CAR CHASE!!!!!!!!!!!

Some of y'all might have looked at this. Late Sunday afternoon I watched a car chase by police in Los Angeles. It was being recorded by a FoxNews affiliate in LA. I had just finished watching my man Tiger Woods win the Arnold Palmer Invitational, and I was looking for a good Barnaby Jones, or Law & Order rerun, when I came across it (in living color by the way...we have upgraded).

The Mrs. was gone to visit her Momma. So I had to tell her all about it later. It went something like this:

"Baby, I was flipping through the channels awhile ago and came across FoxNews. The first thing that made me stop to watch was that the anchorwoman had black hair...really dark. I was confused because I thought all the chicks that do the news on Fox are blonde. I mean, I know Lauren Green has dark hair, but she's a black lady (and a nice looking one to boot...I didn't say that part to the Mrs....so don't tell her).

They were covering a "car chase" in Los Angeles. And I'll tell you it was the most boring thing you've ever seen. This was the slowest car chase in history. I mean, the cops could have chased this car on foot. But no, there were about a dozen cruisers following this silver SUV going about 10 miles an hour through the streets of LA.

I mean, this car chase made the O.J. Simpson 40 mile per hour chase look like Talladega. It was the most boring thing I've ever looked at. The old black fellow in the SUV was stopping at stop signs, traffic lights...ye was yielding to incoming traffic. There was one guy that was getting in his car on the street, and the dude being "chased" stopped to let him go on ahead and pull into traffic and go on.

The dark-haired news chick started to get on my nerves after awhile. It seems that she had 4 sentences written down, and decided to repeat each of them continually throughout the whole ordeal. And she said them all with a very "excited" and annoying tone of voice.

1) We've been told that the man possibly has a gun!!!! Really? A black guy in L.A. that possibly has a gun? Whodathunkit? He's a black guy in L.A. for heavens sake! He's either a criminal, or armed to protect himself from criminals, and is packin'.

2) We've been told that the man didn't know that he was being pursued by police, but there are almost a dozen police cars behind him. He must know that he is being pursued!!!! Duh....

3) We've been told that the driver is on the phone with police, and is afraid he will be shot if he gives up!!!!

4) We've been told that the driver may be mentally disturbed!!!! Okay, refer to sentence 3 that this chick repeated over, and over, and over.

It finally got to the bottom of the hour and it was time for Geraldo Rivera to come on FoxNews with his program. And he picked right up this boring car chase right where the black-haired chick left off...using the same 4 sentences that the black-haired gal did.

Fortunately, the poor old mentally disturbed, slow-driving, ignorant, "possibly" gun-toting black fellow finally quit not too long into the bottom of the hour. The cops cuffed him, and all was right with the world again. I hope they get the old fellow some help."

So after I finished telling the Mrs. about the whole deal, I said, "You know honey, after watching that for about 25 minutes, I'm a little disturbed. I don't know who is more ignorant...the poor old black fellow that made all this "big news," or me for wasting a half hour looking at it."

She just laughed and laughed. My goal for the day was accomplished.