Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...
(That opening line is getting kinda' lame, huh? Maybe I need to come up with something new. I'll study on it)
Well, as most of y'all know, I had my first big "Evaluation" today on my new job. I'll swear, this junk is all foreign to me. Just to recap, I worked about 16 years in a family biniss, and the bulk of the rest of my almost 51 years for myself. So, this going to work for "The Man" is really an odd stance for an old guy.
So, when I found out I was gonna have an "Evaluation" today I was nervous. I'll admit it. I was.
The results are in.
"ANDY, YOU SUCK!!! I CAN NOT IMAGINE ANY SCENARIO UNDER WHICH YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN HIRED TO WORK FOR THIS COMPANY! YOU SUCK! YOU REALLY, REALLY SUCK!
GO CUT GRASS FOR A LIVING, OR BEG FOR QUARTERS FROM FOLKS WITH NICE CLOTHES THAT ARE ASKEERED OF YOU BECAUSE YOU STINK LIKE THE UNDERPASS YOU CALL HOME, AND WILL GIVE YOU QUARTERS TO MAKE YOU GO AWAY AND NOT MUG THEM!
AND IF I FORGOT TO MENTION IT..."ANDY, YOU SUCK!!!"
Well, it wasn't really all that bad. But, that's what it felt like when I got finished being "Evaluated" this morning.
I'll tell y'all, this whole going back to real life work deal is quite an adjustment.
Heck, I don't think I've ever been "Evaluated" by anybody. Except maybe by The Mrs. I mean, she does that every day, and I usually come up lacking. But, to have somebody else doing the evaluating is like really weird. And strange. And weird.
Just sayin'...
Truth is that after lunch, my boss-lady made a point to stop by and tell me that I had done very well, and that she was proud of my results. I'm reckoning that it makes her look good with her boss-man, and she was proud behind it because she didn't look like a Dufus for keeping me around for one whole week.
Of course, I am such a smartass that I had to push the envelope. So, she had handed me a big long sheet right before I took my lunch break with the "Evaluation" breakdown. I did not take time to look at it before lunch, as I had my own other biniss stuff to deal with, and other junk on my break, so I just threw it on my desk, figuring I'd look at it later. As I went over the breakdown I discovered that she had made some errors about what was said, and what was not.
The cool thing about this was that ALL of her errors were in my favor. But, being the smartass that I am I could not let the opportunity pass me by.
She: "Andy, you did a fabulous job on the 'Evaluation.' Really good! I've only seen one or two better than this."
Me: "Thanks! That is very encouraging. But, you do realize that I was wrong about a few things that you didn't make note of, don't you?"
She: "Really?"
Me: "Yes ma'am."
She: "Show me."
So after a couple of minutes of showing her the items that I was wrong about that she had missed, she asked me if she would like me to revise her "Evaluation" to reflect my wrongness.
I told her that it was all up to her to decide, seeing as she is my boss-lady while I am working for The Man. But, not when I'm not there...that job belongs to The Mrs. when I'm not there.
She started laughing. And laughing. Evidently, that hit the switch on her Giggle-Box (and the reset button is not appropriate to be accessed in the workplace as I understand) so I just waited for the crank to wind down. It finally did, and my boss-lady returned to boss-lady.
So, there is good news, and bad news.
The good news is that I did not get fired after my first "Evaluation," and I get to return to work tomorrow.
The bad news is that I have to get up and return to work tomorrow.
Crud! It is 11:00 pm Central Daylight Time. This going back to real life work deal sure messes up your internal clock. I am normally at least two hours familiar with the Sandman by now.
I love y'all, and I'll see y'all tomorrow. Probably.
Monday, August 23, 2010
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Yeah, evaluations suck.
ReplyDeleteThey keep changing them at the Evil Corporation ™ where I work.
I quit worrying about them a long time ago. I was looking for work when I got that job, and I can just as easily be looking for work when I leave it.
Yeah, evaluations suck.
ReplyDeleteNOW YOU TELL ME! Nyuk...
The thing is that I felt like I was screwing the pooch during the whole deal, only to find out later that I was not.
I guess it is "unfamiliarity" with the whole shebang that's got me bumfuzzled here initially. I'm trusting that I'll get to your stage of corporate maturity eventually. Or, at least in your ballpark of maturity.
I know one thing...the next one isn't gonna trouble me as much as the first one.
