes. It was almost dark, but I decided to go ahead on and at least get the frame together. And sure enough, it only took me about 15 minutes to identify all the pieces, lay them out, screw them & snap them together.

Only one problem. That frame is so rickety, I would not bounce a 3 pound cat on it. I saw the problem actually while I was putting it together. There is a manufacturing/design flaw that will require some minor modification, which I did not feel like tackling last night. I'm going to need some of those good self-drilling 5/16" head screws & with minor effort, it will be fine. Of course, nothing is open on Christmas (as it should be).

My local True Value store will open at 8, and I should be in business by 8:30. Hey, I just thought about it...since I've got to go to the hardware store anyway, I'll check and see if they have an 8/16" socket. I'll bet they do.

I'll show y'all a picture of this when I get it all finished up. Have a great day, everybody!

"Home" for Christmas...

2009-12-25T06:00:00.000-06:00

I will wish you each and every one a Merry Christmas on this day. I started to write a post for Christmas, and decided to look back at what I had written last Christmas.

I think I said it pretty well last year. A couple of facts are different this Dec. 25. Three of my sons, and one daughter-in-law, and a daughter-in-law to be are here this year. The young man that lives with us (he's been here 3 years now) has gone to Virginia for Christmas to be with friends. But that's about all that is different.

I still feel the same way about being "home" for Christmas.

Y'all have a blessed one. I love you each and every one...even Mr. Anonymous that calls me ugly names, and the chink that leaves spam about viagra. I mean it.

Christmas Week...Don't sound like a bad idear at all!

2009-12-24T18:01:00.003-06:00

"Let's be naughty...and save Santa the trip!"

- Gary Allan

So, just how bad IS the Pac-10?

2009-12-24T07:57:00.003-06:00

I have been trying to actually put thoughts to words about the last two nights of college football. But, I am truly stumped.

The morons at ESPN are so stupid that it must take them two hours to watch Sixty Minutes. They probably think a Quarterback is a refund. I read an article on their site discussing BYU & Utah's thumping of Oregon State, and Cal (which I will not link to). I would bet that this bozo watches The Three Stooges, just to take notes.

Let me give you a quote: The Pac-10, thought by many to be the nation's best conference -- top-to-bottom -- this season, certainly hasn't looked the part while starting the bowl season 0-2.

Please! Is there anyone with half of a brain that thought the Pac-10 was worth a bucket of warm spit this season...or maybe even the last decade...or two?

As the bowl season unfolds, we will likely find out just how BAD the Pac-10 is, and this moron at ESPN's "surprise" at their weakness may finally match up with what the rest of the thinking world already knows.

Moron...

Christmas Week...Serious business!

2009-12-24T07:05:00.003-06:00

"If you kids don't shut up and go to sleep, I'm taking back EVERY present under that damn tree!"

- Your Momma

Hero goes to Heaven...

2009-12-24T06:58:00.003-06:00

Col. Robert L. Howard

Col. Robert L. Howard, considered to be the most decorated US soldier has died in Waco, TX. after losing a battle with pancreatic cancer. He was 70.

Go read about this man.

Christmas Week...HO! HO! HO!

2009-12-23T14:55:00.003-06:00

Well, C. Everett Koop would say "NO! NO! NO!"

"I'm sending Chesterfields to all my friends..."

- Ronald Wilson Reagan

Heh! At least there is no unpleasant after-taste.

Christmas Week...Don't blow your bonus!

2009-12-23T11:26:00.002-06:00

"What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."

- Phyllis Diller

Straight No Chaser...

2009-12-23T09:43:00.001-06:00

It's that time of the year again. No matter how often I see this, I always get a kick out of it.

"Glydo" is cool.

2009-12-23T07:30:00.003-06:00

My friend ~~Two Dogs~~ the Mean ol' Meany, Paul Mitchell turned me on to Glydo. He said it was awesome. It is a Firefox plug-in that grabs web content related to what you're reading (related stories, videos, tweets, etc.), and displays links to them on demand.

I installed it this morning, and so far, I concur! It's cool...

Christmas Week...Don't Start Too Early!

2009-12-23T06:57:00.002-06:00

"Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven."

- W. C. Fields

Christmas Week...Wednesday junk

2009-12-23T06:30:00.003-06:00

Once upon a time (way, way back...but not really...) there was this guy named Andy. And, he decided to make an offer to everyone who has access to the world-wide computer.

It went like this:

Okay, I will give anybody an airplane ticket (round trip), a two night's stay at the 'Horseshoe Casino and Hotel' in Bossier City, a limo ride to my house (and anywhere else you'd like to go beforehand), and THREE WHOLE DOLLARS (American) if you will just show up here and blow my brains out.

I'll provide the .45 to accomplish it. It is registered to me, so it can't be traced back to you. You can just jump back in the limo...head back to the SHV Airport, and wing your way back home. You will get back home for Christmas before my lifeless (happy) body is reported to the Po-leese.

Trust me, you will! Trust me.

You can even take a roll of The Mrs. world famous cheese log, seeing as they'll have some extra with me dead.

I had showed y'all my Angel Trumpet...but now it looks like this.

Have I mentioned before that I hate cold weather?

I started to prune the ugly thing at the ground, but The Mrs. was like "NO...NO...NO...it didn't come back out tall and pretty this year, because you cut it down way too early last winter. You've got to let all the sap run back into the ground before you cut it. Moron!" So, I'll have to keep looking at that ugly thing for a while.

Now, this is cool! Talk about a Christmas block party! A group of neighbors in Murietta, California decided to put on a Christmas light presentation. I'm thinking that at least one of those neighbors on Bainbridge Circle has some expertise in this kind of junk.

My #3 son's future mother-in-law is coming in today from Tennessee to spend Christmas with her daughter (and us). I like her a lot. She and The Mrs. get along well. I think #3 son is a little nervous, because it's been several years since he's seen her, and he was just in ~~Junior High~~ Middle School. But, it will be fine. She loves her daughter, and if her daughter loves Phil, so will Mom.

Well, y'all have a good Wednesday! I love y'all! I really do.