CAN YOU REALLY STOP A SNEEZE?

Yep!

Even a Redneck knows that sneezing is a valuable bodily function. I know that God built that (let me get my word book...) involuntary response into us for good reason. I know that sneezing expels pollutants, allergens, and boogers that we really don't want to take up permanent residence in our nose and sinuses.

Heck, all of us have worked on a good old "blow-out" sneeze before. You know it's coming...your nose is itching like crazy...your eyes are watering up...you're gulping large quantities of oxygen...and finally "sweet relief." Y'all know what I'm talking about...you feel like a new man after it's all over with.

Sometimes you get a double-dip, and feel twice as good.

But there are times that you just don't want to cut one loose, because it ain't proper. Like when the preacher is praying in church (and everybody un-bows their head to look at you)...or when the Bride is just about to say "I do!" (and everybody, including the happy couple turns around to look at you)...or when you are just about to shake hands with the CEO of your company (and you blow snot all over his $1,000 suit)...or when you're just about to hand the State Trooper your drivers license and try to talk your way out of a ticket.

Don't ask me how I know these things...I just know!

I heard something the other day that I doubted. But I have put it to the test. I have even got the Mrs. to participate with me in the test...and we are believers. We are in the "nuclear-pollen phase" of Spring right now in Northwest Louisiana, so it was pretty easy to test.

There is a way to stop yourself from sneezing in those really inconvenient, improper situations.

I am assuming y'all don't need to sneeze right now, but give this a try. Take your tongue, and tickle the roof of your mouth with it. You know what I'm talking about. You might not have done it since you were a kid, but you still can. Take the tip of your tongue, and rub it on roof of your mouth back toward your little "hangie-down-thing." You will get to a spot where it tickles. Just tickle that spot when you feel a sneeze coming on, and you won't sneeze.

I can't guarantee it will work for you, but I can tell it stopped our sneezes like we had constipated noses.

Just a Redneck tip in the public interest...don't bother thanking me...