ANDY'S PLACE...

Light Bulbs (moments)...

2012-01-27T18:43:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all! I've been off the grid trying to get caught up on my business, and Daddy's, too.

And, I've been fighting comprutuh wars trying hard to get this new 'chine up and running with all the software necessary to get caught up on business. A bunch of my old disks don't load on to Windows 7...so I'm adjusting, adapting, and (slowly) overcoming.

Gonna take a while. But, I already KNOW it's gonna be worth it.

This thing is bitchin'!

Light Bulb Moment #1: I went to The WalMart this morning to make a few comprutuh related purchases (and get some cat food for #4 son's cats), and happened by a display of incandescent light bulbs. The WalMart is selling 4-packs of incandescent bulbs for $1.59 (GE Soft Whites). So, I bought 10 4-packs for $15.90 (plus tax).

That would bring me up to possessing (roughly) 2,018 incandescent light bulbs. Listen...I've been stocking up for years, and I've been telling y'all for ages now that you need to be stocking up, since they may not be available in the near future. (I plan to sell them on the black market one day).

Now, regular visitors will remember that one of my PREDICTIONS for 2012 is that the ban on the manufacture of incandescent bulbs will be repealed, due to public outcry. But just in case it is NOT, and I am wrong (again), y'all need to go get you enough to last until you croak.

Light Bulb Moment #2: Well, this really isn't a light bulb moment. But, while I was searching this pitiful Titanic of a blog for a picture I had once posted (that I wanted to set as my desktop background...and which I eventually found), I came across an old post I wrote in December of 2008.

Man...I had forgotten about that conversation!

Weblogs can be very valuable...especially if you're an aging man with a failing memory.

I'm iz somewhat comfruzed.

2012-01-26T17:31:00.000-06:00

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Okay, so I tore into the cardboard, and styrofoam, and destructions for my new HP comprutuh this afternoon.

A few observations:

1) Computers run real fast now compared to the old junk I've been using.

2) This is going to be JUST AS BIG A TASK AS I FIGURED IT WOULD BE!

c) I'm somewhat confrused.

Good of it is that it seems everything is working properly (Maybe). Fired 'er up, installed AVG & Firefox first thing. Then, accessed my Carbonite account...file restoration is in progress (I know cause they sent me an e-mail saying it is. They're good).

Now I plan to install the programs I gots disks for, and then go on up and download the programs I need that I don't have solid in my hands.

I'm pretty sure this is gonna be a long night.

Crud.

I am SURE hoping that Carbonite restores my Firefox bookmarks. If I have to start over with that, Imma puke. I think it will, because I think it did last time.

Well...there be mucho to do, and time short iz.

I'll let y'all know how it comes out.

Dang...this comprutuh is fast. But, I've already had to look around to see WHY all I had was a big ol' HP screen with fishy bubbles on it, when I was expecting the desktop (btw, HP, quit loading all that crap on the startup desktop, would ya'?)

BTW, I am pounding this post out on my Toshiba Netbook. I know how to use her.

Y'all have a good evening, and I'll see y'all tomorrow.

Maybe.

It used to be lots of fun to get a new comprutuh...

2012-01-25T15:19:00.000-06:00

My youngest Great Nephew!

2012-01-23T15:47:00.001-06:00

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I have showed y'all pictures of Tucker.

But, this one ain't him.

Nope!

This 'un is a Texan!

My nephew and his wife gave him kind of a pansy name.

Oliver. (But, that's just his front name).

They kinda' redeemed themselves by calling his middle name "Grant," after The Mrs.' Uncle Grant, who was one tough Okie cattle rancher.

Ain't that the cutest thing you've seen lately?

Hey...when you "got nuthin'," resort to kid pictures. That's what I always say.

GOOD MONDAY MORNING!!!

2012-01-23T05:16:00.000-06:00

A look back at my arrival on the planet Earth.

2012-01-21T17:12:00.004-06:00

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I started to scan a baby picture of myself and post it. But, I decided not to.

I could do it. I have a scanner. Or, I could just scan any of the baby pictures of my 4 sons and post that.

Carbon copies of Yours Truly at birth.

Bless their hearts.

But naw, I was goofing around on The Facebook, and there was this deal about "The #1 Song When You Were Born." I looked at it, and you have to take one of their special offers in order to find out what the #1 song was on the day you were born.

Pfffffffft!

But, I was curious. So, I did me a quick The Gooble Search©, and found The Billboard Hot 100 #1 tunes for 1959 on Wickedpedia.

There's some good ones in there, too. I love "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes," and "Stagger Lee." I really like "Stagger Lee." Always have.

It got me to thinking about how maybe we get "marked" as little babies by the sounds we hear.

I fast-forwarded down the page to the actual date of my birth (September 5, 1959), and find that "The Three Bells," by Jim Ed, and The Browns was #1 when Mom was pooping me out.

← Click on it.

I've always loved that song. But even more so the #1 song that came behind it. Santo & Johnny's "Sleepwalk" is quite possibly my favorite instrumental of all time. I got to thinking that there is a great likelihood that Mom took me home from the horsesplittle, and played the radio all day. In fact, I'm sure she did.

I remember as a little kid that the pop radio station (KEEL 710) played all day. When Daddy got home from work (or a couple of minutes before), she'd switch it over to KWKH 1130 (Daddy was a country fan).

Anyway, I'm pretty sure these songs got seared into my brain in the infantile stage...and I doubt that I will ever forget one word, or one chord.

Hmmmm...never really much thought about it before. Now it all makes sense.

Anyway, a couple of YouTube videos. Y'all might not want to look at them, but I'm posting them so I can find them easier in the future.

Y'all have a good evening!

And just for some further enjoyment...

Dr. Les Paul...

Just pulled the trigger on a new 'chine!

2012-01-21T14:35:00.000-06:00

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HP

Intel Inside (i5)

8 GB ram

1.5 TB hard drive

Thanks for all the advisements, y'all! Special thanks to Dadman (the Intel expert), who talked me up in processing. I'm sure I will be glad he did.

I was actually hoping he would, and I got the advice I wanted to hear.

It is due in town on Thursday.

Sure hope this old gal I'm pounding on can hold out until then...

Need a bit of advice...

2012-01-20T13:37:00.000-06:00

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Well, my cheapo e-Machine bargain basement computer (the gal has got some years, and MUCH use under her belt) has just about crapped out.

The only reason I bought her at $299 (with a nice 20" monitor) from The WalMart is because the horrid experiment gone wrong, known as Vista, was what the box sellers were loading...and she was the only one I could find handily (was badly in need, as my Compaq had crapped out...leaving me unable to take care of mine, and Daddy's business) that came equipped with XP. All our business junk was set up on XP, and I was NOT in the mood to take my chances, or lose any more hair over a stupid piece of electronic junk.

She has done a fine job these years, but it has become evident that she's showing her age, and cheapness. So, Andy is shopping around for a new comprutuh. My boys have already given me the details about what processor, ram, hard drive specs that I MUST HAVE. And, I'm pleasantly surprised that my Works 8 database & Office 2003 will (mostly) work with Windows 7.

Pleasantly surprised.

Just one hiccup with my necessary programs from what I understand...but there is an Open Office deal that I can switch to which should work just fine. So, I'm getting a new something. Don't know what just yet, but I'll run it past the experts before I hit the "buy now" button anywhere.

The question I have for y'all is this. Now, my current 20" monitor is just fine. There's not a dang thing in the world wrong with it. But, what's the fun of buying a fancy new comprutuh without a new monitor?

NO FUN, I tell ya'! So, while I'm sinking bucks in a box, I'm getting a new screen too, because, because...well, just because. What I'm wondering is what y'all think about me getting a TV instead of a regular monitor. From what I'm finding, a very nice 26" TV with HD & HDMI plug-in junk is roughly similar in price to a monitor. I was thinking that if I was gonna spend the money for a monitor, I may as well go ahead on and get a TV instead that would allow me to look at programs if I wanted to (like switch back and forth between the 'net, and college football games).

Heck, the cable is right here at the desk hooked up to the cable modem, so that's no problem.

What I'm wondering is if any of y'all know of a problem doing that. I mean...is the quality of the comprutuh image degraded in any way? Will the video output of my computer match up with the screen size of a TV? Will I be disappointed if I go that route, or will it be okay?

I figure some of y'all probably use a TV for a monitor, and just hope for a little input.

Y'all don't have to advise me publicly if you don't want to. You can write your techno-retarded buddy at justandysplace@gmail.com if you'd rather. I really would like to know if you've got pros, or cons on this.

BTW, if you've got recommendations on new hardware, I'm all ears on that, too.

Thank y'all!

From an ex-Louisianian buddy of mine who now lives in Mobile, AL.

2012-01-19T16:20:00.000-06:00

Dear friends,

If you wore your LSU shirts on Monday, and your Saints shirts on Saturday, PLEASE wear your Obama shirts on election day.

Today my employer paid me to hep out Mom & Dad!

2012-01-19T16:06:00.000-06:00

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I think I mentioned in a previous post about how just amazing it is to a guy that has always worked for himself to actually get paid by an employer to not show up for work.

Yep! That is one of the perks of actually working for "the man."

The good folks that write my paycheck provide many "holidays," and it is incumbent upon me to take them. So, after taking two of them last week, and having FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT OFF FROM WORK, I took my "New Years Day" holiday today. (Which will give me three days straight off this week. I swear, it's gonna make me soft. I just know it will).

Anyway, I left the house this morning NOT heading to my place of employment. Nope! I headed up north of Shreveport to Mom & Dad's house along with my fantastic Brother-in-Law (Big Sis' husband) to install an under-counter dishwasher for Mom & Dad. It's a looooooooooong story, but the old kitchen in their house on Caddo Lake had always had a portable dishwasher that was hooked up to the old Washing Machine connection (folks used to have the Washing Machine in the kitchen if they could afford one).

The old portable crapped out long ago, and Mom & Dad have been hand-washing dishes for a good long while. Mom decided that she wanted to build in a dishwasher instead. So...Mom & Dad have been waiting around a looooooooooooong time for their son and Son-in-Law to get around to installing the dishwasher they bought way back.

Well...today was that day. I had scheduled my "holiday" for today...so BIL and I cut out the cabinet, ran a hot water supply, re-fixed the drainage, and tapped in to electricity to operate their new machine.

Only took 5 1/2 hours, and ONE (count it...ONE) trip to the small town hardware store about 12 miles north of Mom & Dad's place. I swear...I was really impressed with the small town hardware store. It is run by a young guy (probably in his 30s). It was his Dad's store (and probably his Papaw's, too...but I didn't ask).

I told the cat what we were trying to accomplish. I had done one really good thing before heading up there...I took a picture with my iPhone of the set-up under the sink. The young man that runs the store started asking me what size drain I had, and I said, "Hey! I took a pitcher!" I pulled out my iPhone, accessed the photo and handed it to him.

The guy got a dookie-eatin' grin on his face as he took my iPhone...spread the picture with his fingers...pulled everything off the shelf we would need...enlarged the picture further, and showed me exactly where I'd need to cut in to the drain to install the tailpiece...and said, "I just love this. If everybody would bring me an iPhone picture of their problem, my life would be so much easier."

Then Dad told the guy that he wanted to buy a water shut-off key, too, seeing as he didn't have one handy, and we might need to cut the water off to the whole house (plus, EVERYBODY needs one of those around justin case). The guy disappeared in to the back, brought one out...rang the whole deal up...

$36.

Really.

$36.

I sure hope that guy can stay in business. The folks of North Caddo Parish need a good guy like that around. Trust me...they do.

Anyway...mission accomplished.

I'm gonna be real sore tomorrow (when my regular days off start). Been rolling around on the linoleum, and twisted in odd positions, up and down, up and down, etc.

But, it got did.

Mom was happy. Dad was, too.

Life is good.

I got home from my "day job," and the AC condensing unit was running.

2012-01-17T16:36:00.000-06:00

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Forecast for tonight...

Better go put the ferns in the storage house, I reckon.

Again.

Having a little trouble sleeping?

2012-01-17T05:11:00.000-06:00

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That happens to me occasionally And, I have found the solution.

So, you've come to the right place.

This is what I do when I'm a little restless...tossing and turning, knowing I need to sleep well to be fresh as a daisy to face tomorrow.

In fact, it happened to me last night, and I pulled out my trusty, time-proven solution.

And, it worked. Again.

You only need 3 things.

Chocolate syrup, ice cream, and peanut butter!

Yep! Now, any brand of these items will do. I prefer Hershey's syrup, The Kroger brand peanut butter, and The Kroger brand "Cookies & Cream" ice cream...but it's really up to you. It'll work, regardless.

Begin by taking a heaping spoonful of peanut butter, and depositing it in a coffee mug.

Add a generous amount of chocolate syrup.

Pop the peanut butter and chocolate syrup in the microwave oven for 40 seconds (don't scorch it...just heat it up and melt the peanut butter real good).

While your pb/chocsyr is heating, load you up a huge cereal bowl full of The Kroger Cookies & Cream ice cream.

About like this.

Once the microwave cuts off, stir up the peanut butter and chocolate syrup real good (mixing throughly), and pour/spoon it out on your ice cream.

Eat the whole dang thing (like I do), and trust me, you will sleep like a baby. And, I don't mean a baby with colic, or an ear infection. I mean, a good baby that sleeps all night!

This has been a message in the public interest. Don't bother to thank me.

Nyuk (Senior Cell Phone)

2012-01-16T04:57:00.000-06:00

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Nyuk...

I swear, it NEVER ends...

2012-01-15T18:49:00.000-06:00

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As long as Eli Manning is playing a dang football game, it is ALWAYS like this!

But, there is hope...

Maybe it's slowing down.

At this point, I'm more than happy to see some "ding dong dumas festival" searches...and even the one about the skeletal skaggot.

Just sayin'...

I shall be extremely happy when this ball game is over.

And the beat goes on...and on, and on, and on, and on....

2012-01-15T16:55:00.000-06:00

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(Please refer to previous post)

It'll be like this all night.

Sigh...

