Big Durrinz at Andy's Place!

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The President of the United States stopped by our expansive estate for a visit!

I invited him to sit out in the front yard, and he was gracious enough to durrit!

I was thrilled.

I told him that this particular chair was one that was give to me free!  But, it was the color of purple when it was give to me.

Free.

It's a really solid wood and wicker rocking chair (so...I figured  it would suit him just fine, being a "rocker," and all...), but being purple, it just didn't quite fit in with the motif of Andy's Place...so I painted it plain WHITE several  years ago.

Anyway, I told His Majesty that it was once purple, and that I was pretty sure that Purple is Oprah's favorite color.  So, it'd be okay for him to sit in it.

He just kinda' gave me a blank stare...and sat right down.

Here at Andy's Place, we did indeed participate in "National Empty Chair Day."  I see that my blog friend, Pat Austin did, too!

I'm sure that there are thousands of others that did....maybe billions of us.  (Not sure yet, because all of the numbers won't be in until late, seeing as it's a Holiday)

Anyway...he didn't ask much about getting my vote in November.  I guess he figured he'd be wasting his breath...

Well, ya' learn something new every day...

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Our good friend, and regular contributor, Dr. Jill, sends this bit of knowledge our way this Saturday am.  (BTW, it's true!  I Goobled it.)

A Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens...

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals.

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese.

However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?

Believe it or not ....... a Congress!

I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington!

The Doorbell

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Thanks, Ralph!

"Andy, you need to think about the next guy."

Naw, it wasn't Sadie that said that to me.  Heck, she's only about 7 years old (In human years), and doesn't have nearly enough wisdom or junk to say that to me.  Truth is, I just haven't showed y'all a picture of Sadie in a while, and figured I would.


You're welcome!!!


No, it was my Daddy that said those words to me over 35 years ago.  Those of y'all that know me personally, and some of you that know me "virtually,"  know that I was raised up around a Mom & Pop Appliance & Television Store.


From the time I was big enough to push a broom I was set to work at "The Store."  It was good, too.  I learned a bunch of junk,  was taught that nothing is for free, and met a lot of wonderful folks that shaped my life. 


I started helping Mr. George Dupree install window unit air conditioners when I was 11, but I was about 15 years old when I REALLY went to work at "The Store."  I worked after school, and on weekends.


I was learning the family business.  It was a really good business, too.  (I'd better quit running on with memories, or I'll never get this post finished).





But most importantly, that's where I really met my Daddy.  Not many young fellows really get to meet their Daddy like I did...I mean, at home, at work, etc.


Anyway...
 
One afternoon when I was about 16, a man brought his Whirlpool Washing Machine to "The Store."  It would not go in to the "spin" cycle.  Well, I knew exactly what was wrong.  The "wig-wag" solenoid was bad.  That was almost always what was wrong when a Whirlpool Washing Machine would not go in to the "spin" cycle.


Now, "wig-wag" seems like an odd name to call a Washing Machine part...but, that's really what the good folks at Whirlpool called it.  The reason they called it that is because it "wig-wagged."  It really did.


It sat down there in the bottom of the clothes washer, and just wig-wagged back and forth.  It had two solenoids on it, and when it came time for the Washing Machine to kick into high gear, one of the two solenoids would pick up and the belt would engage for high speed, and the clothes would get spun correctly.  


It was a pretty bitchin' concept!  Fortunately, The Whirlpool Corporation came up with a better design since then, because them damn wig-wag deals sucked.


Just sayin'...


Anyway, I was learning about replacing the damnable part.  I was laying back flat on the tile floor, covered with grease, and doing my best.  I got the damnable solenoid structure put up in place...lock nut locked down...C-clamp put back on...two belts firmly put back in place...


But, there was this wire.  There was this wire that had burned off of the old wig-wag.  It was all burnt up on the end, and had to be connected to the NEW wig-wag that I had spent most of an afternoon learning to replace.  All the other 3 wires that connected to the damnable thing had wire connectors on them that just hooked back up.


No problem.


But, there was this ONE wire that was burned up, and had NO connector to plug back on to the wig-wag solenoid.  So...


I was sick and tired of junk...pulled out my knife, trimmed the old burned insulation off of the wire...twiddled the wire down as fine as I could...stuck it through a little hole in the terminal of the solenoid...wrapped it about 4 times, and went for my electrical tape to seal the deal.


My beloved Daddy was watching the whole time.  I know that he was proud that I'd learned the mechanics of the whole mess.  But, he KNEW that I was about to screw up.


He said to me,  "Andy, you need to think about the next guy."  


I said, "What?"  


