Will Timbow do it?

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A Barksdale Airman wants a date with Timbow.


Will he do it?


Well heck, I would if I was him!

Just sayin'...

Looks like half of BAFB is pullin' for the gal.

C'mon, Timbow!  Do the Zoomies a solid!!!


(Stolden off Pat Austin)

Okay, it's halftime, and my prediction was WRONG!

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I had predicted that by halftime, 18 or 19 out of 20 visitors to Andy's Place would be lead here by The Gooble Search©, trying to find out if Eli Manning is a Christian.


I was wrong.

← (click it)  It's only 17 out of 20 at halftime.


But, Madonna has not crunk up yet, so it might get to 20 of 20 after that old hag drags her miserably ugly bones out on stage.


But...we shall sign off for tonight. 17 of 20 is close enough.


And, I gotta get up early.


Y'all have a good night!


BTW, if you're watching the Super Bowl, and are so damn curious about Eli Manning's religion...well you really should get a life!

Just sayin'...

40 minutes until game time, and we're up to 10 out of 20.

Told ya'!

Building in intensity.

Sigh...

YEP! We're in for a loooooooooong stretch of this.

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Crud.


The Sitemeter Bell is ringing big time (just like I anticipated).


(I have tried to blank out some of y'all, to keep the innocent innocent, since y'all don't really care what Eli Manning's faith is, but on my new comprutuh, it's harder to use Microsoft Paint.  But, I'm tryin', Ringo!).

Crud...


It's gonna be WAY worse by tomorrow.


Crud...

The Super Bowl is not until tomorrow. But, it has ALREADY STARTED!!!

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Crud!  


I know from past experience that any time the New York Giants are playing in a playoff game, Andy's Place blog is going to be inundated by Gooblesearchers looking for this.

But, I thought it would not start until tomorrow.


The retarded searchers (and, I STILL CAN NOT UNDERSTAND THE NATIONWIDE FASCINATION WITH THIS TOPIC) have started early.


Crud!

From an ex-Louisianian buddy of mine who now lives in Mobile, AL.

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Dear friends,

If you wore your LSU shirts on Monday, and your Saints shirts on Saturday, PLEASE wear your Obama shirts on election day.

Tebow, the NFL, and some quick linky junk...

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Hey y'all!  As y'all know, I do not look at the NFL hardly ever.  In fact, I usually have to get to work on Monday morning to find out if The Saints, or 'Boys, or somebody's favorite team won, or sucked big time on Sunday.


But, I have been at least somewhat interested in two stories this season.  1)  The Green Bay Packers, and their total domination of all things Sundayish with the pigskin.  And, 2)  The treatment of Timbow by the media, pundits, etc.


I will not lay out my thoughts and such about Timbow right now...and likely will never.  Except, I will say that the guy is a winner.  He's always won, and he always will. (I'm sure part of that is due to Congressperson Corrine Brown's encouragement...she's a huge Tim Tivo fan.  Obviously.)


Now on to the linkage (and, trust me, this is not to a pitcher of a big fat chick)...My High SchoolMate, CosmicConservative, who is now a local in the Denver area, and a Broncos follower has been blogging about the Timbow story for a good bit of the season.  His last post is worth a read (not that they all weren't).  But, I think he goes yard with this one.


That's all. 

Just to keep the tumbleweeds from blowing through Andy's Place...

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Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...


I just realized that it's time to bail some water out of the Titanic, and keep 'er afloat a while longer.  Man, it's been months since I posted anything...well, anything worth reading, so why screw up a good thing, huh?


On with the mediocrity.  Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't have a bazillion great ideas for blog posts, it's just that I never seem to get each idea fully formed, written out, edited, and presentable to intelligent folks like y'all.  It's not y'all's fault at all.  It's all on me.


I have two or three great ideas a day, but by the time I get time to write about them I've either forgotten what they were, or realize that they really suck, and nobody cares to waste their time reading sucky junk.


For instance, I had this great idea about what happens when you take ONE DAY away from the blogosphere, and return to your The GoobleReader® to find this:

Yep!  In one stinkin' day, 214 blog posts accumulated that I had not read.  Now, understand that on my personal The GoobleReader® I have no news feeds, sports feeds, or any of the big-time bloggers listed.


These are all just my blog buds...the stuff I enjoy reading because I've come to virtually know the bloggers.  Y'all are quite a prolific bunch!  Keep up the good work, because somebody's got to do it, and yours truly is definitely not keeping up his end of the blargain!




Then I had this other great idea about some really funny junk that happened at work.  But, seeing as local readers know where I work, it might not be appropriate to tell off on it.  So, that got scrubbed.  But, it was funny.  Trust me.


Then, I was over at Dapper Dan's joint, and Scooney's place, and they were reminiscing about old cars they remember from their youth.  I thought that would make a great blog post about my first vehicle.  I even went and found a shot of it on the worldwide computer.

Yep!  There she is!  A 1973 Dodge Dart Swinger.  In fact, some of y'all that remember me from high school will remember that it was this same lovely green color, too.  Ain't she gorgeous?  Mine had white-wall tires, though...not the big old two inch white-walls, the 1 inch (or whatever they were).  And, it had a 318 V8 instead of the standard 6.  Yep, that was where it ALL got started for Andy...man, the stories I was gonna' tell y'all!


But when I got started writing about it...the AM radio, and the under dash Realistic cassette player I put in, and the Realistic CB radio I installed with the big whippy antenna that allowed for running through an automatic car wash...and all the great junk that happened in that buggy...and how we drove it off from our wedding...and how it got trashed by my baby brother...


Well, it just seemed like it was a lot more interesting to me than it would be to y'all.  So, that one got scratched.