Hey!!! How'd that get in there???

So, how does Andy know that The New York Giants are playing a playoff game today?

2012-01-15T16:04:00.000-06:00

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Well, The Sitemeter tells me!

(Yeah, please go ahead and click on that The Sitemeter screenshot to look at it big.)

It's the same dang thing, playoff year after playoff year...

I need to pull that ridiculous effort at comedy.

It sucked. But, NFL season after NFL season, The Gooble Search© continues to plague me because of it.

Imma go pull it.

It was a gorgeous day in Northwest Louisiana!

2012-01-14T17:42:00.002-06:00

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The only thing that went wrong was almost everything.

My "mini-vacation" ends tonight. I only got about 66.66% of planned activities checked off "the list."

I wish I was Sadie.

She knows ZERO about websites, and texting, and faxing junk. And, she knows how to make the most of her ignorance.

Good girl!

So, what time is it, boys and girls?

2012-01-14T13:06:00.001-06:00

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Well, if y'all have been hanging out very long at Andy's Place, you may remember that mid-January is "Update Daddy's Website Time!"

Yep!

My Dad accidentally fell into a very solid stream of income many years ago. Actually, it wasn't an accident. It was one of those "light bulb moments" I had...and he, my eldest son, and Yours Truly have put a lot of time and effort into it (mostly Daddy does all the work...and I just secretary/Webmaster).

Regardless, his supplier has an annual price increase (how they continue to do it in a rotten economy with almost zero inflation, I do not know...but, they do). Daddy's website MUST reflect the new pricing structure by Monday a.m. So...

I shall be occupied for a good bit of what's left of my "mini-vacation." It's not hard. It's just tedious.

And, I do not mind ONE BIT!

It was on "the list."

You know the good thing about replacing the connector ends on your battery cables?

2012-01-13T13:41:00.001-06:00

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The "Service Engine Soon" light finally goes off.

For now.

Half way through my "mini vacation"...

2012-01-13T09:43:00.000-06:00

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...and, roughly 20% through my list of junk to get done.

Better pick up the pace, I guess.

Is it my imagination, or are there A LOT more leaves on the ground at Andy's Place this year...and do I have A LOT less energy/concern to do something about it?

Nope! Not my imagination.

Maybe the trees were bigger, and leafier this year.

Maybe my DOGAS is lower this year.

Yep! That's probably it.

There be mucho to do, and time short iz.

These dreams...

2012-01-12T20:06:00.000-06:00

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I guess we all dream.

I rarely remember my dreams.

But, the ones I do usually involve people from my past that are together in places, and in situations that they should not be. You know...a 6th grade girlfriend, visiting with your Great Aunt, at a party hosted by an old friend of yours that lives a thousand miles away, that neither has ever met...

And then, very often Abraham Lincoln will be there, too.

Odd, I know.

But, last night I had two distinct dreams that I remember well.

Let me preface Dream #1: Yesterday, Tucker (our little great nephew that The Mrs. keeps care of several days a week) crapped his diaper 6 times. SIX. Really. And, he's not sick or anything...they were just normal 1 year-old crap diapers...no extra stink or anything that would indicate some internal problem. The boy just eats a lot, and dookies out the extra regularly.

Nothing wrong with that.

Anyway...

Dream #1: My Big Sis (Tucker's Grandmother) calls us in the middle of the night. The Mrs. picks up the phone. (Somehow I can hear what Big Sis is saying to her, even though she's on the other side of the bedroom with the phone.) Big Sis says, "We've taken Tucker to the Emergency Room! The Doctor says he's got an impacted bowel."

I'm laying there thinking, "This can't be right...this must be a dream."

Sure enough it was.

Dream #2: The Mrs. comes to me with some "big news." She says, "Andy, I'm pregnant. I had missed a few cycles, and figured that I was just going through the change. But, I got bigger and bigger, and finally took a test. It was positive."

Have you ever had that dream where you were falling? I mean, endlessly falling, and you wake up right before you hit the ground? Well, Dream #2 ended that way.

After The Mrs. told me she was expecting, I made my way to the top of the Horseshoe Casino Hotel, and threw myself off! But, I woke up before I hit the pavement.

Weird.

A lot of that could have to do with the fact that at about 2300 HRS last night we received a phone call notifying us that Brother-in-Law (The Mrs. brother) had suffered a heart attack, and was in the ICU at a hospital in NW Arkansas.

The Mrs. was restless most of the night...and I guess I was, too.

Better news today. Even though they "lost him" at one point, it seems he'll survive, and has been transported to a medical facility in Little Rock, where he will undergo surgery tomorrow. He's in good spirits, and The Mrs.-in-Law is there with him.

That's all.

AFFIRMATIVE!

2012-01-12T07:06:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

I was over at Dapper Dan's joint, and something sparked a memory. There was a girl I knew back in high school, and if you would ask her a question she intended to answer in the affirmative, she'd say "Can James Brown get down?"

Then Dan mentioned that a friend of his used, "Does a bear crap in the woods?" (I'm sure it was likely more colorful than that, but Dan is classy).

I thought about another guy that used the very un-pc, "Is the Pope a pollock?" quite often. (That one has now run its course, obviously).

I was wondering...

Do y'all have any colorful "affirmatives" you remember from your past (or presently hear)?

If so, I could use some new conversational material.

That's all.

For now.

Andy gets a "Mini-Vacation."

2012-01-11T15:24:00.001-06:00

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Hey y'all!

Well, I am indeed on a "mini-vacation." The good folks that write my paycheck (for my day job) are kind enough to give us employees "holidays." Well...since I worked through the holiday season, I'm taking advantage of those days, and I have found myself with FOUR DAYS STRAIGHT OFF!

And, man...do I ever need the time to get caught up on junk! Personal junk...my own business...Daddy's first of the year price increases which must be updated on his website (as y'all know, I am his link to the virtual world of commerce)...and Andy's Place really looks like crap. I mean...dookie true!

So, I had me some big plans for the first day of my "Mini-Vacation."

Started out by dropping by City Hall, and paying the water bill. Visited with a friend there for a couple of minutes...and that was nice.

The Mrs. needed to go to JC Penneys at the mall to pick up something that only they have. But, we had about 15 minutes to burn before Penneys opened up, so we decided to meander across the highway to The Office Depot to look at printer/scanners. I'm in need of a replacement, due to the fact that my Magenta ink has quit feeding, and new ones are too cheap to try to get an old one fixed.

Well, we looked around, and I found a pretty nifty HP that I'll probably get once my trusty Epson finally craps out (I can live without magenta ink for now). Anyway, it was after 1000 HRS now, and we could head on over to Penneys. Then this:

Starter crapped out on me.

I knew it was going bad...actually been waiting for a few days when I could do without Black Beauty to get it rebuilt. I was thinking back as to how long it has been since the good folks at Martin's Auto Electric rebuilt that starter...

Well, thankee very much, Blogger!!!...I found it. Almost four years ago.

That ain't bad.

Anyway, I'm sitting there on the parking lot trying to figure out what to do. The Mrs. decided to just walk on across the highway and do her shopping (she did not wear good "walking shoes," but that is another story). I figured if I just let the Starter cool off, it would crank again. After about an hour (car still not starting), I decided to walk on over to the mall and meander around with her. It was pretty okay. Not great, but pretty okay.

At roughly Noon, we hoofed it back to the car, and still...DEAD. Right then is when I came to really appreciate my phancy new iPhone. I remembered that I had a "Gooble App." I flipped that app on...hit the little button that looks like a microphone, and spoke into The iPhone, "Towing, 71112."

I swear, that iPhone threw up a long list of towing companies near the 71112 zip code. I scrolled down through them and found one not far from Andy's Place (and Martin's Auto Electric). There was a little button next to that Towing Company's name with a phone number. I hit that little button, and the dang iPhone started dialing it.

These are wonderful times in which we live. Truly amazing!

I made arrangements to be towed, and the nice young lady said they'd be there "pretty soon." So, me and The Mrs. are sitting there in the Sable, and I think, "Let me try this ONE MORE TIME."

Viola!

Start she did...so, I hit the "recent calls" button on my iPhone, spoke to the very nice young lady and cancelled the tow, then we drove the car to Martin's under our own power.

Life is good.

Half a "mini-vacation" day burned...

Life is good.

I'll let y'all know how the rest of this "vacation" comes down.

A Coworker stops me today and asks...

2012-01-10T15:38:00.002-06:00

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Coworker: Hey Andy, did you hear that the whole LSU Tiger football team is still locked up in their hotel rooms?

Me: No! What...Les doesn't want 'em talking to the press?

Coworker: No, somebody painted a 50 yard-line down the hallway, and nobody can figure out how to cross it.

Me: Got me!

We high-fived. Gotta laugh to keep from cryin'...

WOW!

2012-01-10T04:35:00.001-06:00

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OLD.

FASHION.

BUTT.

WHIPPIN'.

Ouch! That hurt.

Not really, so much.

I'm in a hurry, with lots on my plate today, and doin' it on short rest. I've just got to take a minute to tell the rest of the nation that y'all got y'all's work cut out for you next season.

We already know firsthand.

Good grief! That McCarron boy from 'Bama threw some spooky sharp passes, and his receivers made catches that normal humans just don't. And, they did it against an excellent Tiger defense, too.

As to the 'Bama defense.

WOW! I knew they were good. But...

Just WOW!

Y'all don't be worried about me. I am not depressed. But, I was "impressed."

Great season, Tigers! Y'all played a regular season worthy of the SEC Championship! I'm proud of y'all!

Great game, Tide! Y'all played a BCS Championship game better than anybody yet!

We'll get back to this in September.

As far as I know, it does not come early this year. In fact, we got a leap day thrown in here before we get there, too.

Crud...

Y'all might have heard this already...but there is a ball game on television tonight.

2012-01-09T17:04:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all!

Okay, so I just made the VERY WORST VIDEO IN THE HISTORY OF iPHONES, OR V-LOGGING!

Maybe the worst in the history of The YouTube!!!

But, what the heck?

And now a word from our sponsor...

2012-01-07T16:41:00.002-06:00

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Naw, we really don't have any sponsors here at Andy's Place.

Nope!

Nobody would pay to support this foolishness.

But, we have occasionally tried to do some biniss here...not personally, mind you (no GoobleAds, or pop-up junk, or other annoying crap like other globbers use, and never make a penny on...just sayin'...).

But I did help sell a momocycle for #3 son once (that was back when I OWNED the Gooble, and got about a million hits on "motorcycles for sale shreveport"). Alas, that was THEN...and this is NOW. Sigh...

Anyway, my Brother-In-Law (The Mrs.' brother) has gotten in touch with his creative self over the last few years.

This here is a wire sculpture that he made for me and The Mrs. to give to my Mom & Dad on their 57th anniversary (which was Jan.1...and I forgot to tell y'all about it). It is a beautiful, intricate thing that the pitcher does not do justice.

He does some really creative stuff...makes wire tree sculptures, cedar birdhouses, some very interesting boxes, and such.

Truthfully, his stuff is REALLY WAY COOL.

If you're looking for a unique gift for someone...maybe for a birthday, anniversary, housewarming, wedding, divorce celebration, etc....

Well, you might want to check out his page on Etsy. You too can have the joy of giving a "one of a kind" gift to someone! No Chink sweat shop/assembly link junk here!!! Just real American hand-made stuff.

In fact, I would call it "patriotic" of you to purchase something...or at least pass this link around to others in need of wonderful, and unique gift ideas.

You can look at his work here. And, if you get a chance, please pass this link around. His stuff is really WAY cool. We've got a cedar bird house he made, too.

I'll bet Indonesians, or Chinks can't do that!

It's probably kinda more special to us because it came from him...and from the cedar trees on the "old fambly farm" near Ozark stinkin' Arkansas...but it would still make a great gift for ANYONE!

That's all. Pass that link around, would y'all? Please? Pretty please with sugar on top???

Hankerin' for what sounded like the Best Dang Cookie in the world!

2012-01-07T07:45:00.002-06:00

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Hey y'all! Since a couple of weeks before Christmas, I have had a powerful hankerin' for something I read about on The Facebook. A friend of mine was talking about how her daughter had made the best dang cookies in the world.

They were Oreos baked inside chocolate chip cookies.

Now, does that sound sinful, or what?

I swear, I have not been able to get that off my mind...even with all the crap and sweets I ate over the holidays, I still wanted me some of those! So, I took matters in to my own hands last night, and made me some. I'm gonna show y'all how to do it, too!

Now, the first thing that I do when I bake cookies (or anything, really), is let my cold ingredients reach room temperature. So, I started getting my stuff together, and set my eggs and shortening out on the counter top. Now, you're just gonna use the recipe that is on the Nestle chocolate chip bag...no real trick to that...just do what it says. But, it calls for butter or margarine.

In my vast experience with baking, I've found that if you're gonna bake cookies, shortening is really better. They come out mo' softer IMHO. So, shortening it was.

Be sure and do exactly what it says on the chocolate chip package...I mean, like sifting your dry ingredients, and putting the eggs in at the right time. Do exactly what they say. Trust me...THEY KNOW.

You want to get your batter beat up real good, too...use a rubber scraper and run it backwards from the way your mixing bowl is turning. Trust me, this'll help.

Now, I started thinking to myself (having never seen one of these fabled Oreo/Chocolate Chip cookies), that those were gonna be some jumboass cookies. I couldn't quite wrap my brain around how to wrap the Oreos up in cookie dough. So, I decided to make a big ol' cookie pie deal like they do at The Cookie Co. in the mall. So, I greased me up a throw-away round pan, and went to spreading the dough out.

You use half of the dough...spread out. A little tip would be this: You want to use a spoon, and dip it in water first. Just keep dipping the spoon in water, and it'll help you spread the dough out evenly.

Now, I do not know exactly how you want to do this, but I decided to break up the Oreo cookies, instead of smashin' 'em down whole. So...break up some Oreos.

How many?

About this many.

Then distribute the Oreos evenly on the dough...

Spread the rest of the dough on top of 'em...being sure to use your wet spoon and all.