He said, "If you don't put a new connector on that wire, and cinch it down tight, that wire is going to burn off at the terminal again pretty soon."


As luck (bad luck) would have it, I was nowhere near the little case that had the connectors.  And, I really didn't care to drag my fat self out from under the machine...make my way to the box with the connectors...and get it done correctly.  


So, I popped off to Daddy something like, "This'll hold okay.!  It'll last as long as this old washer will."

That's when Daddy explained  "Andy, you need to think about the next guy." 


He told me that pretty soon that connection was going to go bad.  And when it did, the gentleman that had brought his Whirlpool Washing Machine in for service would take it somewhere else to be repaired.  And, that the "next guy" was going to just laugh and laugh about what a poor job that the "last guy" had done.  And, he told me that the new wig-wag solenoid would be unusable, because one of the terminals would be burned up, and even if the "next guy" could fix the burned wire right, he'd have nothing to plug the connector on to.


So, I dragged my big old lazy rear off the floor...went and got a wire connector...cinched it down tight...and connected it to the "wig-wag."


What Daddy told me made sense.  

I didn't want "the next guy" to laugh at my poor job.  And, I didn't want to cause "the next guy," or our customer any more aggravation, or expense.


It's kind of like that book about everything you ever needed to know you learned in Kindergarten.  If memory serves, one of those things was "If you make a mess, clean it up."  Something like that...


That's where we are right now as a nation.  Expedience has replaced excellence.


Seems that nobody in DC that has been there for very long gives a rats hiney about "the next guy."  And, it has been that way for a long, long time.


Sad thing is, "the next guy" is not laughing at the piss-poor job that the "last guy" did.


There's nothing funny about it.

Obama urges twittering...

This guy is such a friggin' waste of oxygen!!!

The imbecile goes out and commands his retarded supporters to "Keep the pressure on.  Call...e-mail...tweet..."

But, the REALLY, REALLY, REALLY good thing is that ObozO assured the nation that he and his team are going to be hard at work ALL WEEKEND getting this done...so y'all all need to  "tweet," so as to hep the boy out!!!


Keep the pressure on to do exactly what?  


I'm pretty damn sure that anyone that supports ObozO does not have even the slightest idea what they are supposed to twitter specifically.  Maybe they're supposed to "tweet" that "President Obama has got this all figured out.  His plan is what you should support."


Ummmm...

Sounds like a good idea for a regular blog quiz.  "Name ObozO's Plan!"  That would be pretty cool, because NOBODY would ever be able to cash in on the prize, because ObozO has NEVER had a plan.  For anything.


Maybe they're supposed to "tweet" about how Harry Reid's plan is bitchin', and cool, and how he really, really knows junk about budgetary things because he has been in Washington for 70 years, and looks so damn youthful, too!  (I know it ain't Christian to make fun of the appearance of folks like Harry, but it's just the cold, hard, truth that the blazing Nevada sun, a lower fiber diet, and making deals with the devil will make your face look like his).

Just sayin'...


So here we are.  We truly are at a crucial time.  Seriously, this junk can not continue.  And, we've got a President of the United States urging his fellow idiots to "tweet."


Really?


Yeah, Really.

And, I had to look at Schumer's frightening mug, and Durbin's shit-eating grin during their lie-fest this evening.


We are so WAY screwed.

(I know that our nation fought a bloody, brutal war over "secession."  I'm thinking that we might ought to look in to "expulsion."  I'm thinking  Illinois, New York, and California would probably be enough to expel.  Using ObozO math, that would get us back down to all 57 States, like it's supposed to be.  I ain't no Constitutional scholar, but I bet there's something in there about cutting out ingrown toe-nails, nose hair, and cancer before you get so damn uncomfortable, ugly, or sick that you die, or look like you already have).


This is serious stuff.  


At this point, I'd say just go ahead on and default.  Go ahead on and affirm to the whole world what it already knows...


We're broke.  We're getting broker.  We've got obligations we can not meet.


Hell, everybody knows it.


I mean, everybody except for ObozO's "tweeters."


Morons...

In moments like these, when I think about DC, the process, the massive hole those that came before dug, and the way the whole mess is being "played" by the putrid piles of pols,  I'm reminded of  Johnny Cash. 

The Facebook ain't completely worthless.

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One of my friends on The Facebook (who I've never really met, but comes up with good junk) posted this shot.  Allegedly, it was taken in Marshall, Texas (about 45 miles west of me on I-20), and paid for by a local citizen.


I want one.

Gubmit Snowplow!

(I stole this .gif off Theo last year, and found it in the archives.)


