Thursday, July 1, 2010

Mensa Teaser! The opening drive...

Okay, so I'm REAL nervous after Corch Mayor put me in to handle this for the Summer.  I don't mind telling y'all that I am.  I mean, my hands are shaking, and I feel kinda queazy down there where fellows feel queazy when they get their BIG CHANCE at something.

So, let's huddle up.

I had asked Corch Mayor for some good advice before taking my first snap at this.  Basically what he told me was two things.

a)  "You're on your own, kid!  I'm hittin' the bricks, and you are in charge."

2)  "Thursday is 'Canada Day,' so be sure and say something nice about Canada."

Well, I can tell y'all for sure that I do love Canada, and the Canadians that the worldwide computer has introduced me to.  And, I AIN'T JUST SAYIN' THAT!  I mean it.

There's a whole lot of things that I truly appreciate about Canada.  But, I think one of the best things I like about Canadians is that they suck at soccer even more than we do down here in the US.  Seriously, they REALLY suck at it.  That means that they have a MUCH lower percentage of pansies up there than we do down here.

I mean, I think Reagan was President the last time Canada fielded a team of grass fairies that were gay enough to make it to the big World Cup deal.

Good on y'all!

I love y'all!  Would y'all adopt me?  Please?  I'm just kidding.  I mean I love y'all and all, but it's real cold up there, and I don't do "cold" very well.

The Mayor did leave me this .gif file in the playbook, though.  This is why Canadians despise the Vuvuzela plastic horn deal, and soccer in general...

In fact, this is how Canadians have learned a good use for that Vuvuzela plastic horn deal.

I know that this is probably not really Canadians, but I had this picture and figured I'd never get another chance to use it.

Okay, so since I'm nervous, I'm gonna throw y'all some short passes until we get our timing down real good.  I am going to pose y'all two REALLY easy Mensa test questions just for warm-ups this week.

And, maybe I'll throw in a more difficult deep across the middle one at the end.  Probably not, but I'm not sure.  But we'll see.  This is fun!  Heck, Corch Mayor is in an undisclosed location doing undisclosed things with some of y'all know who...I can do dang near anything I want to.  Nyuk!!!

Okay, these are y'alls two REALLY EASY Mensa Teaser questions...

1)  Cletus is half his Daddy Clovis' age. In 10 years, Cletus will be three-fifths Clovis' age. Ten years ago, Cletus was one-third Clovis' age. How old are Cletus and Clovis now?

(Editorial note:  I mean, how old is each individual...not how old the Daddy and boy are total...and this one is so easy, I did it in my head without thinking hard at all)

2)  If 6 Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and 5 Milk Duds cost 85 cents total, but 6 Milk Duds and 5 Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups cost 80 cents total, then how much is one Reeses Peanut Butter Cup and how much is one Milk Dud?

Good luck, y'all! Thanks for being on the new (temporary...just for the Summer) Mensa team!

This is gonna be as easy as it gets. I have got a whole bunch of these Mensa questions that involve filling in the blanks on words, and trying to figure out some two unknown words that can go at the back and front of other words to make sense, and some pictures that fit, or don't fit, etc.  But, I decided to start y'all off with elementary school level ciphering. 

If y'all can't get these, y'all need to go invest your valuable time watching soccer or something.



  1. How old are Cletus and Clovis now?

    I dunno about Cletus but that Clovis dude is waaay old.

  2. Do we leave the answers right here? Seems like that would kill the fun for the next readers.

  3. That's the way it works, Andy!

    Mensa Teaser is always done on the honor system.

  4. Well, I know the answers, but I will honorably not put them here so that I don't spoil anyone's fun. Unless there is a prize, then GET OUTTA MY WAY!!!

  5. Andy, the prize is recognition in next week's teaser, I think The Mayor throws in a bottle of scotch after so many correct tries in a row.

    I have never qualified for that personally. They get a lot harder, trust me.

  6. Scotch!?!

    Cletus is 20, Clovis is 40.