And WALLA! That bad boy is ready to pop in the oven!

Now, our oven runs a little hot, so instead of 375, I set mine on 365 for 20 minutes.

Perfect.

See? Perfect!

What's the verdict?

Best dang cookie I think I've ever eaten!!!

Seriously...

Sinful!

Make you some! DO IT!!!

(Special thanks go to The Mrs. for capturing these Kodak Moments!)

We shall predict the Cotton Bow!!! (Okay, it was not the blowout I expected, but the Hawgz whupped 'em!)

2012-01-06T15:16:00.001-06:00

~~Hawgz 42 - Mildcats 10~~

Hawgz 29 - Mildcats 16

I'm just posting this so y'all will know just how astute I'm iz on bowl games that really mean something. Truth is that I have made ZERO predictions on the College Bow games this time around, because none of them really mattered (yet).

But this one does. Arkansas is the third best team in the nation, and should have been ranked as such coming in to the bow season.

They are going up against the third best team in the Big XII (or whatever it is now). It will be a massacre, and you will go on to sleep mid-2nd quarter. Oh wait...that's me that will go to sleep mid-2nd quarter...y'all might last a bit longer.

Is the iPhone wrong?

2012-01-06T07:54:00.000-06:00

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Maybe somebody can explain this to this dumb hick!

My phancy new iPhone has a World Clock button. You can select different cities around the world, and find out what time it is there. So, it's got New York on there, and I added Chicago (even though I don't know anybody in Chicago anymore, but it is in MY time zone...the REAL time zone).

So, I was thinking this morning that I ought to add Kabul, Afghanistan, seeing as Dean is stationed there right now (not in Kabul, but close). And, look what the iPhone World Clock says.

Now, does that make sense to any of y'all? Why the 30 minute difference? Shouldn't it be the same minute, even though different hours?

I guess I could gooble it, but I'm too lazy, and figured somebody out there might be able to solve this mystery.

(Plus, I just learned that I could take a screenshot of my iPhone, and wanted to try it out.)

Ever had a day that started off EXTREMELY BAD, and went downhill from there?

2012-01-05T21:58:00.000-06:00

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Yeah...me, too.

But, I have learned that bad days don't last, or wear on you unless you let them do it to you.

The jury is out on this one.

Naw...just kidding. Even with all the suck that my early confrontation with 1/5/12 brought (and the jury really IS out on the early suckage of the day), it was all good.

I got to stretch myself physically/mentally/emotionally/whatever.

I'm thinking that MUST be good for me! Surely, it MUST!

And, I got to see a beloved FRIEND that I haven't seen in a coon's age...got a hug around the neck from her, and somewhat caught up.

Somewhat. Not nearly enough.

Man...

Andy's Place 2011 Year in Review.

2012-01-04T16:06:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! Okay, I stolden this off of Roses, who stolden it off of Dani.

That Dani's pretty dang creative, I think (Well, after I chased the link, I found that she stolden it off somebody else...but she's still pretty creative).

What you do is take the first line of the first post of each month of 2011, and it becomes your "Year in Review."

Here goes nothin'!

January: Ain't that somethin'! I just realized how rare a day 1-1-11 is! Shazzaaam!

February: Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

March: Okay, a long long time ago...I can still remember how the music used to make me smile...

April:

WALK WITH ME BY THE WATER...

A BEAUTIFUL MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLD TOGETHER.

Shit!

I forgot the words....

May: Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

June: I don't have "writer's block." No, quite the opposite. I've got Publisher's Block.

July: I love you guys, and gals! Don't drink too much, okay?

August: Me, too! Me, too! Me, too!

September: I've been asking for over 8 months now the burning question, "When is September gonna be?"

October: Where we at?

November: I swear, from the time that I was about 11 years old through my Senior Year in High School, it NEVER failed. On "picture day," I would wake up and discover an enormous zit on my face.

December: Do y'all see Sadie?

Interest (The rule of 72, 114, and 144)

2012-01-03T17:08:00.005-06:00

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Hey y'all! 2012 hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

About 20 years ago we were living in a VERY small community in SW Colorado. It was a time in our lives that we enjoyed very much...made some great friends that we still communicate with, enjoyed the gorgeous scenery, and learned a heckuvalot about the US Western lifestyle.

It's WAY different than urban SE United States life.

WAY.

Anyway, a man I knew there was the Maintenance/Custodial Supervisor for the little school system. One day we were talking, and he mentioned that he REALLY REALLY REALLY needed to find someone that could fill in for his Custodians/Maintenance guys on vacations, sick days, personal days, etc. So I said, "Juan (because that was his name), I could probably do that for you."

I grew up in the mechanical business (kinda), had a good working knowledge of mechanical equipment, and knew how to swing a mop.

Also, I figured it would be a good way to meet more local folks, get more involved in the community...and make a few coins.

So, I became a "Substitute Janitor!"

Honestly, I really enjoyed it! I spent a couple of months filling in for the other Janitors, had a great time of it, and made some great friends along the way.

As an employee, I was enrolled in the State of Colorado Public Employee Retirement Association. And, every year I get a statement from them showing just how much I've got coming when I cash in.

Now, as a "Substitute Janitor," I really never contributed but just a small amount of money (which was withdrawn from my Substitute Janitor checks), but it's been interesting to watch my little nest-egg blossom. I got my annual statement today, and lookit!

As you can see, the $44 I contributed (tax deferred, too) has blossomed over 19 years to a whopping $128! Jeepers, that's 84 bucks in FREE money!!!

I got to thinking about that, and it reminded me of my 9th grade Civics class. The Civics teacher, Mrs. Carma Cook was married to a Certified Public Accountant. And, even though personal economics/money management stuff was probably not part of the proscribed curriculum, she taught us a lot about money junk. She taught us about how to write a check, keep a checking account balance, and about interest.

I remember her teaching us about the "Rule of 72, 114, and 144."

That rule tells you how long it will take to double, triple, or quadruple your money at a particular rate of interest. You just divide the "RULE number" by the expected rate of interest, and it tells you how many years it's gonna take to either double, triple, or quadruple your money.

As an easy example, if you are making 10% interest on your money, it will double in 7.2 years, triple in 11.4 years, and quadruple in 14.4 years.

See?

So, my annual statement from the Colorado PERA tells me that I have not made a contribution since 1993. So, let's say that's (WHAT???) 19 years. My contribution of 44 smackeroos (which were extracted from my check by force) have dang near tripled in those roughly 19 years. So, that means that the Colorado PERA has invested my hard-earned toilet cleaning coins, and gained me ~~exactly~~ roughly a 6% return on my contribution (which was extracted from my check by force).

And you know what? That ain't all that bad.

Interest rates on savings/money market accounts/etc. have fluctuated over those 19 years, but they have been EXTREMELY low the last 10 years or so. And, 401Ks have sucked like armadillos in a graveyard.

So, whatever the folks at the Colorado PERA are investing in must be pretty safe, and profitable. I do not know exactly what they are investing in (because, believe it or not, I am not on the Board of Directors), but I'll give 'em a tip of the ball cap!

Maybe I didn't explain that 72/114/144 RULE very good.

Let me go Goobling...y'all hang on...

Okay, here's one if you're interested.

That's all. Let's just call this Education Day at Andy's Place.

(And, just because I'm gonna be filthy rich in 420 years, don't be thinking I'll give y'all a loan or nothing...)

Andy's 2012 Resolution

2012-01-02T18:23:00.002-06:00

I know that January 2 is an odd time to make a resolution. But, circumstances being what they are, I didn't think I'd make resolutions, because I suck at keeping them.

Anyway, I'm making ONE New Year Resolution!

1) RESOLVED! To keep shaving EVERY day of 2012, and to answer EVERY e-mail that somebody sends me.

I swear, I shaved almost every day in 2011 (that was a 2011 resolution that I was bound and determined to keep...but I missed about 9 Remington MicroScreen Mornings). And, I've got about 17 e-mails (one dating back to late October) that I've been planning on answering.

I suck.

I will DEFINITELY answer EVERY e-mail in 2012. Even if it's just a "Hey, I got it! Hey, Thanks for the peace angel deal! Hey, Thanks for that joke I've told since I was 7 years old. Hey, Thanks for telling me your baby-sitter has a cold, and needs prayer...I'll be sure and pray for him. Hey,.."

...well, you get the idea.

I'm going to answer EVERY e-mail. And shave every day in 2012.

Beats the heck out of a treadmill...I mean, look what it did to that chick!

Name that famous relative!!! (Let's try this again)

2012-01-02T06:55:00.000-06:00

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Editorial note: I had downloaded this video, and had hit the "private" button, so if you tried to look at it, you could not. Thanks StopSign, for giving me the heads up. But, it pretty well sucks anyway, so you didn't miss anything.
Hey y'all!

I made y'all a V-Logg to see if y'all could guess something, and win some blog points (50 of 'em, too! Those will come in handy sometime, some place, somewhere).

Trust me, they will...

(A clarification. This V-Logg might confuse y'all. My "Papaw" did not die young-ish. I was talking about my famous relative singer when I said, "He died young-ish." Papaw was real old when he died. He was a great friend, and an interesting character that I had with me, well in to my 30s. He was on up in his 80s, and I still miss him every day. So, consider y'alls selves clarified on that deal).

So, how many is that now?

2012-01-02T01:00:00.002-06:00

Yep! 2809 posts...about a hundred nasty e-mails, and something like 92 comments!

January 2, 2008 is when this Titanic of a glob set sail headed to who knows where. And, to be sure, wherever it was headed, it hasn't made it there yet.

I'll let y'all know when we do.

It has been an honor, a privilege, and yes, a source of strength to have y'all along...ya' know, just rearranging the deck chairs with me.

Y'all are great! I've gotten to know some of you "face to face," and many of you very well. I've shared stupid junk, funny junk, and even some serious junk from time to time.

The relationships on the blog are great. But, even better are the ones that we've taken "off blog," to e-mails, telephone calls, and personal visits. Some of y'all reading this (and you know who you are) have been real "rocks" for me during these last four years. I would not have shared your strength, advice, support, and love (or bent your ear), had it not been for the relationship this hyar glob opened up between us.

I will FOREVER be grateful.

Truly.

Imma keep it going a while longer.

Love,

Andy

Happy New Year! (My perdictions for 2012)

2012-01-01T08:59:00.001-06:00

A) The world will not end.

B) Israel will get in a war with Iran. ObozO will crap his diaper, and have not ONE clue as to what to do.

3) LSU will beat 'Bama in the BCS Championship on January 9 by the score of 24 to 10. (We will play MUCH better than we did in Tuscaloosa, and humiliate Corch Saban's bunch.

4) My beloved LSU Tigers will go 13-0 again in the regular season, and head off to play some useless team from the Big XII (or whatever it is now) in the BCS Championship game in 2013.

We will win (of course), but that will happen over in 2013, so this part of it is not really a perdiction about 2012.

E) Mitt Romney will trounce Barack ObozO in the Presidential Election, even though the Republicans, for the most part, wished they'd had a more conservative candidate. He will be elected in November of 2012 in an electoral landslide...mostly because all of those "first time" voters that ObozO inspired to the polls in 2008 (and have not voted since) have forgotten where their polling station is.

As a side note, Mitt will stun his conservative detractors by actually presiding in the Oval office as a conservative. He will govern much more conservatively than Dubya did...but it'll take a few years for that to play out, so this is not a perdiction for 2012.

6) The Republicans will gain full control of all three branches of gubmit (The White House, The Senate, and the House of Representatives, those are the three branches, according to the retarded guy from New Stinkin' York, Senator Chuck Schumer).

7) Gold will stay about where it is as far as monetary value...maybe drop a hundred bucks per ounce. (Silver will, too. It's already nose-dived, and will likely stay right where it's at).

8) Incandescent light bulbs will NOT be banned after all! The Congerss will reverse itself when the overwhelming phone calls, e-mails, and threats of violence toward Congerssmen/Women/Whatever from constituents that have NOT been paying attention for the last many years outweigh the political power of GE (which GE sucks).

9) Another dictator will die. Hopefully, it will be Fidel Castro. But, it won't matter. "Mans' Inhumanity to Man" will rock on until Jesus comes.

Again.

10) Notre Dame's football program will suck.

Again.

11) I will finally figure out exactly how to change the touch sensitivity on my phancy new iPhone, and not accidentally call my Brother-in-Law in the middle of the night and wake him up when I was really just trying to check my e-mail.

12) Our old buddy, Two Dogs, will start blogging again in serious fashion. (If he decides to).

13) (That's a prime number, in case you didn't know) "The Peace of Jerusalem" will still be prayed for by Yours Truly.

14) I will not have a grandchild born, but will continue to have a never-ending brood of great nieces and great nephews.

I swear, they're like a bunch of rabbits.

15) Tucker will turn two years old, but he will not exhibit the standard "Two Year Old" behavior.

16) (Removed before publishing, because even though I'd be right with this one, it would hurt a family member's feelings if they read it.)

17) Same as #16.

18) Same as #17.

19) My baby brother will turn 50 in July. He will be a fabulous Father to his newborn baby girl (I don't remember what her name is, but it's no biggie because I can barely remember the names of my own children).

Yep! He's really gonna be 50, and has to keep care of this little package.

Glad it's not me!

Just sayin'...

20) Drumroll..............Andy will buy a new comprutuh! Even though I am scared spitless, because all of my biz customer database is on MS Works 8, and I am ALMOST POSITIVE that it will not work with Windows 7, and I'm probably going to have to start back from scratch with about a bazillion things having to do with my biz, and Daddy's biz to actually be a productive human in this digital age, I'm gonna have to do it.

It took two restarts just to get this overwhelmingly wonderful glob post done.

Jeepers...

I guess us XP fans are going the way of the dinosaurs.

Oh yeah, something I forgot...The Mayans suck! No matter how much y'all wish the world is going to end pretty quick, and put y'all out of y'all's misery...it ain't gonna happen.

Merry New Years!!!

Just a note of thanks.

