Thursday, April 22, 2010

"THE" Earth Day!

Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

I don't know about y'all, but I'm so excited I"m about to tinkle!

And we all know why...because it is finally "The" Earth Day!

What did I just say?  What day is it?

 See, it's April 22.  "The" Earth Day!

Yep!  This is "the" day that we set aside to be especially kind to the Earth, and make certain that EVERYBODY knows that we have observed the day, honored our planet, and other junk like that.

Hey, y'all know that this is a "special holiday" here in the US.  Has anybody heard if North Korea has launched a test missile yet?

Now, I don't want y'all to be confused about this, so I'm gonna go slow.  This is not...I repeat...IS. NOT. the same as The Earth Hour!

See, it's a whole different thing!

"The" Earth Day is much more important.  I mean, it's like...oh, I don't know...maybe 24 times more important, or something!

This is not one of those "fair weather Greenies" holidays.  Nope!  Turning your lights off for one hour tonight just ain't gonna cut it!  You're gonna have to go the whole banana today.

Just as a side note, when I was "live blogging" The Earth Hour on March 27 of this year, I was watching my blog stats.  You'd be amazed at how many The Gooble Searchers were hitting  Andy's Place searching for serious information about The Earth Hour.  Nyuk...

A couple of morons were searching for "what time is earth hour in California?," or " St. Louis?"  Idiots... It's the same freakin' time as it is everywhere else!  8:30 to 9:30 PM, local timeLocal!  That means where you are currently at!  But, I digress.

Oh heck, I forgot to show y'all how some of our blog buddies celebrated The Earth Hour.  I'm sorry.  This fellow here lives in the Pacific Time Zone...

Nyuk!  running the cars was a nice touch...I never woulda' thunk of that.

This submission comes from the Central Time Zone.

Heh!  A The Earth Hour collage!

So, I've been pondering just how to celebrate The Earth Day.  I'm hoping that I trap a squirrel today in my The Havahart squirrel trap.  If I do, I'm not gonna make the drive down to the river to turn it loose like I've been doing.  Nope, I'm gonna reduce my carbon footprint to almost nothing today.  I'm just gonna drop the trap in a trash can full of water like Paul Mitchell advised.  Then, I'm gonna throw the little drowned bastard over the fence to my son's Golden Retriever, Jake, to play with.

I mean, dogs celebrate The Earth Day too, don't they?  Well, sure they do!  If I catch two, I'll go ahead on and drown one for Sadie, too.  But, she's not a little kid doggie like Jake is, so we'll give him first crack...ya' know, kinda like little kids get stockings at Christmas, and adults don't.

I was thinking about mowing the grass, but the Earth might get pissed at me for giving it a haircut on the special day.  Plus, my mower uses gasoline & emits a tremendous amount of pollution.  Sigh.

Maybe I'll wash my car.  Nah...I'd have to push it down to the car wash and back so as not to pollute the Earth on its' birthday.  Hey, I could wash it in the driveway!  Naw...all that commercial soapy water would end up in the storm drains and pollute the ground water (the life-blood of The Earth).


I guess I'll just sit here and read blog posts.  Yep!  That's what I'll do.  Just read blog posts in the dark.  Might even leave a comment, or two.  Yep...

Couldn't you just beat the snot out of that smug pug?


  1. Looks like Ol' Al hasn't missed any meals of late. His real footprints prolly rival his carbon footprint for breadth and depth.

  2. That's very unsportsmanlike to drown the squirrel. I would just break his little hind legs to give Jake an advantage and he could have the pleasure of the hunt . .

  3. Jim, do you use a hammer, or channel-lock pliers?

  4. I would use a small ball-peen hammer, don't want to crush them, that would be cruel.

  5. Small ball-peen hammer. Check.

  6. And by the way, on that collage picture - that sure is a couple of purty chirrens on that laptop . .

  7. Jim, I commend you for noticing! They certainly are just adorable.

    It's just a shame that their cherubic images were hijacked by some evil, earth-hating monster, who disobeyed The Goracle.

    A shame, indeed...

  8. Guess I'm just a crotchety, mean-spirited ol' conservative. I didn't celebrate Earf Day. I didn't pay homage to the orb on which I live, breath, sleep, eat, shower, sh**, and leave a carbon footprint.

    My bad.

    My worse, 'cuz I don't pay homage to fraudulent celebrations created by libtards on Murders' Row. But if you makes you feel better, I think Che Guevera blows goats, too.


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?