E-mail scam alert...

E-mail Warning!

If you receive an email

from the

Department of Health

telling you not to eat

canned pork

because of

swine flu............


Ignore it.

It's just Spam.

Sunday Morning Funny...Courtin'

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

I've got a lot going on today, but I wanted to drop y'all a cute one. I mentioned yesterday that I had seen two really cute videos. The first one is below, if ya' missed it...it's from a high school reunion.

I'll bet that more than just a few men can identify with as they think back on their courtin' days. And I'm posting it at the risk of offending the ladies. Again.

Stolen off of Sully Oh Love!

The Gooble is WRONG! #43...and she's fighting back!

(I know what you're thinking..."Andy is going through a 'phase' that he'll probably grow out of and then he'll stop boring us with this junk.")

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

I had promised y'all a "Monster Post" on the wrongness of The Gooble today. But, I'm getting kinda skittish about it. So, this will not be it. Oooooohhhh just wait 'til I show y'all just completely how way wrong The Gooble is in my Monster Post...it's exciting! Trust me.

Now, don't get me wrong...I ain't afraid of The Gooble!!! (heck, I've been a married man for over 30 years now...not much scares me any more) But, ever since I became the self-appointed "The Wrongness of The Gooble Czar ™ ," some awfully strange things have been passing through Andy's Place...

I have already told y'all about how Andy's Place is #1 in The Gooble search terms for "don't trust China," "Midget Wrestling" images, "Prostitutes Monroe, LA," and "my son is a fat slob." Then there is "Andy's Place dog sex," and others I'd rather not mention.

I swear, you'd think that I own The Gooble!!! I had probably 200 visits yesterday from folks searching for Hanna Giles or James O'keefe photos (evidently, I put up a pretty good one way back).

(Editorial note) Andy's Place has also been the "go to" spot on the worldwide computer to find out whether Eli Manning is a Christian or not. If I'm lyin', I'm dyin', I get no less than 30 visits a day from people searching for "Is Eli Manning a Christian...or Eli Manning Christian...or Eli Manning interview is he a christian, etc." (You'd be surprised at how many people wonder about that). I started to just delete the post that draws all that attention from the Eli-curious, but decided to just go back in and post this at the top of it:

NOTE: THIS IS NOT REAL INFORMATION CONCERNING ELI MANNING! IF YOU ARE TRYING TO FIND OUT WHETHER ELI MANNING IS A CHRISTIAN OR NOT, PLEASE TRY OTHER SOURCES.

THIS WAS A VERY LAME ATTEMPT AT HUMOR! GOOGLE SEARCH HAS LEAD YOU TO THE WRONG PLACE! AGAIN!

Ya' see? I'm trying to be a good citizen of the worldwide computer, dangit!

But now it seems that somebody at The Gooble has taken note of my criticism of the wrongness of their search results. And, they're fighting back.

So, the other day some poor soul searches for images of a "fat guy on vacation." Now, these things are not unusual around here. This is a very "image heavy" blog. About 90% of our visits come from image searches. And, I can live with that. I'm happy to be of service to the image seeking public.

So, I was pretty sure that I had MANY pictures of fat guys on vacation posted in the archives. But, what image did The Gooble send the searcher to? This 'un! This one right here...

(as always, click on an image to get it big enough to see)

Not big enough? Well, this is the image that drew the "fat guy on vacation" directions from The Gooble. It is in fact, the photo of a fat guy with an eternal big zit during all four years of high school.

Jeepers, that dude is ugly! Sigh.

Yes, my friends, that sho' 'nuf is your gracious host here at Andy's Place. This was a photo taken by Dadman (our good buddy) in February of 1977, on a Delta flight from Shreveport to Washington, DC of a "fat guy"...

The Gooble is WRONG! AGAIN!

I was not "on vacation."

Me, and a couple of dozen of my classmates were en route to DC to save our beloved United States. Y'all just don't know how miserable your circumstances would have been here in the US had we not sacrificed to go straighten out all that junk up in DC back in '77.

Don't bother to thank us...

In conclusion: The Gooble is WRONG!

AGAIN!

And, if they don't quit picking on this fat guy, it ain't gonna be pretty for 'em.


Just sayin'...

Class Reunion...

Class reunions are great! Some of the best fun I've had has been at my class reunions. If you don't go to yours, you are missing a real treat.

Some of the visitors to Andy's Place are my old classmates from high school (Bossier High School 1977). And, I have also discovered recently that there are some of y'all that share Fair Park High School 1961 (Shreveport, LA) as your class.

Well, this video was sent to me by one of your fellow grads, my brother-in-law, Jimmy. It's one of the two cutest videos I've seen in the last 72 hours.

Y'all watch this...if you've ever been to a class reunion (especially a 30th or so), you'll enjoy it.

I'll betcha' even the blind Dufus, Chris Matthews, can remember that these old boys ain't black...

Ya' know...our local The Weather Channel guy always jokes about his boss having a cooler "pocket protector" than his. But now I'm not so sure that Dave is joking...

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Looking ahead, and considering options...

