I LOVE THE MRS., BUT...(#92)

...she is messing up my mornings!!!

Now, she's not doing it intentionally, but she's doing it nonetheless.

I am an egg head. No, I'm not particularly intelligent, or into science and math junk. I just love hen eggs. I never was much for eggs until the late-1980's. I had gotten REALLY fat, as opposed to being just KINDA fat. I was about 210, and could barely button my 42's.

At that time there was a very popular diet known as the "Egg and Grapefruit Diet." Needless to say, it involved eating eggs. And grapefruit. So I went on it, and sure enough it worked like a charm. I lost 30 pounds in one month.

That was fortunate for sure, seeing as I was to gain 35 pounds the next month. Man, I would have really been a carnival attraction had I not headed that bad boy off at the pass.

Anyway, I eat eggs almost every morning. I do not know what God put in that miraculous little egg-shaped dealie...but whatever it is, a couple of them will keep you going all the doo da day. It's almost like eating a whole chicken or something...miraculous. And while on the "Egg and Grapefruit Diet," I discovered that I really do like eggs. So, it's not a chore at all to scarf some fuel down that I know will sustain me throughout my humdrum day.

One thing I LOVE about Walmart is that they sell their store-brand hen eggs for 98 cents a dozen. That means that I can get enough fuel down the gullet in the morning to hold me until supper for something less than 20 cents. Now, is that a DEAL, or WHAT?

Now to the point. The Mrs. has decided that she doesn't want to buy just regular old Walmart 98 cent eggs anymore. Noooooooooo. She wants to buy "Great Day" All Natural Eggs. (At a premium price of $1.58 per dozen btw)



You'll notice that these are "special" hen eggs. They come "FROM HENS FED MULTI-GRAIN DIETS." Well, shazzzaaaam! And, they are ALL NATURAL...as opposed to the unnatural (fake) regular 98 cent eggs laid by those hens that have obviously had silicone implants, or botox, or something.

DO NOT BUY THESE EGGS AT YOUR WALMART! In the two weeks since The Mrs. made the big switch to these things, I have yet to crack one without having about 1/3 of the shell shatter into teeny-tiny pieces and fall along with the edible junk into the skillet. Ignorant!

And I'll tell y'all, I am just about SICK, AND DADGUMMED TIRED OF IT! I do not know what in the world is in a multi-grain diet that causes hen eggs to be so brittle, but it's enough to make one rethink, and go back to eating cheap white bread instead of "multi-grain" at twice the price.

I think what I will do next week...no, later on today...is go to Walmart and buy my own eggs. Yeah, that's the ticket. I'll let her deal with the stupid shell-shattering eggs herself, and reserve the regular, cheap, stiff-shelled hen eggs for me. That'll learn her!

You know, after writing all this down I realize just what a waste of time it was for someone passing through this blog. I'm sorry. In fact, I may not even hit the "publish post" button. Oh, what the heck...

Y'all have a good day. I gotta go supervise The Mrs. while she cuts a bunch of grass today...and go buy some eggs.