I just spent an hour with Census Dude...

Here comes a "knock knock knock" on the doorbell...I go to answer the door, and there stands Census Dude.

I'm thinkin', "Jeepers..."  But, he only had one question, and it had to do with our old garage apartment (that still has a separate address in The Census records).  I told him that it was empty, and that I had returned the form to "the man" stating that it was no longer a valid address.  He was quite nice, and cordial, and recorded what I told him.

But, bless his heart, he needed some help!  He could not get anyone at any of our apartments to come to the door, and wondered if I could help.

Well, it seems that the ONLY renter in our apartments that actually returned his Census Form was the old, hopeless drunk that can't find his way to the corner store.

Everybody else obviously threw it in the trash.

But, Census Dude was a nice guy...a little bit older than me, and serious about the job he'd been hired to do.  I think we finally got everybody counted.  I will sleep well tonight...

Andy does his Glenn Reynolds impersonation... #7

I figured we'd see a lot of this. But, not this soon!

Well...the BIG DAY has finally arrived!

Mr. Postman brought it today!!!

Now, I have been reading, and have posted some links, ideas, etc. about how to answer this 2010 Census. There are a wide range of ideas about how to fill the dang thing out.

Before we go any further, I want to point you to a blog post done by my friend, Patrick Conlon. Go read it, and come back (if you want to).

If you read it, note this quote:  In Article I, Section 2, the Constitution says that an “Enumeration” must be conducted every ten years “in such Manner as [Congress] shall by Law direct.” Congress has directed through a federal law that anyone who “refuses or willfully neglects…to answer, to the best of his knowledge, any of the questions” on the Census form can be fined $100 (18 U.S.C. § 221). If you deliberately give a false answer, you can be fined up to $500. 

So, as I open up the Census form sent especially to Andy's Place, and take me a gander, what do I see?

The "Start here" deal says you're only supposed to count all people (Including babies...like folks would think a "baby" ain't a people?) that "sleep here most of the time." 

Now, this is gonna be a problem for some folks.  I know there were many years when we had a bunch of things that slept here most of the time, but I wasn't sure whether they were a "people" or not.  Just sayin'...

It's also asking me in question #1 how many people were "staying" at Andy's Place on April 1, 2010.  Now, that's a hard one to answer, because it ain't April 1, 2010 yet!  Heck, no telling how many people will be "staying" here in a couple of weeks... (The population at Andy's Place is fluid.")

Question #2 asks if there were any additional people "staying" here that I didn't include in question #1.  Gee, I dunno!!!  I mean, if they were "staying" here, and I didn't know between answering question #1 & #2...well, what does that say about ME?

Question #3 axes if Andy's Place is a house, apartment, or trailer house that is owned by "the bank," "somebody else," or "Andy."  And, it even wants to know if somebody's living here without "payment of rent."  Well, heck yeah!  There's always been a bunch of folks living here without paying a single dime of rent.  So, should I check several of those boxes?  I'm confused...

Question #4 asks for my telephone number.  Screw 'em!  I think this is one of them telemarketing dealies.  Screw 'em...

When I get to question #5, it gets personal.  They want a NAME!  Now, why do you need to know somebody's name in order to know they are a "person?"  I was thinking about penciling in "Sadie Lou Sunshine."  (That's my retarded registered yellow lab's AKC registration name)  But, I might get a big fine and all if I do.  (Maybe up to Five Grand)

#6 is gonna be a BIG problem for a couple of folks I know.  They ask if you are "Male," or "Female."  Y'all can fill in the blank on that one...

#7 wants to know about a date of birth for Person #1.  I'm not sure of Sadie's Date of Birth, so I'm gonna have to fish up the papers on her.  Crud...  (On a side note...I'm worried about Sadie...she's limping around real bad today like she hurt her left rear leg.  I don't know what's wrong, but she seems like she's okay for a while, and then she gets back to limping.  I don't know if she's REALLY hurt, or playing possum.)

Now, #8 is where it gets complicated.  It gives you instructions to answer BOTH #8 & #9 (before you answer #8).  And, it tells you that "..Hispanic origins are not races."  I'll swear, they're losing me quick on this one!  It's like...am I a Mexican, a Chicano, a Puerto Rican, a Cuban, or something else like maybe a Spaniard?  I need an Excedrin...

Then #9 asks what Sadie's race is.  So, I can pick from a bunch of junk (including "Negro"), and even "Chamorro," or "Jap."  She's yellow, so I might go with Chink...not sure just yet.

Finally, question #10 axes does Sadie  "live or stay somewhere else?"

I wish!!!

So, I don't know.  I'm not sure what to do with this.  I'm thinking of just being a good little boy and filling the whole deal out correctly (no phone number though...they say they need that "if they don't understand an answer.")

But, I really think I will kick myself on down the road for not using a "once in ten year chance" to screw around with folks.  I mean, you only get a chance like this once a decade.

It's a true condurum!