Monday, July 5, 2010

Monday afternoon junk. Signs, Ring Tones, Weigh-Ins, and Crap...

Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

So, what's been going on around Andy's Place?  Well, I'm glad you asked!  (Note:  This is gonna be one of those long, rambling posts with really not much point to it, but there are a couple of things I'm gonna show y'all that you might find at least somewhat interesting.  So, I would set my expectation level at "mediocre" right now if I were you...that is, if you continue to read on.  You're welcome.)

Signs -

Nyuk!  #3 son (our Soldier), and his buddy Robby have been pals for a long, long time.  They've been best buds at least back since Junior High.  And that suits me just fine!  Robby's one of the good guys.  He's got good folks, is a hard worker, a biker, a sharp and respectful young man, and a patriot (he's in college now, and is soon to join up with the US Marines).

The other day #3 son got a call from Robby.  They were gonna hook up later that evening and work on some project of some type (they're always working on some type of automotive equipment or something).

Robby:  Dude, we're at Walmart.  Do you need me to pick up anything for you while I'm here?

#3 son:  Yeah, pick me up a "For Sale" sign for my Harley (He's got it up for sale).  

Robby:  Will do.

#3 son had a big grin on his face when he told me, "Dad, you ought to see this 'For Sale' sign Robby picked up for my Harley."

I went by over there this morning where he's got it parked and took a picture.  Nyuk!  I'm sure the tough biker dudes are gonna be impressed!  (I blanked out Phil's phone number, so as to protect the innocent, but if you're interested in an '85 Ironhead Sportster I'll pass his number to you).

Don't you just love good pals?  I hope they stay friends forever, and don't lose that closeness with each other like I have with so many of the best buddies of my youth.

Speaking of signs...

This is one I stole off the worldwide computer yesterday.  I want one!

Ring tones -

Now, I still do not have a cellular telephone.  Perhaps I will one day.  But, for all y'all that do, and like to monkey around with your ring tone, our buddy Inno has a great one!  It made me giggle like a little schoolgirl.

That's probably about all you will find somewhat interesting, but I've got some more junk...

Weigh in -

When I got out of bed this morning, I didn't have a shirt on, and only my underwear.  I happened to catch sight of myself in the rather large mirror that is above the dresser, and I thought, "Dang look like a skeleton or something."  Now, it has been a long time since I weighed myself.  In the Summer, I normally drop a pound or two, due to all the outside work I I really don't get hungry in the Summer.  I guess it's the heat or something.  But, I will often forget until close to bed time that I haven't eaten anything all day.  In fact, I will occasionally make myself eat something in the morning even when I'm not hungry, if I know I've got a strenuous day ahead.

I had noticed (and The Mrs. had made note often lately) that my old working shorts were dragging butt like some negro kid down on Sprague.  And, I did get a new pair of shorts for Father's Day that were 30's.  My old ones were 32, so I figured I'd never be able to squeeze in to these new ones.  But I was wrong.  They fit just fine.  So, I knew I'd probably just dropped my usual Summer pound or two.  But, I decided to weigh in this morning.  I normally go about 145...sometimes a little more, and occasionally a little less.

I hit the scales this am, and was shocked!  137.  Really.  I thought, "Dang...I gotta remember to eat more often."  (Still got the moobs, though.  Sigh...)

Independence Day - 

When I woke up yesterday morning I went outside to feed Sadie.  She had been inside a good bit of the night, due to the fact that she almost busted down the back door trying to flee all the firework maniacs in the 'hood.  When I went outside, the first thing I said to myself was, "Andy, this place looks like crap!"

And, I was right.  Man, it looked like somebody that lived around here did not give a tinker's dang about nuthin!  Now, I am going to lay it off on the fact that we had such a long stretch of unusually hot, extremely dry weather that kinda put my DOGAS down in the subzero range.  The grass didn't grow for weeks, and then all of a sudden The Good Lord smiled upon us with bucket fulls of God Water for many days!

Thank you, Lord!  It was glorious, but man it sure did help make this place look even crappier than it already does.  I mean, (well, I don't even want to describe it).  Suffice it to say that Andy's Place, and Daddy's apartments looked even crappier than usual. 

So, as I went out to the garden to harvest the morning okra I took a look in the garage, and I thought, "Andy's garage looks like crap!"

And, I was right.  Jeepers, all the crap and leaves, and grass clippings, and old useless bicycles, and crap just sitting around really made me ashamed.  Not to mention all the CRAP that was sitting around on the outside of the garage. looked like some kind of homeless folks under a bridge or something.

Crap everywhere!  So, I determined in my mind that I was gonna do something about this.  Our 'hood ain't the fanciest place on the planet, but my neighbors are my friends, and they all do a pretty darn good job of keeping their places nice.  My former days of fashioning Andy's Place as the nicest place on our street are now long gone.  We've had some really good folks purchase some of the old houses here and they have all done quite a good prideful job of renovating, cleaning up, and maintaining their places.  So, I owe it to them to not let my place stay in this state of crappiness.

So to make a long story even longer, I decided that I was gonna sharpen up the lawns, dig crap out of the flowerbeds, and clean out the garage as my Independence Day celebration.  Now, Momma had planned a big deal out at their house for a 4th Celebration.  I knew that there was no way that I could possibly get all done that I planned, and also get out there to Momma & Daddy's.  So, I weighed my options.  I could either go out there and watch everybody eat weenies, or I could stay home and work like an animal all day (and hear about it for the next several months from my Momma about how "You didn't show up on The 4th, so you missed all this, that, the other thing, etc...").

