Saturday, July 10, 2010

So, how did "Andy's Big Adventure" go???

Well, I'm glad I asked...

But, probably not so much.

I had told y'all yesterday that I was getting the heck out of this raggedy hacienda on an unexpected "adventure."

On approximately exactly two hours of sleep we took off for the nation of Arkansas at 2:45 am.  I had my passport in hand, and was well-armed with cash and my debit card (ready to bribe the border guards, if need be).

It was just lovely.  And, a real "Natural, Land of Opportunity" place!

"Adventure" results...9 hours of driving on roads with folks that obviously get their license at the TG&Y, no lights on the highways, very few indicators of upcoming highway intersections, and a smashed skunk every 42 feet...I broke laws in 3 Parishes, and 12 Counties...saw more "Hysterical Markers" than most nations can come up with...and arrived back at home by 12:45 pm today.

It was just lovely.

Did I mention that it was just lovely?  And "Natural."  And "The Land of Opportunity."

The Mrs. and me were on a mission from God.  That is the only reason that we persevered.  Had there not been a divine purpose, I'd have turned that Sable around at Emerson.  Seriously.

Actually, it was not all that bad.  I know I'm probably raising the reds on some of my best blog buddies who hail from Arkansas, but I've gotta take my shots when I can get 'em...

It's a rule.

Truth is, things just didn't work out like my great expectations had plotted in my feeble brain.  I won't call it a "good day," and I won't call it a "bad day."  It was just a day. 

The whole story is too long to bore y'all with any further.  But, I will anyway.  I got to meet another fine young US Soldier today that we had to locate about 3:30 this am.  He lives WAY OUT IN THE COUNTRY...I MEAN WAY OUT there on a road with no signs, or much gravel.  Heckuva great young man, too!

Did I mention that he is a heckuva great young man?  And, did I mention that his place is hard to locate?  At 3:30 am?  On a dirt road with no lights or signs?

He's a fine man.  A home owner.  A young father.  But, he is so soft-spoken that I couldn't hear him giving me directions to get back to some kind of a road with lights on it.  And, no matter how hard I urged him to speak up, it all came out like "Yes sir, no sir, I'm not sure sir, just as fast as you want to sir, I think we missed the turnoff at Gurdon sir, I'm not sure where we are sir because when I take my own truck it has GPS sir, Thank you sir for the lift...please take this $20 for gas money sir."

So, why am I bitching about the day? 

Because I don't know squat about what's important, and what's not!

There was a bunch of other junk that happened along the way that was interesting, and funny.  REALLY FUNNY, like when everybody in the car lifted our hands up at the same time when we topped a hill on some unlighted one lane road at 70 we were on a ride at Six Flags.  At about 4:30 am.  Completely lost, and needing to badly get to Hot Springs by 7:00 am.

So, to put a period on this waste of your time...

It was a good day.  Thinking back on it now, it was a "big adventure."  Other factors played in to some of the disappointment...payed too much for a bad breakfast that took too long to be served...three gas stations in a row whose pumps would not accept debit cards, due to some supposed outage of phone line service, The Mrs. falling ill on the way to Hot Springs (probably had nothing to do with my almost blind driving in the darkness...nah...couldn't have been that), and the fact that it rained like a Noah level deluge deal most of the day.

But, it was a good day.  The thrust of our mission was accomplished.  Soldiers delivered! (with two minutes to spare)

And, come to think of it...memories made...

Hot Springs was a wash out.  So, we just came on home.  Come to think of it...I like it here better than anywhere else anyway.


  1. If you were helping out those young soldiers, you were on a mission from God. I'm proud of you, I might even admit I know you if someone asks!

    elamel - is that like that paint stuff?

  2. Jim, that is very kind of you to say, sir. But the truth is, those young men are my heroes.

    And, I doubt that they will face anything much more fearful than ME, driving in the dark.

    Seriously. IED's got nothin' on me! The poor Mrs. ... Bless her heart...

  3. Bravo, amigo :)

  4. Oh Nancy!

    Girl, thank you so much for that video. It has been a coon's age since I heard some Tracy Lawrence. Goodness gracious, the guy was one of the great "heart to heart" songwriters ever.

    The "bravo" goes to those young men, at least in my book. I was just looking at it as an opportunity to get out of town, and spend a day away from the humdrum with my wife, in a place that I have many fond memories.

    I sure wish that I really was the kind of "friend" that Tracy was singing about. I KNOW that those young heroes are...

    Regardless, thanks for the big old reminder of Tracy's work. It put a big old smile on my sleep-deprived face. Seriously! Thanks...

  5. Sometimes the best part of a vacation is realizing how much you like to be at home!

  6. Well, I haven't read what follows but: Good On Ya! A Mission From God, indeed. But we've been instructed by Hollywood that a Mission From God needs appropriate music, so I hope ya had it on board. And there appears to be similarities in the way you drive, too. Or at least in the way you describe the experience.

  7. As the mother of a soldier...thanks for helping those guys out! And adventure on the way? Just icing on the cake, lol!

  8. Kristin: Home really is my favorite place to be. But, "vacation" (almost anywhere) comes in a close second.

    Mrs. Who: Thank your son for us, please! I've got two in the military myself, and know the pride that comes from that.

    Buck: of favorite films of ALL TIME! GENIUS in my book. I am not a film watcher, but I'll bet I've seen that thing 30 times.

    And yeah, even though it was extremely out of character (which I think added to Pam's illness), that's about what it was like for the first 4 1/2 hours of driving.

    On the way home in daylight, I was my normal Grandma self.

  9. I'll add my thanks for accepting The Mission. Especially in rural Arkansas, in the dark, in the rain. And a special thanks to the soldiers and their families.

    That said -- will the gloves come off on the Arkansas characteriztion? Probably not til football season. But I'll let you in on a few secrets, anyway.

    In Arkansas, we like to give directions that are dependent on landmarks that no longer exist: "You head down the gravel road, then take a left at the first hickory tree and follow that dirt road until you get to where the old Smithers place used to be. You can't miss it."

    That's one of our fa-vo-right jollies -- gives us another reason to laugh at the furriners and flatlanders.

    Oh, and that whoopsy doodle ride on the two-lane like a ride at Six Flags? That should be "like at Magic Springs," one of the world's least solvent and most themeless theme parks. But it's on one of the paved highways so you probably missed it.

    Hope Mrs. Andy is feeling perkier today.

  10. Moogie, I sent you an e-mail. If you didn't get it, check your SPAM folder.

    If it's not in there, I did it wrong.

  11. Got it! You musta did it right.


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?