My Baby Brother...

...told me this story this afternoon.

My buddy Chris and his wife were supposed to go to a Halloween Party thrown by one of his friends. As it came close to time to get ready to go, his wife was laying on the couch with a headache...she obviously did not want to go. Chris was a little disappointed, because he had bought a Lone Ranger costume, which he had modeled for her. He had told his wife, Amy, to get a costume, too.

She had dutifully bought one, but had thrown it in the back of the closet without showing it to him (obviously planning to have a headache on Halloween).

Chris said to Amy, "Sweetheart, I know you don't feel good. I'll just go to the party alone. I have to go. Al will be expecting us, and I at least need to make an appearance." So, Chris donned his costume and left for the big party at Al's house.

As Amy thought about it, she realized that she should have gone with Chris. But an even more interesting, and sinister thought came to her mind. She thought, "I wonder what Chris would be like at a party without me?" So, Amy put on her very sexy witch costume (and witch makeup), jumped in the SUV, and headed off to Al's party.

When she arrived, she saw Chris (clad in his Lone Ranger costume) sitting in the corner. He was surrounded by three voluptuous chicks that were obviously flirting with him. And, he was soaking it all in...really soaking it in. So, she decided to break it all up. She approached the corner, and did a double-doozie sex-up, which finally broke the spirit of the other three chicks.

After what could be described as visible porn moves on Amy's part, the two headed out to the SUV, and made mad, passionate love.

After what could be described as a sexual "mini-marathon," Amy gathered herself, and pushed the Lone Ranger out of the car. Then she sped off back home, undressed, and went to sleep.

Several hours later, Chris arrived back home. He found Amy naked, and asleep in bed. As he slipped into bed, Amy roused and said, "Hi fella! Did you have a good time at the Halloween Party?"

Chris replied, "No, not really." Amy was a little hurt, and asked, "Well, why not?"

Chris said, "It was the most boring party I have ever been to. In fact, me, Al, Glenn, and Jeff went back in the bedroom and played cards for hours until everybody left."

Amy now began to get really ticked off, but before she could say anything else, he said, "Yeah, it was a boring party...but that guy that borrowed my costume told us that he had one helluva good time!"

"Cao-ard?"

Much is likely to be made in the right wing blogosphere over the next few days about the lone Republican that voted for PelosiCare in the US House of Representatives last night. Louisiana Representative Ahn Joseph Cao (LA-2) cast the only "yea" Republican vote to pass this monstrosity.

Now, I am never one to defend a Republican that can so blatantly turn his back on conservative principles, and side with Pelosi/Obama on anything. So, I will not defend Cao's vote. However, I will take this opportunity to play "devil's advocate," and provide some food for thought to our ever expanding group of readers (all the way up to 12 now...yay!)

It seems that Michelle Malkin has already fired at Cao. And that's cool. That's fine. But Michelle asks the question, "Can't the GOP do better?"

The answer to that is, "No, Michelle, the GOP can not do better...at least not in LA-2."

Lemme give y'all readers a reminder of recent history. LA-2 is the only liberal district in Louisiana...and one of the most liberal (and ignorant) in the nation. It is the District that continued to elect William "Cold Cash" Jefferson...even after his federal investigation had been made public. It is the district that would have done so again, had it not been for an act of God.

As Hurricane Gustav approached Louisiana in early September of 2008, Governor Bobby Jindal, under advice of Secretary of State Jay Dardienne, canceled the Congressional Primary elections across the State. LA-2 would vote in Primary Elections on the date of the Presidential election, and then vote in a special general election for Congress one month later.

On Obama's big day in November, Congressman William Jefferson won a massive Democrat primary victory...spurred by huge black turnout (and ACORN shenanigans) in New Orleans. The fact is that one month later, when the general election was held, tens of thousands of Obama voters had forgotten their way to the polls...and multiple other thousands thought Jefferson had already won! Such is the make-up of the voters of LA-2.

On election night, Dr. Ahn Joseph Cao (actually pronounced "Gow") took the seat from Jefferson by a slim margin...less than two thousand votes. The truth is that Cao's election was a fluke. I said as much at a time of great rejoicing among Republicans over winning this seat. Cao is likely a "one term" Congressman.

