Monday, November 22, 2010

It's time for our annual "We Hate Stinkin' Arkansas Week" here at Andy's Place...

 ...but to be honest, I just don't have the time for it.

I know that this is the week that at least 13 of our 14 regular visitors look forward to all year (we're looking at you, Moogie).   And  I'm sure that y'all are all deeply disappointed that I won't really have time to post TRUE FACTS about how ignurnt, and bakcwards the Hawgz are, each and every day, in the run-up to the impending slaughter.

Over the past 51 years of maintaining this blog, I have well chronicled just how worthless the entire Land of Opportunity/Natural State/Whatever is...and just how rotten their miserable state is...and their miserable school...and miserable fans, etc.  

I wasn't using "labels" on this blog at the time, so I can't bring up a big long list of personal stories, videos, and things that sound like jokes (but are really true) about the stinkin' Arkies, and their stinkin' Hawgz.

Honestly, I just don't have the time this Thanksgiving Week to do it.  


So, let me just call the game right now, and get it over with.  

LSU - 31 - Stinkin' Hawgz - 9.

Okay, here's Shirley Q and some cute little misguided Hawg fan.

Here's a 'nuther'n.

And a 'nuther'n.

And a 'nother'n.

And, here's a computer letter Buck sent me...

Razorback Corches go a' hunting...

Bobby Petrino and Garrick McGee hired a pilot to fly them to Canada  to hunt moose.  They bagged four.

As they started loading the plane for the return trip home, the pilot tells them the plane can take only two moose.

They objected strongly, stating, "Last year we shot four moose, and the pilot let us put them all on board, and he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all four were loaded..

Unfortunately, even at full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and crashed a few minutes after takeoff.

Climbing out of the wreck, Corch Petrino asked Corch McGee, "Any idea where we are?"

McGee replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."

And, right here is a video of some of the sharpest pencils in the Hawg can.

  That is all...


  1. If Jefferson keeps it up and if the defense shows up, the Hawgs don't stand a chance.

  2. Jim, I'll admit that I was shocked that the D missed the bus to the game against the Smiley Bear Klan.

    I do not know if they looked past Ole Miss, or what...but what I believe to be the best D in the nation really did take the week off.

    It's not gonna happen again. I give Arkansas 9 in my perdiction. But, I'm the generous sort.

    This one will not even be interesting to watch. I just know it.

  3. You put my stuff out in the street without no elaboration, Young Andy. And now Moogie's gonna come lookin' for me, especially as I claimed to be Switzerland in this backwater internecine squabble at her place. You could have at least acknowledged that names were changed to protect the guilty. ;-)

  4. Okay, Buck. I owe you an apology, and an explanation to other friends/visitors/whatever.

    The e-mail was really about how Lane Kiffin, and his Daddy went a'hunting. That was, in fact, a true story.

  5. I heard it was Houston and Danny Nutt on the hunting trip.

    Thin ice, Buck! Thin ice!

    It's a shame you have so little time this week, Andy. It looks like I shall have to shoulder the burden of educating the masses over at my place and here, to wit:

    Lesson 1: the guy who came up with the brilliant plan to weigh down one corner of the car in the ditch clearly did his undergrauate work at LSU College of Engineering. How do I know that?

    2. because that's the LSU defense I see trapped inside the car. Someone should send them food and water because it's gonna be a long week.

    It's on!

  6. P.S. -- love me some Shirley Q!

    Switzerland, Buck? I'm thinking more like Vichy France.

  7. Hey Moogie! I'm happy for you that you have time to dream this week.

    I, on the other hand, am gonna be caught up in real life. Sigh...

    But, dream on, Sister! There is no stinkin' way that any LSU undergrad (dropout or not) would be caught dead at a Hawg tailgate party...the ignurnt might rub off.

    And, yes ma'am, that video was shot right on a side street near the stadium. At least that's what the commentary on the video says.

    Heck, you mighta rented that same house yourself back in the day. Good memories, huh?

    Moogie, I really don't have the time, nor energy to do this up right this year. But, I do love me some Shirley Q, too. If you didn't know it, Shirley Q is a big, fat homo named Chuck Knipp.

    And he is a big Razorbacker...obviously. As are all big, fat, homos.

  8. Lane Kiffin? Who dat? (I use the phrase at the not inconsequential risk of getting my ass sued, btw)

    True fact: the joke was originally about two coonasses who went moose hunting. Andy told me in an e-mail he was gonna change the names, which is his prerogative. But it AIN'T his prerogative to get my sensitive body parts caught up in the wringer that is Moogie.

    Vichy France. Heh.

  9. See Buck, the joke as presented to me had a false premise. Coonasses do NOT go moose hunting. A true Coonass will not travel north of Alexandria, unless it's to make a living.

    Certainly not to go hunting. You will catch one or two that might sneak all the way up to Natchitoches for some meat pies, but it is frowned upon to ever slip further west than Houston, further north than Campti, or further east than d'Ibberville.

  10. Wooooooo Pig Sooooiiiiieeee! GO HOGS! :)

  11. I thought all they did in the Ark' was make and conceal stills?

  12. Hey Jill! I forgot we had TWO Arkies in the house. Sorry!

    Skunks, I think you've got them confused with Kentucky. They tried making stills in Arkansas in the way back, but nobody could ever figger out how to operate one.

  13. You have a third Arkie. I'm just usually anonymous! And please tell me you aren't really crazy enough to think LSU is going to hold Arkansas to 9 points!


    P.S. I have tickets to the game!

  14. Hey DeAnna! Long time. Ya' know, I actually used to be a Razorback fan before the Southwest Conference screwed me up and dissolved.

    It's a shame that you are going to travel all that way just to see Arkansas score 9 points. Maybe 9. But, it'll be good for the economy, so go do it. Spend a lot of money, and then drown your sorrows after it's all over.

  15. Hey Andy, Haven't had the computer on much this week since I've been off work. That neighborhood actually looks like one in North Corvallis, Oregon. You know, where the OSU Beavers reside. Matter of fact, I though I saw a beaver t-shirt in that crowd!

  16. Andy and Skunks...Iffin those Arkansas still makers were to consult some of Dale's family in Kentucky, they could have got their stills in operation....of course, they might have tried to contact his kinfolk but all of them were in the Penn doing time cuz Brother Sherriff didn't get his share and had them arrested. True story....Just sayin'!

  17. Paul, Nyuk! Innominatus is gonna love that one, him being a big Beaver fan...Nyuk...

    Dr. Jill, I have zero doubt that the story you tell is true. They's lots of Brother Shurffs like that in them thar woods.

  18. Hey, DeAnna! I'll see you at the tailgate! (No tickets, but lots of food, a big screen, and a generator!) And after the Hogs score their 34 to the Tiggers' 10, I'll help you get your car out of the ditch by finding some engineering students from Fayetteville who have the phone number for Triple-A instead of bright ideas!

    Then we can go to Jill's place to drain the still!

    Wooo Pig!!!!

    Beware the wringer, Buck!

    And, Go Beavs!


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?