BIG FAT COP...BIG FAT PORKERS...A BIG FAT "ATTA-GAL"...AND A BIG FAT HOPE FOR CHEAP ENERGY...

Well, the purse-snatchers in Bellevue, Nebraska can rest easier tonight. The Nebraska Court of Appeals has given one Christopher Parent his job back after being fired by the Bellevue Po-leese for being unfit to serve due to his unfitness.

Now, I'm not gonna rag on this old boy (much) for being fat. I know that folks struggle with their weight, and this Christopher Parent might be the nicest cat, and most decent human that ever lived. But, in my limited experiences of dealing with folks, I have concluded that (most often) morbid obesity comes from a lack of self-discipline.

The article tells the story of this cop in the Omaha suburb of Bellevue that lost his job due to being way out of shape. This story interested me because I know a guy like that. There was this big black cop here in Bossier City (we'll call him Joe...'cause that was his name). Joe got bigger, and fatter, and then really fatter. Our Po-leese Chief warned Joe time and time again. "Joe, you know I love you, and you're one of my best Officers...but if you don't lay off the spare ribs and start exercising, I'm gonna have to put you off The Force!"

Well, Joe just couldn't stay away from Cobb's Bar-B-Q. He finally got so big that he couldn't fit between the seat & the steering wheel in the LTD Patrol Car. Poor old Chief Cathey had to fire him. But Chief Cathey found him a job driving a school bus for the Parish. Joe kept eating so much that he finally could not fit between the drivers seat and the steering wheel of a school bus. (That's BIG) Like I said...a lack of self-discipline.

This Christopher Parent dude up in Nebraska stumps me. According to the article, his most recent driver's license listed him as 5' 9" tall, and 300 lbs. Riiiiight. Have you ever seen a scale at the DMV? They just ask you how fat you are, and write it down. Now, I am 5' 9" myself, and less than half the weight of what Christopher told the DMV he was. Okay, maybe I am not big enough to be a cop. But I'm not TOO BIG to be one either. In my experience, anybody that will fess up to weighing 300 is probably closer to 400.

This cat was a patrol officer. What would happen if a little old lady got her purse snatched, and Officer Parent was required to run after the scum? I can just see the criminal, running backwards, looking at Chris...laughing his worthless criminal butt off..."Come get me...ha ha ha ha ha... Here I is!...Ooooooh, look at this credik charge I just stole...come get me...run...run...run...FAT BOY!"

What would happen if all the power was out due to an ice storm and a 911 call came in that some worthless Cornhusker fan was up on the 10th floor beating his wife?...You think Christopher could run up 10 flights of stairs to stop him?

The article says that he didn't do too good at the firing range, and other Officers got worried and tattled. Hey, if I was a cop and thought I might need the help of another cop in a life or death situation...well...I'd want to make sure that the guy backing me up actually could.

Christopher's lack of discipline not only cost him his JOB, it cost him his ability TO DO HIS JOB. But the all-wise judges (who obviously know more about running a law enforcement agency than Po-leese Chiefs, and Civil Service Boards do, gave it back to him). Hopefully old Christopher will take a walk, eat a salad, and take advantage of all this for his own good. I sure hope so... You know, they got surgery now that works pretty good for dropping pounds. I know! My sister took it, and lost over half of herself...she's foxy at 53, and can work rings around me.

On to BIG FAT PORKERS...Well, it seems that my miserable, worthless US Senator Mary Landrieu has somehow obtained almost $200,000 as an earmark in the $410,000,000,000 (that's a bunch of zeros) omnibus spending bill. Mary's pig ear just happens to be for a community center project to be built by a non-profit group that her brother heads up...and the project is considered "defunct." Shazaaaaam! And no less a right wing rumor mill than The New York Times reports it. (Gag Alert!!! Mary's picture is up on that computer page...proceed at your own risk)

BIG FAT "ATTAGAL!" Okay, write this date down. It needs to be noted that I have never had one good thing to say about my worthless, miserable Senator Mary Landrieu in all of my 49 years. Today all that changes! If one can do a complete 180 degree turn in two paragraphs...well, I'm doing it! I'm dizzy...

Some guy named Rachel Weiner (nyuk nyuk...got named after a dog...nyuk nyuk) over at The Huffington Post is reporting that Katrina Mary Landrieu, Blanche Lincoln (why does Arkansas even get a vote?), Evan Bayh, and several other Democratics Senators have discovered their balls and are trying to put the skids on the runaway freight train that is BarackO's agenda. They are most concerned about O'Bama's health care plan, and his "climate change" initiatives. I must swallow hard...hang on...Okay, It is hard for me to commend Mary, but I do. I don't know if this group of 8 Democratics can hold together or not. But Mary's stock has risen in my book...even if it's just rhetoric, I'm desperate, and will pat her on the back for at least "pandering" to us conservative Louisiana citizens for once. But my hope is that she and the other 7 Democratics do have the best interest of our young'uns in mind.

And finally, my BIG FAT HOPE FOR CHEAP ENERGY...This is really interesting. My old retired juvenille delinquent retired buddy in Florida (we call him GreenPea...he ain't a Redneck, but we use that name anyhow) sent me a heads-up on an article by Thomas Friedman.

Evidently, Friedman has been made privy to some research with lasers, and fusion energy, and cans full of gold and all. This is something called the "National Ignition Facility". This is all happening at the Lawrence of Liverspots Laboratory out in the nation of California. It's all kinda confusing to me...but if it works...good!