And then I was gonna write about how retarded the Global Warming crowd is, and how smart cars are gonna keep us from all burning up before some of us even go to hell.

But, y'all already know that, so...BOOOOOOOOOOORING!


And then I had this great idea about telling y'all how I just may have saved my dishwasher.  Yep!  I was afraid that I was gonna have to buy a new dishwasher, because my old Whirlpool was just not cutting the mustard.  But, I reached back into my appliance repairman folder shoved somewhere way back in my brain and tore the thing apart.


This here is what I found all up in the pump-motor.

Ya' see, that just could be the trouble.  But, it's so gross that I didn't want to gross y'all out, and also didn't want to let y'all think I was a shameful slob that would use dishes out of such a putridly stopped up dishwasher.  So, I decided not to tell y'all about that, too.


And then, I had some news from oldest son about his soon to be ex-wife's court appearance which he had to testify at.  (I know, I ended that sentence with a preposition, so don't say a word.  Please.)  It's a long story that would be boring to y'all, but the short of it is that she's gonna maintain her current residence as a guest of the County for a couple of more months...hopefully the divorce will get done, or almost done before any firm decision is made by the Judge.


And then on Sunday, I had this great idea.  Since I had not watched ONE SINGLE NFL game this season I decided to watch the Super Bowl.  Not having a favorite, I decided to do an informal poll at the Hospital on Sunday morning.  Turns out that the vote was Green Bay - 31, Steelers - 25.  Spooky, huh?  That turned out to be the score of the game...which I watched.


I actually polled hundreds of nurses, techs, housekeeping, maintenance, kitchen staff, visitors, and patients.  There was a third category in the poll...DGAS!  That won out with 182 votes.  After forcing myself to watch the pitiful game, I understand why.


Now, fortunately I did not watch any of the pre-game, which I understood sucked even more than the game itself.  I do not know who this Christina Aguillera chick is, but I did watch her butcher the national anthem on The YouTube.  Pitiful.  It reminded me of Willie Nelson when he forgot the words at the Dimocrapic National Convention in the way back.  I don't remember what year it was, but I remember Dumbass Carter was being either nominated, or renominated.  Lemme see if I can find it.  Hang on...


Nah...I can't find it, but it sucked.  Just like Jimmy Carter.


But, this Aguillera chick really stunk up the joint...and that's a pretty big joint to fill with stink.  But, she managed it.


Well, that's about all that I decided not to tell y'all about.  No really, there were some other things, too, but I've forgotten what they were.  I remember that one of them was about how my position as The Wrongness of The Gooble Czar™ might need to be replaced by somebody else, because The Gooble has been treating me pretty good lately...and how The Gooble tricked The Bing into showing their hand as stinkin' copycats of The Gooble. But, y'all probably read about it already, so it's old news, and it wasn't all that funny once I wrote it out anyway.


Let me just leave y'all with a video, though.  The Mrs. and her The Facebook® friends were chattering about how this Aguillera chick destroyed the Star Spangled Banner. One of 'em posted a "this is how it oughta be done" video.


I agree. Sure, it's got a slice of Whitney to it...but it's done with class, respect, and seemingly a true American excitement.




Y'all have a fabulous day, okay!  Gonna be really busy, but I'll try to figure out something worth telling y'all about the next day or two.

I promise.  I will.

I love y'all!  I mean it!

Stolen junk Wednesday...

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Well, no "upset" for my Bulldogs over Boise.  Actually, when you look at the stats, it should have been closer.  But it was just not to be.


Since I still got nothing, here's some good junk I found on the net this am.  These first three I stole off Theo.


I want one!

Spooky!  Even too spooky for Halloweems!

Great Poster!

I love this next one.  I stole it off Pseudonym.

Pseudo also had a great story.  I have often joked in the past about my belly button lint figurines.  This dude actually has the material.  It seems that a librarian has a "record" belly button lint collection.  Can you believe that?  A Librarian?


Here's a pretty funny computer letter that Dr. Jill sent me.  Nyuk...

Definitions:

1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male..... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male.... Playing football without a cup.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male...... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male...... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing byproduct of indigestion.
Male...... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.

Male.. Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


AND;
He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear underpants don't you?

He said.... Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said ... That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don't know; it has never happened.

She said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good- looking?
He said . . . They already have boyfriends.

He said...What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
She said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Well, that's all I got on this here humpday...at least for now.  All a bunch of stolen junk, and one computer letter.  Yep!


Yep!


That's it!


Well look, y'all struggle on through the week.  It'll be done before you know it.  I love y'all!  I mean it!

Man...what a B.O.R.I.N.G. Sunday afternoon...

I'll swear, this is ONE boring Sunday afternoon. There is not nothing on TV worth looking at.

So, I got The Mrs. to buzz my head with the #1 clippers. That was pretty exciting, except for the fact that my skin is real sensitive right now, because I've got the bubonic plague, or something. It really hurt to feel them clippers running across my cranium. It hurt REALLY BAD.

I don't think I've mentioned it yet, but I'm SICK. And, those clippers felt like razor blades digging in to my precious cranial flesh. But, I survived. And, I look good.

Just sayin'...

I decided to go ahead on with a buzz cut this afternoon, even though I knew it would be pure hell, because I start my new job at The Horse-Spittle tomorrow, and I wanted to look all official and everything. Heck, I'm thinking that when I arrive tomorrow I may ought to just reserve a room, instead of clocking in.

Because I'm SICK!!!

Anyway, I learned a long time back that when you're down, and troubled, and you need a helping hand,  and SICK, and there is nothing worth looking at on TV, there is always The YouTube! I normally turn to one of my cousins...either Jim, or Martha...because we are a tight fambly.

This afternoon, I picked Martha. She always gives me a pick-me-up, which I truly need today.

Because I'm SICK!!!