SARAH...

Shame ON ya'!

It's not Christian to say, "I told ya' so." So, I'll just tell ya', "John McCain told ya' so!" The great American hero, Senator John McCain tried to warn ya' not to vote for those other two guys! But ya' just wouldn't listen! Shame ON ya'!

It's been a too darn long time since I talked to ya'. I wanna' thank all of America, and all 2,997 of my Twitter "followers", and give ya' an update on what's up with me!

Everything is just as fine as frog hair here in Alaska! We've been shootin' wolves like crazy up here...and I'll tell ya', the ranchers, and the caribou are pretty gosh darned happy about it all! I know that Winona's little sister is kinda' ticked off about it all, but whatcha' gonna do? Ya' can't please everybody! It's a hard job being Governor, and ya' gotta' make tough decisions. I don't get to vote "present" (like some fellas I know). So Ashley can bite me. Me and Todd and the kids are just peachy! I'll tell ya', I never knew how much fun bein' a grandma might be until Tripp came along. He's a REAL trip, I'll tell ya'!!!

It's not Christian to just wag your finger at people that are doin' stupid stuff without givin' some good suggestions. So, I've got some good ideas to suggest to President Obama, and his Vice President (my good friend) Joe Biden.

I'll start with a teentsie bit of advice for Joe. Joe, ya' know I love ya'!!! That debate we had was just so darn fun, and it was just so darn great to meet your wife (she has really good taste in shoes), and to know that our sons are both fighting for our way of life. I love ya' Joe!

But let me give ya' a little advice. Don't put yourself OUT THERE. If you do, the newsmen (and the tiny little bleach-blonde news girls, too) will really make ya' look like a fool! Trust me Joe, I know! The very best thing you can do is just kinda' fly under the radar. The television and newspaper people can be really mean to ya' when ya' say stupid stuff! Joe, I don't know what happened since you and me were kids, but now the TV people actually want to talk to the Vice President (and even the candidate for Vice President when the "top guy" is like a gazillion years old).

Ya' gotta be careful Joe!!!. Those retards'll rip ya' a new one!!! I love ya', and ya' know I do, gosh darnit! Give your whole family a big hug for me and Todd and the kids!

Now, I'm gonna' give our President Barack Hussein Obama some advice.

Let's start with your Treasury Secretary, this Geithner fella'. You need to get some better employees, Mr. President! If the great American Hero John McCain had been elected, he probably woulda' asked Mitt to take on the job of fixin' this big financial mess! Hate to admit it, but I like Mitt!

I know that Christians like you and me don't like Mormons...but when you're betwix and between like we are now, you need to find somebody good with money stuff to handle the money stuff. Mormons are REALLY, REALLY good at money stuff, so maybe you should think about it! Golly gumpkins, I'll bet ya' two Barbie dolls that Mitt coulda' sorted this all out in a week!

Secondly, you really need to spend some time workin' on foreign relations! I know from listening to the radio that a LOT of British people got really ticked off because of the gift you gave their President. Shame ON ya'! They're our good pals!

I know from experience how important it is to pick out just the right gift when a foreign leader visits. The President of Siberia was scheduled to come across the Bering, and visit Alaska last year. I was campaignin' for Joe's job at the time, and I was really, really, way busy. But I had promised to be there, so me, Todd, and the kids hopped a flight back home.

I had been so really, really, way busy that I forgot to get a gift for the President of Siberia. Golly gosh, he came walkin' into my office with a big ol' smile on his face...all dressed up in Siberia native garb with a huge sow in tow! (His interpreter told me that they had gone to the trouble of ordering the lipstick that was painted on her snout all the way from Paris, FRANCE!)

Whillikers!!!! I just felt awful terrible for not gettin' a really nice gift like that for The President of Siberia. I froze!!! I thought about givin' him the Bearskin rug that Todd gave me on our last anniversary, but I knew he probably had plenty of those. Then I thought about pullin' some Alaska Salmon from the chest freezer, but Todd gave the ice chest away as a door prize at the County Fair.

Jee Whiz and whoopie, it came to me!!! I asked Todd to take him on a tour (and don't be in a big hurry to get back sweetie if ya' know what's good for ya'). So The President of Siberia, Todd, the kids, and the interpreter fella' all loaded up in the van and took off! Whew!!!!

While they were out touring the beautiful, wild, gorgeous Great State of Alaska, I slit the pig's throat, gutted her, bled her out really good, skinned her, and put her up to roast over our perpetual burning State Fire! By the time Todd and the gang got home it was almost dark. I had called a buncha buncha buncha friends from the church, and they were all showin' up for a real gosh darnit Alaska pig roast! I'll tell ya' for sure, The President of Siberia was not just a little bit happy about the whole thing. He was overwhelmed.

Maybe the next time that the English President comes to visit you should just improvise. Sometimes it's better to just wing it than actually take the time to figure out a good gift!

Well, thanks again for all your support America! I gotta' go now. Got lots and lots and LOTS of stuff to take care of here in The Great State of Alaska, and at the Palin household! Wish I could give you all a big old bearhug!

Before you go to bed at night, be sure and pray for our President, our Vice President, and for all of our elected officials. Gosh and be darned, we sure need it!