I got this computer letter from an old North Carolina Tarheel buddy of mine (he's not a redneck). I really liked it. Since I'm burned out on politics, Obama Overload, and poll watching, I figured I'd just pass it on to y'all.
I remember the first time I ever went to a shopping mall. I was 8 years old, and visiting Charlotte, NC (actually Monroe, NC). My beloved Great Uncle Ed Austin (my beloved Granddaddy's brother...he's still living, and has been married to Aunt Reba for over 60 years) took us to a big old indoor shopping center in Charlotte where they had about 80 stores under one roof. It was pretty cool for a small-town boy.
I don't want to tip this one off, but those Arkies are really ignorant! Even I know a escalator when I see one!
A redneck family from the hills of Arkansas was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives.
The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'Paw, what's at?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I dunno.
I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is.
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button.
The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24year-old
blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son,
Boy.................go gitcha momma' .
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Don't cuss nobody out, okay?