OBAMA TWITTERS...

Hello my fellow Tweeters! I know that it has been since January 15, when I axed everyone to honor Dr. King's memory through crommunity volunteerism, that I have tweeted.

I apologize to all 518,311 of my fellow Tweety-Bird "followers" for my silence. But it's been a really busy couple of months. Michelle and the girls are fine. The girls are all settled in school, and Michelle loves the new drapes that she ordered back last August.

It has been busy. This job is WAY HARDER than I figured it would be. It's been hard to find good help. George Bush left us all in such a big mess that I've had to bring back people with actual experience in government to try to help me pull our weenies out of the fire.

I had hoped that I could bring CHANGE to Washington by hiring people with just as little experience, and as little understanding of geopolitics, economics, and decrorum as me and Michelle. But the disaster Bush left required me to step outside the realm of lunacy and look for some sane adults. Unfortunately, that hasn't worked out too well.

Hell, I couldn't even get the turban-head TV Doctor from CNN to be the Surgeon General. He said something about pushing for doubling the cigarette tax, and we had a little disagreement over that, and how it would hurt many of my "followers." Then one thing lead to the next, and I called him a name I shouldn't, and he called me the "n word," and I told him he wasn't nigger negro enough to get away with that...and, well...

Like I said, it's harder than you might think. I had to hire that ugly old skag Hillary to be Secretary of State. I thought that of all the people available she would be the best. Then the first time Bill talks me into sending her out of country, she goes and makes an idiot of herself with a stupid Biden-Reset-Button gift. Hell, some people have no sense of decrorum when it comes to giving greeting gifts to foreign leaders.

And then she tops if off by pissing off the Turks. Actually, I really don't care so much about that one. Those Kaymakamis can bite me.

And this Geithner guy...SHEESH! You know, you give a guy a chance...and this is the thanks you get! As I said, it's hard to find good help.

Well, y'all keep "following" me on Twitter. I'll try to check in with you more often than once every few months.

Pay no attention to the negative voices out there. They're all bent on destroying your HOPE! They're a bunch of extra chromosome retards that want to ruin your day, and destroy the CHANGE WE ALL BELIEVE IN!