"The Facebook," and my light bulb moment...

I hope this will be coherent.

As I have mentioned, I recently signed up on "The Facebook." I did it to educate myself on exactly what it is, and how it works. And, I did it because some friends recommended it for various reasons, which I have found to all be valid during my time on "The Facebook."

As of this morning, I have 48 "friends." And I appreciate each of them. But yesterday afternoon, within the space of two hours, I received three "friend invitations." As I looked at them, I realized that I really did not want to be connected to those people. It's nothing personal. I'm sure they are fine, decent people. But I really don't care to know what's going on in their lives, or what they are interested in, etc. I thought, "what in the world makes them think that I want to connect with them?"

Is that snooty? Then the "light bulb" came on. It dawned on me to ask the same question of myself. "What makes ME think that people want to connect with me? What makes ME think that others are interested in what's up with me, or what I'm thinking?" And when you turn the barrel toward yourself, things get more serious.

I have invited 5 or 6 people to enlist as my "friend" on The Facebook. They are mostly bloggers that I enjoy reading, and have made at least some level of personal connection with. So, I had to ask myself, "When I sent those friend requests, did they ask that same question..."What makes him think I want to connect...yada yada yada." Now, don't take my "projection" personally if you received a friend request from me...it is just something that I needed to examine internally.

This is not to be critical of anyone, but the "thing" that bothers me about The Facebook is the way that it works...If you decide to "Say Something," then every one of your friends (if they ever check their page) is pretty well forced to read it. Of course, "forced" might be too strong a word...but you know what I mean.

If I decide to, I can let all 48 of my friends know that I got a new puppy, or bruised my ribs, or cut my grass, or that Nancy Pelosi is an idiot, etc. So, I have to ask the question, "Andy...does anybody really care what you think?" If I have an opinion about politics, or religion, or whatever, I can post it, and all 48 are likely to read it.

Then my thinking expanded. "If you have something to say, is it not better to put it out there, and let those that are interested come to you, instead of putting your opinions, or personal news right under their nose?" That seems to make much more sense to me...and to be a much more "adult" way of connecting with others.

"Blogging" is much more like that. My silly little blog doesn't get much traffic. But, I know that I know that I know that those who do visit, do so of their own volition. Sure, some visit just because they feel sorry for me...or out of a sense of obligation...or to be reminded of how good their blog is in comparison to Andy's, etc.

But there are a few folks that really are interested.

The whole question of "Why would people want to connect with me?" continues to rattle around in my head. Since I began blogging in January '08, I have met some wonderful people. I have found so many diverse folks, with such like-minds, that it is truly surprising. If you are one of those that I have come to know on a deeper level than just "superficially," then you will know what I mean.

The question of "Why would people want to hear what I have to say?" neccesarily moves me to the next step in my thinking. "Why even have a blog? My friends all know how to get in touch with me. If they want to know what's going on with me, or what I think about something, they can ask me."

But that attitude is not the one of a know-it-all blowhard like myself. So, I will continue to blog. And I will continue to invite others to Andy's Place. And hopefully, I will continue to develop more than just surface relationships with visitors. I know that I have wormed my way into friendship with several bloggers that I would have never known, (or not known nearly as well) had I not gotten into this hobby.

But they were people that I actively pursued a friendship with. I saw something in their writing, their attitudes, their outlook on life and politics that I found attractive. They are a diverse group, and I wanted to be a part of the fabric of their lives...however small my little "patch" might be. It was a direct choice that I made, and pursued. And, I am grateful to so many of you for allowing me into your patch of ground. I mean it.

I hope that was coherent.