ALIENS REJOICE OVER PRIMARY VICTORIES...

Hey y'all!

I came across this article on the Redneck Press. I thought I'd pass it along.

ALIENS REJOICE OVER PRIMARY VICTORIES

(RP) Stephenville, TX
3-5-2008
Ervis Younger (RP)

In an election year that has had "more downs than ups," the Alien community in the US has reason for celebration today.

Even though their brethren have been unceremoniously booted from the Democrat, and Republican Presidential Primaries, Aliens claim that they still remain a viable force in American politics.


Congressmen Dennis Kucinich, and Dr. Ron Paul both coasted to easy wins in their primary bids to remain in the US House of Representatives. In an odd, (almost cosmic) confluence of events, Kucinich and Paul faced challenges to their legislative careers on the very day of "Super Tuesday II." Their wins in Ohio and Texas caused great, yet unreported rejoicing among the Alien population of the US.

While most citizens of the US were consumed with the Democrat Presidential Primary race between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton, Aliens were working quietly behind the scenes to shore up their brethren in the US Congress.

In an exclusive telephone interview with the RP, Marfazian Wee (Supreme Commander of the Federation for Alien Dominance) spoke openly with me about the effect of Aliens on US politics.

"I don't think that most Americans really understand that we are not on the side of illegal aliens in the US. When someone hears the word "alien," they think about Paco, Jose, or Hammoud!"

He continued "No, we Aliens came here legally. We have done the hard work. We have paid the price. We have landed in the corn fields. We have dissected the cattle. We have jammed the local radio stations. We have frightened the beejeebers out of local Sheriffs. We have made a mockery of Jimmy Carter. We have created beautiful artwork all across Iowa, Nebraska, and even Idaho with our triangular crafts."

When I asked Wee how the FAD could change the public image, he responded. "Well, it is difficult. Dr. Ron Paul has one of the strongest stands in the US Congress against illegal aliens. We applaud that! We also applaud Congressman Tancredo of Colorado, even though he is not one of ours, for his strong stand."

"It is very difficult to convey the nuances of legal Alien life to the public at large. Our great hope was that Dennis Kucinich could carry the mantle into the future. After his demise as a viable candidate in the Democrat race, the FAD marshaled its' forces behind Dr. Ron Paul. Once again we were not successful in our efforts. Truthfully, there have been some dark days here lately at The Federation."

I asked him what it meant to the FAD to see both Kucinich and Paul cruise to easy victories in their Primaries last night. Wee responded, "It was bittersweet. I really hoped for Denny to make it all the way to the Oval Office. But he understood that it was crucial to our cause that he retain his House seat. Then when Ronny had to drop out temporarily I thought that all was lost. But as all good Aliens do, they cut their losses and lived to fight another day."

"I am grateful that we Aliens will likely maintain a presence in the U.S. House of Representatives. The Alieatariot are thrilled today, and The Federation thanks them for their hard work on behalf of our Candidates. Even though unheartened, they remained faithful to our cause."

Wee continued, "Think about it. If Denny and Ronny hadn't won their Congressional Primary Elections, we would have been laughed off the planet. The spirit of our children would have been broken. Dr. Paul would have had to go back to delivering human infants, and Denny would have had to go back to...well...to...well... I'm not sure what Denny would go back to, but at least he would have a hot wife to go back to it with."

I asked Wee what it means to The Federation "long-term" to keep Kucinich and Paul in the US House of Representatives. I was surprised at his answer. He was quite pragmatic, very frank, and a bit "down" in answering.

"Not really so much. I am getting old now. I turned 12,000 about 30 years ago. I had high hopes for our cause in my younger days, but this younger generation of Aliens really makes me shake my heads. I do see a few young Alien bucks coming up that might have a future in US politics. But at this point I don't have much HOPE for a CHANGE."

-thirty-

Ervis Younger (RP)