Monday, March 15, 2010

Well...the BIG DAY has finally arrived!

Mr. Postman brought it today!!!

Now, I have been reading, and have posted some links, ideas, etc. about how to answer this 2010 Census. There are a wide range of ideas about how to fill the dang thing out.

Before we go any further, I want to point you to a blog post done by my friend, Patrick Conlon. Go read it, and come back (if you want to).

If you read it, note this quote:  In Article I, Section 2, the Constitution says that an “Enumeration” must be conducted every ten years “in such Manner as [Congress] shall by Law direct.” Congress has directed through a federal law that anyone who “refuses or willfully neglects…to answer, to the best of his knowledge, any of the questions” on the Census form can be fined $100 (18 U.S.C. § 221). If you deliberately give a false answer, you can be fined up to $500. 

So, as I open up the Census form sent especially to Andy's Place, and take me a gander, what do I see?

The "Start here" deal says you're only supposed to count all people (Including folks would think a "baby" ain't a people?) that "sleep here most of the time." 

Now, this is gonna be a problem for some folks.  I know there were many years when we had a bunch of things that slept here most of the time, but I wasn't sure whether they were a "people" or not.  Just sayin'...

It's also asking me in question #1 how many people were "staying" at Andy's Place on April 1, 2010.  Now, that's a hard one to answer, because it ain't April 1, 2010 yet!  Heck, no telling how many people will be "staying" here in a couple of weeks... (The population at Andy's Place is fluid.")

Question #2 asks if there were any additional people "staying" here that I didn't include in question #1.  Gee, I dunno!!!  I mean, if they were "staying" here, and I didn't know between answering question #1 & #2...well, what does that say about ME?

Question #3 axes if Andy's Place is a house, apartment, or trailer house that is owned by "the bank," "somebody else," or "Andy."  And, it even wants to know if somebody's living here without "payment of rent."  Well, heck yeah!  There's always been a bunch of folks living here without paying a single dime of rent.  So, should I check several of those boxes?  I'm confused...

Question #4 asks for my telephone number.  Screw 'em!  I think this is one of them telemarketing dealies.  Screw 'em...

When I get to question #5, it gets personal.  They want a NAME!  Now, why do you need to know somebody's name in order to know they are a "person?"  I was thinking about penciling in "Sadie Lou Sunshine."  (That's my retarded registered yellow lab's AKC registration name)  But, I might get a big fine and all if I do.  (Maybe up to Five Grand)

#6 is gonna be a BIG problem for a couple of folks I know.  They ask if you are "Male," or "Female."  Y'all can fill in the blank on that one...

#7 wants to know about a date of birth for Person #1.  I'm not sure of Sadie's Date of Birth, so I'm gonna have to fish up the papers on her.  Crud...  (On a side note...I'm worried about Sadie...she's limping around real bad today like she hurt her left rear leg.  I don't know what's wrong, but she seems like she's okay for a while, and then she gets back to limping.  I don't know if she's REALLY hurt, or playing possum.)

Now, #8 is where it gets complicated.  It gives you instructions to answer BOTH #8 & #9 (before you answer #8).  And, it tells you that "..Hispanic origins are not races."  I'll swear, they're losing me quick on this one!  It's I a Mexican, a Chicano, a Puerto Rican, a Cuban, or something else like maybe a Spaniard?  I need an Excedrin...

Then #9 asks what Sadie's race is.  So, I can pick from a bunch of junk (including "Negro"), and even "Chamorro," or "Jap."  She's yellow, so I might go with Chink...not sure just yet.

Finally, question #10 axes does Sadie  "live or stay somewhere else?"

I wish!!!

So, I don't know.  I'm not sure what to do with this.  I'm thinking of just being a good little boy and filling the whole deal out correctly (no phone number though...they say they need that "if they don't understand an answer.")

But, I really think I will kick myself on down the road for not using a "once in ten year chance" to screw around with folks.  I mean, you only get a chance like this once a decade.

It's a true condurum!


  1. I never used to get all worked up about the census but I am this year. I wonder why?

    wv: pyroo. An aboriginal ritual concerned primarily with immolating kangaroos. Rarely seen and never documented, to the best of my knowledge.

  2. Buck, please oh PLEASE put down that you are a Pyrooian. I beg of you.

    I got mine today too. The questions weren't nearly as invasive as I feared, but I still wonder why they need to know?? I mean, we're supposed to be "color blind" and not base anything on race or income or what-have-ya, so why in the tinker's hell are they asking those questions?

