MONDAY'S BUNCH OF JUNK...

Hey y'all! I've got so much bouncing around in my head that I figured instead of making 17 posts, I'd throw it all into one. If you take the time to read all of this...just know that you are truly appreciated. You can lie to me and tell me that you did...I'll never know that you are a liar, and you will be my VBF! (for life)

Okay, this morning I was listening to the Louisiana Talk Radio Dude, and he was just laughing about how CNN is selling T-shirts promoting BarackO'. I wasn't surprised to hear that. But I was surprised when I actually looked into it. Is it possible that CNN is tired of getting their butt whipped by FOXNews? Could this signal a new, capitalistic desire to actually make money? (and regain some audience)

MORON! I was reminded of Stork, the geekiest guy in the "Animal House." (You may not have been able to see the audio player dealie. If you can't, I'm sorry, but I am not going to take the time to fix it)

Not Morons, "MORON." I was visiting a blog the other day where this one fellow said he was going to try to stop using the term "moron" so often. I got to wondering where the word "moron" came from. So, I got out my word book and found this:

Moron was originally a scientific term, coined around 1912 by psychologist Henry Goddard from a Greek word meaning "dull" or "foolish", and used on the English version of the "Binet Scale" of human intelligence. The Binet Scale was developed in the early 1900's by Alfred Binet, a French psychologist and inventor of the first usable intelligence test, the basis of today's IQ test. The Binet Scale went approximately as follows:

Normal ----- IQ 85-115
Deficient ---- IQ 71-84
Moron ------ IQ 51-70
Imbecile ---- IQ 26-50
Idiot -------- IQ 0-25

I have taken 4 different computer IQ tests, and my score comes back the same every time. I will not share that score as I do not want to embarrass y'all...but it's the same every time. (I'll give you a hint though...it falls between 119, and 121...if you can't figure it out, you are a MORON).

SCOTLAND FOLKS: The Mrs. was watching "Braveheart" on Saturday. I was walking through the room, and heard some actor trying to act like a Scotland guy. He said, "Scodttlund vill be flee!" Did you ever notice that the Scots sound just like Japs? Amazing...they don't look at all alike. Even my "above Moron" IQ can't grasp that one.

VALENTINE'S DAY: Yep, it's coming up fellows. I'm just wondering how many Star Trek conventions you have attended, or how ugly your wife/girlfriend is to give this "gifty gift" to your sweetheart on the 14th. Unless she's Ohura, you're screwed...sorry, bad choice of words...it ain't gonna happen.

BARACKO' AND CLOSING THE BUDGET DEFICIT: I'm starting to think that BarackO' might be sharper than I gave him credit for. He's looking at at least a TRILLION DOLLAR budget deficit (makes Ahhhnol'ds problems in The Golden State seem like nothin'). I think Obama has decided to keep appointing people to his Cabinet that must come clean and pay their tax debts until the deficit is wiped out. If he keeps going like this, BarackO' is gonna have enough left over for "free bubble-up" and a pot of "rainbow stew."

AL GORE IS A MORON!: If he didn't fall into the 50-71 IQ range, he would have been in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania today. He could have stood anywhere in the area, and his big fat ass would have blocked out the Sun...thus proving to the ignorant nutria, and all the ignorant morons gathered there that it's going to get hotter and hotter...MORON!

Marijuana: I can't leave without addressing Willie Michael Phelps, and his now admitted use of weed. I have never smoked a joint. The closest I ever got to it was at a party at Billy Young's (name has been changed to protect the innocent) house on East Texas Street. I didn't because I knew that Daddy would know...he and Billy's Daddy grew up together...He would know, and I would not have lived to almost 50!

C'mon! Let's get real here folks. I've known many marijuana users (man, the stories I could tell...but I'm trying to wrap this up), and I've known even more drunks! It is time to either legalize pot, or "prohibit" alcohol again. Mary Jane is a piker compared to Jack Daniels.