Now, the "devil's advocate" part of the deal. I have two propositions.

1) Cao had taken the measure of his constituents, and realized that the vast majority support Obamacare.

Knowing this, and as their Representative, he made a vote that he did not want to...at the same time, cutting some deal with BozO to benefit his District.

Or, more likely...

2) Having counted noses, and knowing that this was going to pass, the Republican leadership gave him the green light.

Look, this seat is going to be almost impossible to hang on to in 2010. The only chance Cao has of going past one term is to walk the tight-rope. Cao MUST seem Obama-friendly enough, or else!

The Republican leadership knows this. I have no special knowledge of the workings of the Republican leadership. But, it would not surprise me if they released Cao to cut his best deal, knowing that down the road on other issues he can be counted on. Taxes, Energy, Social policy favorites, etc.

Just some food to chew on as you hear Cao impaled in the days and weeks to come.

Sunday Morning Quarterback...(Week 10)

Well kiddies, it was a beautiful day for football across the nation yesterday. I think. But, I really didn't notice.

As you probably know by now, my beloved LSU Tigers went down in defeat to St. Nick, & his elephants. Sigh. But, I choose to find the needle in the haystack, er, the diamond in the dookie.

Saturday's games convinced me of one thing. LSU is the 4th best team in college football. Sure, by falling to 7-2, we will likely drop out of the top 10, and probably miss a BCS Bowl. But, should my Tigers "win out," I believe that we will be the only two-loss team in the nation whose losses came against #1 ranked teams (either currently, or previously in the season).

We will be the only two loss team to lose to "undefeateds." Certainly, I was disappointed in the play of my Tigers. Hey, when you go into Tuscaloosa, facing an elite team like 'Bama, you had better bring your A+ game. It was not so on Saturday. The homers are all over the LSU blogs whining about the "missed calls," and the"cheap shots," and "if we'd have had Jefferson in there..." yada yada yada...

Shut up! It's FOOTBALL! In the course of 12 games, crap is gonna happen. Crap is gonna happen to you...and to your opponent. (think Georgia & excessive celebration). It was a whipping, and I give my kudos to 'Bama. They certainly are one of the three best teams in the nation.

I take consolation in the fact that we lost to 'Bama. Heck, it's not like we lost to Northwestern, or Navy, or Nebraska, or Stanford, or Ohio State...or almost lost to Connecticut, or almost lost to Arizona State, or had to beat Wake Forest in OT...

Heck, we're talking 'Bama...in their house...injured. I guaran-dang-tee ya' that healthy, on a neutral field, we beat anybody in the country, except for those top three teams. Any poll that emerges showing TCU, or Boise, or Cincinnati, or USC, or Georgia Tech, ahead of LSU is worthless on its face.

Alas, that ain't how it will likely shake out. But hey! It's FOOTBALL!

It was a good Saturday. Any Saturday when Notre Dame, South Carolina, and Penn State all lose...well, it takes the edge off...

So, we'll see how it shakes. I guess now Cincinnati (who plays NOBODY) will be ranked 4th, followed by TCU (who plays a much tougher schedule). I guess I'll have to live with that. But, if USC comes in ranked ahead of my Tigers...I will throw a shoe...

A good rule of thumb for rankings is this: The third best team in the SEC is probably the third best team in the nation. But I'm calling Texas ahead of us anyhow.

Let me wrap up my rambling. I don't know what happened to my Slippery Rock "Rocks" this season. We were doing so good...then just hit the skids. The season ended yesterday on the road against East Stroudsburg with a 54-28 loss. Well, there's always next year.

And, #5 ranked William & Mary blanked Towson 31-0 to go to 8-1 on the season. Go Tribe!

Y'all have a great Sunday. Go forth and do good works. Don't cuss at nobody. Pet your dog, and kiss your wife...or somebody...just not somebody else's wife...

Saturday Morning Chuckle...

One day a large group of blondes met in New York to prove to the world that blondes aren't dumb.

They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.