    On Sadie: Send that poor girl to me. I think Chloe would like her. If they got together, they might (!) make one smart dog. Just kiddin', I know you wouldn't give her up.

    As a matter of fact, Chloe had the limp going on a couple of weeks ago and I took her to the vet, who put who her on some sort of steroid for a few days. She's right as rain now, that is, until she falls down again....

  3. Pyrooian -- HAHAHAHAHA!

    We get our mail from the New Orleans postal service, so ours hasn't arrived yet. I'm not sure how we'll handle it when it comes.

    Poor Sadie! Bouie is kinda in the same boat, but that's because he got himself tangled up in the nylon mesh on the shrubs AGAIN last night. Fortunately, I found him fairly quickly and got an Ibuprofen down him and an ice pack on the leg. Today he's doing pretty well. Hope she does, too.

    The Census folks probably wouldn't bite on "Bouligny Voodoo" would they?

    (vr: "butra," as in "Would you like some butra on yer biscuits?"

  4. Check every box twice and claim multiple personalities....

  5. Harumph! I didn't get least not yet. Maybe I'll get lucky and they'll skip my house.

    The dogs and cat are more like people than animals anyway...just ask them. And they sure don't pay rent.

  6. I just picked it up, marked it up and closed the envelope. I told the wife what I said and she reminded me that we used this house as collateral on the house deal we did and it does have a mortgage on it. Oh well, it is only a little lie and the interest on the loan didn't exceed the standard deduction. How that applies to how many people live here is beyond me. MUD

  7. Heh! Pyrooian...nyuk! Sorry about your pooch, Moogie. Sadie must have been trying to fake me out. She's back to her old self.

    Buckskins, it'll come. And I know what you mean about the pets.

    MUD, it applies NOT in any way, as you well know. Jeepers!

  8. I filled mine out. Sent it off, too! I told them how many people lived in my house. That was it.

    Wrote over on the rest of it...NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!

    Let 'em come after me. I dare 'em.

    Y'all will send cookies, won't you?


  9. Better check on Sadie. Maybe she isn't Chink but high yellow.

  10. I receive Census. I review Census. I fill out Census (all but two questions). I seal Census. Sometime in next couple weeks, I mail Census. Bite me, Janet.

    Pyroonians are a semi-extinct race of hamster herders from the upper Maltese island of Frackenbortz, inundated during a tsunami caused by a Hillary Clinton bellyflop at the beach in '97. It went underreported 'cuz figgerin' out what "is" means was at the top of the media's putz-o-meter at that time.

    Glad to of been of hep.

    Bite me, Janet.

  11. JW, Mrs. Andy makes a MEAN Pound Cake...and trust me, it'll weigh a bit more than usual when you receive it, if you know what I mean...

    Patrick, you got me to thinking, so I listed Sadie as "Negro."

    Skunks, as always...I have no frame of reference to respond...except that if Janet bites you, please videotape it. Talk about a "rickroll!"

  12. nomnomnom...pound cake works deliciously for me.

    I stand by my belief and athority..


    SEC. 6-- Information from other Federal departments and agencies; acquisition of reports from other governmental and private sources...

    a) yadda yadda yadda
    b) yadda yadda yadda
    c) to the MAXIMUM extent possible consistent with the kind, timeliness,quality, and scope of the statistics required, the Secretary SHALL AQUIRE and use information available from ANY source referred to in subsection (a) or (b) of this section INSTEAD OF CONDUCTING DIRECT INQUIRIES.

    If you read the yada yada, it tells you that they already have all of the information that is legally provided to them, if they just do the work, instead of making YOU do the work for them, without pay, I might add. I'm not a friggin' slave. I will not do the work for them. If they want that information...well they will have to do the work for which they are payed. I went through this whole butt load of crap when I had the American Community Census up my ass 2 years ago. They told me I was violating federal law by not answering. LOL! Lots of fun handing them my printed out sheets and defying their "athoriteh". Even had local law enforcement "escort" them off my property! gawd, I'll do it again!

    I answered the appropriate question: How many people live in my home.


    I'll let you know when I'm in need of the pound cake!

    OH, WAIT! I'm in need of that pound cake immediatly!! Some fresh strawberrys and good homemade whipedcream, would be nice too...if I'm not asking too much. No saw is ok. I'm more than sure I won't be needing it. *grins* ;-)


  13. the way...

    This gave me gigglefits.




Don't cuss nobody out, okay?