Sunday, May 23, 2010

So, what's goin' on at Andy's Place?

Well, I'm glad you asked!

Not much, really...

It's just a typical lazy, hot Southern Sunday afternoon. I think we're gonna' hit about 94 today...maybe a record high. I love me some global warming! I am off up in hog heaven!!! I don't know if I've ever mentioned this before, but I hate cold weather, and the hotter, and more humid it gets, the better I feel.

As the black folks would say, it is "scotchin'!!!"

funny animated gif

I just got back home a few minutes ago. I went over to cut my little widow lady's grass. Of course, she is now in Heaven with Jesus, but her sister is in charge of the "earthly" succession deal. She lives way off in Baton Rouge, and doesn't know anybody here, so she asked me if I'd take care of the place for her until she gets everything ironed out, and the house in the hands of a Realtor, or something. Of course, I told her that I would. I'm just a boy that can't say "no." Plus, I really don't mind. It doesn't take long, and I need the fresh air and sunshine...and the activity.  But, it really ain't the same as when Pat was there.  Oh well...time marches along, and everything changes.

Dang!  Look at our beautiful hydrangea!  It has some of the most odd purple/pink/blue blooms.  I'm not sure you can see the purple ones, but trust me...they are unlike any I've seen.

Ooooohhhhh....our vegetable garden is coming along like Buster's Gang!  I'll swear, this is the best start we've had in the last several years.   We have already harvested Jalapenos.  I'm pissed off at Mexicans right now, but I still relish them Jalapenos!

The Okra is about 3 to 4 inches tall now, and the eight Eggplants are overflowing with blooms.  We never have trouble with peppers, okra, or eggplant.  Squirrels do not like them.  We always have more peppers than we can use, or share...more eggplant than we can fry (I've also told y'all in the past about The Mrs.' killer "eggplant parmesean recipe" that makes all the neighbors come sniffing around while she's cooking it)...and we always have enough okra to cleanse the colon of the bowels of hell itself.

But, I'm finally excited behind the tomatoes!  As y'all know, we've had nothing but bad luck the last several years with our 'maters.  I mean, it has sucked like a Kirby trying to get the dang things to grow.  Y'all might remember my "patio tomato" experiment last year, and how badly that sucked, and how we only got two tomatoes because we had bought diseased plants from the freakin' LOWE'S!

But, we're off to a good start.  We've got six 'mater plants, and they're all either blooming, or bearing.    (I'm gonna make this easy for y'all city folks).

If it keeps going this good, and the freakin' squirrels don't gnaw 'em off when they start pinkin', I'm gonna be thrilled.  There is nothing better than a fresh 'mater right off the vine.  

NOTHING, I tell ya'!!!

Okay, so what else we got???

Well, here is a short video clip of Lt. Col. Allen West (a candidate for Congress from the 22nd District of Florida).  I don't think he cares much for ObozO.  Just sayin'...

funny animated gif

You can see his whole speech here.  It's pretty good for a black guy.

funny animated gif

So, about two weeks ago, my car air conditioner started giving me trouble. The AC works fine, but you had to kinda slam on the control to make it actually start blowing. I knew that I had some trouble...but (as usual) I figured it would fix itself!  Well...on Wednesday (about the time The Mayor posted his very gay Scott Baio pictures), the dang thing quit responding to flipping back and forth, punches, and roundhouse kicks.  It's dead.

Ha!  I finally killed it!  Serves it right...

So...I have decided to tear in to it, and get it fixed...seeing as it is 172 degrees here in NW Louisiana.  I don't care so much for myself, because I love hot and humid weather.  But, other folks do occasionally ride in my beloved '97 Mercury Sable (otherwise known as "Black Beauty"). 

Do you know how many freakin' screws that must be removed in order to get to a stinkin' AC control switch on a '97 Mercury Sable?  Well, I'll tell ya'.  34.  So, now you know.  (Take notes, that might come up in a trivia quiz one day, and you might wins you a prize!)

I finally got to the danged switch, but I haven't looked up on the worldwide computer to see how much it's gonna' set me back.  But, it don't matter.  It MUST BE DID!

See it?  Yeah, that's my trouble.  (And before some wiseass axes...YES, that is a cassette player installed in "Black Beauty." 

So, bite me!

Well, like I said, there's not much going on around here at Andy's Place today.  Just the "same old, same old."

So, I'm gonna look on The Gooble Search©, and see if I can find one of these weird electronic/electric/vacuum hose switch dealies cheap.  The Mrs., and #3 son have got a plan rigged up to grill burgers, and Tilapia...bake some taters, and get us all stuffed up real good.

So, y'all have a fabulous Sunday evening, okay!

Oh, wait...I just remembered that our good buddy Jim, at My Bossier had posted a lovely shot of the beach at Grand Isle, LA on his The Facebook website.  If you ain't from Louisiana, you probably don't know that it's pronounced "Gran aaaahhhlll."

Sucks, don't it?

Well, that's all I got my friends!  I love y'all!  I love each, and every one of you.

I mean it...


  1. Dude, the maters are bangin'. Now, if you can just keep them danged roof rabbits off of 'em.

  2. Thanks for the plug, Andy. The garden looks great, and the hydrangea is lovely (of course the correct southern pronunciation is 'hydrainger').
    I stole the picture of Grand Isle from The Wounded Bird, who I believe got it from

  3. Where can I purchase a high quality screwdriver like the one used to get to the bad a/c switch?

  4. Shooter, it is pretty, ain't it? Man, I have done more damage with/and to that thing than any screwdriver ought to have to bear.

    I'm not sure where I got it. But, I think I stole it from a pawn shop.

  5. Paul, that will be the tricky part. So far they've only attacked the squash...have left the zucchini and maters alone. We shall see.

    Jim, no problem. It's a mess down there for sure.

  6. Andy, In the past after reading your posts I've come away with all kinds of reactions (even including retching after one of your humpday hottie tricks), but this is the first time you've left me with the hongries.

    Man, my mouth is waterin' right now for a good old mater sammich. Two slices of whole wheat bread, slathered with mayonaise, and with two fat mater slices, lightly salted and cut real thick. Hmmmmuumm.

    Onliest thing is, I ain't got no garden. Guess I'll head down to the Publix and make do with some of them there "Ugly Tomatoes." They're not too bad but nowhere near as good as your home grown ones will be. Enjoy the fruits of your labor. As for the squirrels, don't get me started again!

  7. I miss gardening. I had either a huge-ass garden or a small truck farm when I lived in Okie-land... being' as how it was about the size of your standard city lot. I grew corn, potatoes, three or four varieties of beans, maters, okra, melons, cukes... and so on. It was just SO damned cool to go out and "pick dinner" in July, August, and September. We had a chest freezer full of home-grown produce that lasted us through the winter, too. Ah... past lives.

    Cassettes. I have a pile of those things and they get some significant airplay in the house, but NOT in the car. Dang it.

    wv: yisdamp. As in "You can KEEP yisdamp and heat."

  8. Your affinity for hot, humid weather leads me to suspect you may in fact be a creature from outer space...

  9. BTW, I've been feasting on maters the last couple weeks harvested from a potted mater plant on my back patio. I love them fresh maters in my BLT sammiches!


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?