Thursday, October 21, 2010

You're about to see something that NOBODY has seen in 26 years!


And I know that you can't barely wait!

Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

I guess I should have titled this post "Thursday Afternoon Junk," but that didn't seem quite exciting enough to tantalize you to read it.  And, there's gonna be some really exciting junk in here, so I wanted to make sure I'd capture your attention.


To quote a line from my favorite film of all time (which I have now on DVD, and watch at least twice a week), "Oooooohhhhh...that's the purdiest waaaaaaaaaatch!"

Yep, Andy bought a watch today.  Sure, I'm kidding about that being the purdiest watch I've ever seen.  But, I actually had to go get me one.  Believe this or not:

I wore a watch back in High School.  Heck, it was probably one of Daddy's old self-winders or something...I can't remember.  But, The Mrs. bought me a beautiful fake gold Seiko in 1979 as a wedding present.  It was WAY cool.  It had a "clock face," like all watches did at the time, and it was so WAY cool, because it worked off of a battery.  I mean, you didn't have to wind it, or shake your wrist around to make it wind was COOL!

Man, I loved that watch!  It just looked so expensive!!!  And honestly, it was.  I think she paid about $200 for it at the time, which was big bucks for a gal making $2.75 an hour working part time.  I felt like a King wearing that fancy Seiko (I think it's Jap...but don't quote me) on my extremely hot left wrist.

Anyway, when I was about 25 years old the battery finally died.  It did.  You know, batteries don't last forever.  So, I took it off and put it in my jewelry box...along with my High School class ring, and those really neat topaz cuff links, and tie tack that Momma made me wear to church.  Actually, those items are still all in that jewelry box...and the Seiko is still awaiting a new battery.

Nyuk!  I call it a "jewelry box," but it's just really a Brut powder can deal that Momma glued red felt inside.  There's also a money-clip that my Granddaddy gave me in there.  Who uses "money clips?"  And, there is also the REAL Gold and Sapphire ring that Granddaddy gave me off his hand in the hospital just a day before he passed on to Heaven in November of 1981. He and I were both September babies, and he always joked with me about how I was "only three days older" than him.

God, I miss him!  I miss him every day.

Regardless, I have not worn a watch in 26 years.  And, I have never been late to anything!!!

Just sayin'...

Anyway, at the Orientation for my new part time job, I got no clue of this.  But, at my Departmental Orientation on Wednesday, it became abundantly clear that Andy was gonna have to purchase a wristwatch.  My job requires doing specific tasks at exact times throughout the day, and also making incident reports, etc., that must be noted at precise times.  In other words, "...'bout noon" ain't gonna cut it.

Let me tell y'all...The WalMart has some purdy watches!  They do.  Now, I liked me this really purdy regular clock-faced gold-looking one with a nice black band.  But, I am gonna have to run my scheduled tasks on, and note things by military time.  Now, I'm not completely ignurnt.  I know that 1425 is really 2:25 pm, and that 1600 is 8:00 pm, etc.  But, I figured I'd just make it easy on myself and buy an electronic watch that you could set up for 24 hour read-out.  Seeing as I do not plan to wear it any other time than on the job, the fancy electronic watch (with a light up face, stopwatch, and alarm, btw) seemed to be the way to go.

I mean, they were both $9.88 (that's over 10 bucks with tax), so I went the easy route.   So, I am now the proud owner of a chink electronic timepiece!  Crud, I hate wearing a watch.  I put that thing on, and it felt like I was in handcuffs.  But, at least I don't have to wear a necktie...which feels like a noose.

So, now I've got a question for y'all regular, experienced wristwatch wearers.  Is it gay to do the under-wrist deal?

Is this gay?

I'm really curious.  I mean, I remember a bunch of old ladies that wore watches this way.  And, I remember a couple of male teachers in the way back that did.  I always thought it was kind of pansified, but after trying it out, it seems quite utilitarian.  It seems that one can more easily access their chink timepiece doing the under-wrist deal.  So, I'm thinking I'll wear it that way.

If it's not gay...

Let's see what else we got.

Here's a good cartoon I stole off somebody, but can't remember who it was.

Let's see what else we got.

Oh yeah...Two Dogs has this really cool Wibiya bar at the bottom of his blog.  I have just liked the heck out of that thing since the first time I saw it.  It's really cool...and you can link up to your photo gallery, your video gallery, your social networking sites, etc.  And, it's free, too!  The only problem is that I don't have a flicker, or photobucket, or The YouTube, or a real The Facebook deal to link up to.  So, it seems kinda' like overkill for this Titanic. 