2011-12-31T14:58:00.001-06:00

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I want to thank all both of y'all that said my singing wasn't half bad in my Auld Lang Syne V-Logg.

(Just in case y'all didn't know, the verses of that song were from a pome by Robert Burns. He is one of my favorite poets, and was known as "The Bard of Scotland." I know most of y'all don't think I know such cultural things, but I do. I actually have an old copy of "Pomes Chiefly In The Scottish Dialect," by The Bard of Scotland hisself. It's not autographed by Bobby, because it's not really, really old...I mean, my copy of it isn't.)

I'm touched...

(Jokes about that will be deleted by the Blog Administrator).

Truth is, I have a VERY good singing voice (even if I do have to say so myself).

You see, the problem is that I recorded that V-Logg at about 6:00 am. I had only had one cup of coffee at that time, and everybody knows that you've gotta get your larynx stretched out throughout the day if you're gonna sing real good.

I mean, it wasn't really great like Vince Lombardi and the Royal Canadians would do it, but it was early.

Real early.

Plus, the cheesy piano plunking background music I chose was in the wrong key for my voice. But, it was early, and I didn't want to keep Goobling for something better. It was early.

Real early.

Pretty soon, I'm gonna make y'all a V-Logg with all factors perfect, and y'all can hear just how good I really do sing.

I know y'all can't barely wait!

As we celebrate The Holiday Season...December 31

2011-12-31T08:30:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

This will be the final V-logg of 2011.

Don't bother to thank me.

Sadie thought she could fake me out! HA!!!

2011-12-30T17:05:00.001-06:00

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Not so...

My beloved yellow lab, Sadie, KNOWS that she gets food at 500 HRS, and at 1700 HRS.

Every stinkin' day.

I keep her on a regular schedule, because I'm really concerned about junk like that...

But, Sadie KNOWS that I'm off from working for The Man, and I've been busier than a one-armed-paperhanger...and there's a bunch of junk going on in our 'hood (like momocycles flying down our skreet at breakneck speed, Daddy closing on the sale of the duplexes next door to Andy's Place, a really strange looking blonde chick walking the property with something that looks like a 250mm cigarette hanging out of her mouth, and various other junk that will remain unmentioned).

So, I went outside about 4:00 pm, and Sadie started doing her "begging" routine...like it was already 1700 HRS.

HA!!! She did not know that I had glanced at the alarm clock in my gorgeous dark mauve bedroom before I alighted. It was roughly 4:00 pm.

She's stupid.

But, she's not stupid enough to fool me!

(Actually, some of it might have to do with the fact that firecrackers are going off like we're at war with Shreveport, or something...and she nearly breaks down the back door to my beautiful dark mauve bedroom when folks start putting good money up in smoke with firecrackers. I think she might have a nervous stomach).

I just love screwing around with animals, and small chirrens!!!

(It's a character flaw...I know.)

Well, I posted a link on The Facebook, and sent computer letters to other virtual friends, and EVERYBODY seems to like Woody's work...so...

2011-12-29T17:35:00.001-06:00

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I reckon I should link at it on this Titanic of a glob, too!

RON PAUL!!! RON PAUL!!! RON PAUL!!!

Woody should post more often.

Just sayin'...

Tucker is ONE YEARS OLD TODAY!!!

2011-12-28T17:33:00.012-06:00

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Yep, Great Nephew, Tucker, turns the calendar on his first year on this very day.

I've shown y'all pictures of him, and videos of him and all...

But, in a previous V-logg, I casually mentioned that I might try to scare the livin' crap out of him, and make him cry with my fancy new Twist-a-Light that ~~The Mrs.~~ Santa brought me for Christmas.

(I just love screwing around with animals and small children...it's a character flaw, I know...)

So, I put my Twist-a-Light around my head in standard alien looking fashion, and took to the job.

So, how did it come out?

(I apologize for the shaky camera deal...I was crawling on my belly like a reptile with a Twist-a-Light wrapped around my head, and an iPhone in my hand. I did my best.)

I just love that boy! I think if I did it in a really dark room when he was already kinda' scared, I'd have got him to scream real loud, and dookie his pants.

I just couldn't get the room dark enough!

Crud...

So, what did Santa bring Andy for Christmas?

2011-12-27T01:00:00.002-06:00

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Well, thanks for asking!!!

I'll show y'all...

As we celebrate The Holiday Season...December 26, "Kwanzaa" is finally here!

2011-12-26T01:00:00.001-06:00

The "Holiday Celebration" we've all been waiting for has finally arrived!

Now, the extremely important holiday celebration known as "Kwanzaa" is a mystery to lots of folks, because they do not KNOW just how dang important it is.

Sure, it's a made-up deal with no real historic significance, but that DOES NOT diminish the importance of the whole dang thing!

Shirley Q. explains it all...and then a short note from Yours Truly.

Well, bite me!

Happy Kwanzaa y'all!

A brief look at the Sitemeter visitor log reveals that The Gooble may be falling in love with us again.

2011-12-25T19:38:00.005-06:00

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Seems that we rank extremely high on The GoobleSearch© in one particular term.

Not #1, mind you...but at least we're ahead of the Retard in Chief!

(Click on it to see the big picture.)

Nyuk...funny thing is, the visitor that hit our joint (thus giving us the heads-up on our high ranking) just happens to reside in The District of Columbia.

I know it ain't ObozO himself, because I'm pretty sure he's on vacation somewhere, and I am almost certain that the imbecile can not even tie his own shoes...let alone type in letters and junk on a The GoobleSearch©.

As we celebrate The Holiday Season...December 25, "Christmas Day!"

2011-12-25T04:48:00.000-06:00

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Well, here we are...and I just have one thing to say!

Well, I really had some other things to say. So, I made y'all a V-log!

Don't bother to thank me.

So, where is Santa at right now?

2011-12-24T18:13:00.001-06:00

Our buddy Buck, at Exile in Portales, posts a link to NORAD's Santa tracker each year. In fact, he's highlighting some of the Fat Man's stops over there at his joint tonight.

I've been looking at it. At the time of this writing, he's on the Ivory Coast...but don't worry, he'll get to your house some time tonight!

Don't he always?

You can see where he's at right here.

Y'all try to get some sleep, would you? If you don't go to sleep, he won't come!

See, what I was trying to do was capture Tucker's "first steps" on my phancy new iPhone video camera...

2011-12-24T07:19:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! Merry Christmas, ho ho ho, and all that...

I have told y'all about Tucker, my little great nephew that The Mrs. keeps care of four days a week. The boy is almost one year old, and I KNOW that he can walk. I mean, the boy can stand straight up from butt-sitting, but he just won't walk.

So, me, The Mrs., and #3 son were trying to force him to walk!

Now, as I've noted, Tucker is the sweetest, best-natured little cat we've ever had around here at Andy's Place. He rarely ever cries...he's lovable & huggable...and a pilferer extraordinaire!

A real boy.

But, as we discovered, he does NOT want to walk just yet. After several tries holding his hand and letting go, he finally made it clear that he had NO PLANS to walk, and needed some Aunt Pam love, instead.

Y'all enjoy! I mean, what could be better to watch on Christmas Eve than a video of a crying baby?

Answer me that!

As we celebrate The Holiday Season...December 24 (carrying on a personal tradition)

2011-12-24T05:55:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! In case you didn't know, the ol' calendar on the wall announces that today is "Christmas Eve."

My free National Wildlife Federation calendar also makes mention that there is a "New Moon" tonight (hmmm...I wonder if NASA knows about this).

Heck, come to think of it, having an extra Moon might better help Santa see where he's going at! The Cosmos is just astounding, the way all these puzzle pieces fit together...

Regardless, I shall celebrate Christmas Eve this year the same way that I have for over 30 years.

It's a tradition!!!

And, by now y'all should all know how BIG I am on tradition.

If y'all got any ideas, I'm all ears.

Well, honestly I'm mostly nose...so maybe I should say, "I'm open for some hep!"

Look out The WalMart, here I'mz comes!!!

I reckon I'll be tied up most of the day...

Some pretty interesting things happened on December 23.

2011-12-23T07:20:00.000-06:00

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Just a link to "This Day Trivia," my personal historic authority.

Susan Lucci is 63...

Just in time for Christmas gift giving! (#3)

2011-12-23T06:43:00.000-06:00

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Well, the old calendar on the wall is tick-tick-ticking! There are only TWO shopping days left until Christmas!

And, have I got a gift idea for you! You can give this to that man on your list that has everything...maybe a little too much of everything!

They've got a CROTCH GUSSET!

And, it's HIDDEN, too!

I caught The Mrs. just about to order a half a dozen of these for me from the good folks at Duluth Trading Co. (because they're on sale at 40% off), but I stopped her before she did. I've still got a couple of pairs of these from last year that I haven't blown the crotch gusset out in yet...so thrift shall be our motto this year.

Hurry up! It's probably too late to get Christmas delivery, but you can print this picture out and put it in that special fella's Christmas card, and tell him that relief is on the way!

Don't bother to thank me.

As we celebrate The Holiday Season...December 21, "Hanukkah!"

2011-12-21T04:29:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

My nifty free National Wildlife Federation calendar on the wall tells me that today is:

So, to ~~celebrate~~ commemorate, I made y'all a V-log on my fancy new iPhone, and downloaded it on The YouTube so y'all could look at it!

Don't bother to thank me.

As we celebrate The Holiday Season...December 20, "Osmond Day!"

2011-12-19T21:17:00.001-06:00

As you can see, my nifty free National Wildlife Federation calendar on the wall lists no "official Holiday" on December 20. But, some awful interesting things happened on this date.

In 1944, Dwight Eisenhower was promoted to General of The Army. (Thanks to BR for catching my error).

In 1879, Thomas Edison first demonstrated the incandescent bulb. YOU GO TOMMY!

And, in 1860, SouCahlina seceded from The Nyunited States! (I will NOT go there, even though I'm tempted).

And, a whole lot of interesting folks croaked on this day, too.

In 2001, the "lovable lush," Foster Brooks passed. Hey, a great Foster Brooks quote:

"I never drew a sober breath from Friday night to Monday. Eight years ago, I quit. Fellow made me a $10 bet I couldn't quit, and I haven't had a drink since. At the time I needed the $10."

Nyuk...

In 1976, Chicago Mayor Richard Daley died.

Nyuk...

In 1973 Bobby Darin died on this date.

Sad...

And, in 1968, John Steinbeck turned toes up, too.

(He was a writer).

But, if I had to pick an event that ought to be celebrated (especially in the Holiday Season), I'd say it is this one.

On December 20, 1962, The Osmond Brothers made their debut on The Andy Williams Show singing the American classic, "I'm a Ding Dong Daddy from Dumas."   (now, what is more holidayish than the Andy Williams show? Answer me that!)

Anybody that knows anything about pop culture knows that the careers of the Osmond Brothers/Family/whatever were launched by Mr. Andy Williams, and his personal popularity. America would have been a different place had the Osmond phenomenon not got started somewhere.

The Osmonds are a piece of Americana...a slice of American Pie...a patch in the quilt of whatsoever junk that we remember!

Thanks, Mr. Andy Williams!

I guess...

Now, before we get to the video, we need to discuss the controversy about the song, "I'm a Ding Dong Daddy from Dumas." And, controversy there is!

Trust me, there is.

It seems that the writer of the song, one Phil Baxter, once lived in the town of Dumas, Texas, so Texans claim that this song was writ about someone being "from" their West Texas town. On the flipside, Dumas stinkin' Arkansas (which I traveled through regularly for four miserable years) also claims from time to time (with no documentation) that the classic should be attributed to their fair hamlet.

And, the lyrics do seem to favor the Dumas, stinkin' Arkansas argument...somewhat. When they talk about Whampus Kitties...well, that's an Arkansas thing which we have discussed before on this here Titanic of a glob.

Nyuk...if you visit the Dumas, stinkin' Arkansas Wickedpedia page you'll see the photo that they sport. It is captioned, "The Fred's store after it was hit by the tornado." I kid you not...

As a side note, my older brother and I were pulled over by a Texas State Trooper in August of 1977 en route to Colorado for going 105 in a 65. My brother was driving (I do NOT speed) my beloved Granddaddy's Pontiac Grand Safari Station Wagon that we camped out in on our big adventure. That bigass State Trooper hauled us down to the courthouse, where a female judge charged us roughly ONE HUNDRED BUCKS to let us get the hell out of Dumas, TX.

That was a lot of money in 1977. Just sayin'...

So, I have been to both Dumas, Texas, and Dumas stinkin' Arkansas, and I can tell you that I have not one fond memory of either.

But, ya' gotta love The Osmond Brothers on The Andy Williams Show.

Now that I have a The YOU TUBE account, I could download this, trim it off, and put just the performance part in it, and download it back up to the YouTube, but that is WAY too much trouble. So, just fast forward to 1:25 to see the slice of American Pie/piece of Americana/whatever.

So, from here on out, at Andy's Place we shall celebrate December 20th as "Osmond Day!"

As we kick off the Holiday Season...

2011-12-19T05:09:00.000-06:00

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

We'll be using my nifty National Wildlife Federation December calendar from now through the end of the year to highlight special days. It's a really cool calendar. They sent it to me free, even though I never sent them one thin dime.

Don't know why they did. But, it's bitchin'! It's an 18 month calendar, and it's got pictures of animals and junk. This month features a Red Fox, and a Snowshoe rabbit. The BIG picture that hangs above the day/date grid (which I did not show y'all) is of a Black Capped Chickadee, too!

Thanks NWF! By looking at this calendar, I see that it's only 6 days until Christmas. Crud. I guess we need to get the decorations out of the attic. I probably will when I get home from work this afternoon.

Maybe...

Maybe not.

Y'all have a great Monday, okay?

Thanks for the Memories, Cowdad!

2011-12-18T15:56:00.000-06:00

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Our OLD friend, Cowdad (who we have NOT heard from in a coon's age) sends along this video. Sure, it's 10 minutes long, and I rarely post anything longer than 2 minutes (unless it is yours truly doing a V-Log), but I watched the whole dang thing, and enjoyed the heck out of it!