But, the MAN in me took over, and I chose the mission of getting this place in a semblance of order, and scraping at least one layer of crap off of this crappy looking place.  And, that's exactly what I did.  I worked like a dang animal for hours around here.

I'll swear, this is one crappy place!  I had a couple of big pieces of metal in the garage that I didn't know what to do with.  So, I decided to just put them back behind the shop in the back yard until I could figure it out.  Now, in our back yard we have a very nice dog kennel.  It really is nice, if you need a dog kennel.  It is about 15' x 12',  has a concrete slab, and a 6' high fence with a double gate on it.

Do you see the dog kennel there?  No?  Well, of course you don't.  When we moved to this place 14 years ago there was this small shrub that was planted between the house and the kennel.  It was probably about 4 feet around in size.  Over the years I've thought about pruning the thing (I don't even know what it is), but it occurred to me that if I just let it grow, it might one day obscure the view of the chain link fenced dog kennel (that I have no use for), and the even crappier looking place behind mine.

I'm a genius.  The thing is about 20 feet wide now, and I estimate about 10 feet high.

BTW...If y'all know what that big old shrub deal is, please let me know.  Here is a closer up picture of it.

And here's even a little closer look at the leaves and crap.  Maybe you know what it is.

Anyway, trust me, there is a dog kennel behind there.  As I was dragging all the metal crap from the garage to throw back behind the shop I noticed that the danggone spot between the kennel and the back fence just looked like crap!  I mean, like a crappy jungle of crap!  Lord have mercy...vines, poison ivy, old broken pecan limbs.  It's the old deal of "out of sight, out of mind," I guess. 

Crap!  Crap!  Crap, I tell ya'!  So, with my mission oriented self in high gear I set about the task of cleaning out all that crappy crap.

So, to make an unbearably long story short...I got it all done.  Yard trimmed, weed-eated, blowed sidewalks, every miserable miscreant's trash they throw while driving or walking down the street picked up, garage clean and in order, etc.  I've still got a bathtub sitting in the back yard, though.

Ooooops!  I had forgot until just now that I have not shown y'all the pictures of me and Phil removing the 700 pound bathtub from the old garage apartment that we are renovating.  Y'all remind me to do that...okay?

Speaking of the old garage apartment.  I am removing the old natural gas wall heater from the bathroom, and gonna install one of those light/vent/heat deals instead.  I gotta go cap off the gas to it, and jerk it out throw all the old oak plank flooring out the window, and get ready to install the new plywood flooring which Two Dogs instructed me the best way how to (via computer letter).

Ooooh!  Before I go do that, and put y'all out of y'all's misery, The Mrs. has baked a pie for after dinner tonight (trust me, I'm gonna eat).  A friend of hers gave her the recipe for a "Strawberry Blueberry Cheesecake Pie."  It's got fresh strawberries, blueberries that she and FDIL picked the other morning, and I'm assuming some stuff you use to make cheesecake...all baked up in a pie shell.  It's sitting here in the office as I type, and it smells just heavenly.

This is just stage II.  It will be topped with Strawberry Jelly, Whipped Topping, and fresh Strawberries.

I'll let  y'all know if it's any good or not.

Well look, y'all have a great evening!  I gotta go get this work done in the apartment now.  I love y'all!  I mean, I love all of y'all a lot...


  1. The folks from the Guinness Book of World Records will be in touch - you've smashed the old record for "most uses of the word 'crap' in a single blog post."


  2. Andy! Get off the amphetimines before it's too late!

    Ooh, pie.

  3. P.S. -- LOVE the For Sale sign! Yellow bunnies are the best! Especially for young Marines and biker guys.

  4. Love that for sale sign! Aren't friends wonderful?

  5. Hmmm. Crap - I don't know where to begin! But I'm glad y'all got rid of the crap, even tho you chose a crappy day for which to do that sorta crap. I mean... yesterday was all about beer. And fireworks. And burgers and hot dogs and other crap on the grill. Not hauling off crap and getting rid of crap and other such ummm... stuff.

    But I understand the satisfaction of gettin' that sorta crap done. I mean, it piles up and you just NEED to do it... regardless of the crap you'll get for missin' the fambly get together.

    Now that pie AIN'T crap! Especially the finished pitchur of same in the post above. I DO so envy you, and all that crap. I mean that.

    Hey... you weigh ten pounds more than I do. But we have the same waist size at 30" and some other crap, too. But I have more hair.

    I hope your Monday was more relaxing... ;-)

  6. Inno: I always knew I'd be famous for something. "CRAP" is just about right, my friend...just about right.

    Jim & Moogie: These two young men REALLY keep me smiling. Great friends. And great men...

    Buck: That is the crappiest comment that this crappy blog has EVER experienced. Congratulations! Perhaps when the Guiness World Book people get here, I can lobby for a double dip on "CRAP." I will be sure to give you credik!

  7. Dude, I know exactly what you mean about the gangsta' pants, I have got that going on myself.

    You must be all of 5'NUTTIN', though.

  8. Paul, 5'9" at my peak. About 5' 8" now. It's the'll grow back.

  9. Andy, the scientific name for that big bush is a crapodofus.:-)

    You da man but yo Mamma is gonna be on your back end for the next few months about missing that Independence Day celebration.

    I'm waiting with baited breath on that pic of the 700 pound tub.

    Me oh my, I do love pie. This one looks mighty fine in this form or all fancied up with strawberries and that creamy top.


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?