    Reese's Cup = 10 cents
    Milk Dud = 5 cents

  7. Ya know when a receiver is going over the middle, the QB throws kinda high and the safety comes across and just blindside BLASTS the receiver in the ribs? I feel like that receiver right about now.

  8. Andy, I figgered that would coax a response. Nyuk...

    Inno, The Mayor has speared me with Mensa Teaser far more than my share...

  9. Somebody tell me directly - are we supposed to post the answers in the comments?

  10. Andy, the direct answer is Yessir! I should have probably been more informative about this.

    Mensa Teaser has been developed over the years by The Mayor in to what really becomes more like an "open thread."

    Wrong answers are appreciated, if they are funny...and even if they are not (like the ones I usually come up with). You might read anything from politics, to religion, or bad puns/jokes, etc. in the Mensa Teaser comments.

    But, the purpose of it is definitely to test your mental acumen, and show off to others. Trust me, the questions will get much harder. Those MENSA folks are sharp!

    And, as a regular Mensa Teaser player, I can tell you that I have more than once been happy that others have answered ahead of me. Sometimes I will just look at the comments first, and copy the one that looks correct.

    But, don't tell The Mayor. I'm working on my "prize."

  11. Solving word problems is a plebian endeavor and beneath me.

    Now eating peanut butter cups and milk duds, on the other hand . . . .

    w/v -- ekismos. Dyslexic indigenous peoples of the Arctic region. Now THERE"S a mensa teaser for ya!

  12. My brain ceased to function this morning when I opened the water/sewer bill for the trailer park: $12,557.86.

    After spending an hour talking to machines with acute chest pains, (my pains not the machines) I finally found out that the decimal point was in the wrong place.

    So count me out for any math today.

  13. Moogie, those WVs definitely do aim to please, don't they? I actually had a great friend, a black fellow that pronounced it "eximos."

    Barry, oh man...The commentor above you, Moogie just had her own go-around not long ago with a 10X too large water bill.

    That must have been a wonderful way to start out the morning!

  14. I tried to comment early today, but the gooble wouldn't let me. I had the 20-40 figured out okay, but the candy just blew my mind. The picture of the drinking crew certainly does look like Canadians, I have been there a couple of times and that was what I saw!

  15. Hey Jim, I've been to the great white North myself. Great people...but I do seem to remember heavy consumption of the barley & hops.

    You get half a credit for the Cletus/Clovis age question.

    I'm iz proud of ya'...

  16. The real MENSA test is thirty trick questions...

    You have 30 minutes to take the test.

    3 questions are impossible to answer.

    The rest take just over a minute to figure out. (for me anyway...)

  17. That water bill is still pending, the meter is still leaking, and I haven't seen any Sewerage & Water Board minion sniffing around yet. I'd rather it be just a decimal problem!

  18. Sully, I did take the 30 question Mensa "warmup" in preparation for this.

    I am being honest here. I got 21 of the 30 correct. But, I think you might not be right about there being only 3 that can not be answered.

    I suffered over those 9 that I missed, and I'm pretty sure that there is a flaw in the test...or a flaw in the brain of those that can figure them out. Just sayin'...

    Moogie, I had not heard the end of you trying to fool the City into thinking you really didn't install a new swimming pool. You're good...I'll bet you can pull it off when Mr. Meterman shows up.

    Talk Arkansas to him. You'll probably get a credit on your next bill...

  19. Lets see, Peanut butter cups come two to a package and Milk Duds come in a box of unknown quantity. I mostly ate the milk duds in the dark at a theater and don't remember how much I paid for them. Today you couldn't buy six peanut butter cups or a box of milk duds for much less than a buck fifty. Trick question. Dang I hate it when questions are so old they aren't real.

  20. Hey MUD! Nyuk! When my wife read the question, she said, "Andy, you don't buy peanut butter cups or milk duds one at a time. They come in a package, or a box, so the question is stupid."


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?