CHENEY ON "LATE NIGHT."

CBS News
New York, March 20, 2009

In one of his first appearances since leaving office, former Vice President Dick Cheney made a guest appearance on "Late Night with David Letterman" yesterday. While not receiving the high level of publicity of President Obama's appearance on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno," it proved entertaining nonetheless.

In his 20 minute chat with the Alfred E. Newman-like somewhat FunnyMan, the former Vice President answered questions on a wide range of subjects from his personal life, to the inner workings of the Bush White House.

At one point, Cheney received a standing ovation from the audience. Letterman asked, "So Dick, is George Bush really a moron, or is that all just an act?" To which Cheney replied, "No Dave, he's not a moron. He's a freakin' imbecile! My God man, he had to wear loafers or Cowboy boots on the days when Laura was out of Washington." The ovation continued on for minutes.

The subject matter of the interview was broad, ranging from his role in the unjust illegal war in Iraq to his lucrative relationship with Halliburton. But the appearance was cut short when Letterman asked, "So Dick, how does it feel to actually shoot a man? I mean especially since he's a friend of yours." Cheney replied, "Well Dave, I'll tell you, it felt pretty damn good! In fact, if I was a better shot, we'd have had one damn beautiful funeral."

Laughing, Letterman followed up, "So, have you been working on your shooting now that you're retired?" "Oh yeah, I sure have Dave. I'm getting better and better. But you know with me, it's kinda' like Trap Events at The Special Olympics."

Cheney's insensitive remarks drew a chorus of boos from the outraged audience, followed by a cascade of shoes and rotten food hurled at the stage. The Secret Service quickly intervened, and escorted the former Vice President from the stage after shooting Paul Shaffer in the head.

While exiting the stage, Cheney stopped momentarily to give the audience a one-finger salute, and to examine Shaffer. With his mic still hot, he was heard telling Secret Service Agents, "The little bastard is dead allright. Good job boys!" Letterman could not be reached for comment, and our phone calls to his office were not returned.