Sunday, November 1, 2009

Am I becoming an old fart???

Hey, I know it's not funny anymore to say, "Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things." But I said it anyway...so there!

At 50 years of age, I have discovered that there are things that are really starting to bug me. And it seems that they are all "small" things. I wonder if I'm becoming an old fart. I've always looked at old farts that get aggravated over nothing as "comical." It's like, "Hey! That old fart has got too much time on his hands...he needs to get a life, etc."

But, little things have really started to bug me. Sure enough, the "big things" in life don't bother me nearly as much as they once did. Certainly, I have become much more pragmatic, and much less disturbed by the big junk as I've drawn closer to the dirt nap. But I find myself agitated sometimes.

Case in point: The local weather forecast on the late news! We have three local television stations that give the Weather Report. I am assuming from what I have observed that ALL TELEVISION WEATHERMEN (or weather chicks) go to the same school. Because my source of aggravation seems to be uniform...if not universal!

It goes something like this:

The weather guy/gal stands in front of a map of the area. In my case, it's what we call the "Ark-La-Tex." And on that map, you will see the names of cities and towns. Next to those towns, there will be a number that signifies the current temperature in said city, or town. You know, because there is a huge header that reads, "Current Temperatures."

Now, is that not sufficient? I can look at that and know that it is 53 degrees in Bossier City. But Nooooooooooo!

The weather man/gal launches in to, "It's a quiet night across the Ark-La-Tex after a rough Friday. Currently, it's 53 degrees at the Airport, 53 downtown, 53 at Barksdale, 53 in Minden, 54 in Longview, 53 in Marshall, 53 in Texarkana, 53 in Ashdown, 53 in Hope, 53 in Magnolia, 52 in Springhill, 55 in Natchitoches, and checking in from Cullen, our 'weather watcher,' Cletus McNair reports in at 53."

This drones on and on for an eternity (or at least two minutes), as the weather guy/gal basically says, "It's 53!"

Would it not be a more efficient use of time and energy for the weather man/chick to say, "Hey, it's calm tonight. It's 53 degrees, except where it's really cold at 52, and way as hot as hell at 55!" ??? Wouldn't it? I'm asking ya', WOULDN'T IT???? This has really started to bug me.

Oh man...I am an old fart.

6 comments:

  1. Don't forget about all the blind folks that are tuned in and depending on the weather droid to tell them what the temperature is!

    I live near Fort Worth. (Most of the world lumps Dallas and Fort Worth together. Those in the know understand that Fort Worth is a separate, older, and much more genteel city. It is projected that when all is said and done, it will also be the larger city.)

    Anyway, we have a weather droid on a local station who must break several knuckles and sprain the ligaments in both hands and wrists every night. At first I though he was trying to make gang signs. Then I just decided it is his way of emphasizing things. Man, if there is any kind of precipitation in the area, I expect for him to have both hands in casts the next day!

    Actually, it is distracting to the extreme. His flying, fumbling, gang signing, trying to be expressive while twisting into unnatural positions, hands are just plain distracting. Thing is, I can't even attribute this to his desire to communicate with blind people.

    If I knew sign language, maybe there is something there... maybe he is communicating with the deaf?! Me, I just think he is being annoying. He knows that it gets to me, and he just keeps after it!

    Problem is, the news reader droids are the best, so I'm forced to deal with Mr. Weird Hands for the weather.

    And before you say it, I'm not an old fart. If I were an old fart, I'd just nap through the weather.

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  2. They still do weather on TV "News?" Huh....

    By they way, it's "weather babes" not "weather chicks" you old fart.

    Why blind people would be using a television instead of a weather radio station to get weather news is totally beyond me, but hey, I'm almost an old fart too.

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  3. Y'know what bugs me about the stupid local news? The shuffle all those papers on the desk and whatnot, but never look at the dang things. That's what teleprompters are for nowadays. So why keep the papers? You'd think the liberal media would be all about saving a tree... :)

    Dang, reckon that makes me an old fart, too.

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  4. Heh! I actually thought about blind folks, but my aggravation still holds. Weather "babe" could just say, "It's 53!"

    Walt...you've got a sign language weather-guy, too, huh?

    CJ...you've got a ways gal before you qualify.

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  5. Andy, I'll be an old fart in January. I either walk outside and look up to see if it's raining, look at my thermometer to check the temp and then go to bed. If I'm really curious about the weather say in Eugene, OR (Where the Ducks just beat the pants off the rubbers!!! Quack Quack)I just get on the internet and check the National Weather Service Site. That way, I don't have to listen to any moronic talking heads who don't know anything about weather any way.
    I guess I'm turning into an old fart, too, 'cause I despise network TV and don't watch it or local news unless me or somebody I know is going to be on it. Even then I'll DVR it so I don't have to watch all the BS.

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  6. Heh! Paul, NEVER pass up a chance to remind the world that Oregon whipped USC. NEVER!

    I only watch the local news on Friday nights. I watch to get the high school football scores...but the weather guy comes first. Sigh.

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Don't cuss nobody out, okay?