But, I really do like the "translate" deal on it.  I do.  In fact, I've had a commentor or two suggest that I add a "translate widget," so that even folks that can't read American can be extremely bored.  I really like it, and it works good.  Just yesterday, I read one of Paul's posts in Chink...from start to finish, I did.

Here's what the Wibiya translate deal looks like.

As always, you'll have to click on it to get the big picture.

This was a post about Sarah Palin.  I know, because I can read chink.

Just sayin'...

What else we got?

Nyuk!  Here's a Halloween 'toon that Paul The Fireguy sent me.  Nyuk!

It says there that this was drawn by "Reynolds."  I didn't know that Glenn was an artist, too!  Learn something new every day.  Coulda' been Debbie, though.  She's pretty talented.

BTW:  Just as a follow-up to my American History quiz the other day, Garret Hobart was the 24th Vice President of the United States...and, the 6th Vice President to die in office at that time.  Just a couple of points here.  Everybody makes such a big deal about who the Veep nominee is, because he's just "one heartbeat away" from running the free world, and he has such a great influence on policy & everything.  Pshaw!  100 years from now, nobody will remember that Dick Cheney was the evil puppet master, or that Dan Quayle was retarded, or that Al Gore invented the internet (and AGW), or that Joe Biden is a buffoonish caricature of a life-long politician that gaffes more often than farts.

Fact is, 7 Veeps have died while in office...just one less than the eight Presidents that have.  And, if you take out the assassinations of Lincoln, Garfield, McKinley, and Kennedy, it's only four Presidents.

Keep your insurance paid up, Joe.

Just sayin...

And, let's wrap up the most boring post you've looked at this week with a video.  Theo posted a video with President Reagan telling Soviet jokes.  I liked it, but it was one of those stupid deals I can't figure out how to steal and post.  So, I went YouTubing, and found one very similar.

Man, I miss Ronnie.  My Granddaddy (the one that gave me the ring) thought that Reagan was gonna be the salvation of The Republic.  Maybe he was...for a while.

Well, enjoy it, and y'all have a great Thursday evening, okay?  BTW, I'm feeling a lot better today.  I really think I'm over the hump, and appreciate all y'all's kind concern, and good wishes.

I mean it.


  1. >>>Is this gay?

    Well, if you have to ask...

  2. @ innom: Bwuahahahahaha!

    @ Andy: It's not gay!

  3. Red - Yes it is!
    Andy, it's okay. If you want to wear your watch in a way that makes you look like a flaming homosexual, that is your business. I believe in 'Don't ask, don't tell, don't want to know."
    Glad you're feeling better!

  4. Depends. Does it have a stretchy band -- you know, like leg warmers? Or does it have the buckle, like a Puritan?

    Stretchy band -- teeny-bopper.

    Big ol' buckle -- teeny-Goth.

    Velcro? Gay.

    You're welcome.

  5. Moogie, ten bucks at the Walmart, I'm betting on Velcro . . .

  6. Andy... need to break up your posts man... too much in one post makes it hard to follow the comments. :)

    OK one thing at a time...

    Under-wrist watch wearing... I frequently wore my watches that way, when I wore a watch. I did so because I had a bad habit of crashing my watch into doorknobs or walls, with too many scratched, cracked or broken crystals, so I swapped it around. I don't give a cr*p about "gay" and my fashion-challenges are near legendary by now, so you shouldn't go by me.

    I use a money clip. I got tired of all of my good pants wearing out early because my wallet tore up the back pocket. So I started using a money clip instead. I'm about to dump the money clip and just use a rubber band or something because now the clip is starting to wear out my front pocket.

    Funny you should mention self-winding watches that once belonged to your dad. I have one of those too. I've also got watches with dead batteries residing in drawers and "jewelry boxes". I don't wear a watch now because I have to carry two cell phones and both of them have the time on them, so a watch is just redundant.

    For a long time after I quit wearing a watch I felt sorta wrist-naked. I found myself looking at my wrist. But I don't miss the watch at all anymore. I've got too much junk I carry around anyway, I don't need redundant functionality, especially redundant functionality that is already redundant from other gadgets...

  7. Okay, so at this purnt, Red is in the minority.

    Inno: What Red said (I mean about the Buwahahahahahahahaha deal...exactly what I was thinking.

    Jim: I am secure in my sexuality, and really don't care if I am perceived as a flaming homo. But honestly, those shoes I bought to do this job with REALLY DO make me look queer. So, I'm marking you down as a "don't do it, Andy" voter.

