IN CASE YOU MISSED IT...

...Michael Jackson died last week.

I have not personally weighed in on the death of Michael Jackson until now, because EVERYONE ELSE on the planet has. I thought I'd wait until the tide rolled out to share my thoughts with y'all.

As hard as I have tried, I have not been able to escape the continual media coverage of Michael Jackson's death. I guess I could have gone into a closet, shut the door, taken my Reese's Peanut Butter Cup stash, a case of Diet Coke, and a chamber pot to "wait out" the whole thing...but that really was not an option these last several days.

Let me begin by saying that I am not in any way "happy" about the death of Michael Jackson. It is always sad to me when a young man dies. Especially when that "young man" is roughly my age (just one year older than I am). I know for sure that his parents, children, and those that were his TRUE friends are grieving.

That being said, I really do not understand the world-wide hubbub about it all. I truly do not understand the fascination. I was never a Michael Jackson fan. When I was a little kid, I would see him and his four brothers on various variety TV shows...Jack Benny, and the like...and I did think to myself, "Cool...here is a guy my age on TV!" But I can't say that "A.B.C....1.2.3." ever really struck a chord with me.

About the only childhood memory I have of one of his songs I really liked was "I'll Be There." I liked it because there was this one girl I really liked, and she finally asked me to "slow-dance-skate" at the Hot Wheels roller skating rink...the song they were playing was "I'll be there," which was her "favorite."

Well, of course, it was MY FAVORITE, TOO!

But aside from that, I never really cared for his music. I can honestly say that I have never heard "Thriller," or "Billie Jean." I have heard "We Are The World." (I think he was in on that one...but if not, please disregard that).

And I certainly didn't care for his bizarre lifestyle. Maybe it was because I could find nothing in common with Michael that no connection was ever made. On a deep, mind-searching level, this is probably why.

He was black (for some of his life), and I am white (for all of my life to this point). He was talented, and I am not. He was famous, and I am not. He could dance, and I can not. He bore children by a women that he did not make a commitment to raise them with, and I did not. He lived in a mansion, traveled the world, was confused in his theology, was a prisoner of his family, was a prisoner of his fame, was a regular at "Plastic Surgery Tuesday in LA," was stuck in childhood, got young boys drunk, threw away billions of dollars, and was used like a cheap whore by "clingers" his whole life.

There is not one thing about his life that I can identify with. Therein lies my confusion as to why so many millions are seemingly distraught over his death.

Perhaps it is the "pain" of his life that so many identify with. I can not identify with that either...

I am much more saddened by his life than I am by his death.

I have watched the wall-to-wall media coverage of his death, and am sure that it will continue. I read in the news that the brilliant Congresswoman from Texas, Sheila Jackson-Lee has petitioned Congress to recognize Michael Jackson in a Congressional Resolution. I think that there are something like 42 "whereas clauses" in her resolution that point out why The Congress of the United States should honor him. Hmmmm... I'm wondering if it includes "Whereas Michael Jackson once held his helpless baby over a balcony rail several stories high in order to entertain his fans..."

I also see that Al Sharpton is calling for a National Day of Mourning over Michael, and for the US Postal Service to issue a commemorative stamp. I'm thinking that the stamp deal is not a bad idea at all. In fact, I think the USPS should issue an entire set...maybe 8 stamps showing Michael as he morphed from black to white, male to female, with a nose and without a nose, with girls and then with little boys, and maybe even the topper being Michael serving alcohol to little boys in Diet Coke cans. They could call it "The Jesus Juice Collection."

And I also read this morning that there is great anticipation among the media about where Jackson will actually be laid to rest. I don't know if the mystery has been solved yet, but it reminds me of the old Country Music song, "Prop Me Up Beside The Jukebox When I Die."

So much has been made over this guy since his death that I think they should do like the Brits did when the Queen Mother breathed her last. They hauled that old gal all over England for what seemed like eons, to make certain that all of her adoring public got a chance to "share the moment."

Maybe they should put Michael's casket on a cart, and haul it around to every town in the United States so that everyone can properly grieve over him.

He was a "King" after all.

It might take a while, but maybe by the time they get finished, someone with a half-a-lick of sense will have figured out his convoluted finances...what parents of former molestees he still owes...who gets the Fantasyland...who has to now get a REAL job because he's gone...what to do with his kids...and where to plant him. One can only hope...

I will wrap this up with a video. Since it seems to me that Michael Jackson's life was a true "bassackward" tale... If you've ever wondered what the "Moonwalk" would look like in reverse...well, this is the video for you!

By the way, I truly do hope that Michael has finally found some "peace."