Forgive my cynicism, but even though January comes along with a new "Congerss", I fear we're gonna' get much the same result.

Liberty!

Stolen off Theo

Okay...everybody's already seen this one...

But, I reckon I gotta enter the echo chamber once in a while.

WOW!    WOW!    WOW!    WOW!   WOW  wow wow...

T.S.A. - Just a link.

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Soldiers encounter the TSA while headed home.

The hits keep coming...

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I'll swear!  Day, after day, after day, after day, we continue to get visits from pervs looking for pictures of Helen Thomas, or Lindsey Evans, or that old male stripper dude I posted a while back because I was looking to figure out my male stripper name.

Sigh...

But, ya' gotta love this one.  Here is the most recent Sitemeter results of the millions of daily visits we get.

Note the search terms used by the obviously extremely astute searcher that made his/her way to Andy's Place.  I surely do invite said searcher to become a regular visitor!!!  Seems like my kind of folks.

As always, click on the little picture deal to make it mo' bigger.

It's in French...

...but it's only half a minute.




Stolen off Theo Spark. Oh wait, here's something else I stole off him...

Nyuk (#830)...The Taxman...

True story here.  I am in need of some information from the Internal Revenue Service that I can not lay my hands on.  So, a quick The Gooble Search© tells me that I need to fill out a Form 4506-T.

So, I downloaded the form, printed it out, filled in the blanks, etc.  On the second page of the form, it tells you where to file it, depending on where you live.  The form lists different addresses depending on where you reside to which you should mail the form. 

I started to just fax it, but since the form has some sensitive personal information on it, I decided that I didn't want it to fall in to the wrong hands, so I decided to spring for the 40-something cent postage stamp, and hand it over to the trustworthy folks at the United States Postal Service.

I just had to laugh when I went through the mailing instructions.  Seems like Mr. Gubmit IRS tax man classifies my locale along with Texas, Mississippi, Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, and...

Nyuk!

But, it don't hurt my feelings one bit.  Especially since they threw in the APOs & FPOs...

Today's The Day, and Tonight's The Night!!!

 Things to do today:

1)  Send everything you have left after paying your property taxes, sales taxes, State, and local income taxes, to DC today.  If you don't have enough left to pay your fair share, go take out a loan.  Interest rates are reasonable.  (Make sure it is postmarked TODAY!)  Go do it!

2)  Find a "Tax Day" Tea Party in your area, and attend.

The Shreveport/Bossier Bossier/Shreveport Tea Party is scheduled to kick off at about 5:30 pm at the Shreveport Bossier City Civic Center tonight.  I know I'm gonna be there early (unless providentially hindered), because my water bill is  due, and I need to drop it off in the "drop box" so we don't get cut off.  

But, you might want to get there early, too!  (even if your water bill is not due)

Ya' know, most of the good visiting junk happens before the band cranks up, and the talkers start talking.  Just sayin'...

I thought about shaving my head today, but I'm sure I will run into people that I know, and I do not want people to point at me and laugh, or ask me, "Andy...is something wrong?  You don't have cancer or nothin' do you?"

Be there, or be square!!! (Heh! I just made that up!)

Heh! Kathy Shaidle posted a "funny" about a call that radio host Neil Boortz got.  It's a short piece.  Finally:  Why black folks don't go to tea parties.

And, courtesy of CL, I'll proudly state that  I! AM! IS! A! TEABAGGER!!!

Justice Hillary?

When I first heard that Stevens was gonna finally allow himself to be wheeled from the Supreme Court after 132 years of trying to screw up everything our Founders established, I thought, "Hillary."

It seems that her name is being floated as a possible nominee by Obozo.  Of course, it would solve a political problem for Barry.  I have suspected for a good while (and even now more so as Obama's poll numbers drop) that Hillary would bide her time...subvert whatever she could in the administration...resign over "philosophical differences" soon, and challenge Barry in 2012.

Will she?  Probably not.  But, the time for an incumbent challenge has NEVER been better.  And, if things continue to deteriorate, the chances become better for Hil.  (Well, maybe Kennedy had half a shot against Carter...four peas in a pod, here.) 

But, would Hillary accept the nomination?  Would the prospect of the few Republicans still walking erect, dredging up Whitewater, and Cattle Futures, and Bimbo Eruptions be too much for Hillary to want to deal with?

And, then...why?  Hillary fashions herself as a Trailblazer!  A Pioneer!  A Ground-breaker!  If there had NEVER been a woman on the SCOTUS, she might jump at it.  But, to just be another gal in the room?

Nah...

Just a quick observation by The Mrs.

We were watching a local news report featuring the owner of a tanning salon in the area.