    Moogie: So, you're saying that I should go back and get me one of them snappy black vinyl bands to replace this gay velcro one. I saw them on the same rack with these expensive, luxurious watches.

    I reckon $1.99 is not too much to pay to be stylish. And, dispel any misconceptions about my sexuality...which I am very secure in, btw.

    I never thought of velcro as gay. I mean, I've enjoyed the benefits of it often. And, more than one little kid has needed it to secure his shoes, or backpack.


    You're right. It's gay. I think I'll just take the gay velcro band off, and stick the watch in my pocket. I'm so confused over this deal. Seriously, when you haven't worn a wristwatch in 26 years it can be quite disturbing to try to move forward.

    I mean, this is a new century...

  8. Cosmic, believe this or not...

    The last time I saw you face to face I remember you pulling out a money clip. Seriously, I do. In fact, that's why I threw in that "who uses a money clip" deal. I think the rubber band thing is a great idea.

    Actually, a guy with your wealth should carry a bank bag, or maybe be escorted by a Wells Fargo truck.

    And dangit! Crud! Dangit! It didn't cross my mind that I'd have a cell phone in my pocket. Heck, I probably just wasted over 10 bucks (with tax) on something I didn't need!!!

    But, it does have a cool alarm deal on it, which might be helpful somehow. I'll study on that.

    Yeah...the "self-winders" were the best. Daddy gave me one of his back in the day...showed me how to shake it just right to make sure it didn't crater. Memories...

  9. Wearing the watch that way is not gay, but looking at it to see the time with it that way is. Plus, I am the exact opposite of CC.

    Don't worry about looking homo, though. You'll be less likely to get in trouble that way, unless there are a bunch of fag-hags at work.

    Just saying.

  10. TD, you really aren't the exact opposite of CC. You two have more in common than you know. I mean, when it comes to anything other than fashion. I mean, I know that you are VERY appearance conscious, and all.

    You know, I'm trying to figure out now WHY I thought the backards watch deal looked gay, and I really couldn't remember. But a mental image of exactly what it takes to look at a watch from either angle leads me to think that maybe wearing it wrist up is even MORE gay than under wrist.

    Without thinking about it, check your watch both ways, and see "do you see what I see?"

  11. Yep, I was right, looking at it under wrist = limp wristed, just like holding your hand out in front of you with fingers outspread looking at your nails is a chick thing.

  12. Evidently I was not detailed enough in my explanation.

    You'll get it. You am iz a smart fellow, and it'll come to you.


  13. That was a long post, Andy. I think I dozed off somewhere in the middle.

    1600 is 4pm, BTW. Gay...if ya gotta ask.

    I stopped wearing a watch the day I retired from the Navy. With a cell phone on hand at all times, it seemed a bit redundant. I did have to purchase a Wally World special for the horse packing trips. Cell phones don't work in the wilderness.

  14. Oh, and I ain't talking about the pictures I posted. I'm talking about in actual real life usage of a wristwatch.

    I just showed my extended fingers as a prelude to my upcoming "psoriasis is back" posts (which it surely will be). I did it that way for reference.


    You wins the prize! I was wondering which of our beloved visitors would purnt that out first.

    (I did that on purpose...really, I did). Actually, I divided 1600 by two (which is the correct way to determine military time, as we all know), and came up with 8. See?

    Truth is, I was rushing through that part, because I had SO MUCH fabulous junk to put in one long, boring post that I threw down the 8. Then I thought to myself, "Andy, just leave it in there...leave it in there as a hanging curve ball for one of your beloved visitors to knock clean out of the park."

    So, I did. And, you did.

    You win the prize, BR! I shall send at least fourteen spammers to your Blog of Note, and dare the GlobberFilter to catch 'em.

    You should be proud!

  16. It is NOT gay!!! My dad, with his two mathematics and one computer degree, wears his watch this way for efficiency purposes. Maybe it's nerdy, but it's not GAY! Unless you're already gay, and then it's still nerdy.

  17. Mrs. Who, I think that you have cleared this whole thing up. Your Daddy is obviously not gay.

    He may be nerdy, but not gay. So, I think I will take on the mantle of nerdiness and wear my extremely gay velcro banded cheap WalMart wristwatch under-wristed. And, if anybody gives me any guff, I shall just shoot them...and write up an incident report in accurate military time.

    My conundrum has done been sloved!