And, if you can get past Baba Wawa, there are some hot chicks in there, too.

A great man was Mr. Hope...

So, how is Andy feeling today?

2011-12-18T04:58:00.000-06:00

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Well, thanks for asking!

I'm feeling MUCH better now.

I mean, don't I look just maaaahvalous?

Truth is, I do feel a lot better. Two straight days either in bed, or on my rump have helped. Plus, I just happened to have purchased a lifetime supply of Drixoral before they pulled it off the market, so I still have access to the good stuff when it comes to decongesting.

The only bad thing is that Advil does me like it does everybody else, I guess. I am the most regular of all humans. The fact that I eat a diet high in vegetables, and fiber and junk makes me just tick like a Swiss watch. But, not so when it comes to the rare times when I resort to pain relieving pills.

So, it's been about three days (and I've been forcing fluids, too)...but this morning, I did dookie out a little brick, so maybe we'll get that back in order the next couple of days, too.

Whew! I survived another brush with certain death. And, let me say that I appreciate all y'all's love, and prayers for my recovery.

And, it seems that I'm feeling better just in time to get back to work for The Man this morning.

Thank God for small favors.

I guess.

Y'all have a great Sunday, and be well!

I love y'all! Y'all come see us!

(I'm pretty sure we're not contagious anymore, so I'm pretty sure it's safe to come see us.)

V-Logging through illness...

2011-12-17T08:20:00.000-06:00

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Editorial note: I accidentally cut the camera off before I could tell y'all that I love y'all, and to come see us.

But, I am a bit off my game...

Trust me, you'll tell this one to someone today...

2011-12-16T07:12:00.000-06:00

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Our good buddy, and regular contributor, Paul the Fireguy sends this one along. (I modified it slightly)

A small zoo in Alabama obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem. The gorilla was in heat.

To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available. Thinking about their problem, the Zoo Keeper thought of Bobby Lee Walton, a redneck part-time worker (and HUGE Crimson Tide fan) responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Bobby Lee, like most rednecks, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species.

The Zoo Keeper thought they might have a solution. Bobby Lee was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for $500.00?

Bobby Lee showed some interest, but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day, he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under five conditions:

"First", Bobby Lee said, "I ain't gonna kiss her on the lips." The Keeper quickly agreed to this condition.

"Second", he said, "She must wear a 'Dale Earnhardt Forever' T-Shirt, and a 'Bama ball cap." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Third", he said, "you can't never tell nobody about this." The keeper again readily agreed to this condition.

"Fourth", Bobby Lee said, "I want all the children raised Southern Baptist.” Once again it was agreed.

"And last," Bobby Lee said, "I'll need another week to come up with the $500.00.”

HAVE YOU EVER HAD ONE OF THOSE DAYS WHEN YOUR ALARM GOES OFF AT 0400

2011-12-14T16:47:00.000-06:00

AND YOU HAVE TO BE AT WORK AT 0545 HRS AND YOU HIT THE "SNOOZE" TWICE AND FINALLY DRAG YOUR CRAPPY FEELING SELF OUT OF BED AND STUMBLE TO THE KITCHEN AND FIND THAT THE SINK SPRAYER IS TURNED AROUND THE WRONG WAY AND YOU SPRAY YOURSELF IN THE FACE AND THEN YOU PUT WATER IN THE COFFEE MAKER TWICE AND IT RUNS ALL OUT EVERYWHERE AND THE COFFEE IS TWICE AS MUCH AS YOU NEED AND HALF AS STRONG AS YOU NEED WHEN IT FINALLY GETS DONE?

Yeah...me, too.

Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

Man, I feel like crap! Tucker was sick for four days...then The Mrs. was sick for four days...

But, even though I feel like crap, I ain't receiving it!

NO! I shall awake mañana as fit as a fiddle!!!

Probably...maybe...probably not.

Crap...

A definitive decision has been made by the Blog Administrator at Andy's Place about V-Logging.

2011-12-13T19:21:00.000-06:00

Tebow, the NFL, and some quick linky junk...

2011-12-13T15:25:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! As y'all know, I do not look at the NFL hardly ever. In fact, I usually have to get to work on Monday morning to find out if The Saints, or 'Boys, or somebody's favorite team won, or sucked big time on Sunday.

But, I have been at least somewhat interested in two stories this season. 1) The Green Bay Packers, and their total domination of all things Sundayish with the pigskin. And, 2) The treatment of Timbow by the media, pundits, etc.

I will not lay out my thoughts and such about Timbow right now...and likely will never. Except, I will say that the guy is a winner. He's always won, and he always will. (I'm sure part of that is due to Congressperson Corrine Brown's encouragement...she's a huge Tim Tivo fan. Obviously.)

Now on to the linkage (and, trust me, this is not to a pitcher of a big fat chick)...My High SchoolMate, CosmicConservative, who is now a local in the Denver area, and a Broncos follower has been blogging about the Timbow story for a good bit of the season. His last post is worth a read (not that they all weren't). But, I think he goes yard with this one.

That's all.

Getting deeper into the techno side of V-Logging... (links in videos)

2011-12-12T18:25:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Well, if we're gonna do this V-Logging deal, we need to do it right! As with everything else virtual, there is trial/error/learning/unlearning/ignurnce/learnin'/looking like a retarded dufus/and maybe finally making one step forward (In the "techno" sense, mind you).

Maybe.

So...here goes nothin'!!!

So...this next video here is where I transferred control of a follow-up video to a super secret editing dealie outside The YouTube Video Manager Editor (which I found on my own...no offense intended, TD!).

Let's us just see if this works...

<a href="http://www.linkedtube.com/So7tvOwQMSkcf0622b67da28baffc0d9215b269dfcf.htm">LinkedTube</a>

So, what does Andy think about RG-III winning the Heisman Trophy?

2011-12-11T16:44:00.000-06:00

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Well, I'm glad y'all axed!

(Okay, so I decided to take my break at work and make ~~one~~ two videos for y'all to look at with my fancy new iPhone. This thing is just immeasurably wonderful. Just sayin'...)

Oh yeah, just one more somethin'...

This is how The Heisman Trophy winner gets it.

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I've been three straight days off work.

2011-12-10T21:03:00.001-06:00

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You know what they say about idle hands...Very often they are producers of retarded junk.

(I'm sorry...while I was recording this, I had NO IDEA that it was as long, and boring as it was/is).

A serious question from the Blog Administrator here at Andy's Place...

2011-12-09T18:48:00.000-06:00

I love dogs, but occasionally I've had my weak moments...

2011-12-08T16:12:00.000-06:00

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I gotta admit that this thought has crossed my mind.

I suck.

I stolden this video off of StopSign.

(Y'all can blame her. She made me do it).

Some famous folks are real nice.

2011-12-06T18:12:00.001-06:00

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Hey y'all!

In my capacity as volunteer Secretary for my Daddy, I've had some interesting days. I got him in to this about 10 years ago, and it has provided him with a lot of benefits. #1) It has kept his mind and body moving in his Golden Years, and #2) He's made some serious coins in the process.

Daddy's business is an interesting one. Because of the nature of it he deals with people all across our beloved nation. He deals with people from all socio-economic/cultural/whatevers that share a common interest.

Now, Daddy is comprutuh illiterate! So, since I got him in to this mess I have remained his volunteer Secretary. I do his billing, website maintenance, and all of his computer letters, too. I really enjoy it. It's a small way of paying him back for all he's done for me.

Over this last decade we've dealt with some famous folks. If I started throwing out names, there would be some you would recognize. Some are politicians, entertainers, business moguls (one is the founder of a company that was a start-up at the time, that now shows films on the worldwide computer by the bunches).

Anyway, today I had an e-mail exchange with another famous person.

When I saw the name tagged on to the computer letter I wondered, "Hmmmm....I wonder if this really is (famous person's name withheld)?" Sure enough it was. I could tell by the actual e-mail address that I was indeed writing to a famous folks.

Said "famous folk" is a nationally syndicated radio personality, best-selling author, frequent guest on big-time cable news shows, an in-demand speaker, and I can tell y'all...one helluvagal!

Really. I swear, that lady is just as down-to-earth plain folks as she appears to the general public.

It got me to thinking about other famous folks I've run across in the past. I met Tom Landry once. Met Terry Bradshaw a couple of times. Really nice guys...nothing snobby at all.

A co-worker of mine at my "day job" once spent over an hour in her office with the great Walter Payton, and tells me that without a doubt he was one of the classiest, "Sweetest" humans that life ever put in her path.

Ya' know...it would be hard to be famous! It would be tough to try to go about a day to day life with everybody recognizing you, and wanting something from you. Heck, I've got some stories I can't tell, due to the nature of my employment...but some famous folks just tend to be triple-jerks.

But, not this gal.

Oh, BTW...she's a CONSERVATIVE! (Which explains much about why she's a helluvagal).

Maybe you've got an experience with famous folks you'd like to tell about.

Maybe not.

Anyway...it was pretty dang cool to deal with famous folk that interact with common folk...like common folk.

I know that made ZERO sense.

But, it's been a few days since I posted something, and I don't want The Globber to forget me.

Y'all have a great evening, okay?

Sunday Morning Quarterback - Week 14 - Wrapping up the regular season

2011-12-04T09:33:00.000-06:00

Good Lord A'mighty, getting to 13-0 was messy!

Ya' know, the thing I hate about college football is that eventually every season ends. I wish we could have it all year...maybe taking a month off so that corches could go recruit and all. But, I know that's not practical. And, the truth is I'd probably get tired of college football after a couple of non-stop years.

Probably not.

But, the 2011 regular season could not have ended in a more spectacularly messy manner.

I'm lovin' it.

Well, there were some bloody, messy, murders on Sattidy, for sure! Let's crank it off with my beloved Tigers of LSU. Only one time this season have we been whipped in the stats (and that by #2 Alabama...and not as whipped). But, the Red Clay Dawgz of Georgia came to play, and play they did. I had predicted a 36 - 10 win over Georgia, but not without some special team & defensive touchdowns. I would call "genius" on this one, but it don't take a rocket surgeon to look at the team's history and realize that such things are probably going to happen.

And, they did. My goodness...LSU - 30 yards passing (Jefferson was 5 for 13) - 13 first downs - lost the offensive yardage battle by 60 - won the game 42 - 10. That is the most upside down set of eventualities that I can recall. But, when you play 13 regular season ball games & win 'em all...you're gonna have some goofy wins.

I was thinking this morning just how hard it is to win 13 football games...especially in the toughest division of the toughest conference. It's dang near impossible. I was also wondering how many teams have ever won 14 games in a season. A little look back shows me that Auburn did it in 2010, and 'Bama did it in 2009.

I could be wrong, but I think that's it. So, ~~whoever plays us in the BCS Title Game~~ 'Bama will be defending a little history in the Dome come January 9, 2012 (If the Mayans were wrong, and the world don't end).

Now, that brings us to the slaughter in Stoolwater, and what might happen due to it. The Okie State 'Boys just beat the tar out of their in-State rival, OU. I mean, the performance by the Sooners was just as piss-poor as any I've witnessed this season from a top-10 ranked team. Honestly, I do not know which team is better ('Bama, or Okie State). Given the miserable performance by OU, heck, Notre Dame probably would have beat 'em.

There will be weeping & crying and Oklahoma outrage tonight if when 'Bama waltzes in to the BCS championship ahead of OSU. And, to be honest as an LSU fan, SEC homer, and lover of the sport, I'd really like to see us get Oklahoma State in the dome. We've already seen 'Bama, and I'd like a chance to prove that the SEC truly is the Championship Conference. Plus, I'd like to see Okie State's QB (and, a fine one he is) try to run away from our monsters for about half the game...and let them see what it's like to face a killer Defensive Line with their run game.

But, we're gonna get who we get...gonna be interesting.

After a humiliating loss to Clemson, #5 ranked Virginia Tech (who should have never been anywhere near the top 10) will be lucky to remain in the top 25. And, you've got the previously unbeaten Houston Cougars, who literally got the snot beat out of 'em (I saw some of that game...trust me, Cougar snot covered the turf) by lowly Southern Mississippi.

Nyuk...

Seriously, in the name of all things holy in college football, what were The Cougars doing with a #6 national ranking? Heck, their toughest opponent all season was Louisiana Tech. And, they only won by one stinkin' point. Houston should fall out of the top 25, also.

Here are the authoritative Sunday Morning Quarterback final top 10 rankings.

1) LSU

2) Alabama

3) Arkansas

4) Oklahoma State

5) Georgia

6) South Carolina

7) Baylor

8) Wisconsin

9) Kansas State

10) drum roll.......................The Boysies. (Yes, you did indeed read Andy put The Boysies in the top 10. It just goes to show how weak everybody else is).

Anybody lower than #10 is subect to severe suckage at any given time, so they're not worth ranking.

Well, it's been an exciting season! I swear, it seems like it just kicked off yesterday with my beloved Tigers embarrassing the miserable Oregon Ducks.

Times flies when you're having fun, I reckon!

We will be looking at some of the bowl games between now and when we win the BCS Championship game in New Orleans early next year. But, it's time to put the wraps on another season of SMQ. And, from me, the entire staff of writers, contributors, and office help, payroll people, housekeeping & maintenance staff, we say au revoir, sayonara, and aufweiterzen, y'all!

Catch y'all on the flip-flop...

Okay, it's halftime, and we're down 10-7 to the miserable Red Clay Dawgz...

2011-12-03T17:18:00.000-06:00

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I think I made a big mistake by not posting my "lucky chicken hat pitcher."

That should do it.

I'm sticking with my perdiction of a 36-10 win, now that I've brokened the jinx.

Where we at, and what we got??? (Week #14)

2011-12-03T08:35:00.000-06:00

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SWAMPED!

Man, I don't know if I'm washin', or hangin' out!

Hey y'all! I cut my grass yesterday. Yep! Mowed the grass on December 2. I had told y'all a few months back that I believed that it would NEVER rain again in NW Louisiana. So, I scalped the yard, drained the equipment, and closed the door on two cycle hell for the year.