Hi y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Looking ahead: I wanted to give y'all the heads-up on a couple of things. First off, I am planning my big Blogsperiment for next week. You know, the experiment to see just how much traffic can be driven to one particular web-page by a cooperative blog-link effort...yeah, that one. It's gonna be way cool! Heck, we might get a couple of hundred hits on it if we try REEEEEEL hard. So, I'll be asking y'all for your help next week.

Also, I've got another monster post coming up about just how "wrong" The Gooble search is. Just as a teaser, it seems that Andy's Place is #1 on The Gooble Search for one of the most commonly used expressions of laughter in the entire worldwide computer. I. AIN'T. KIDDIN'. And, you are going to be just as astounded as I was (trust me). At the same time, The Gooble seems to be face-slapping ME personally, and I will certainly share how they're taking revenge on me for being The Wrongness of The Gooble Czar.

I think I'll put that all up on the computer tomorrow...so stay tuned.

But now, to "considering options."

Considering options: Our good buddy, and regular contributor, Paul the Fireguy sends this little gem along. It truly illustrates how we all should weigh our options, consider all variables, and maybe sometimes even get some input from others before we make a decision. Perhaps even more so when we make a major purchase.

Hi Andy!

When you purchase a bike, make sure the color of the bike seat is taken into consideration.

Allright y'all! Have a good evening. It's cold here...lots of rain, but it stayed above 32, so our roads are clear...pray for them folks up in Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Tennessee, and all. They're getting smacked pretty bad with it. See ya' tomorrow...with that BIG Gooble wrongness news.

Boo Hoo Hoo!

An image too good not to steal. Stolen from Theo Spark.

So, if by some remote possibility anyone that visits Andy's Place gives a rat's rear end about Conan O'Leno...

A video from 2004...

Jeepers, I'm not really sure WHY I am even posting this. Maybe just to illustrate that folks can have second thoughts and junk...and that what they believed to be the right, and true thing to do at the time can become...well, maybe not so much later on.

Oh man...I'm laughing...

Pea Green sends this one along...

I'm sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctor's offices on everything from tissues to note pads.

This one wins the prize....

I emailed it to my Chinese doctor friend. He emailed back: "If the light stays on for more than 4 hours, call your erectrician."

Thursday morning junk...The Morning After...

Hey, they have a pill for that, don't they?

It looks like Janet coulda used some No-Doz. Classicalliberal had this photo on his site. I thought, "Yep, that's the gal I want in charge of Homeland Security!" Vigilance is definitely her watchword.


We all know that "one" cabinet member is always held out of the House Chamber for the State of the Union Show. Janet was "there,"...she was just "absent."

I did not watch the address last night. I try not to do anything late at night that might induce vomiting, or put me in a foul mood before the sandman visits. OBozO's little speech will be dissected, and trisected (is that a word?) by thousands today...and they will ALL do a much better job than can I.

Hillary was not there, as you've probably read by now. Heh! Hillary finally caught a break! I'm sure that a year and a half ago, she assumed that she would be giving the address. So, it was probably very fortunate that she had all that important junk to do in London. And truthfully, you know that the camera would have hit her often...and if she'd had to pick her nose or something, it would be all over the worldwide computer this morning.

Anyway, I did not watch the President.

Speaking of people with a very high opinion of themselves. Can you believe this?

See more funny videos and TBT Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Well, that's all I got this morning, y'all! Y'all have a great day. It's gonna be a busy one around Andy's Place, so I'd better crank the sucker up. I love y'all!

Since there is nothing of importance happening tonight...

...I figured I'd just ask y'all to pray with me for the children of Haiti Oklahoma.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that The BozObama Show is coming on tonight. Sheesh! I was torn between cleaning out my toe jam really good, working on my belly-button-lint figurines, or playing BozO-Bingo. Our good buddy, Paul the Fireguy sent me a diversion, called OBozO Bingo...just to have something to occupy my time with during the boring speech deal.




But, I am a true LOSER when it comes to games of chance...man, the stories I could tell. (sigh)

So, I figured that instead, I would spend the evening concentrating on more important things than what Dufus spews before those that are interested in a spewing dufus.

I have followed (along with you all) the tragedy of the Haitian earthquake. I have many thoughts about it that I have not shared. I likely will in a few days.

But, I came across a photo on the worldwide computer that reminded me that even here in the US we have children in dire straits.

It would do us well to note that here (YES, EVEN HERE) in the US, there are children that by virtue of their birth are forced to live in horrendous conditions. You will find no better example of this than the children of Oklahoma.

Pam's Momma grew up in the dusty, wind-blown thing that we know as Oklahoma. And man...they were POOR! The stories she tells of those days in the 30's & 40's in Wetumka just truly make you grateful to God that you live somewheres elst!

Still, it pains me when I realize that the rough times continue for Okies.

As I said, I ran across a picture on the worldwide computer that really tugged at my heart. I am gonna ask you all for your help with this. I am going to try to locate the poor Oklahoma child in this photo that I saw.

If you have any idea who this little girl is, please let me know. Pam and I would certainly like to extend a hand of kindness to this poor family.

Especially to the little girl highlighted...