She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"

The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"

The blonde responded: "Paris?"

So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"

The blonde replied: "Two?"

So the crowd began chanting: “Give her another chance, Give her another chance."

Nyuk! Layers Of Editorial Oversight...

While there certainly is nothing funny about the terrorist attack on Fort Hood soldiers yesterday...

Curtis Stone, a blogger that I read, has found some humor in the news coverage of the event.

Sure, anyone with a lick of sense realizes that the media is scared spitless to come out and call this a jihadist attack on the US (which is not "funny" at all). But, Curtis (a retired CPO) has picked a peach from that right-wing, not "really a news organization," FOX. Go read it!

There Are Only Two College Football Games That Matter This Weekend...

Interestingly, they both involve Louisiana teams.

The first is tonight, as Louisiana Tech takes on Boise State at home in Ruston. This game is extremely important for one reason. While it is not likely that LA Tech will upset Boise, it could happen. Trust me, the BCS homers are praying for an upset. Tech plays well in front of the home folks, and will need their best performance in several years to knock off the Broncos.

A Tech win (again, highly unlikely) will solve a big problem for the BCS.

The only other important game is my beloved LSU Tigers, taking on the worthless, stinkin', toe-sniffin' Tide in Tuscaloosa on Saturday. #9 LSU has improved almost weekly, and #3 'Bama seems to be hit with a three-week flu or something. My Tigers have struggled offensively, but are finally working the bugs out on that side of the ball. I say we score 24 offensively, and maybe 7 on the defensive side.

Our defense is built specifically for teams like 'Bama. I say we hold them to 13, and humiliate St. Nick & his baby elephants at home.

Those are the only games that matter. I do not know how badly Florida will flush the Commodes of Vandy. Nor, do I know how badly Texas will beat Central Florida. The answer to those two questions is the same...as bad as they want to.

Even though I look for #4 Iowa to beat the Mildcats of Northwestern, it would not surprise me if they are upset. This is the time of the season when the really great teams prove it. I'm not convinced that Iowa is...and they are ripe for an upset. But I'm not calling it.

So, Andy's crack research staff, and crystal ball only calls for one "upset" this weekend. LSU 24 - 'Bama 13. But truthfully, judging from the last 3 weeks, it might not really be an upset at all.

Well look...y'all enjoy the games. Check out my LA Tech Bulldogs (the only college that would accept me)...tonight at 7:00 on ESPN2.

Fort Hood Horror...

Okay...if you tuned in to read what Andy thinks about the demonic Muslim that brutally murdered 13 soldiers, and wounded dozens of others. Here it is. He's an Islamic P.O.S. that should face the firing squad.

The firing squad should be made up from volunteers (hopefully chosen from the Army buddies of the dead & wounded). But this should be no regular firing squad. No, instead of firing in unison, each should have their turn...yes, a "turn."

Maybe you could like, "draw names." But instead of drawing a "name," each soldier would draw a particular body part. Right foot, left knee, left hand, right shoulder, groin, gut, left hip, etc. And the lucky soldier (the one who draws "brain") would be given the honor of setting the rotation of shots before he finishes the bastard off.

As each soldier fires (setting his own pace...waiting until the full effect of the last shot has set in on the swine), he/or she will shout, "Allahu Akbar!"

I started to put a photo of the worthless piece of dog crap on this post, but decided not to, because he makes me vomit...

I have read some good pieces on this today at some of my favorite blogs.

Rocky, over at Mitchieville

CosmicConservative

Patrick Conlon

Kill the bastard! Put every Muslim in the military under heavy scrutiny. Even though this piece was written 6 1/2 years ago, Michelle Malkin nailed it to the wall. You would think we would have learned something by now.

I commented somewhere this morning, that as a father of two US Servicemen, I'd rather see them serve next to a gay patriot (openly gay), than a straight Muslim. Their religion is demonic, and that devil drives them. They. Can. Not. Be. Trusted. Period.

Selling The Soap...

Today in Washington, DC, hundreds...no, thousands...no, tens of thousands...no, hundreds of thousands...no, bazillions of Americans are converging to look their Congressperson straight in the eye, and tell them to vote "NO" on Obama/Pelosi/Reid Care.

