STINKIN' SCHOOLS!!!!!!!

Man, you talk about a "Nanny State!" As a father of 4 boys, with an abundance of buddies that have hung out around here for all these years, I can tell you that I was pretty excited when the "body-spray" deal caught on with teenage boys...I'm just gonna comment as the ignorant article unfolds.

The Yahoo News Article Here

Minn. lawmaker wants scent-free schools

This headline is ignorant. What idiot believes there can be a scent-free school? I've spent most of my life going to, or visiting one school or another, and they all have a "scent" of one sort or another.

The library smells like old books. The cafeteria smells like rotten lettuce. The bathroom smells like smoke and tinkle. The gym smells like sweaty basketball players. The field house smells like stinky football players. The stadium smells like popcorn. And the classrooms smell like the brand of perfume or cologne the teacher favors. The article begins...

ST. PAUL, Minn. - Those all-over body sprays that promise to turn teenage boys into babe magnets? Instead of attracting girls, they could be making them sick.

A Minnesota lawmaker proposed a bill Monday urging a fragrance-free educational campaign to discourage students from dousing themselves in scents that aggravate classmates with asthma and other health problems.

You gotta be stinkin' kidding me. "...scents that aggravate classmates..." Heck, Jimmy "Pooter" Wilson aggravated the crud out of me all the way through junior high. But he didn't just "douse himself" with scents, if you know what I mean. I think we all have some fairly bad memories of some particular kids that had sort of an obnoxious odor. The article continues...

Odors that fill hallways come mostly from boys who douse themselves in body sprays like Axe, said Mikolai Altenberg, a senior at Minneapolis South High School. He said the smell is "indescribable" and unavoidable.

"You can smell it from 10 feet away," Altenberg said. "Mostly it's just guys who just think that putting Axe all over them is a substitute for showering."

Mikolai (what kind of name is that to saddle a kid with?) says that the smell is "indescribable." Mick, you're in school...learn how to describe things. Hey I got an idea for you..."It smells like Axe!" What do you want to bet that Mikolai is National Honor Society, and in charge of decorations for the Prom? The article continues...

Rep. Karen Clark, a Democrat, first proposed banning fragrances in Minneapolis schools, one of the state's largest school districts. The bill she introduced Monday scales that back to an awareness campaign in Minneapolis and in other districts that volunteer. The campaign could include letters to parents, fact sheets, signs in schools, e-mail and Web sites.

There's you a good idea Rep. Karen Clark, a Democrat! Let's spend a gazillion dollars trying to convince boys to smell bad. Let's even get us a web site to promote stinking teenagers. We could call it "JustSayNoToDeo.you.stupid.idiot.gov!" You could even be the webmaster, and comment moderator...man, wouldn't that be an interesting mental exercise?

One in eight Minneapolis students has asthma, and school nurses have treated students for wheezing and headaches brought on by the fragrances wafting from classmates, said Mary Heiman, a nursing service manager who runs the district's asthma program.

"One in eight?" What the heck is wrong with them kids in Minnesota? Jeepers, these are supposed to be kids from hearty Scandanavian stock. I mean, they live in one of the toughest climates in the US...and one in eight has asthma? Is it interbreeding, or something? Guess that's why the Golden Gophers really stink at most sports.

An awareness campaign would mirror the approach of policies at the University of Minnesota's Disability Services office and in a recent version of the Minneapolis teachers contract.

If the awareness campaign works, it could be expanded, Clark said.

Trust me, the campaign will be expanded whether it works or not...we're talking government programs here. The article continues...

A trade group for toiletry makers, the Personal Care Products Council in Washington, said it doesn't oppose fragrance policies as long as they're voluntary.

"We really don't think it's a good idea to legislate personal hygiene," said John Hurson, the group's head of government affairs.

Rhode Island and Massachusetts are the only other states where lawmakers have proposed fragrance-free bills in the past two years, Hurson said.

"...as long as they're voluntary..." "...legislate personal hygiene..." Who would have thought that that kind of argument would ever even have to be made on a subject as ignorant as this!

Man, this is a crazy, stick your nose in everybody elses' armpit world ain't it? John, don't be surprised if Massachusetts, Rhode Island, New York, and the City of Berkeley start legislating personal hygiene. You know misery loves company, and stink loves stench. Ignorant...