FROM THE MAILBAG...

I know...I stole it from Paul Harvey. (Have I mentioned that I admired and respected Mr. Harvey? May God rest his soul!)

A couple of interesting items in my computer-letter-bag today...

First off, let me update y'all on The Duct Tape Club. I was able to contact DuctCrack (that's what he has chosen to be identified by), and he is more than happy to serve as President of The Duct Tape Club (I'll tell y'all, the world-wide computer sure makes it easy to find folks). In an e-mail exchange, as the TWO CHARTER MEMBERS, we tried to lay out the Club Bylaws. He wanted to ban all women right off the bat, but when I told him that the first two photos of a valuable use for Duct Tape came from my girl cousin, and that we might get sued by N.O.W., he changed his mind.

I'll tell ya', our new President is easy to influence...regardless, it's all under way. We're looking for legal counsel, a Vice President, and...well, we decided we don't need no stinkin' Treasurer. Consider yourself updated!

Walt sent me a couple of things that I really enjoyed. One is a link to a website that is obviously either displaying a complete fraud, or one of the great advances in medical science ever. I can't tell which.

He also sent me another one with pictures of young studs, and how they end up looking just like us old studs. But I gotta copy all the pictures to show y'all, and I really don't have time today. I will save that for a rainy day.

Pea Green sent me a couple of good cartoons.

I title this one, "The Buck Used To Stop Stops Here!"

I title this one, "Sad, But True!"

And finally, Ea Green (Pea Green's baby brother) sent me some little known SCIENTIFIC FACTS that I figured I'd pass on to you. It's all about biology, zoology, and flatulence and stuff. I'm real interested in science junk...almost as much as history junk...

I don't know if they're all true or not, but they stand just as good a chance as the twin tattoo, limb-switching weirdos.

Here they are:

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (Oh, My GOD!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.) (I'm still not over the pig.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the…?)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people. (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump. (Okay, so that would be a good thing)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

Now, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle. In other words, send it to everyone! (& God I love that pig!)