Monday, February 21, 2011

You know what's coming...

Our buddy, Paul The Fireguy, passes this one on.

All golfers should live so long as to be this kind of old man!

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of  you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped  their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the  world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the  congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of bitches."

(This is me writing here now...not the g-mail that Paul sent.)  You know, this actually reminded me of a funny joke I once heard about this Roman Catholic Priest that once called in sick for mass to go play golf...and how God messed around with him. It was funny. Trust me.


  1. Andy, I'm not that old, but I have outlived a lot of "them SOB's"
    good joke!

  2. I'm not a golfer...but I hope to be able to say the same thing one day.

  3. I've already outlived a couple o' enemies myself... but not the ones I REALLY hate. I'm hopeful, tho.

  4. When I would take my mother to meet all her old friends, they would spend the first 10 minutes catching up on who died and the next 10 telling lies about how nice those people were. Surely there were a few SOB's out there but at least in public no one wanted to point them out.

  5. Point of order - It's just downright mean to tell half a joke.

    If you don't want to post it all, that's fine, but at least post a link to the full version.

    Googling's hard word, and I have delicate fingers :-)


Don't cuss nobody out, okay?