But, I was wrong. Again. We've had several decent rains, and my yard looked like crap. So, I was forced to decide between getting my lazy rear end out there and finishing it off for the year (again), or having to look at the crappy-looking thing and regretting all Winter that I didn't.

It was a gorgeous day! Really. I don't know how warm it got, but I worked in short sleeves. I had gotten the heads up from Mr. Weather (you local visitors, and ex-locals will know who I'm talking about) that big ol' changes be on the way. Heavy rains & bitter cold temps headed our way...so, I knew this was probably my last chance to make the place half-way presentable.

Got it did, too! Well...all except I didn't run the weedeater. I only had a smidgen of two cycle gas left & didn't want to mix up a whole nother gallon to sit over the winter. So, I made the decision to feed the blower instead. It reallly needs a weed-eating to look perfect.

But, screw it.

I AM my Father. Yep! Thursday night I walked in my office, and looked at my desk. I swear, it looked just like Daddy's desk that I giggle about. I mean, scraps of paper everywhere...old receipts for junk that's already half-used, or gone...16 notifications of rate changes from State Farm Insurance...a receipt for perfume that was The Mrs.' birthday present (I knew the fragrance was right, I just held on to it in case I had bought the "cologne" instead of the "parfum". Again.)....old notes with customer orders from months ago...bids I made for equipment for Daddy to three or four School Districts...

Just a bunch of junk!

Now it's in some semblance of order, and the crap is either filed, or chunked.

Worked most of yesterday on my own biz...gotta take #4 son to the Dentist at 0930 (that should be fun). Gotta come home and work on my biz again after that until 1500 HRS.

Oh yeah...at 1500 CST, my beloved Tigers play in the SEC Championship game. Y'all don't call me until the game is over, okay? Normally, I'd be all revved up about this game. Normally, us SEC homers refer to the game in Atlanta as The National Championship. But, I think we already played that one against Corch St. Nick, and I'm having a little trouble working up a healthy hatred for The Red Clay Dawgz.

So, even though I shall be wearing the chicken hat, I'll spare y'all the picture this week. You'll have to trust me on it.

Will we win? Well, heck yeah! Will it be easy? Probably not. At least not at first.

I look for (a MUCH improved & improving) Georgia Bulldog team to put it on our offense. Their D is right up there with ours in many ways. And, Atlanta is really a home game for them. Not only that...there's a pride thing that Georgia will be carrying on their shoulders. All season, the SEC East has been maligned as dragging the conference down...the weaker of the twin sisters, etc. I say we win 36 to 10, but not without a few hiccups, and a defensive TD, or two.

The other big game of the day is Bedpan at Bone-Pickin' Stadium in Stoolwater. I don't have a dog in this fight (excuse the Michael Vick reference), but Imma say that OU will win this one. They need it BAD, and I think Okie State has been over-rated all season. OU 40 - 'Boys 30.

Well, that's all I got.

Boring post, I know.

But, if I don't post something every once in a while I'll forget how to work The Globber.

And, we certainly don't want that happening!

Y'all have a great weekend! I love y'all!

I mean it.

Just goofin' with my fancy new iPhone trying to see if I can post something to The Globber off it?

2011-12-02T11:12:00.001-06:00

Do y'all see Sadie?

My trip to the AT&T Store (Andy got a new iPhone)

2011-11-29T09:54:00.002-06:00

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(Editorial note: This post contains cute pictures of Tucker...so ya' might want to hang in there.)

Hey y'all, hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Well, it's a long, long story that I shouldn't bore y'all with. But, as coincidence would have it, within two days of my cheapo AT&T Nokia phone crapping out, The Mrs.' contract with Sprint (which sucks) ran out.

Now, she had a really good Samsung Rant telephone that she just loved! So, in an effort to keep her phone, we went to The Sprint Store. Our intent was to finally let #4 son have a cell phone (I'm still not sold on it, but The Mrs. insists that it's time), and get them on a two line plan. The folks were nice, but JEEPERS! Those folks are awful proud of their voice/text only plans.

Seriously, it was WAY TOO MUCH for their monthly plans.

Now, my telephone service is a piggyback off of #3 son's AT&T plan. And, cheap.

So, we all got our heads together and went to the AT&T store to see what we could do. Turned out like this:

I bought a new iPhone 4 (or 5, not sure which, because, well, because I'm not sure, but it's the newest one you can get) for $99 & added the mandatory data plan. We piggybacked The Mrs. phone number (she will use the AT&T LG Encore that I had purchased for myself a few days ago...dang good little phone, too), obtained a free Samsung phone for Paul (well...10 bucks).

Total monthly cost added to #3 son's AT&T bill: 50 bucks.

Yep! 50 bucks, and we're all set for communications.

Now...I had never really understood the big deal about the iPhone.

Until I got one.

This thing is cooler than the other side of the pillow. I'll admit to being a little overwhelmed when I saw what must be a 482 page instruction manual. But this thing is so dang user friendly that I've barely looked at the book (actually, I got it on .pdf). Plus, it seems that every other person I run in to has one, so I've just been able to ask folks how to do such and such...

It's cool.

I'm extremely happy with the outcome. And, Tina at the AT&T store on East Texas Street is the bomb!

So, we were left with one decision to make. What to do with The Mrs.' old Samsung Rant telephone???

Well, I went online to Gazelle.com, thinking I might get four or five bucks for it. Nope. Not interested.

So, we decided to transfer usage of it over to Great Nephew Tucker (The Mrs. thinks he's ready for his own phone, too).

I think he's figured out how to text.

But, he's having a little trouble with the voice call process...

Hey, Tucker! You're doin' it rawng!!!

So, I am officially Appleized!

Hey, if y'all iPhone owners have any suggestions for Apps (free ones preferably) that I might find handy, please feel free to suggest.

This thing is cool...

Presented without comment

2011-11-28T04:56:00.000-06:00

I hate to brag...but we own another one!

2011-11-26T12:39:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! My occasional look at The Sitemeter turned up something interesting.

← (Click it. Nyuk!)

Obviously, we're back in The Gooble's good graces after months of being on their dookie list. Funny thing is, this visitor was actually from Oxford, Mississippi. I reckon Nutt is leaving town just in time.

Not only that. Just pray that you get linked by Jim at MyBossier. I swear, that link he dropped really raised up the average. Thanks, Jimbo!

I guess.

I mean, I really wouldn't want a lot of your commentors to start insulting each other back and forth at my joint and calling each other names and all, like they do at yours.

But, yeah, thanks.

I guess.

That's all. Gotta go run some errands in the rain (thank God for it), and take The Mrs. out to celebrate her birthday (which was last week, but we were too dang busy to go anywhere). I'm not saying how old she is, but it no longer has a zero as the back number. Now she's a " 0-something."

See y'all!

A lot of y'all have my telephone number. If you do, I need to ask you a small favor.

2011-11-26T08:25:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! My cheapo Nokia cellular telephone crapped out yesterday. In the crap out, I lost all of my contacts. (I hadn't saved them to the SIMZ card, or somethin'.)

So, if I'm on your telephone contact list, and you wish to remain on mine, would you please just simply send me a short text stating who you are? That way I can add y'all back to my contacts.

That's all.

Oh, y'all have a great weekend, okay?

I was rawng!!!

2011-11-25T17:25:00.001-06:00

I should have sharpened my cipherin' chalk!

In my prediction earlier this week, I stated that it would be LSU 42 - Arkansas 12 (maybe 13). I really anticipated a 30 (or 29) point win.

We're just really good.

What I did not anticipate was my beloved Tigers giving up a defensive touchdown on a fumble. We just don't do such things. But, we did.

So, the poor Hawgz ended up with 17 points, instead of 10 (or 13, if they'd have been lucky enough to get in to feel go purzition after that fumble).

Plus, we only managed to eek out 41 points, instead of the 42 I figured we would. Good on the Hawgz!

(Of course, Corch Miles called a kneel down while we still could have scored another TD, or a feel go, and made me look smart with my 42 point perdiction...but that is now all water under the bridge. I mean, you can't un-ring a bell).

Regardless, the little piglets dun their best. They only lost twice this season. Twice to the #1 team in the nation (even though it was different teams). There ain't no shame in that whatsoever. Of course, they lost big to both teams, but still, there ain't no shame in losing to greatness.

Never!

Y'all don't try to call me for a while.

2011-11-25T08:31:00.000-06:00

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Crud! My dang telephone died. Gotta run to the AT&T store.

On Black Friday.

Crud...

(I hope this is not an omen.)

So, at what point today will Les Miles commence with the kneel downs?

2011-11-25T07:15:00.002-06:00

I shall be wearing my "The Hawgz Suck!" chicken hat today. My 'Bama Sucks! chicken hat seemed to have brought us luck, so I'm not messing with fate.

I'm figuring that with roughly 6:12 left in the 4th quarter, Corch Miles will start the kneel downs, so as not to totally humiliate the stinkin' Hawgz, and completely knock them out of going to a decent (though insignificant) bowl game.

Naw seriously, it's gonna be a good one. We will win convincingly, of course, which is why I say it is going to be a good one! Y'all enjoy!!!

(Editorial note: I had to use a photo from the archives. You can tell, because this one features my old little bitty remote control that Tucker hid half of somewhere, which still hasn't been found...and not my nifty new jumboass remote. I started to take a new picture, but I am feeling poorly, and look like crap...as opposed to how debonaire and suave I was looking when this one was struck. And, being ill, I am pretty sure I should not lift heavy objects.).
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I might as well go on ahead and do this now...

2011-11-23T19:32:00.007-06:00

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I swear, I have been working on a post in my head for Thanksgiving Day ever since the 4th of July. So, I sit down tonight to write it all out, and it's just not right. I just don't have the energy, or passion, or whatever to do it.

Maybe I have overthunk it.

I'm gonna do it, because it needs doing, but not tonight.

I've gotta be at work early tomorrow, and then Thanksgive at Mother in Law's along with all The Mrs.' kinfolks from stinkin' Texas, and stinkin' Arkansas when I get off work.

And, I'm fighting a virus, or something.

Crud.

But, I may as well go on ahead and do this now...

LSU will beat Arkansas by 30 points on Friday.

I am looking at this objectively. I don't see how the Hawgz offense is any better than Corch St. Nick's Tide. In fact, 'Bama whupped 'em (by about 20 or so...not sure, but it was a whuppin'). We gave up 6 purnts in four quarters plus to 'Bama, but they did miss a frew feel goze.

We gave up 3 points to The Klan last week (even though they are not a decent barometer of anything). Our defense has given up something like 7 touchdowns in 11 games We're just good.

I don't see Arkansas scoring any more than 13 points.

On the other side of the ball, I believe we will score 42...a lot of those will be special teams/turnovers/defense set ups, etc. But, the Hawgz gave up points to Ole Miss & Vandy in bunches. I'm pretty sure we'll rack up more than the two weak sisters in the SEC did.

I'm saying LSU 42 - Arkansas 12 (maybe 13).

Y'all have a happy Thanksgiving! Give a love to all y'all's from me, and mine. And don't forget to say grace before you sinfully gluttonize.

Just in time for Christmas gift giving! (#3)

2011-11-22T05:05:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Have I got an idea for you!?!?!?!?

Yep, indeed I do! And, it's not something retarded like a butt-wiping extension wand, or a stupid canine DNA swab test deal. Nope! This is something y'all can give with pride!

It has always been a problem keeping up with the remote control in our living room. There's a couple of reasons. One reason is that the TV up there only gets watched during College Football Season. I don't watch much TV outside of that, and The Mrs. has her nest kinda' built back in our dark mauve bedroom. So, she rarely ever looks at the TV in the living room.

Every once in a while the boys will come visit, and they'll look at a show, or a film on DVD up there (which is usually when the remote control disappears into the couch, or my recliner cushion, or somewhere else). But, the boys were not at fault this time.

Nope, 11 month old Tucker was the culprit this time. On his daily rounds of pilfering the entirety of Andy's Place, it seems that he got hold of the living room TV remote on Thursday. So far, I have found one half of it, and one of the two batteries. I certainly hope he didn't eat the other one...probably didn't, or we'd have known by now.

Anyway, I came in to the market for a new multi-function remote control. Now, I had had my eye on one for a good little while. But, I didn't just want to make an impulse purchase without a real need. But, said "need" had arisen, so I went and got me just what I've been wanting.

I think it would make a great Christmas gift for somebody on your list, too!

It is a chink made "JUMBO UNIVERSAL REMOTE!" I have no idea what brand it is, but it's made in China, so it must be good. And, it controls up to 5 devices, too!

Now, when it says, "JUMBO," they ain't lying! Just for perspective...

Dang, it's big, huh?

I was so excited to finally get me one of these. There is NO WAY the boys are gonna be able to lose this sucker, and I can even use it without having to go find my reading glasses!

And, can you believe that this sucker runs on just two AA batteries? Really! I mean, that's just 3 volts like the little bitty one we only found half of. That has got to be an EnergyStar saver deal, or something.

I'm doing my part.

Man, I like this thing. It has an automatic "Code Search," too, so you don't have to look at that tiny little print on the instructions trying to find out the numeric code to make it work with your particular equipment.

I have a Sanyo (code 139). Not sure what kind of DVD player I have, but it don't matter. "Code Search" will handle it. Those chinks are good.

Anyway, I've got a couple of old geezers like myself on my list that I'm gonna get one of these for this Christmas. And, if you want one, you can get one too.

I bought it at Fred's Super Dollar. They probably have 'em at a Fred's near you, too. And, don't worry about the money. I paid exactly TEN DOLLARS! Really! Just 10 bucks for the ultimate problem-solving universal remote.

Go get yourself one, and one for EVERYBODY over 50 on your list. They'll love you for it.

(I know it ain't good to brag on your personal possessions and all, but every once in a while I make a purchase that I just must show off to y'all.)

"We Hate Arkansas Week" officially cancelled.

2011-11-21T04:59:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! As y'all know, in the run up to LSU's annual showdown with the stinkin' Hawgz of stinkin' Arkansas, we take a little time each day to express just how much we despise the stinkin' Hawgz.

