So, I have been advised by many of my beloved friends to just kill the dang squirrels. As noted in the comments of my previous post, it's a 100% vote. However, there is trouble with this. I contacted the City to find out just exactly what "I could do legally."
Basically, all I can do "legally" is trap the little thieves, and set them free down by the Red River, at a park, or take them to Animal Control (where they will be released into the wild...probably at MY HOUSE!) Pellet guns are prohibited...shotguns definitely prohibited (even though few pay attention to that...and it don't be squirrel season until the Fall)...and yada yada yada...
So, we're stuck with The HAVAHART Squirrel trap for now. I thought about just drowning the little rascals in a trash can full of water (as one, cruel, heartless suggester suggested), but what would I do with their miserable, worthless, garden-raping carcasses (I mean, I am a vegetarian, and my Great Grandmother Mammie was the only person I ever saw actually cook Squirrel Dumplings...and she's dead now)? I guess I could dig a hole, and start a mass grave. But, with thousands of these things to trap, it might start stinking pretty bad around here before we get it filled up.
It's a true condurum.
So, what else have I got? Heh! Paul The Fireguy sent me this note from the gubmit of Iceland to The European Union:
Setjið 30 milljarða evra í Sýppelkassin (letterbox?) Á íslensku sendiráði í kvöld og slökkva á eldfjall! Ekki
hringja á lögregluna!
Translation (roughly): Put 30 billion Euros in Sýppelkassin (letterbox?) at the Icelandic embassy tonight and we turn off the volcano! Do not call the police!
Nyuk!
Willie! Willie! Willie!
I promise you...you'd have a life-long quest to find someone that loves Willie Nelson's music more than Andy does. I have been a fan, admirer...sometime defender of Willie & his Craziness for most of my young adult/adult life. I mean, folks smoking pot never bothered me, and though I've never smoked a joint (and don't intend to), I'm starting to have some second thoughts...
Nah...there are a lot of "Truthers" that don't partake.
I'm wondering if us "Birthers" sound just as "Crazy" as the "Truthers." Seriously! I mean, I know that ObozO was born over in Kenya, and is Constitutionally prohibited from holding his office, and screwing us all into the ground with every puff he takes. But...do we seem just as nutso as Willie?
On a tip from Opinionated Catholic. This is Willie a couple of nights ago on the Larry King program on CNN. You'll get the gist in the first minute and a half.
Willie is "SURE" that 747's have flown into other buildings, too!
Well, maybe The Nightlife really ain't no good life. (Look, that video is worth a look just because Crystal Gayle is sitting behind Willie).
Just sayin'...
Let's see...what else we got?
Heh! Walt sent me about 30 pictures of weird restaurant signs. Most of 'em are chink...but not all. I don't have time to post 'em all (and some are too risque for this family friendly blog). I'm just gonna show y'all 3 of 'em. If you want the entire collection, send me a computer letter @ JustAndysPlace@gmail.com I'll gladly forward the whole hilarious bunch to you.
Well, that's about all I got today. Y'all have a good what's left of Tuesday!
I love all y'all! I mean it...
So far I have been not bothered with squirrles this year. It has been those pack rats I catch. I take them to the water feature and baptise them. I figure that if they drown it is not my fault. MUD
ReplyDeleteTurn off the volcano -- heh.
ReplyDeleteWhat's with the squirrel hatred, Andy?
ReplyDeleteI love squirrels and miss having them around as there aren't any in NZ (I'm from Chicago).
Sure they can be pesty, but even if you remove them (ahem), squirrels are territorial (if anyone hasn't mentioned it to you yet). New squirrels will just move in to your area if the old ones are removed or leave.
Just a helpful FYI.
Buy some wire netting to protect your veggies and a few squirrel feeders - make it reallllly hard for them - you'll be amazed at their acrobatic skill (really!)...
hugs back at ya from mean ol' meany's site... :-o
Lisa G in NZ
I KNEW there was a good reason why Toby said he'd never smoke weed with Willie again....
ReplyDeleteA prime example of why I have lost respect for many, many "celebrities".
ReplyDeleteSo, I guess going after the squirrels with a Ma Deuce is out of the question?
BR, I'm with you on not having "respect" for celebrities. But dang...Willie can sing, and bend those strings like few that have ever done it. I guess I'm a product of my generation, and my geography...Willie will always be way up there on my "listen to" list.
ReplyDeleteI gotta respect his talent...and will always love his work. But, he's getting old. I mean, Barry Goldwater went nutso when the OldTimers kicked in on him, too. So, I'm willing to chalk it up to normal aging (senile dementia, whatever).
Staci, I know that your Okie boy Toby did lots of work with Willie. Glad he never got arrested along with "The Family." (as far as I know)
Moogie, I too appreciated the humor in that one.
MUD, I never really pondered the fact that drowning squirrels might be a spiritual experience. You da' man!