She was ticked off that her industry (mostly female owned), and her customers (mostly female) were being hit with a 10% tax by the new Health Care Deform bill that ObozO just signed.  If you think about it, it does unfairly target women...especially white women.  I mean, I don't reckon there are many black, or Hispanic gals that hit the tanning beds.

I guess I had missed this, but the report said the "tanning tax" had replaced the "cosmetic surgery tax" that was in the original bill.  Sure enough, it did.  (btw, the link is worth hitting just for the "view."  Just sayin'...

The Mrs. observed, "Well of course!  Nancy Pelosi and those ugly skag Democrats don't want to pay taxes on their Botox, or face lifts."

Well...the BIG DAY has finally arrived!

Mr. Postman brought it today!!!

Now, I have been reading, and have posted some links, ideas, etc. about how to answer this 2010 Census. There are a wide range of ideas about how to fill the dang thing out.

Before we go any further, I want to point you to a blog post done by my friend, Patrick Conlon. Go read it, and come back (if you want to).

If you read it, note this quote:  In Article I, Section 2, the Constitution says that an “Enumeration” must be conducted every ten years “in such Manner as [Congress] shall by Law direct.” Congress has directed through a federal law that anyone who “refuses or willfully neglects…to answer, to the best of his knowledge, any of the questions” on the Census form can be fined $100 (18 U.S.C. § 221). If you deliberately give a false answer, you can be fined up to $500. 

So, as I open up the Census form sent especially to Andy's Place, and take me a gander, what do I see?

The "Start here" deal says you're only supposed to count all people (Including babies...like folks would think a "baby" ain't a people?) that "sleep here most of the time." 

Now, this is gonna be a problem for some folks.  I know there were many years when we had a bunch of things that slept here most of the time, but I wasn't sure whether they were a "people" or not.  Just sayin'...

It's also asking me in question #1 how many people were "staying" at Andy's Place on April 1, 2010.  Now, that's a hard one to answer, because it ain't April 1, 2010 yet!  Heck, no telling how many people will be "staying" here in a couple of weeks... (The population at Andy's Place is fluid.")

Question #2 asks if there were any additional people "staying" here that I didn't include in question #1.  Gee, I dunno!!!  I mean, if they were "staying" here, and I didn't know between answering question #1 & #2...well, what does that say about ME?

Question #3 axes if Andy's Place is a house, apartment, or trailer house that is owned by "the bank," "somebody else," or "Andy."  And, it even wants to know if somebody's living here without "payment of rent."  Well, heck yeah!  There's always been a bunch of folks living here without paying a single dime of rent.  So, should I check several of those boxes?  I'm confused...

Question #4 asks for my telephone number.  Screw 'em!  I think this is one of them telemarketing dealies.  Screw 'em...

When I get to question #5, it gets personal.  They want a NAME!  Now, why do you need to know somebody's name in order to know they are a "person?"  I was thinking about penciling in "Sadie Lou Sunshine."  (That's my retarded registered yellow lab's AKC registration name)  But, I might get a big fine and all if I do.  (Maybe up to Five Grand)

#6 is gonna be a BIG problem for a couple of folks I know.  They ask if you are "Male," or "Female."  Y'all can fill in the blank on that one...

#7 wants to know about a date of birth for Person #1.  I'm not sure of Sadie's Date of Birth, so I'm gonna have to fish up the papers on her.  Crud...  (On a side note...I'm worried about Sadie...she's limping around real bad today like she hurt her left rear leg.  I don't know what's wrong, but she seems like she's okay for a while, and then she gets back to limping.  I don't know if she's REALLY hurt, or playing possum.)

Now, #8 is where it gets complicated.  It gives you instructions to answer BOTH #8 & #9 (before you answer #8).  And, it tells you that "..Hispanic origins are not races."  I'll swear, they're losing me quick on this one!  It's like...am I a Mexican, a Chicano, a Puerto Rican, a Cuban, or something else like maybe a Spaniard?  I need an Excedrin...

Then #9 asks what Sadie's race is.  So, I can pick from a bunch of junk (including "Negro"), and even "Chamorro," or "Jap."  She's yellow, so I might go with Chink...not sure just yet.

Finally, question #10 axes does Sadie  "live or stay somewhere else?"

I wish!!!

So, I don't know.  I'm not sure what to do with this.  I'm thinking of just being a good little boy and filling the whole deal out correctly (no phone number though...they say they need that "if they don't understand an answer.")

But, I really think I will kick myself on down the road for not using a "once in ten year chance" to screw around with folks.  I mean, you only get a chance like this once a decade.

It's a true condurum!