GIVE ME A STINKIN' BREAK!!!!!!

For a guy that is out here in the middle of covering the Super Bowl XLII, this one just went over my top.

Some Nazi German fellow is warning US football fans (real football, not soccer) that they might have a heart attack while watching the Super Bowl XLII. When I read through this, I almost laughed up breakfast.

Heck, I know some guys that had heart attacks eating breakfast. I know some that had heart attacks laughing up their breakfast. I know some guys that just had heart attacks while they were driving, or asleep.

This is just ridiculous! You can read the AP (not RP) article here

A few quotes from the German Nazi article:

For rabid fans of the New York Giants and New England Patriots, this Sunday's Super Bowl won't be just a game. It may be a health hazard. Heart attacks and other cardiac emergencies doubled in Munich, Germany, when that nation's soccer team played in World Cup matches, a new study reports.

And even an American chick "doctor" (obviously not a football fan) said:

The effect was strongest in people with known heart disease. So on Super Bowl Sunday, such people and others with known risks for heart disease _ like high blood pressure or diabetes _ should take extra care of themselves, said Dr. Lori Mosca, director of preventive cardiology at New York-Presbyterian Hospital.

She said that means:

_ Take medications as prescribed.

_ Avoid tobacco smoke and fatty meals.

_ Get plenty of sleep the night before.

_ Don't over-exert yourself physically.

_ If you drink alcohol, limit yourself to one drink for a woman and two for a man.

_ Try "not to get too angry with the refs."

Some wuss doctor from Maryland (that's a State) added this:

On a typical Super Bowl Sunday, "the number of patients waiting to be seen dries up dramatically," Jerrard said. But delaying that visit to stick with a sportscast is a bad idea, especially for people with a history of heart trouble, he says.

"Much of the chest pain or upper abdominal pain that people might be experiencing is mostly likely related to the food they're eating, the alcohol they're ingesting," he said. "But of course, you never know."

Since I had the day off from Harmons' boss-man, I went sightseeing in Phoenix (it's a real pretty town). So I decided to ask folks what they thought about the (let me get my word book...) proposition that more folks have heart attacks during the Super Bowl XLII.

So I came across some New England Patriot fans in Phoenix from Boston (that's a State). Bill, Fred, and Iggy are here in Phoenix for the "Big Game." So I asked them if they planned to have a heart attack during the Super Bowl XLII.

Bill, Fred, and Iggy...Patriot fans

Well, I can tell you for sure that these boys had all of the danger signs of a heart attack during the Super Bowl. Obviously, there was plenty of tobacco smoke (and something else kind of sweet-smelling), alcohol, physical exertion, and lack of sleep going on with these fellows.

Fred was the one I was most worried about having a heart attack. He's real fat, and was throwing 'em down pretty good 3 days ahead of the game. But he was real nice, and told me that he didn't give a flip if he died from a heart attack at the Super Bowl. "No, my life is so miserable that I don't care if I die or not, as long as the Patriots win the Super Bowl." At that point, he took off his shirt and began to put Tom Brady decals on his ample gut (I decided not to put the picture of that on the computer).

Bill was pretty cool. He didn't seem too worried about it all. Evidently, he is from Alabama and had been hitching out to California (we had alot in common, but that's another story). Around Tucumcari, New Mexico, Fred and Iggy picked him up. He was just grateful for the ride thus far. He didn't have a ticket to the game and planned to be in Lodi by then.

Iggy was not worried at all about dying from a heart attack. His real name is "Ignacius." His folks are Roman Catholic, and had him baptized young. He told me that he don't think he will die until he realizes his dream of playing Quarterback for for the New Orleans Saints, but if he does he'll be okay since he's been baptized (he's real religious, and playing quarterback for the Saints would get him some kudos up there).

They were all real nice fellows...kind of mellow.

So as I looked at tourist attractions in Phoenix, I came across these other fellows. I was right by the library (where I am downloading all of this from Harmon's boss-mans' computer camera, and a public library computer) when I came across Blue, Red, and RedDog. Evidently, Blue, Red, and RedDog don't have a place to actually live in Phoenix, but they live out here by the library.

Blue, Red, and RedDog

So I asked Blue and Red if they were gonna have a heart attack during the Super Bowl. They looked at me like I had 12 toes. Evidently they are not football fans. They said some stuff, but I really couldn't make it out too good, and I think they really didn't know that football was in Phoenix this coming Sunday.

So I asked RedDog if he was gonna have a heart attack during the Super Bowl XLII. RedDog made alot more sense than Blue and Red with his answer. (I can't show you the picture, but trust me...RedDog ain't gonna have any problem with a heart attack).

Well, it's been a glorious day here in Phoenix. I have learned alot. When you plan your Super Bowl Party be sure and don't have any alcohol, any smokes, any potato chips due to the high fat, and especially any potty-mouth talk at the refs...and be sure to take your nerve pills before kickoff.