I haven't been in the work place now for close to 20 years. If Toby evaluated my "farmhand" job, I would be fired for sure. But I do remember the days of teacher evaluations or dog and pony shows to be more to the point. I hated them. Some visits to my classroom were planned - in other words - put on a good show. Some evaluations were surprise visits. No matter what, they have to find something negative to say to justify their jobs. One ass-principal said that my slacks made me look too young (I was 26, and her slacks looked like she bought them at Goodwill). The funny part was that everyone knew who could teach and who could not, but rarely does a teacher get fired
ReplyDeleteLou, that's funny! Thanks for the early am chuckle. Too young...
ReplyDeleteNyuk...
Heh, heh. Well, you got through it and that is what matters.
ReplyDeleteFor years I taught SAT prep. Over time, the company started to move from "a bunch of college kids" to something more in the corporate image. Anyway, toward the end of my time, they started with official evaluations. Before that, we just had clients evaluate us, which was reasonably ok. On the other hand, you could wind up in a position where you rec'd a poor eval when the kid didn't do a damn thing you told him and the parents were informed of this all along. I mean, we're tutors, not magicians.
Anyway, when they brought on the official ones, we also had to complete a self-evaluation beforehand. Now smartass is something we must have in common. I don't remember all the questions and my responses, but one was "What could you do to improve your customer service?" My answer: Arrive in black-tie bearing a tray of still-warm, home-baked cookies."
We had to rate ourselves on a scale of 1-9 in a bunch of categories, with 5 being "meets expectations." Of course, I gave myself all 9s. Hell with 'em. Heh, heh.
Here's the funny thing. The company gave me an 8/9 - pretty good, no? Even so, I could see the writing on the wall just from the new vibe at the place. Sure enough, that marked the beginning of the end, mostly because:
After 10 years, my rate had gone too high. they could hire a new college kid for less than half of what they were paying me.
And, that new college kid would look like a smart, Ivy-leaguer, not a fat, old guy with gray in his beard. Image, image....
Still, I'm glad I didn't brown nose 'em on my self-eval. I'd regret it now if I'd exerted myself to try and avoid the inevitable.
Well anyway, hope your new thing works out for you. A cold one at day's end always helps ;-)
You guys are making me giggle here. Cricket, I'm certainly learning a bunch for an old gray-haired guy who thought he knew just about everything.
ReplyDeleteMan...I'm chuckling, and I can't stop. Thanks for the input. Nyuk...
I'll ditto on the "evaluations suck" thing. I used to think they sucked when I was a young lawyer -- I dreaded having that behind-closed-doors session with a big bad partner. (Especially with one particular big bad partner -- he was the very definition of "bad." I should've sued his rear end.)
ReplyDeleteThen I entered the world of academia. In the ivory tower, you're evaluated every time you turn around! Peer review, student evaluations, self-evaluation and "improvement plans." Lordy -- sometimes you feared going to the ladies' room for fear you'd have to evaluate your performance!
I prefer being a volunteer -- the pay sucks, but you usually get praised (or at least thanked!)_ instead of having to go through an inquisition.
Glad you're over the hump, though.
I do miss Humpday Hotties, though. Sometimes.
Got her giggle box turned over. Heh. Great image.
Yeah... evals are FUN, aren't they? I used to have mixed emotions about evals in the Air Force... once you reach a certain level they become "write your own" affairs, i.e., the boss comes up and sez "your APR/OER is due, gimmee some bullets"... which is code for "write it." The system is corrupt when it gets to that point. That only applies for normal-to-excellent performers, tho. Screw up and the management WILL write an eval themselves. You don't want that...
ReplyDeleteIt was all over the map in the civilian world for me, tho... some were worthwhile, some were wastes of time and money. ALL of 'em sucked.
Evaluations are so subjective.
ReplyDeleteOne November, I gave a new teacher two folders of student work I had used for a previous year's goal.
She was teaching my old curriculum,and needed a measurable goal statement, with how it would be accomplished.
After her evaluation in April, she returned the projects to me and told me her eval scores...they were even better than mine had been, and she said the principle loved the exemplars.
Problem was... she hadn't used any of them...just bull shitted him.
... pissed me off.
Well, I can only say that you can't possibly get the full measure of the pain and suffering of employee evaluations until you have to DO THEM on other people....
ReplyDeleteSomehow you have to navigate the process in such a way that you maintain your ability to work with the person while providing them with effective feedback about both their strengths and weaknesses. I've been "the boss" many, many times in my career, and there are few things I enjoy less than employee evaluations.
One thing I enjoy less is working out salary increases and bonuses based on the results of those evaluations...
BTW, I just had my own mid-year evaluation yesterday. Coincidental that is... I told my boss much the same thing you did...
She's a wonderful boss though. I could not ask for a better boss.