Not so this year.

Don't have the time.

Don't get me wrong. I've got the time to hate stinkin' Arkansas. I just don't have the time to tell y'all about it this year.

Big game on Friday.

A lot on the line.

We shall c.

Sunday Morning Quarterback - Week 12 (We own it)

2011-11-20T12:05:00.138-06:00

Shazaam! We own it!

← (Click it. Nyuk...)

We now OWN Sunday Morning Quarterback. But, as you can see, result #5 (the friggin' New York Daily News) really screwed up my grand plan. I had this great idea to use this GoobleSearch result and make me a video. I was gonna ax Congressperson Corrine Brown to do me a "chant," too!

ONE! Too three fo' fi'. Den Andy pla' don' take no ji'!

Okay, so it ain't Sunday Morning any more.

Unless you're in Hawaii.

Aloha.

Look, anybody that gives a rat's patootie about College Football already knows what happened yesterday. So, for me to waste your valuable time telling you things you already know would be pretty dang selfish on my part.

While it's never stopped me before, it will today. All I need to say about yesterday is that I was wronger than two left shoes about most of the games. Even though we often suck at prognostication here, we are ALWAYS the first to admit our wrongness. This is one of those days.

While I did hint that I thought Oregon would have trouble with the rubbers, I did not really believe they would let a game slip off of them like that. And, the OU/Baylor result...WOW! I was able to catch the last half of the 4th quarter of that game, and I've gotta say that it was probably the most exciting 7 or 8 minutes of ball I've watched this season. And, even though I did it on Basil's blog & not here, I stated with certainty that The Children of the Corn would stomp Big Blue.

Wrong.

And, in an egg on my face moment of the highest yolkiness, I MUST commend The Hawgz. I honestly did not believe that they would destroy MS State like they did. It was definitely their best performance of the season in my book. However, I am certain that they shot their wad, and look forward to their little visit to Louisiana. Let's see...when is that happening? Hmmmm....Oh, it's Friday? Really?

Ya' see...losses by teams like Oklahoma State (which I predicted), The Sooners (which I did not), Oregon, etc. happen for a reason. They happen to reinforce a constant.

National Championships are won by teams with 1) Defense 2) A running game. It's just a fact. None of those teams are championship worthy because they don't have both of those aspects of the (championship) game nailed down. You can score 40 points, and still get beat. And, if you can't run, it becomes almost impossible to pass (if you're playing anybody that is worth warm spit). Happens all the time.

Nyuk! I looked at the box score on my LSU Tigers game against the Klan (a snoozer, as I predicted, btw). LSU threw exactly 8 passes.

8. (We were 8 of 8, btw).

Scored 52 points (and started kneel-downs on the Klan's 1 yard-line...so, it coulda been a lot worse).

Now, I'm not holding that out as a prime example, because it seemed we were playing Oxford Junior High, or something. I mean, OLE MISS REALLY IS THAT BAD. REALLY. But, all of our wins, & Bama's wins (even their one loss) featured excellent smash-mouth defense, and powerful running.

It is how you win championships.

So, what are we left with? 2 teams with stellar defenses, and powerful running games. And, we've got a third in the SEC West that is nearly there.

The ship has been righted. The best two teams in the nation will be back on top this week in the BCS Standings. And, The Hawgz should be close behind 'Bama at #3.

We own it.

The world is as it should be.

I'm happy now.

ONE! Too three fo' fi'. Den Andy pla' don' take no ji'!

Quick question...

2011-11-20T10:17:00.000-06:00

Natural occurance, or Photoshop?

Where we at, and what we got??? (Week #12)

2011-11-19T06:43:00.001-06:00

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(Editorial note: I started writing this post at about 4 pm Friday, but got called away by real life. I just now finished it off at 6:45 am on Saturday. I hate it when that happens.)

Where we at? Well, we are finally at a "stopping place."

Naw, that's not true. We are actually at a place where I just decided to stop.

There is so much junk that needs doing around here. I swear...stuff needs painted, weeds need eating, bulbs need digging, a 700 lb.bathtub & ONE Chevy S-10 pickup truck needs hauling away, and I really, really, really need a bath...

But, I just decided to stop (I WILL get a bath a bit later, though).

Truth is, there are no MAJOR home repairs that need doing right now. I think I may have casually mentioned that I got the kitchen floor in fine shape, and the hallway bathroom back up and running after putting it all off as long as I could, and staying happily married. So, we really are kinda' at a stopping point.

The rest of the junk will be there when I go back to my "single-minded-gotta-get-it-did-male-self." It'll come back around. Always does.

My weekend is screwed up, too. I now have as regular "days off," Friday, and Saturday. But...there is this new guy at work...a guy that I really like a lot. He had a fabulous opportunity to do something on Saturday. I mean, it is REALLY fabulous...kind of a once in a lifetime chance. But, he was scheduled to work on Saturday, and had to find "somebody" that was off on Saturday to swap shifts with him.

Me.

He asked me, and I said "yes." I'm a sucker for such things. So, I've got to go in to work Saturday afternoon, and then turn around and be back at work on Sunday morning.

I'm a sucker for such things.

But, I really don't mind so much. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity for the man. It's very similar to an opportunity that I once had, but passed on. I've got very few regrets in life.

So, what we got?

Tonight, we've got the #2 ranked Okie State 'boys at Iowa State. The Pokies are ripe for a loss. Iowa State will bring down this notion that Oklahoma State deserves to play for the National Title against an SEC team. It will be close, but Iowa State will win. The Cowboys will probably lose to OU, too.

Write this down. Stick it on your 'frigerator door. OSU will not end up in the BS-BCS championship game. It will be LSU & 'Bama.

Speaking of my beloved Tigers...I'll admit, it's been a challenge to get excited about our games the past few days. I mean, after you beat the second best team in the land, and are forced to endure Homecoming against Western Kentucky, and a Conference game against The Klan tomorrow (the worst team in my memory as an SEC watcher). Well...it's just kinda blah blah blah...

But, I've done my best.

I even tried to pump up Tucker! Y'all know Tucker. Tucker is my great nephew that The Mrs. keeps care of (at no charge for 4 or 5 days a week...but I don't care, because he is the sweetest little cat of all the dozens of chirrens we've had around our joint for lo these three plus decades of havin' chirrens around here). I've shown y'all pictures of him before.

He is without a doubt the worlds biggest LSU fan (under one years of age).

It was REALLY easy to get him excited about the games against Oregon, MS State, and 'Bama. But, Tucker kinda balked on me when it came to Flarda & Auburn (because they suck), but he chested up and did his best.

He's a trooper.

But, I could get no such goodness while trying to get him revved up about our game against The Klan tomorrow.

The boy went to sleep with his chin on his foot (I wish I could still do that), with his T-shirt wrapped up like he's in a straight jacket, or something!

I tried. Trust me, I did. But, it's The Klan...the worst football team in the history of the SEC that we're facing tomorrow.

Tucker don't waste his energy.

Obviously.

It will be LSU 50 - Klan 6.

In other games of importance, there will be only one surprise. Mississippi State will beat Arkansas at The Sty in Little Rock. This one will be close, too...maybe go in to overtime. But, the Dogs will prevail in an upset (if you can call it that).

I think Oregon, OU, Clemson, Boysees, and the other top ranked teams will prevail...even though The Ducks are likely to have trouble with their rubbers.

It's gonna be a couple of years before Tucker can do this. But, at early an age as humanly possible, I'm gonnna learn him the fight song.

Look, y'all have a great weekend, huh? I'm gonna be really pounding it, so don't worry about me if I'm not hanging out with y'all much. It don't mean that I don't love y'all.

Because, I do.

Just in time for Christmas gift giving! (#2)

2011-11-16T20:26:00.000-06:00

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Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Nyuk!

As y'all know by now, I am a true fan of The Gooble Mail©. I just love the fact that my ONE inbox can catch all the various mail from personal/business/Daddy's business/extremely private e-mail addresses all in one spot.

I love it.

But, what I don't care much for is the advertisements that The Gooble Mail© throws up there. I mean, it's kinda spooky, really. It's like they have read your computer letters already, and throw ads at you that pertain to what folks have written you about.

I know y'all know what I mean, and most of them don't get a second glance from me. But, today one REALLY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION.

Lookit! (You're gonna have to click on it to see the big picture)

As you can see, my buddy Debbie sent me an e-mail containing a very interesting story about one dog that acts as a "seeing eye dog" for her blind dog friend. It's a really cool story, really.

But, The Gooble Mail© throws in an ad about how you can buy this product that will DNA test your dog, so that you can know what kind of breed your half-breed mutt just might be. And...it just KILLS me! It "makes a great gift for your dog!"

Nyuk!

I'm sure that is absotively true, too. I mean, don't you know that there are thousands (if not millions) of dogs just hammerin' around the yard...marking trees, chasing butterflies, lickin' their butts, eatin' their own dried up crap...I mean, just seemingly happy as clams.

But, deep inside they are struggling...I mean, suffering horribly because they don't really know their heritage. Sure, they try hard to ACT LIKE they are perfectly content with a belly-rub & a game of fetch the tennis ball...

But, it's all an act. They are miserable. I mean, unless you're a pet ~~owner~~ guardian like me that has Sadie's AKC Registration papers framed, and prominently displayed where she can see it, your dog is likely to be suffering trauma due to the fact that they're just not really sure who they Daddy folks iz...or, they Mama, too!

You can solve all this. It would make "a great gift for your dog."

Heck, I think you owe it to 'em to get you one of these DNA swab kits, so they can finally put to rest all their doubts, and begin to walk in their true identity.

I couldn't help myself...I had to chase the link. And, I'm so, so, way glad that I did.

Look, you can even "Host Your Own Swab-A-Thon!"

Now, I don't know about y'all, but that sounds like a helluva good time to me! I mean, you can gather up all the neighbors dogs, all the strays that just roam the 'hood crapping in your yard & chasing meter-readers & scaring the crud out of little kids trying to play on the sidewalk...and host you a "Swab-A-Thon."

You can probably improve your neighborhood by at least 175%, just by helping all these mutts figure out exactly what breed of useless they generated off of!

Do it for the chirrens!

I did find the site pretty interesting...they even gots a video at the bottom explaining why it's a really great idea to DNA swab your dog for breed mixture. So, while you're pondering what to give your pooch for Christmas, y'all might want to keep this "gift" idea in mind.

BTW, as far as I can tell there ain't nothing in there about child support...

Sometimes, there's just nothing better on TV to look at...

2011-11-14T20:32:00.000-06:00

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So, I decided to look at NFL Monday Night Football. Yeah...there was some other junk on, but even though I'm not an NFL watcher, I've been somewhat fascinated by The Green Bay Packers, and their dominance of all things pro football.

So, while flipping past channels, I see that they are playing against the vikings. So, I take a gander for a minute, and see that the vikings have Percy Harvin on their team.

Then the light bulb switched on. I remember when Harvin & Timbow dismantled the Southeast Conference...and pretty well humiliated the rest of the NCAA behind their dominance.

But, that wasn't what I was so much thinking about.

I was thinking about that fabulous tribute to them a couple of years back by Congressperson/Congresswoman/Gentleman/Gentlelady/Whatever Corrine Brown on the floor of the US How of Repuhzenutiv.

(It took all of 9 seconds to locate it on The YouTube.)

Corch Irvin Mayas really did corch a remarkable group of guys! But, when you've got Tim Tivo & Percy Harvey...

Well...you just don't take no jive.

Just a note to all y'all poll voters that feel like you MUST vote for Boise week in and week out, because they remain undefeated...

2011-11-12T18:28:00.000-06:00

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And, another note to all y'all Boise fans that whine and cry because y'all can't never get into the national championship because the deck is stacked against y'all, even though y'all really KNOW deep inside that you'd never stand up week after week to real competition.

Well...

Y'all are all off the hook! Nyuk!!!

An afterthought or three...

2011-11-12T15:00:00.001-06:00

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1) So, it seems that I was WAY wrong in calling an upset by Texas Tech over the Okie Pokies. I have never called three upsets without at least one of them coming to pass. This means that either Luck runs out, or the Boysies go down.

I'm thinking that I'm gonna hit 2 out of 3...which ain't bad.

Just ask Rick Perry.

B) I forgot to mention that it is "Homecoming" in Baton Rouge, and my beloved Tigers play Western Kentucky in Death Valley. Dangit!!! It's Homecoming! We shoulda' scheduled somebody easy like The Klan, or The Hawgz...

Or The Ducks, or Cardinal (whatever the heck that is), or maybe even a real easy team from Flarda (take your pick), or ANY team from Texas.

Crud.

But, I think we'll win, anyway.

3) Dangit! I can't remember the third thing I was gonna tell y'all as an "afterthought." I knew it before I sat down to type it out. It had something to do with something that was REALLY important that y'all really needed to know about.

Hmmm...

Crud.

Now I know how Rick Perry felt the other night.

Where we at, and what we got??? (Week #11)

2011-11-12T06:25:00.002-06:00

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Hey y'all! We at home, and are definitely wrapping some things up.

What was THIS on October 8...

Is now THIS on November 12...

Yep! New faucet installed (and it works and don't leak, too), and TILE JOB DID!!!

And, it only took a little over a month.

Well, it's not completely finished. We still gotta DAP, and do a major clean-up on the 1948 model tub itself. But, I can see the finish line. Hallelujah!

And, for the first time in many, many years, we'll have water coming out of the shower head like it's supposed to!

See, I told y'all the tile was all trimmed out in black. I think some of y'all doubted me. Shame on y'all!

Now, I've got to deal with covering up my fancy access to the rear of this near disaster...

Like I said when this whole mess started, I think I'll cut me a piece of cardboard and color it yellow.

I've gotta think on that a while...

So, what we got?

We don't have a big line-up of important games like last weekend. But, I guess there are a few. I'm calling upsets again.

As usual.

Tuberville Tech upsots the 'Boys from Stillwater. TT 92 - Okie State 90.

