Friday, December 4, 2009

Friday afternoon junk...

Hi y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

The forecast for Bossier City, LA tonight is "25 degrees (F), with sleet, and snow" dangit! This is stinkin' Northwest Louisiana, dangit! If I wanted to ski & die from frostbite, I'd move back to Colorado. Dangit!

Have I ever mentioned that I HATE cold weather?

So, let's make the best of a bad situation. In my 50 years of maintaining this blog, I have not once ran a poll. So, I'm a true "newbie." But, I must say that my very first poll, "Have you ever had an affair with Tiger Woods" was a rousing success. The results were quite interesting.

It seems that a few visitors to Andy's place actually have had sex with the living legend...and you know who you are. Perhaps in the future, I'll post a poll asking whether he is "as advertised," or not. I'll study on that one.

The poll also revealed quite a bit about those that visit Andy's Place. It seems that we have an inordinate number of homos, and lesbos (one of which would gladly switch-hit for a crack at The Tig'...and, you know you you are) that visit Andy's Place. This is a gratifying revelation! I certainly hope that I've always made it plain that "everyone is welcome...unless you're an idiot." Now, I've gotta figure out whether my work is just "way gay," or what...

Ain't it a pain? Every answer poses another question, but I digress. It also seems that someone has the chubby for the lovely, club-swinging, Mrs. Woods. Completely understandable.

And, it seems that two of our loyal readers "may have" laid hold of Tiger's Titleist, and coaxed it all the way up the fairway into the cup...yet they are too coy to say "Yep," or "Nope." We're all adults here (well y'all are all adults anyway), and you can just report frankly, for heaven's sake... Regardless, I appreciate the wussified participation of you two, for what it was worth.

We also have one visitor that obviously is a RACIST, who can't abide a little "cream in the coffee." Well, I won't call you a RACIST. You are probably like me, and just don't like negroes.

And, it seems that several of you screwed Tiger before he jumped the broom...NO, THAT DOES NOT COUNT AS AN AFFAIR! Being a true "poll newbie,"I did not specify "extramarital affair." I promise I'll do mo' better next time, so that we will have better statistical data from which to draw conclusions.

So, in this wildly popular poll, we discover that 3% of everyone that has internet access has had an affair with Tiger. By extrapolating our raw data, I will say with scientific certainty that Tiger has had affairs with something in the neighborhood of...oh, I don't know...maybe 48,000,000 women. Run the numbers makes just about as much sense as the junk that comes out of the Brit CRU. So, that's my conclusion, and I'm standing by it. Tiger is a real horndog! The statistical evidence can not be denied.

Once again, thanks to all who participated. Your love is not unappreciated. You can click on the poll to see the results. If you care. You probably don't...

Speaking of college football, I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised last night. Normally, any Pac-10 football game is enough to make me wish that Obama was addressing the nation. But, I'll admit as an SEC homer that I truly enjoyed watching the Oregon/Oregon State ball game last night. Congratulations to the Ducks. Quack! I'm sorry, I still have trouble understanding what in the heck they were thinking when they named their team after an ugly, flat-footed bird. But then again, it's probably better than being named after a Rubber, or a Beaver. Just sayin'...

So, big ol' attaboys to the Rosy Quackers, and especially to our resident Quacker, Paul the Fireguy! I had already picked Oregon to beat State, but Paul had in a previous comment written:

"I'm gonna do a first: Ducks, 45-37. Never done that before, but they're playing at home and have had a great season. The only other thing I have to say is: QUACK QUACK!!"

Pretty dang close! I am thinking about offering Paul the Fireguy a job as official "Andy's Place" game picker throughout the Bowl season. Obviously, somebody has a "clue" about college football. Have I mentioned that this season has proven to me that I don't know jack about it anymore?

Speaking of College Football...

MUD has a great story about college corchin'...

Stuff I stole today:

Speaking of College Football...

Charlie Weis cleans out his desk at Notre Dame

And finally, junk from the computer letter box:

This is not for tender eyes, and was sent to me by someone who would probably prefer to not be identified. I'm not sure, but I'll just assume so. If you want to take credit for it, go ahead and do it in the "comments." But I'll never "out 'ya!" Quack!

The computer letter is titled: Anti-Carjacking Device

One size fits all and you can move this device from one vehicle to another on a moments notice! And it keeps getting better! You can have this state of the art anti-carjacking device for not $99.95, not $79.95, not even $29.95.

This new device is being offered for FREE!

It's incredible but true! No one has ever stolen a vehicle equipped with one of our State of the Art, Anti-Carjacking devices. Don't delay! Get yours today !!!!!!

Well, that's all I got! The danged snow is starting to fall outside my office window, dangit! This is stinkin' Northwest Louisiana. Crud...


  1. Heh. I checked the poll results earlier today and was semi-amazed. I think you might have a reader or two prone to stretching the truth. But only jes a lil bit.

    Other than that... I watched The Civil War last night, too. It was a great game. Unfortunately for Duck fans... I think that crappy lil school with the over-inflated ego south of Dee-troit (Toledo, is it?) is gonna eat their lunch. "The" Ohio State University. Heh. As if we might have been confused... I'll be pulling for the Ducks, coz I hate them Chuck-Eyes.

  2. Buck, as you probably know by now, my #2 son is a Columbusian, and a huge bush fan...truly an LSU apostate. (I don't know where it went wrong)

    Therefore, it is incumbent upon me to always trash the, um....well, I can't say it, but it starts with 'F', has 3 more letters following, and ends with "eyes."

    The Rose Bowl may end in a forfeit. The roster of tOSU may not even find their way to the short buses, to be carried to the Trailways be carted onto that big old bus with a bathroom, for they big trip way out to the nation of California.

  3. Yes, but the question remains....

    Have she and Tiger made the beast with two backs?

  4. Aaaah! Othello! We have a studied visitor. Did you know that that expression actually predates Shakespeare in literature.

    I reckon he picked it up and ran with it. If you can name the somebody who used it before Shakespeare, I'll give you a free entrance coupon to the Drudge Report website.

  5. Andy, followed/stalked you over here from Buck's place. I'm an LSU grad('66) and ex-Air Force fighter pilot now retired and living in New Orleans and Marina del Rey Calif (I'm BI--coastal that is ) Got my MA AT USL (REFUSE to call it U-la-la) and turned traitor and went to Tulane for my PhD. (Seen on toilet stall circa 1962 at LSU: "Flush the toilet, Tulane needs the water."lol) Great little video you created. I've book-marked you--so will be back--unfortunately for you--with my demented mind every so often.



Don't cuss nobody out, okay?