Saturday, September 25, 2010



Okay, so I have a real weekend off.  I had big plans for Saturday, which were limited to sleeping late, and sitting on my rear end watching college football.

Y'all might remember vaguely me telling you about renovating our upstairs garage apartment for guests.  Yeah, I still haven't gotten around to showing y'all pictures of the work yet, but I will.  You might remember the 2,000 pound bathtub removal, and the ancient oak bathroom floor with four million nails.  In each plank.

Well, I finally got around to replacing that floor with plywood (once again, with advice from Two Dogs, who knows all about construction, and plumbing, and junk), and figured I'd go ahead on and set the toilet back in so that while I'm working up there I don't have to run downstairs, or go stand on the landing to do my business.  So, Friday night I set it back in, and got everything hooked up.  The old toilet is in good shape, but evidently sitting up so long, the neck that the flapper rests on leaks by.  I had put a new flapper, but that didn't do the trick.  So, I decide to replace the whole neck deal.  The old bolts that attach the tank to the bowl were so rusted that they would not loosen, so me and Mr. Hacksaw had us a meeting yesterday evening, and took care of that.

So, early this a.m. I head off to the hardware store for new tank bolts.  Get home, mission accomplished.  Well not so fast...the toilet had been sitting unused for a long, long time, so of course the fill valve was stuck, and would not shut off.

So, back to the sto' for a new fill valve.  Mission accomplished.  I am finished with crappers for today.

Well, not so fast.  My little dead widow lady's sister called me while I was in the midst of plumbing and asked if I'd mind cutting the grass one more time this season.  I certainly did not mind, and decided that while I was rusty, and sweaty I'd go ahead on over there and do it, seeing as I had plenty of time before football.  As I am about to leave, one of the renters comes hollerin', "Andy, my toilet is stopped up, and water is running everywhere!  Do you have a plunger?"

Now, first let me say that anyone that has three small children, and lives in an upstairs apartment should be required by law to own a plunger.  I mean, what kind of moron does not keep a plunger by the crapper for Justin Case?  So, I go running in my house, grab a plunger, and race upstairs to find a disastrous flood of Biblical proportions.  Water is still running out of the tank...Moron did not think to shut the water off, and is standing ankle deep with a string mop working valiantly.


What had happened was the pot was sure enough stopped up, but the flapper was stuck open.


So, we got the crap unstuck, and swirlie-doo'ed down the drain, and I went to observe what I knew was likely to be a horrific scene.  Ya' see, the bathroom in that upstairs apartment sits right over the room in my Dad's Office beneath that Momma does all of her arts and crafts work.  It is, shall we say, FULL OF JUNK THAT IS IMPORTANT TO MY MOMMA.

Sure enough, water is pouring through the ceiling, and all Momma's junk is soaked.  It would be hard to describe to you exactly the enormous amount of art supplies, artwork, pieces in progress, paperwork, etc. are contained in that room...and everything is soaked.

And, the good news is that they are out of town until next week.  

Crap!  I can't just leave it like that.



  1. Dude! I thought my day was off to a rough start, but I'm going to have to go ahead and shut up, 'cuz you got me whupped by a light-year.

  2. Feh, whatever. We do exactly what we have to do because that is what we do. And that is why no one owns a plunger, either.

  3. Sounds like you've been hit with Murphy's law more than once today!

  4. Words fail, so I'll just borrow yours: Crap!

    At least it sounds like there was none of that in various and sundry toilets.

    You're a good son!

  5. Aiiieee. You are well and truly snake-bit today. I hope stuff gets better. And dries out.

  6. What all y'all said! But, it's behind me now. Paul, I told Moron that if he did not go to the Dollar Store and purchase a plunger that he would be evicted...three kids and all.

    Moogie, I am not a good son. Just the son of extremely good parents.

  7. First things first Andy....Momma's better take care of that first thing or you will be hanged (yep, I got me one of them thar PhD's) at dawn the day after they return home. Ifin it's any consolation, UT is lookin' terrible this afternoon!:) Hope you get to relax and watch some football...the spice of life! Jillybean

  8. Okay, I'm a Hawg fan for the next 3 hours.

  9. Call them thar Hawgs Jim ......Ewwwww Pig Sooooiieeeeee! RAZORBACKS! (Spent seven years in the natural state -- I like me some Hawgs too! More than 3 hours- even when they play UT I secretly call the hawgs ...hope you can keep a secret)

  10. It should be legal to discriminate against renting to morons. I say administer an IQ test and anyone that comes in under, say, 85, don't rent to. Or have them prove to your satisfaction that they can unplug a toilet with a plunger and shut off the water.

  11. Jill, I got it did! I know what's what, and what's NOT!


    Dave, no truer words. NONE!


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?