Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Jap Knows...


Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Y'all long time visitors to Andy's Place know that Black History Month African American History Month (formerly known as February) is an especially exciting time around Andy's Place.  

(Editorial note:  I did not know until yesterday that the name of Black History Month had been changed to African American History Month.  I heard Congressclown Sheila Jackson Lee call it that while she was bitching about some Super Bowl ad.  Jeepers, HOUSTON, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM!  But, I digress).

Yep!  This year has been a little bit different for a couple of reasons.  Reason numero uno is that I have been WAY busy, and have not really had time to give y'all our regular Black History Month African American History Month Updates.

Reason dos is that mean ol' Mr. Psoriasis decided to pass me by this year, thank you Jesus!  So, our regular "Psoriasis Updates" have not been necessary (BTW, web traffic has gone through the floor, due to the fact that I'm NOT posting pictures of my lovely Psoriasis-laden hand this African American History Month.  But, I'll take a drop in traffic gladly.  Again, I digress).  Also, for much of the month my fingers have been frozen, and typing is a cumbersome task.

I also forgot to ask y'all this year what I ought to get The Mrs. for St. Valentine's Day.  As y'all know, we normally go with some piece of cookware to replace the ones she has worn out over the past year.  But, I'm thinking something frivolous this year.  Maybe some socks.  We'll see.

Anyway, one of our most popular updates is our Japanese Magnolia Update.  If you have not seen my Japanese Magnolia, then go look at it.  Please be sure and note the date on the post, as there will be a test later.  I'll wait...

Okay, you're back.

Now, The Mrs. is quite the student, and observer of nature, and plants, trees, and junk like that.  And, for the last several years she has been verifying my suspicion that the planet Earth is getting colder and colder.  She has told me time and again that this, that, or the other is blooming later and later over the last 10 or so years.  

And, she has noted the fact that our fabulous Jap Mag is evidence.  I actually got into a discussion with a guy at work the other day about the retarded concept of global warming, and used our Jap Mag as an example.  He was all like, "Well, it may be true that we have had a later Spring here recently, but the overwhelming scientific evidence shows that the planet is indeed warming up."  And, he was like, "Your evidence is just anecdotal."

So, I was like, "Dude, anecdotal evidence is still evidence!  These flat-Earthers like you that deny just how dang cold it is can bite me.  The lying Brit "scientists," the money-hungry Al Gore, and the once great General Friggin' Electric can tell me all day that the sky is green, and the earth is flat.  But, I know better from my "anecdotal" experience.

And y'all always need to remember the words of the great Brit Pastor, Leonard Ravenhill.  "A man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument."

Okay, so where was I?  Oh yeah...

This here is our glorious Japanese Magnolia tree today, Black History Month African American History Month/12/2011.

Gorgeous, ain't it?

Here's you a little closer look at the buds that just a few years ago were bursted open with glorious magenta and pink blooms by now.


Obviously, the Earth is not getting warmer...and if you still swallow the swill that Doctor Al is selling for a billion dollars a bottle...well...I pity you.  

The Jap knows!

Let's see what else we got.  Oh, here's a good "People of WalMart" picture.  Actually, "pictures."

And another...

I think Dude on the left is queer.  And, the shoes the chef is wearing are Crocs, I think.


And, another...

I'll tell y'all, some of the ugliest folks on this ever-cooling Earth show up at The WalMart.  I mean, I know it ain't Christian to pick on folks due to their appearance...but look at them toofers!  And, I think that gal is wearing a Barney The Dinosaur three dollar watch, too.

Well, now that we've settled any questions about the global warming ruse, and destroyed any doubt that Michelle is just plain classless, and ugly, we have some VERY good news.

It is supposed to be close to 70 degrees here in NW Louisiana tomorrow.  I plan to take my shoes off when I get home from work tomorrow afternoon, and let those pasty white peds see the light of day for the first time since African American History Month rolled around on the calendar...actually even longer than that.

I shall be sure to take photographs so that y'all can enjoy the glory of it all with me.

Don't bother to thank me.


  1. I know you didn't just call Alton Brown gay! Wow. He can't be gay, he rides a motorcycle.

  2. Andy, sometimes guys don't listen the first 100 or so times one of us sez "go to the ear Dr."
    So I'm typing it here for you, so you can read it while your hearing becomes a distant memory.
    Perhaps Mrs. Andy can make an appointment at the hospital you work in for you, then you can say you're just trying to make your Mrs. happy, like the good ol' days.

  3. I'm with ya on the delayed blooming thing. The camellias are still in full bloom and the tulip trees haven't even squeaked. Of course, our seasonally-challenged gardenia blooms year round. It's really odd. But, please don't bring up the *global warming* thing within earshot of Pepper -- he has hundreds of champion-calibre de-bunking rants on that topic, researched and annotated, and I don't care to re-visit them. Again.

    Do you think the FLOTUS has an actual anatomical waist where a waist is supposed to be? or is it somewhere up around her armpits?

    Valentine's Day for Mrs. Andy? It's going to be too warm for new socks. Or a hoodie-footie!

  4. Jimbo, I do not know who Alton Brown is, but if he wears orange Crocs while riding his Harley, he is definitely queer.

    Marc, I'm all over it. Getting it looked at tomorrow. Thank you for the concern. Sincerely.

    Moogie, I stopped trying to use "hard science," with AGW retards. No matter how often Pepper rails with stats, they will refuse to listen. It's a mental disorder of some type that needs its own classification.

    I just hope against hope that perhaps ONE of them will notice real life changes and step back to take a second look. But, that would be some kind of miracle if ONE ever did.

    I think ObozO should buy Michelle a Hoodie-Footie with a matching boob belt for Valentimes. Whataya bet she'd wear it on her next photo-op?

    As far as the plant blooming thing goes, I know things fluctuate from year to year. But, there has been a steady drumbeat backwards to Spring around here for a good while.

    Pam knows this junk. She's got like a calendar/clock/agrometer (okay, I just made up agrometer) in her somewhere that knows when it ought to be time for the Earth to come to life.

    She knows.

  5. No Andy, Mario Batali is wearing the orange crocs. Alton brown is the one on the left. My fault, you called him queer, I said gay.

  6. This has to be said because it has to, "And Jim KNOWS queer."

    No offense, Jim, but you left that one hanging over the plate too damned long and someone had to turn and go yard with it.

  7. Paul, excellent job...eye on the ball, level swing. Good bat speed, too!

    As to leaving it over the plate too long...I had to hit the sack early as I'm due in at 0545.

    'Preciate you stepping in.

  8. It's a mental disorder of some type that needs its own classification.

    Already classified and documented out the a$$: Liberalism. I thought ya knew that.

  9. I'm really late to the comment festival, but 'boob belt' is to good to let pass by. Boob belt! Bwahahaha!


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?