Oregon beats Stanford in Tall Stick. Oregon 3 - Stanford 2

TCU beats Boise in front of their home crowd of whiny, "we should be #1" fans. Frogs 34 - Boysies 24.

That's all. Everybody else that's supposed to win will win. Sorry, if I can't call an upset for your sucky team to do better. I just can't!

Y'all enjoy the games, and have a great what's left of your weekend!

SALUTE!

2011-11-11T07:56:00.000-06:00

As a guy that never wore the uniform (one of the few regrets I have in life), I can't really express how much I appreciate those that did...and do. I've had Grandpas, Great Uncles, Cousins, and dear friends that have served.

I've got one son currently serving in Kandahar. And, another that could be called up at any time.

Heck, I think about 100% of y'all that regularly visit Andy's Place have either served, or have had parents, or young'uns currently in harms way. A big "THANKEE" goes out to you all...and to your folks & chirrens.

Seriously. I mean it.

If you've hung out around my joint for very long, you've already seen this video. I'm pretty sure I've posted it at least 3 times on Veterans Day.

I looked at it again. It's still really, really good.

God bless them...one, and all.

One last chance to use this picture...

2011-11-10T16:36:00.000-06:00

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It has served me well. But, allass, this'll probably be the last time I can use it.

You go, Joe!

Crud.

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No they DIDN'T!!! Really?

2011-11-09T15:32:00.003-06:00

Parents can be cruel. Without any thought for how it will impact their children in their adult years, they will often give them names that seem pretty cool at the time.

We've pretty well stuck with "safe." Dean, Ross, Phillip, Paul....pretty much names that a 30 or 40-something male should get no snickers from.

But, I swear, the Shauaandraleekas, and Demarkavi, and Noshawn crowd are hexed. But, it ain't just black folks. And, it's not just a modern phenomenon.

My Mom swears that she went to school in the first grade in Laurel, Mississippi with a boy named "Graham Cracker." And, I once met a guy named "Peter Principal." (That one's not all that bad, really)

I'm sure I've known other folks with odd names, but I just can't think of them right now. Maybe I will as the evening wears on....and I'll drop 'em in the comments.

What about you? Who have you known that got cursed by their Mama & Daddy with a really odd name? I'd like to read them. I mean, this probably won't be as much fun as when we all figured out our "stripper stage name," (btw, that is STILL the most "hit" post here at Andy's Place...sometimes in the thousands per week. It's the pitcher, I'm sure) but I'm curious.

I got a suggestion for Penn State...

2011-11-09T04:58:00.000-06:00

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Houston Nutt's available.

It was a grand Sattidy!

2011-11-06T10:59:00.000-06:00

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(Once again, I'm writing this on my break, so y'all gonna have to read quick)

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Man, Saturday was just about the most productive and enjoyable day that I've had in a coon's age.

As y'all know, I have had that re-tiling job in the shower staring me in the face for dang near a month. I had done a little bit along, but really just kinda shoved it to the bottom of the priority list. But, it needed to get did, so when I woke up early Saturday, I tore in to it.

Well, lookit!

Okay, it's not finished by any stretch, but I am making some headway finally. Before you ask, those are indeed screws supporting some of the tiles.

Don't ask.

I swear, that was the most uneven wall I think in the history of construction. There were some spots where I had to build up with mortar as much as 3/4". Maybe more. And I'll swear, I liked to never got them holes cut out for the valves & spout. Tore up my dang pocket knife, too.

And jeepers, I'll tell y'all what...that mortar/grout mix product that we bought has to be the slowest drying junk in the history of slow drying junk. I swear, I don't think I'll be able to grout that job out until around Thanksgiving.

But hey, what's the hurry, huh?

Then, after everybody got around, we all busted off to the State Fair of Louisiana about 9:30.

I had told y'all last year that my employer has an employee appreciation day at The State Fair. And, believe you me...that'll save you some serious coins. Free parking, free rides, and a free somewhat edible lunch! (Well, I DO work for a hospital, after all)

Now, some of y'all long-time visitors to Andy's Place might recognize these pictures from last year's State Fair post. Yep...I stolden 'em off myself, because I forgot to bring the camera. But, it don't matter. This year's State Fair Day was a carbon copy of last year...glorious weather...good fun with The Mrs. & #4 son...and the Malone's State Fair Taffy is still only $9 a box.

There is me & #4 son on the "Full Tilt!" (Of course, that was last year...not yesterday...but it'll still make you vomit if you eat ahead of it).

But oooooooohhhhhh, I got scared! Not on a ride, mind you...at the little free Circus Tent show they have. It was a pretty good circus...acrobats, a quick-change artist couple from Vegas...trained camels & horses...the gal that hangs from the roof on a hula-hoop, etc.

But, the grand finale' is one of those steel motorcycle cage ball deals. You know what I'm talking about...where first one guy gets in there and rides all sideways & upside down. And, then another guy gets in there (this thing ain't very big, mind you), and they spin around barely missing each other, and cheating certain death & all. Well, that wasn't way too much scarry. But what came next was.

This blonde chick (I guess they had to find a blonde to talk into it) gets up in that cage ball & stands right in the middle of it, while those guys fire up the bikes & go flying around her at breakneck speed, upside down & all around & all...just barely missing her for what seemed like an eternity.

And, the blonde chick is smiling and "high-fiving" 'em as they're spinning. I swear, it took my breath away. All I could think was, "Here I am, sitting with my 15 year-old son (that has difficulties, as y'all know), watching this...and one little slip...some mechanical failure...one mental glitch...and an image might get burned in his mind that he will never escape for his whole lifetime." It was scarry.

But, they didn't kill her. One more blonde survived immense stupidity.

Anyway, it was a glorious morning. We got back home about 3:00 pm & worked on our own business for a couple of hours...kicked back and watched a little college ball.

Ooooooooohhhhhh! Did y'all hear that the Arkansas Hawgz embarrassed the Head Ball Corch's Cocks?

Nyuk!

I despise Spurrier.

Thank you, Hawgz.

And then, there was a later game between Okie State & KS State...which sucked. I swear, I can not remember a Top Ten football team with a worse defense than The Cowboys. I finally switched channels and found something else to look at.

And to top off the glory of the whole day, I got an extra hour of sleep! (Y'all did remember to set y'all's clocks back, didn't y'all?)

Well, that's how my Saturday went. It was just grand!

Lookit, my break is over, and I owe "the man" honest work for honest pay, so let me go. Y'all have a great what's left of the weekend.

I love y'all!

"Why Andy, you have been uncharacteristically silent on the National Championship game tomorrow between LSU and Alabama!"

2011-11-04T16:10:00.002-05:00

Indeed I have. And, thanks for bringing it up!

Truth is, I've had so much on my mind, and on my plate, that I haven't much cared to blog about what might turn out to be the best College Football Game of this century (to this point).

I'm like, "Meh...it's just a football game...somebody's gonna win...somebody's gonna lose...and others can load up the hype cannon better."

Meh...it's just a football game.

Which, LSU will win.

But, to take a stab at it:

In recent memory (at least in MY memory) there has not been a matchup between two better college football TEAMS (TEAMS being the operative consonants and vowels).

Seriously, from top to bottom...offense...defense...special teams...speed...toughness...on-field discipline, etc., I can't remember two teams facing each other that had it more "together."

It should be a gem.

Trying to put my passion for LSU aside, and look at this game objectively, I find that it IS possible. I have misunderstimated my beloved Tigers every game this season. I'd predict a 20 point win, and it would be 40. I'd predict a tough 7 pointer that turned out to be 30.

We're just good.

And, so are they.

Alabama Corch, St. Nick Saban, will go down in history as a builder of programs, and a builder of men. I've always been a Saban fan...even when he left LSU for a cup of coffee with the Dolphins, and resurfaced to rebuild the once great Tide program...which he has certainly done (and, in spades).

Now, many LSU fans have resorted to Saban-bashing...trash-talking, etc. Here at Andy's Place we do not stoop to such things.

As you can see, Corch St. Nick has a deep affection for his players and that affection is returned.

He's a builder of men.

As to the 'Bama fans...nyuk...

I guess my opinion of the intellect, and mindset of 'Bama fans could be summed up in the words of Lewis Grizzard's (may God rest his soul) "...that dog would bite you" routine. (If you're not familiar with the routine, you can YouTube it, or GoobleSearch it...it's worth the trouble).

Short of it is that we're going in to 'Bama's home stadium with the best LSU team in history. We're facing probably the best 'Bama team in history (and that's saying something) in their house...which is likely to be the most hostile environment that any of our squad has EVER faced.

It will be a spiritual, mental, physical, and corching battle.

And, we'll win. I was gonna say by 4...but since I've misunderstimated my Tigers all season, I'll say by 16. Probably LSU 30 - 'Bama 14. The big spread in points will have nothing to do with us playing that much better than them. There will be a mental breakdown or two by 'Bama that gives us some gimmes.

'Bama will walk away thinking that they shoulda/coulda/oughta won.

And, my beloved Tigers will walk away knowing that they did.

That's all.

Y'all enjoy the games! We're going to the Louisiana State Fair tomorrow morning (because my employer sends us for free), but we'll be back home in time to witness it all.

"Hype" often doesn't match reality. I don't expect it to go down that way tomorrow.

Be there, or be square.

Local blogger peels back the Jindal facade on "American Thinker."

2011-11-01T04:47:00.000-05:00

.

Many of my blog buddies around the nation have questioned me as to why I am less than thrilled with my goober, Bobby Jindal.

Jindal has been touted by Limbaugh, Hannity, and a gaggle of conservative pundits & publications as one of the true, rock-ribbed conservatives coming along to lead the Republican Party to conservative greatness. Nationally, you will hear (and read) nothing but high praise for our great "reform governor," Bobby Jindal.

It's really mostly a sham.

Today, the American Thinker blog features northwest Louisiana blogger Pat Austin, as she takes apart a good little chunk of the myth. There is more, really. Much more. But, Pat throws enough "fact" at the fudging to hopefully open some national eyes. And prayerfully, to get Bobby to straighten up and do what we hired him to do in the first place...to go beat the snot out of the folks in Baton Rouge that have kept us at the bottom forever, and not play their silly, destructive games.

Congratulations, Pat. And, excellent work!

BTW, Pat's blog is parked here.

It must be "PICTURE DAY!"

2011-11-01T04:33:00.000-05:00

I swear, from the time that I was about 11 years old through my Senior Year in High School, it NEVER failed. On "picture day," I would wake up and discover an enormous zit on my face.

I mean...massive!

Sometimes it would be above one eye or the other. Most often it would be on my left cheek. Heck, one year it surfaced as a "cyclops" kinda deal right between my eyes. I think I was a sophomore. Not sure.

Now, I'm not just talking your normal, run of the mill zit. No, "picture day zit" would always be one of those "quarter-sized" deals that was real red around the edges, and all swelled up and puffy-white in the middle. I mean, the kind of zit that made it look like you were really trying hard to have one.

And, I learned pretty quick that if you tried to squeeze "picture day zit," it only got bigger, and redder, and more grotesque to the naked eye (and camera lens).

It's true. Every stinkin' yearbook picture of me sports "picture day zit."

Sometimes, just for kicks, The Mrs. will pull out my old yearbooks...she'll thumb through, and yell out (while laughing hysterically), "Hey Andy! Come look at 'zit-boy'!!!"

It's reeeeel funny!

Well, dangit! This morning I woke up and was forced to look at "picture day zit" once again. Really.

52 stinkin' years old, and "picture day zit" comes back to screw with me again!

Crud.

And, good ol' "picture day zit" just happens to have made it's home right on the bridge of my nose. Jeepers! The most prominent, attention-getting, ugly part of my face...my big old ugly nose...

Crud.

I swear...I just know that when I get to work, and open up my intranet e-mail there's gonna be some surprise announcement about a new "company pictorial directory," and I'll be required to show up and get my picture struck for it today.

I just know it...

I might call in sick.

Naw. That would be the pansy way out. Plus, it's probably not gonna happen. But, I'm still gonna look retarded walking around with this big old zit on my big old ugly nose.

Crud...

52 stinkin' years old. With a big old zit on my big old ugly nose.

Crud...

52! Stinkin'! Years! Old!

with a picture day zit...

crud.

Zit-boy.

Nyuk...(slightly modified from a computer letter funny from Dr. Jill)

2011-10-31T19:55:00.000-05:00

.

86 year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at THE HOME.

She runs up to a card table where four old men are playing dominoes with her fist clenched. She shouts out to them, "Any one of you that can guess what I've got in my hand can have sex with me tonight."

One old man looks up and says, "An elephant."

With a big smile on her face, Bessie says, "Close enough."

Hey y'all...

2011-10-31T04:47:00.000-05:00

BOO!!!

The idea came from Buck, but I couldn't figure out how to use that dealie so I went with Microsoft Paint as usual.

I suck.

Happy Halloweems, y'all. Hope y'all get enough candy to completely rot your teeth out!!!

Just in time for Christmas gift giving!

2011-10-30T16:28:00.006-05:00

We get catalogs! We get catalogs! We get catalogs eeeeeevry stinkin' day!

I don't know about y'all, but we get catalogs in our snail-mail box every stinkin' day of the world (except on Sunday, thank you Jesus).

I really don't know why we get "sale" catalogs. We never buy the junk. But, they keep on sending 'em to us, so I reckon enough folks do to make it profitable for the catalog bombarders.

So, a couple of days ago, The Mrs. just busted out laughing, and hollered at me, "Andy...somebody we know MUST NEED this! It's from The Walter Drake 'Holiday Sale' catalog, and I know it will make the perfect Christmas gift!!!"

When I looked at it, I knew she was right. I mean, this is the gift for that one on your list that has "everything."

I mean, everything except arms long enough to reach their butt crack!

And, it's ON SALE, too!

I swear, I thought of that idea about 25 years ago.

But.

Never.

Followed.

Through.

The story of my life...

Crud.

Well, it seems that you can also order one for that special short-armed rotundo on your list on the computer at:

www.wdrake.com/mostretardedasswipingideainthehistoryofasswiping.

Be blessed, y'all!