  18. I think Paul Mitchell had it right, it's not the wearing of it that is gay, it is the wrist action.
    Mrs. Who, I won't go any further because I would never insult someone's Daddy. Except for Andy. But I'll leave it alone. For now.

  19. And to clarify that, I mean 'Daddy Andy', not Andy's daddy.

  20. I wonder what the word "slove" means. Is that one of y'all's codewords?

  21. See Jim, you and Paul still do not get it. Obviously you two have never watched enough pay per watch movies in motel rooms.

    Y'all are hopeless!

    And Jim, you are quite the gentile-man for not ragging on Mrs. Who's Daddy...or mine.

    Themz would be fightin' words!

    TD, obviously you have not been aboard this Titanic very long. "Sloved" is indeed a code word. It means, "...." Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not allowed to reveal that. I mean, I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

    And, I think that none of us want that. Well, maybe there are one or two folks out there that would like to see you taking a dirt nap...but not sane, reasonable folks like most of us.

    Well, at least some of us.

  22. Andy, I am Catholic, we go blind for doing that.

  23. I guess if we ever take to wearing our watches upside down we'll be able to catch onto the 'slove' word.

  24. Nyuk!

    Hey, it ain't just y'all Catholics. Even us reprobate Protestants heard that one.

  25. Okay Jim...I ain't wearing my damn 9 buck watch upside down!

    Okay! Okay???


    Yeah, I really am going to. I will probably even write up a post about the public reaction to an obvious stud like me looking at his velcro-banned, under-wrist watch, while kicking somebody's ass for giving me guff about it. It'll be classic me, it will.

    My condurum is sloved.

  26. Andy, I watched the Reagan video, I miss him too.
    I think that this video cancels out any perceived gayness as to how you decide to wear your watch.

    If it's your job to shoot Bin Laden in the side of the head with an AR-15 @ exactly 6 am as he's bending over for his prayers, then you'll need to wear the watch in the underhanded position, in order to read the correct time as you squeeze the trigger.

    If it's your job to run over Bin Laden with your Boss Hogg '88 @ exactly 6 am as he's bending over for his prayers, then you'll need to wear the watch in the dominant position, in order to read the correct time as you accelerate over him, crushing his body like a bug.

    I believe there's still 25 big ones in reward for this, just don't offend anyone if you decide to collect. And as long as you're still on our side, and wearing the watch as it best suits your purpose in life.

  27. Marc, I am glad that someone finally mentioned the Reagan video. Never be another one like him...the mold definitely got busted.

    Good advice about the watch. I guess I have to wear it under-wristed then. Thanks.

  28. Seems like you've settled on "not gay," so let me just add...

    It's queer as a three dollar bill.

  29. Hey Andy - I guess that watch was money well spent. I'm surprised I don't see Buck here to tell you that 1600 is 4:00 pm.

    If I had to weigh in on the whole watch thing, I'd say get a pocket watch and chain like mine, but that's just me. Too late, anyway.

    Glad you're feeling better. I'll keep you in my prayers. Hepatitis is no fun.

  30. Woops - just noticed that BR already went over the time-thing. I knew it had to be in there somewhere.

  31. Glad to see somebody caught that mixup about 1600.

    As for the position of the wristwatch...well, I ain't saying it's gay, but I do think I saw Barney Frank wearing his that way recently.

  32. Having been on the losing side of many watches over hitting them on things, I have mixed emotions about wearing it on the outside or inside. Gay it isn't either way.
    Military time is a matter of getting used to it. The other way is just as confusing because you have to wait to AM or PM to really know what time they are talking about.
    This blog could have been about three normal blogs. Save some of the good stuff back next time.
    Good read this time. MUD

  33. Andy, thanks for gaying in on that.

    Cricket, the prayers are greatly appreciated, and are helping for sure.

    Boogie, I've decided to keep it in my pocket...just to be safe.

    Pretty cool watch, though, huh?

  34. I saw the 1600 thing and thought it was a plant. Turned out I was right.

    I used to use money clips, as my father did before me. I had a St. Christopher clip that my mother gave me and I carried that for over 20 years until the clip bit broke in half due to age. I tried to get it fixed but a jeweler told me it couldn't be repaired; I still have the medallion in a box somewhere.

    One has to ask: why didn't you just buy a new battery for your old watch? The sentimental value alone is significant and old(er) watches are just waaaay-cool. It's a personal thing with me but I think ALL digital watches are Teh Gay... it doesn't matter if they cost ten or ten hundred dollars. REAL men know how to tell analog time.

    What else? Well, Reagan. 'Nuff said. The man's very name is all that need be said.


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?