Those that mustered at a moment's notice to descend on Washington today will most likely just number in the "tens of thousands." But I threw in the "bazillions" deal because I haven't used it in a while.

The focus of this effort (the brainchild of Washington's "other Michele") is obviously aimed at those "Blue Dog Democrats" that represent conservative Districts...and would really like to hang on to their seats. Ha Ha Ha! "Hang on to their seats!" Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Aaaaaaaahhhhhh....I just kill me...

The Tea Party movement has bred some of the best signs, made up by regular old concerned American citizens. I photographed, and posted some from our local Shreveport/Bossier City Tea Party back in April. I mean, they're way better than the Code Pink "No More War" junk.

I found this one somewhere on the web today, direct from today's convergence on Capitol Hill. I like it. This is a good way to sell.



And, I have been holding on to another photo forever. It is a bad sign. Well, the sign is not bad...it's just the presentation of it. This is a bad way to sell your product. So, we must always be careful to present our product (limited government, fiscal responsibility, etc.) with the best possible face. We do not want to turn off those that might be swayed by giving a less than civil, attractive presentation.

Actually, I just wrote this whole post to finally use this photo. I feel good now. I can delete the sucker, and get this image out of my mind...and put it where it belongs. The recycle bin. But I really don't want it recycled. I want it burned, then its' ashes buried several thousand feet below ground.

I mean, you talk about a "buzz kill!" Imagine that you are a housewife, or a professional woman, or female at all...looking to get all hot and bothered with a good fantasy story about junk that never really happens in your life...and you come across this!



So, the lesson is: Well, I'm not really sure what the lesson is. But, you know what I mean. Sure you do. Maybe. Probably not...

Update on my Airman!

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

I heard from my Airman this morning. He made it safe and sound to Fairchild AFB, in Spokane, WA. He starts this school today. From what I read about it, it sounds much more interesting than the last two schools...at least a lot different.

I'm sure he'll enjoy it. He's ready to do something different for a little while. Looks like he'll be finished in time to get home for Christmas. He has to report at Offutt in January. So, fingers crossed.

Thanks for all y'all's prayers for the man. Have a fabulous Thursday, would ya'?

Wayman...

Even if you don't like country music, you will want to watch this video. Toby Keith honors his old buddy, Wayman Tisdale.

Update, Tobybear tells me that the sax player is Dave Koz.

You have to watch an ad first, but it's worth it. Trust me.

BTW, I stole this from Staci, our resident expert on all things Okie...

Salute! (again)

My Congressman, Dr. John Fleming -

SALUTE!

Salute the Brit with me, would ya'? Rest well, "Oz."

Two More From The Road...

WAKE UP!!!! GET UP!!!! It's Monday morning...back to real life, kids!

I had two pictures left from my big trip to San Angelo, TX that I really didn't know what to do with. So, instead of just deleting them, I decided to bless y'all with 'em.

When we were in San Angelo, we were killing time between lunch & a movie. My son wanted to run to a WalMart to look around. He said, "You know Dad, WalMart has all kind of things you didn't even know you couldn't live without until you go in there and see them."

He was right. As we were browsing, I realized that this WalMart is just like my WalMart.



It just goes to show you that a WalMart is a WalMart, is a WalMart, is a WalMart. The only difference is that this gal would be riding around on one of those electric shopping carts if she was at my WalMart.

On the way back home, youngest son's head was really stopped up. We had run out of decongestant, and needed to find a store. I saw a sign that said, "Winters 10 miles." So, I planned to stop in Winters. It's a little prairie town between San Angelo & Abilene.

We saw a little IGA grocery store, and stopped. Right next door to the IGA is the water tower. I think these folks in Winters came up with a good name for their high school football team.


Heh! I'll bet they could pull a "white out" on Penn State some seasons. It's pretty cute...the town has a computer page. On the page they state, "Winters - Where there were Blizzards before Dairy Queens!"

I love small towns.

Now, get to work! And, y'all have a productive, and blessed Monday.