Thursday, February 25, 2010

Fake Toofers...

Gateway Pundit is reporting that during this Health Care Hoedown between the splattering crowd, Congresswoman Louise Slaughter (Dimwit, NY) whined about some old gal in her district that had to wear her dead sister's fake toofers. 

It put me in mind of a story that my beloved Granddaddy once told me.  I've told y'all about my beloved Granddaddy before.  Billy Joe (Will) Austin was my best friend before he died in November of 1981.  He owned a couple of Appliance, Television, and Furniture stores here in the area.

At one time, he had a location in the Shreve City Shopping Center, about two doors down from G.C. Murphy's dime store.  Murphy's had a lunch counter.  One morning before the store opened up, Granddaddy dropped in for breakfast.  This is what he told me...

"I was sitting there at the counter next to an old man in overalls, and we were visiting while our orders were being filled.  When the waitress brought his breakfast, he started searching his pockets for his dentures.  He patted all over top and bottom, but couldn't find 'em.

There he was, with grits, biscuits, and a ham steak...and no way to chomp.  The old fellow (laughing about it all) said to me, 'Well, dammit!  I must have left my dentures at the house!  I can down the grits and biscuits, but somebody else is gonna get a free ham steak.  Who wants it?'

There was a well-dressed man sitting on the other side of the old fellow.  He laughed, and said, 'Neighbor, lemme see what I can do.'  At that, he reached into his left suit pocket and pulled out a set of dentures.  He said, 'Give these a try.'  The old man plopped 'em in, chomped a minute, and said, 'Well, thanks, but these won't do.'

The stranger was not giving up that quick.  So, he reached into his right suit pocket and pulled out another pair, and handed them to the old man.  The old man gave it another try...chomped a minute, and said, 'Yep!  These'll do!  Thank you, sir."

The stranger went back to eating his breakfast with a 'You're more than welcome, sir.'  The old man (and my Granddaddy) was curious about this fellow.  So, the old man asked, 'My friend, what do you do?  If you're a denture salesman, I'd like to buy these from you...because I could sure use a spare set.'

The well-dressed stranger looked at him, and said, 'No sir.  You just keep 'em....I'm not a denture salesman.  I'm a mortician.' "


  1. LOL! That's the BEST damned story I've heard in one helluva long time!!

  2. Glad you liked it Buck! My Granddaddy could tell 'em.

    He had brown eyes...because he was full of dookie all the way to the top.

  3. Jim, my beloved Granddaddy was a "beauty!" I could write a blog post every day with one of his funny stories.


  4. Old joke...

    A young woman is having a bit of a spat with her boyfriend at a local eatery, when she spies an old couple bringing their food to a nearby table. As she and her boyfriend pick at each other over whatever minor quibble they had that day, she watched as the old man placed his food on the table, then sat and watched as his wife ate.

    Struck by the unusual display of gallantry she saw her own boyfriend in a new light, thinking of a far off day when she and her then husband would be so comfortably in love and he as unselfishly chivalrous as the kind old man. Taking her boyfriend's hand, she apologized, and soon the two were beaming with shared delight as they stood to leave.

    Unable to leave without telling the old man what an inspiration he was, she stopped, tapped the old man on the shoulder and said "It's beautiful how you treat your wife, letting her eat first like that."

    "I got no damn choice! It's her turn with the teeth!"

  5. American Dental Association’s Greed Creates Need for Borrowed Dentures

    The fact that it is a denture doesn’t lessen the severity of being without a functional prosthesis. The idea that a woman had to wear her “dead sister’s teeth”, was the story told by New York Rep. Louise Slaughter at President Obama’s health care summit (please see following youtube link) and is just one story of many that involves the critical state of our health and dental care system in our nation. People shouldn’t have to do without a functional prosthesis, whether it being an arm, leg, or denture.

    We've been dealing with healthcare being controlled by the American Medical Association, American Dental Association, Big Pharma Corporations and the Insurance companies leaving us with little or no money to meet our day to day expenses. I know lots of people that went to their grave sick and broke, paying for healthcare expenses. Just visit one of your neighborhood convalescent centers and take a look at our people and where our current healthcare system is getting us. Look at the healthcare, dental care and financial situation that the residents and their families are in. Some don’t have dentures or a sister to borrow from. It’s no joke and a serious situation. Health and dental care is unaffordable for most American families leaving people with no choice but to do without.

    If corporate ADA would quit squeezing out competition it would free up more chairtime for children, restorative, cosmetic, and emergency dental procedures but instead, corporate ADA’s self-serving political agenda is hurting consumers by suppressing qualified competitors that provide oral health care services, especially those with disparities. The American Dental Association works against its own vision and mission statement by suppressing competition that has been trained and educated in providing oral health care services to those that are unable to pay the high prices charged by dentist leaving Americans without needed dental care. Midlevel oral healthcare providers include denturists, dental health aide therapists, and independent practice for dental hygienists.

    The American Dental Association uses money to fight Dental Hygienists from having independent practices, the ADA fights and prevents Denturists from having independent practices and funnels money to state dental associations to prosecute Denturists so they can’t provide affordable denture care to people. The ADA, waste money fighting Alaska, to prevent Dental Health Aide Therapists from providing dental services to Natives of Alaska living in remote areas.

    Healthcare reform can not be about greed. A good number of Americans can’t afford to pay for dental work. Most aren’t on Medicaid and they have no dental insurance. The American Dental Association needs to reduce your prices, guarantee your work, and be more competitive.

    Gary W. Vollan L.D.
    State Coordinator, Wyoming State Denturist Association

    Denturists: Alternative healthcare providers for oral health screenings and referrals embedded#


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?