Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Just to keep the tumbleweeds from blowing through Andy's Place...


Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

I just realized that it's time to bail some water out of the Titanic, and keep 'er afloat a while longer.  Man, it's been months since I posted anything...well, anything worth reading, so why screw up a good thing, huh?

On with the mediocrity.  Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't have a bazillion great ideas for blog posts, it's just that I never seem to get each idea fully formed, written out, edited, and presentable to intelligent folks like y'all.  It's not y'all's fault at all.  It's all on me.

I have two or three great ideas a day, but by the time I get time to write about them I've either forgotten what they were, or realize that they really suck, and nobody cares to waste their time reading sucky junk.

For instance, I had this great idea about what happens when you take ONE DAY away from the blogosphere, and return to your The GoobleReader® to find this:

Yep!  In one stinkin' day, 214 blog posts accumulated that I had not read.  Now, understand that on my personal The GoobleReader® I have no news feeds, sports feeds, or any of the big-time bloggers listed.

These are all just my blog buds...the stuff I enjoy reading because I've come to virtually know the bloggers.  Y'all are quite a prolific bunch!  Keep up the good work, because somebody's got to do it, and yours truly is definitely not keeping up his end of the blargain!

Then I had this other great idea about some really funny junk that happened at work.  But, seeing as local readers know where I work, it might not be appropriate to tell off on it.  So, that got scrubbed.  But, it was funny.  Trust me.

Then, I was over at Dapper Dan's joint, and Scooney's place, and they were reminiscing about old cars they remember from their youth.  I thought that would make a great blog post about my first vehicle.  I even went and found a shot of it on the worldwide computer.

Yep!  There she is!  A 1973 Dodge Dart Swinger.  In fact, some of y'all that remember me from high school will remember that it was this same lovely green color, too.  Ain't she gorgeous?  Mine had white-wall tires, though...not the big old two inch white-walls, the 1 inch (or whatever they were).  And, it had a 318 V8 instead of the standard 6.  Yep, that was where it ALL got started for Andy...man, the stories I was gonna' tell y'all!

But when I got started writing about it...the AM radio, and the under dash Realistic cassette player I put in, and the Realistic CB radio I installed with the big whippy antenna that allowed for running through an automatic car wash...and all the great junk that happened in that buggy...and how we drove it off from our wedding...and how it got trashed by my baby brother...

Well, it just seemed like it was a lot more interesting to me than it would be to y'all.  So, that one got scratched.

And then I was gonna write about how retarded the Global Warming crowd is, and how smart cars are gonna keep us from all burning up before some of us even go to hell.

But, y'all already know that, so...BOOOOOOOOOOORING!

And then I had this great idea about telling y'all how I just may have saved my dishwasher.  Yep!  I was afraid that I was gonna have to buy a new dishwasher, because my old Whirlpool was just not cutting the mustard.  But, I reached back into my appliance repairman folder shoved somewhere way back in my brain and tore the thing apart.

This here is what I found all up in the pump-motor.

Ya' see, that just could be the trouble.  But, it's so gross that I didn't want to gross y'all out, and also didn't want to let y'all think I was a shameful slob that would use dishes out of such a putridly stopped up dishwasher.  So, I decided not to tell y'all about that, too.

And then, I had some news from oldest son about his soon to be ex-wife's court appearance which he had to testify at.  (I know, I ended that sentence with a preposition, so don't say a word.  Please.)  It's a long story that would be boring to y'all, but the short of it is that she's gonna maintain her current residence as a guest of the County for a couple of more months...hopefully the divorce will get done, or almost done before any firm decision is made by the Judge.

And then on Sunday, I had this great idea.  Since I had not watched ONE SINGLE NFL game this season I decided to watch the Super Bowl.  Not having a favorite, I decided to do an informal poll at the Hospital on Sunday morning.  Turns out that the vote was Green Bay - 31, Steelers - 25.  Spooky, huh?  That turned out to be the score of the game...which I watched.

I actually polled hundreds of nurses, techs, housekeeping, maintenance, kitchen staff, visitors, and patients.  There was a third category in the poll...DGAS!  That won out with 182 votes.  After forcing myself to watch the pitiful game, I understand why.

