Friday, September 24, 2010

Da' Gaaammmzzz..


Okay, since I have had hundreds of three regular visitors quiz me about my perdictioneness about what will happen tomorrow when the Lads of Autumn take the field tomorrow in The Only Sport That Really Matters®, I will tell y'all.

The marquis marquee (thanks, Buck) game is, of course, 'Bama v. Arkansas. 

Miss Alabama, 2010

Miss Arkansas, 2010

(images courtesy of Dr. Jill (A huge Vol fan).  Don't blame me.  Just sayin'...)

This is the first big test for any member of The Championship Conference this season. Sure, 'Bama played JoePa, and everybody made a big deal about it.  However, it must always be noted that even though I love Joe, he corches in PencilNeckia, and plays in a conference that nobody takes least not people that truly understand the game.

But, before I get to that, I must address something.  I have been reading Hog & Elephant fans whining because COLLEGE GAMEDAY chose to head to the blue turf stadium for their little TV show that nobody watches.

C'mon!  All of y'all in Fayetteville & Tuscaloosa (especially in Fayetteville) should be on your knees thanking God that the ex-spurts decided to mosey on up north.  Jeepers, think about it.  Do you really want Krik Streikherb in your town?  Really?

Dry up!

That being said, I am picking 'Bama (on the road) 32 - Hogs 12.  Yep.  'Bama is just that good.  I may be even too generous to the Hogs in my perdiction.  It could be even worse, depending on how long it takes The Tide to rattle Mallett, or to get Ingram comfortably in the game.  The guy (Ingram) is a mule.  And, a moose.  And, maybe some kind of alien dropped from the Planet Brontosaurus just in time to destroy the hopes of any other team that they might somehow manage to win a National Championship.  Facts iz facts.

So, let's get on back to Boyseeee v. Oregon State.  The boys just barely beat Virginia Tech (I thought VT suspended their program after the big tragedy), and walked all over Wyoming (I thought Wyoming suspended their program after Darth Cheney sold his soul to Halliburton...guess I was wrong).  So, I am going to go with O-State.  I am of the firm belief that boyseeee is not nearly as good as they think they are, and even less so than all the whiners that tinkle in their pants because "it sucks that you can't get in the national championship if you aren't in a major conference."


The reason that you can not is because you don't play anybody.  If you seriously want to contend for a College Football Championship, join the SEC.  Beg your way in.  But, until you have to play Flarda, LSU, 'Bama, Auburn, Arkansas, and even The miserable Klan year in and year out to prove yourself...

As long as your schedule includes Louisiana Tech, Idaho, NM State, Toledo, Fresno State, Harwayiar, Nevada, and Utah State, you can not be seriously considered as worthy of a National Championship.

Sorry.  Dry up.  

Oregon State will beat the little boise by 4, and put to bed for this season all the whimpering of the wannabes.  I'm thinking O State 23 - boise 19.

So, I'm saying that I am extremely happy that this will be the first Saturday of this season that I will be able to watch Da' Gaaammmmzzz with a clear, extremely rested brain.

Oh yeah, we must deal with LSU v. WV.  My beloved Tigers will win by at least 14.  Even though we've got some suckiness in the bag, there is no way to break it all out agin' West Virginny.  I'm pegging it at 27-13.  Us.


  1. Some moron Beaver Boosters ponied up big cash (I'm hearin' estimates of $5k to $12k) to PAINT OUR PRACTICE FIELD BLUE. OMG. I hope you're right about the smurfs being less awesome than advertised. 'Cuz if we are that dumb and still lose, I, I, I dunno. I think I'll become a soccer fan.

    So far the ecofreaks haven't whined about any blue runoff getting into a stream and choking the salamanders. I think that's the biggest surprise of all.

  2. I had put a little sumpin' in a comment over at my place about the EPA and Department of the Interior about your blue chemical spill, Inno, but, being the genteel southern lady I am, I deleted it. Until now.

    And. So. Andy's suckin' up to Inno and dismissing the majestic Hawgs. 'Bama is tough, all right, but we may just have a surprise up our tusks. And you're probably right about COLLEGE GAMEDAY's poor decision-making. CBS should do us right.

    Now, about LSU. That could be a good game, too, but it's in the mountains! The Bayou Kitty Kats aren't accustomed to breathung rarefied air and jogging up and down hills. Just ask my car when it gets above sea level. They just might tucker out in the second half. It'll be a good game to watch, though, since we don't have a dog in the hunt. We'll probably pull for the SEC, and the Pussycats.

    And, what?!?! You couldn't find a pic of the Arkansas Homecoming Queen?!?!

  3. Moogie: I did have one of the Homecoming Queen, but it was too over the top for this family friendly blog.

    We will destroy WV, and only allow them a few points when the fourth string does moppin' up duty. We do belong to The Championship Conference, and don't pant even at altitude.

    Inno: Trust me, I am right. I always am. I am really proud for y'all that the environuts have not yet filed suit...and that someone (probably an alum) cares enough to paint y'all's field (however misguided, and of no value it is).

    I mean, it's just football. Crud! Did I really just type that? Forget that. Yeah, y'all will win, and it will be a big ol' "SHOCKER" to the sports media. But, not to me...boysee ain't that good, and this will be the ONLY opportunity for a while to prove it to the panting sportswriting masses.

    Don't get me wrong. I'd love to see a playoff system put in place so that teams like boyseee can get their shot. I mean, anything can happen. But fax is fax. And, I'm just kinda' sick and dang tired of people thinking that on a weekly basis a team like boyseee could stand up against hosses.

    Just sayin'...

  4. Well, color me embarrassed, Andy. I just assumed that the game was in Byrdland, but it's apparently at Death Valley. That changes some things. Us Ridge Runner folk don't do too well in the heat. Trust me on this one. The Kitties might pull it off.

  5. At least the Bammeroid cheerleaders are getting better looking.

  6. Ahem. That would be marquee game. Marquises play soccer... err... futbol.

    -- Resident Pedant, out.

  7. GO HOGS GO! I spent my formative years in Northwest AR. Beautiful area. Used to go fishing with my Grandad at Beaver Lake and Hickory Creek. Very good times ;-)

  8. Moogie: I have been so out of the loop that I did not know for sure if we were home, or away. Regardless, we will win this one.

    Paul: Not all of them are that good looking.

    Buck: Fixed it! Thanks.

    Red: I'm afeared they face too mighty a foe. But you are right. It is beautiful country...spent a lot of time there myself.

  9. After seeing them hot pix, I'm glad that Georgia and Misses Sippi State both suck this year. Otherwise, I'd hate to see what you'd've posted.

    And, no, this is not a request for you to do that. Seriously. Don't.

  10. Ewwww Pig Sooooeeee! Applies to both photos! :) I know, I know, FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?