Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Just in time for Christmas gift giving! (#2)


Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...


As y'all know by now, I am a true fan of The Gooble Mail©.  I just love the fact that my ONE inbox can catch all the various mail from personal/business/Daddy's business/extremely private e-mail addresses all in one spot.

I love it.

But, what I don't care much for is the advertisements that The Gooble Mail© throws up there. I mean, it's kinda spooky, really. It's like they have read your computer letters already, and throw ads at you that pertain to what folks have written you about.

I know y'all know what I mean, and most of them don't get a second glance from me. But, today one REALLY CAUGHT MY ATTENTION.

Lookit! (You're gonna have to click on it to see the big picture)

As you can see, my buddy Debbie sent me an e-mail containing a very interesting story about one dog that acts as a "seeing eye dog" for her blind dog friend.  It's a really cool story, really.

But, The Gooble Mail© throws in an ad about how you can buy this product that will DNA test your dog, so that you can know what kind of breed your half-breed mutt just might be. just KILLS me!  It "makes a great gift for your dog!"


I'm sure that is absotively true, too.  I mean, don't you know that there are thousands (if not millions) of dogs just hammerin' around the yard...marking trees, chasing butterflies, lickin' their butts, eatin' their own dried up crap...I mean, just seemingly happy as clams.

But, deep inside they are struggling...I mean, suffering horribly because they don't really know their heritage.  Sure, they try hard to ACT LIKE they are perfectly content with a belly-rub & a game of fetch the tennis ball...

But, it's all an act.  They are miserable.  I mean, unless you're a pet owner guardian like me that has Sadie's AKC Registration papers framed, and prominently displayed where she can see it, your dog is likely to be suffering trauma due to the fact that they're just not really sure who they Daddy folks iz...or, they Mama, too!

You can solve all this.  It would make "a great gift for your dog."

Heck, I think you owe it to 'em to get you one of these DNA swab kits, so they can finally put to rest all their doubts, and begin to walk in their true identity.

I couldn't help myself...I had to chase the link.  And, I'm so, so, way glad that I did. 

Look, you can even "Host Your Own Swab-A-Thon!"

Now, I don't know about y'all, but that sounds like a helluva good time to me!  I mean, you can gather up all the neighbors dogs, all the strays that just roam the 'hood crapping in your yard & chasing meter-readers & scaring the crud out of little kids trying to play on the sidewalk...and host you a "Swab-A-Thon."

You can probably improve your neighborhood by at least 175%, just by helping all these mutts figure out exactly what breed of useless they generated off of! 

Do it for the chirrens!

I did find the site pretty interesting...they even gots a video at the bottom explaining why it's a really great idea to DNA swab your dog for breed mixture.  So, while you're pondering what to give your pooch for Christmas, y'all might want to keep this "gift" idea in mind.

BTW, as far as I can tell there ain't nothing in there about child support...


  1. That might be just the thing for my granddog, Belle Coleman. She is very conflicted for a couple of reasons.
    1. She is mostly black lab but there is clearly something else mixed in, not sure what.
    2. Her people moved her to Haughton a few years ago. That never helps the self esteem.
    She is very needy, emotionally speaking, and this might be a big confidence booster. Thanks for the idea!

  2. Andy that has got to be one of the funniest things that I have read in a very long time. You really tend to go off on tangents, huh?

  3. Katie the wonder dog's mom was a very pretty yellow lab. Her daddy was some mutt that snuck into the back yard at an opportune time. I'm fairly certain that her daddy had a lot of lab in him but not all.
    She seems happy, but, that inner conflict might explain her OCD and ADHD concerning swimming and playing ball. Hmm, might be worth the investment to give her some inner peace.

  4. I forgot to mention that I haven't framed Niki's papers; I wouldn't want the unregistered (and unregisterable Jazz due to an unfortunate pairing of her mother to an unregistered daddy), I wouldn't want her to feel inferior.

  5. OTOH, sumtimes you're better off NOT knowing about your ancestors, both immediate and otherwise. That applies to dogs, too.

  6. I tried one of these tests on our Shitty Zoo, Toby, and discovered his mama was an O'Cedar mop.

    Then I tried in on myself and learned to my great surprise that my great, great grandfather was a Dachsund. Yep, a dang weiner dog. My wife said it made sense...

  7. Dadman, you crack me up!

    This is one of the funniest posts I've read in quite awhile -- thanks!

    I wonder if this is connected to the the outfit that does the DNA testing for that apartment complex in New Hampshire that evicts its tenants on the second un-scooped poop offense? "PooPrints." I posted about it back in July. I'll bet those New Hampshire-ites have Swab-a-thons!

  8. Nyuk! Hey, thanks to you all. I knew that this would be very helpful information to everyone.

    I live to serve.


    O'Cedar mop...weiner dog... Nyuk! I read your comment to Pam, and she's still giggling. Nyuk...

    Moogie, you did a post a couple of years back about either dogs, or dog food, or dog toys, or dog turds or something that literally made me laugh until I cried. I can't remember exactly what it was, but you probably know the one I'm talking about.

    If you do, would you please e-mail me a link, or drop it in the comments, ma'am?

  9. I'm still laughing at your post and the comments.

    I have 1 question. Does this work on humans too? I know some of my sibelings don't belong in my family. So I'm wondering now What breed they can belong too :)

  10. This is the PooPrints post. Is that the one you meant?:

    You know, I still can;t figure out how to do a link in the comments. Buck even sent me a template and everything!

  11. No Moogie, that was not it. Even though that one was funny...there was another one.

    Imma have to think on it, and search your blog. I know that it was a rerun of something you had posted even way further back.

    Heck, maybe it wasn't even about dogs. It's hell getting old...

  12. Y'know, I think most dogs would be perfectly happy with a big rawhide bone, or a noisy chewtoy.

    And Dadman's comment made me snarf my milk. Damn that hurts.

  13. Dave, ain't it the truth? Dadman is a funny guy.

    You guys have something in common, btw. Other than being funny guys, I mean.

  14. Andy, I have to concur with your commenters - this is one of your more hilarious posts. And as we all know one good chuckle tends to inspire another.

    I do need to mention that there are certain advantages to being the descendent of a weiner dog. I won't mention them here, but you're welcome to contact my dear wife. She can give you all the exciting details...


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?