Now, fortunately I did not watch any of the pre-game, which I understood sucked even more than the game itself.  I do not know who this Christina Aguillera chick is, but I did watch her butcher the national anthem on The YouTube.  Pitiful.  It reminded me of Willie Nelson when he forgot the words at the Dimocrapic National Convention in the way back.  I don't remember what year it was, but I remember Dumbass Carter was being either nominated, or renominated.  Lemme see if I can find it.  Hang on...

Nah...I can't find it, but it sucked.  Just like Jimmy Carter.

But, this Aguillera chick really stunk up the joint...and that's a pretty big joint to fill with stink.  But, she managed it.

Well, that's about all that I decided not to tell y'all about.  No really, there were some other things, too, but I've forgotten what they were.  I remember that one of them was about how my position as The Wrongness of The Gooble Czar™ might need to be replaced by somebody else, because The Gooble has been treating me pretty good lately...and how The Gooble tricked The Bing into showing their hand as stinkin' copycats of The Gooble. But, y'all probably read about it already, so it's old news, and it wasn't all that funny once I wrote it out anyway.

Let me just leave y'all with a video, though.  The Mrs. and her The Facebook® friends were chattering about how this Aguillera chick destroyed the Star Spangled Banner. One of 'em posted a "this is how it oughta be done" video.

I agree. Sure, it's got a slice of Whitney to it...but it's done with class, respect, and seemingly a true American excitement.

Y'all have a fabulous day, okay!  Gonna be really busy, but I'll try to figure out something worth telling y'all about the next day or two.

I promise.  I will.

I love y'all!  I mean it!


  1. Glad you're back Andy. Also glad that StBExDIL gets to keep her current residence! Prob'ly the safest place for all involved.
    I have a similar dishwasher story that I'll put up some day. It really turned in to a comedy.

  2. Andy, it's good those old cars we had can't talk, if you know what I mean! Don't know what you dug out of the dishwasher, but it looks pretty raunchy. I agree about our National Anthum, it gets slaughtered every time these so called "Artist" sing it. I just hit the "mute" button. Good to see you back.

  3. Andy, this is the longest, most detailed, bestus post about why a person can't do a post that I've ever read. It's the Beast of non-post posts. If I had a prize I'd give it to you. Oh, wait. I do have a prize. I'll write you about it later.

    And that Dart! Wow. Great little car. And I bet those stories you could tell about it would be real interesting; I for one would like to hear one. So get on it boy. Tell us more about that Dart. When you get time, I mean.

  4. What Dan said.

    And further to what I said about my Dart... mine was a beauteous blue and it was one of the best shades of blue I ever saw on a car.

  5. BTW Andy, thanks for putting up Whitney. The lady can really sing and her rendition of the Anthem just ROCKS! (she's one of the few singers who has the range to pull it off)

  6. Y'know today's darts would just stick in cork...maybe...they don' build 'em like they usedta.

  7. My Dishwasher repairman came out to replace the heating element on a recall. He said that get a big old bottle of White vinegar and run it through a rinse cycle to clean out the built up lime. he said that the energy crisis has also made people quit running the extra heat and that if the dishwasher is far from the water heater, the water never gets hot enough to do a good job. If you turn on the hot water in the sink, how long does it take to get warm? Try to run the water in the sink to get hot water in the dishwasher and see if that doesn't help. MUD

  8. I was a little disappointed when I listened to the youtube to find out it wasn't Whitey Houston, my buddy back in grade four. Man, Whitey sure could sing.

  9. Thanks for posting Whitney's version.

  10. Thanks all y'all, for chiming in. I'm glad y'all enjoyed Whitey's version. You're right, Mayor, he gots one heckuva set of pipes.

    I'll bet he just kills with Oh Canada, too.

  11. Don't feel bad, I have the same problems blogging as you do. Wonderful ideas pop into my head while I'm at work or otherwise away from the computer, but by the time I get to it either the muse has deserted me or I'm too lazy. Or I get one paragraph in, then go "Now what...?" So sometimes I either jot them down on a piece of paper and stuff it into my pocket, or open up a notepad on Windows and put a quick blurb in there, to be fully completed at a later time. I got a lot of those right now...

    And yes, Whitney will always be the standard for how the National Anthem should be sung at major events.


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?