Lisa...I hope you and I got straight about my lame attempt at humor. If you still have not forgiven me, I will be glad to ship about 144,000 squirrels to NZ...since y'all don't have any.
I don't hate squirrels. I just hate what they do...and would like to exterminate every freakin' one on the planet. It's nothing personal...just business.
btw, I wish y'all had exterminated ONE of y'all's Chicago squirrels several years back.
Andy, I'm late to the conversation about squirrels and you've already been forced to take a certain approach. But, I will share my squirrel story with you. My wife and I had a run in with tree rats about eight years ago. There's a walnut tree in our backyard that attracts them and over approximately twenty years the population had grown to about the size of the Metroplex Dallas/Ft.Worth area. The dirty little tree rats were everywhere, waving their furry tails around and seeming to say "kiss this sucker." And as another poster noted, they are territorial. It was their place and we were the interlopers. With that large a population we observed all kinds of squirrely personalities, one particularly weird little rat, probably a "truther" like Willie, had obviously smoked too much thistle weed and seemed to have forgotten how to use his claws to climb a tree. He would back off about five or six feet from the trunk and run at the tree as fast as he could, leaping at the last minute to ram into the tree with his neck and head. Since our social life is limited as redneck Tennesseeans, we watched him do this for several weeks for entertainment. One day he was gone, probably joined Rosie O'Donnell's staff. But back to the rest of the rats. They were crawling all over our house now, waking us up in the morning with their scampering, scratching, gnawing, etc. We could have tolerated that, but one morning when I went outside to check and see if it was just the squirrels on the roof and not some drunken off season Santa, I noticed that the corners of the dormer were chewed off. The squirrels were eating our House. As in your case, the Mrs. declared war and appointed me General. We tried all the traps and other stuff you tried and then some (including large plastic owls and bags of mothballs hung around outside). As academics, we even tried forming a committee with the squirrels to talk about our issues. But they wouldn't participate in the negotiations. Nothing worked. Finally, we decided to use violence. Our anti-gun policy be damned. They were after all destroying our house. We went down to the Walmart and bought a New England Arms 20 guage single shot shotgun. (You could still buy guns and some Walmarts then.) My son came to visit and gave me some training, especially how to correct for the gun shooting slightly high. My neighbor who's very proficient with guns, joined the campaign. We waged total war. To cut this thing off so I won't write into next week, we won. We didn't completely eliminate the squirrels but the population was considerably reduced (disposal details will be supplied only to those with UASA--United Anti Squirrel Army--credentials). We repaired the dormer and got on with our lives. There are still plenty of squirrels but they seem friendlier these days. But what's bothering me now is chipmunks. I've heard they can burrow under your foundation and weaken your whole house. I've got my eye on them with their pretty brown fur and their cute little black stripes and they're looking back at me with their big loveable Alvin eyes. But I've already got blood on my hands and one day they're gonna push me over the edge.
ReplyDeleteDapper Dan...Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteThat deserves a post! Nyuk...
Thanks for the post Andy. And for editing in the paragraph breaks. Tree rats get my blood boiling to the point I forget all about those clear writing rules!
ReplyDeleteBTW, I'd like that file of funny restaurant pics but I couldn't make the computer letter thingy work, so here's my email if you can send them that way.
djewell88@hotmail.com.
If that won't work, no harm.
Hmmm. No one touched this: I'm wondering if us "Birthers" sound just as "Crazy" as the "Truthers."
ReplyDeleteShort answer: Yes.
I like Willie's music, too... and his work with his buds from the early Austin/Outlaw days. I was with him when he supported Kinky Friedman for gub'nor and I admire some of his activism, like Farm Aid. We part company when it comes to Kucinich and his other dumb-ass Lefty causes.
I generally try to keep music and politics separated (e.g., Ronstadt) and that's the case with Willie. I'd still like to party with him, tho.
And then there's this senility thing to look forward to! Yes!
The rest of this post was good, too... especially the volcano ransom note. ;-)
Hey Buck! "Short answer: Yes!" Nyuk!
ReplyDeleteI guess I've got to call myself a "birther," since that's the recognized term. I was ringing my little bell about it all BEFORE the election. I'll still make note of it once in a while, just in case the truth ever comes out. I'll be able to say, "I told y'all so!"
But, if it is ever discovered that Obama really was born in Hawaii, I'll be the first to raise my hand and admit my wrongness.
However, AFTER the election, I figured that it would be better for folks not to pursue it. I can not imagine the national gut-wrench that would occur. Better to just render him a powerless one-termer if we can. But, I can't resist from time to time mentioning it.
Willie's good, ain't he? A rare talent, and from what I understand, a real decent Joe.
Well... I predict (and fervently HOPE) The One will be a One-Term Wonder. As in: "I wonder how he got elected, to begin with."
ReplyDelete