You're a m####er fu###n b####rd!

As a loyal user of the worldwide computer, and a visitor of many blogs, news sites, etc. (probably too many), I so very often get tired of potty-mouth "comments!" I mean, it's one thing if the particular blog lends itself to such usage. But, it's quite another when you are on a news site, or on The YouTube, and read MFthis, and MFthat in every other comment...usually directed toward the MFer just down the page.

(I have a long, long, very funny and insightful story about my 9th grade Civics teacher, Mrs. Carma Cook, and how she "broke me" from using cuss words while addressing others. But, I will not share it just now. Don't bother to thank me...)

Regardless, it bugs the living crap out of me that folks get into cussing matches in "comments." I mean, do they really think that by calling somebody a name it's gonna somehow change their mind on something? Nope!

In fact, I think that the crude commenting crowd does it just to get a rise out of others. I reckon that they don't have much in life to hang their hat on, and hope to get some kind of jolly with robe front open, in their bedroom in Momma's basement between page loads of porn.

You know what I'm talking about. Trust me...I do not mind one whit if I find raw language or content when I visit a site that is known for raw language, or content. I expect it. But when I'm over at The Politico, or looking at The YouTube, or some other site, it bugs the heavin' s##t out of me to see two little s##ts swapping vulgar insults back and forth in three-quarter time. I mean, it's like the Waltz of The Retards or something.

I'm lobbying for a higher level of insultery on the worldwide computer. And, I just happen to come across a post over at The Lemon Stand today that I really liked.

In said post, Lemon Stand (who I really have limited knowledge of) talks about her joint effort with a friend to trade creative (no foul language) insults back and forth. I found it quite enjoyable, and thought I'd share it with y'all.

These are the ones that they barbed each other with. I'm copying them down, and saving them.
Just so you'll know...coming to a comment box near you...

"Were I to find him in the wild being torn apart alive by rabid dogs, I'd merrily sell popcorn."

"You are a sleezy, slimy, sticky, stinky, scum bucket full of maggot vomit and horse poo."

"If you're going to be two faced then, sweetie, at least let one of them be pretty."

"If I throw a stick, will you leave?"

"I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you."

"My mother told me to never speak ill of people. So, let me just say you are a marvelously articulate chimp."

"You are the ignoble, ignorant, illiterate, incestuous, illegitimate progeny of parents who belong to the phyla insecta."

"Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view."

"I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."

"Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental."

"You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication."

"I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant."

"If you had half a brain, it'd be lonely..."

I think my favorite is : "I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce."

I'm using that one pretty soon...