VET EMERGENCY CLINIC

Well, I had promised to tell y'all the whole story of my trip to the ER with Sadie on Saturday evening. It's a long tale, so if you ain't got time just move on...won't hurt my feelings.

Now y'all know that Sadie is dumber than a bag of cement, but sweet. So the Mrs. was busy in the kitchen cooking for the family Easter gathering on Sunday. I went out in the back yard, and it was looking awful shaggy. So I went inside and told the Mrs. that she'd better go cut the back yard ahead of this rain we were supposed to get.

So she got to a stopping place, and went on out to mow. It was such a beautiful afternoon that I decided to go on outside and watch her mow (besides, the WGC golf tournament had got suspended due to bad weather). Now the first few times that she used her new side-discharge, self-pulling mower, Sadie near about had a stroke. I mean, she ran right alongside the mower (on the discharge side). It was funny to watch, I mean grass, and sticks, and rocks hitting her in the head and all. But that stupid animal just stayed with it the whole way.

Well I guess Sadie had learned finally not to do that. But it might have been even funnier what she was doing Saturday. She would lay down right in the path of the mower, and every time the Mrs. got to where she was, she had to stop the mower, and tell Sadie to "go on." And I'll be durned if the next time around Sadie wasn't laying right in the path again. After about the third time of this, I told the Mrs. "baby, just run over her. If she's too stupid to get out of the way, she needs to get hit."

I didn't really think the Mrs. would do it (I was just kidding), but I reckon I've got the Mrs. trained pretty good. The next time she came around Sadie just laid there...and the Mrs. took my instruction. Well, you can imagine that it was not a pretty sight. I don't want to describe it, and I didn't really think she would do it. I'm gonna have to be more cautious about what I tell the Mrs. to do from now on for sure.

Well, Sadie was a mess and I figured I'd better load her up in the truck and carry her to the Vet Emergency Room. The poor gal was in pretty bad shape. So I told the Mrs. to go on ahead and finish the yard, and I'd handle the dog...oh, and "be sure and wash that mower off when you get finished," I told her.

So I get there about 6:00 on Saturday evening, and they're pretty busy. There was two or three dogs, some old lady had a cat, there was a Mexican gal there with a chicken, and one big old Redneck gal (I knew she was a Redneck by her accent, and her hairdo) that had one of them Vietnam pigs. I was just glad there weren't a PitBull in there.

Well, when I got there the triage lady knew right off that Sadie needed to go right on back. So she wheeled her right on back. While they were taking care of Sadie, I sat up there in the office to fill out the admission paperwork. The admissions lady asked me, "Do you have insurance, sir?" I just laughed out loud! "Insurance...on a dog? Heck, I don't have insurance on the younguns." She said, "Well sir, many of our patients carry pet health insurance." I thought to myself, "man, those are some ignorant people." But I finally gathered myself, and told her "No ma'am, it'll be out of pocket."

So back in the back, they were working on Sadie. It's wonderful how those Vets love and care for animals. The Dr. on call got her gashes all sewed up, and put a splint on her leg (I reckon it was broken). I felt bad that I had to lie to the lady on the admission papers about how Sadie got hurt (it being Easter weekend and all), but I didn't want to deal with the ASPCA, so I made up a tale (that I won't re-lie to y'all).

When they got finished, I went on up there to pay. The gal at the office handed me a prescription for medicine, and the bill (x-rays, emergency visit, anesthetic, stitches, splint, and on and on)...and I almost turned loose water...$732 total! I know my face must have turned white as a Jap gal in the Mikado. "$732!!!!," I thought to myself. "What am I gonna do? I ain't got that kind of money to put out on a stupid dog that won't get out of the way of a mower." Now I understood why folks are buying health insurance on their dogs.

So I had an idea. I started patting around on my back pockets, and told the lady, "Well, it looks like in all the hurry, I forgot my billfold." Then I asked the lady could they board Sadie for the weekend, seeing as it was Easter weekend, and we was gonna be gone on Sunday, and I couldn't really look after her good? Then I told her "I'll just pay you for the whole deal on Monday, with the boarding charges added in." She said that would be fine.

Sadie was still in the back, so I walked on back to have one last moment with her. I told her how much I loved her, and how pretty she was, and how sweet she was, and how she was gonna have to be brave if she never saw any of us again. She just looked up at me and closed her pretty yellow eyes and went on to sleep. I reckon the pain medicine had kicked in pretty good.

On the way home I was feeling bad for her. But I was thinking about this fellow I know, Leroy that owns a transmission shop who sells the cars every once in awhile that folks don't ever come back to pick up. You know, they say "go ahead on and fix it Leroy," but the bill is so high that they just never come back...so he sells the car for the charges. At that moment, with a $732 charge hanging over Sadies' head, it sounded like a plan to me. I was thinking, "hey, I can spend about $200 on a new yellow lab that might not be so ignorant as to let herself get run over by a lawnmower."

"She is stupid. I mean it wasn't a fire truck, or a car or anything...it was a stinking lawnmower moving 3 miles an hour for heavens sake!," I'm thinking to myself.


I felt pretty bad all Easter Sunday about the whole deal, but I know the Lord forgives the sinner, so I was gonna go on ahead and proceed with the plan. But after looking at those cute dogs talking to their owners on todays' video...I just can't do it. I mean, Sadie ain't ever gonna be smart enough to talk to me, but she is my dog...she loves me...and I love her.

I also got to thinking about how I would feel if the Mrs. left me at the vets' office and never came back to pick me up. She knows I'd miss watching football, and golf, and would miss her home cooking. She wouldn't ever do something like that to me (I guess she wouldn't, but I ain't gonna ask her for sure).

Plus, the Vet deserves to get paid for what he did. It ain't his fault Sadie is too ignorant to not get hit by a lawnmower.

So I reckon I'll go get her this afternoon. Gotta go by the bank first to take out a loan. I am hoping they might let me put up Sadie as surety for the loan (I've got her papers and all). And I sure don't want to have to collateralize my truck again. So, I might be kinda busy today. If I don't talk at y'all later, you'll at least know that I did the right thing...ignorant dog...