In fact, if you can provide info as to who this little girl is, I'll be willing to offer a reward. It won't be much. Maybe one of my "belly button lint" figurines...they're a lot more decorative than they sound like they'd be. Trust me.

My hope for the State of the Union Speech is that...

...Joe Wilson gives the Republican response.

Wednesday Morning Chuckle...

Heh! I've got more than one T-shirt on this one!

From Walt...

A rancher in South Texas was having some trouble with the State. The Texas Work Force Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help,and sent an agent out to interview him.

"I need a list of your employees, and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.

"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my farm hand, who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week, plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week, plus free room and board.

Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to... to the half-wit," said the agent.

The rancher replied, "That would be me."

Gimme a stinkin' break!

An internet security firm has published the list of the top 10 most common worldwide computer "passwords."

They are:

1. 123456
2. 12345
3. 123456789
4. Password
5. iloveyou
6. princess
7. rockyou *
8. 1234567
9. 12345678
10. abc123

* Note: this list was sourced from the RockYou website.

What? No "rosebud," or "obama?"

Jeepers, can you really believe that in this day and age, people use "1234567" as a password?

Mine is "RosebudObama." But don't tell anybody, okay?

Who Dat?...and "True Dat!"

As y'all that have visited Andy's Place very long know, I am not a real fan of pro football. College is a whole 'nother thing, though. But, when I do get interested in pro football, it's because my 'Boys are having a good season.

In many ways, Northwest Louisiana is much more like East Texas than LA. So, growing up here, EVERYBODY was a Dallas Cowboy fan. I cut my teeth on Dandy Don, Walt Garrison, Lee Roy Jordan, and then on along through the Staubach, Danny White years, then through the glory with Troy & EmiSmiff!

And, I have watched those poor Saints fans suffer for my entire life. I mean, there have been years that the Saints were so bad that they couldn't win the black and gold game. Even though I've never been a Saints fan, ya' gotta feel good for 'em. And, I do.

On our statewide talk radio program, The Moon Griffon Show yesterday, grown men called in confessing tears of joy when it sunk in that Da Saints Is Goin' To The Super Bowl!

A fellow Louisianan, Moogie P posted a Times-Picayune video. If you watched the game, you saw the shots of Bourbon Street while the game was going on. The Mrs. said, "Wow. You don't see it that empty very often." I told her that everybody was in the bars, or in the Dome.

Well, it didn't stay that way. The video has a lot of drunk people in it, but it's still pretty good. Ya' gotta love the brass band. Watch it if you want to...it was a little jerky for me loading this morning. (It's down at the bottom of this post)

Also, my buddy, CosmicConservative (a former Louisianian) sent me a computer letter titled "You Know You're From Louisiana When..." It's pretty cute. And, "True Dat!"

You know you're from Louisiana when...

-Your sunglasses fog up when you step outside, even in December.
-You reinforce your attic to store Mardi Gras beads
-You don't look twice when you see pink flamingos in yards of nice subdivisions during Mardi Gras.
-You save newspapers, not for recycling but for tablecloths at crawfish boils.
-Your ancestors are buried above the ground .
-You drink Community Coffee, have tried Starbucks, but don't see what all the fuss is about. (YEAH!!!)
-You take a bite of five-alarm chili and reach for the Tabasco.
-Every once in a while, you have waterfront property .
-You sit down to eat boiled crawfish and your host says, 'Don't eat the dead ones,' and you know what he means.
-You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras is not a national holiday.
-You push little old ladies out of the way to catch Mardi Gras beads.
-Little old ladies push YOU out of the way to catch Mardi Gras beads .
-You believe that purple, green , and gold look good together.
-Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's spelled.
-You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to represent your baseball team.
-Your town is low on the education chart, high on the obesity chart and you don't care because you're No. 1 on the party chart.
-Your house payment is less than your utility bill.
-You know that Tchoupitoulas is a street and not a disease.
-Your grandparents are called 'Mam-Maw' and 'Paw-Paw.'
-Your Santa Claus rides an alligator and your favorite Saint is a football player.
-You cringe every time you hear an actor with a Southern or Cajun accent in a 'New Orleans-based' movie or TV show.
-You have to reset your clocks after every thunderstorm.
-You're walking in the French Quarter with a plastic cup of beer.
-When it starts to rain, you cover your beer instead of your head.
-You've eaten at one or more of these restaurants, AND know how to pronounce them: Prejeans, Tu Jac's, Gallatoire's, Ralph & Kacoo's, Brunet's, or Mulatte's.
-You eat dinner out and spend the entire meal talking about all the other good places you've eaten.
-You call home just to find out what your momma'nem are having for supper tonight.
-You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Louisiana

Saints Video: Bourbon Street

It's that time again! As a public service to computer users everywhere, we remind you once a year...

MOUSE CALIBRATION FOR JANUARY, 2010

You should actually do this every six months. Even more often if you spend a lot of time on the computer. This is recommended by Kim Komando (the computer guru) in one of her recent emails.


I was shocked to see how well this works, and how far off mine was!


To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the capital G below, then drag it toward the small g.

If it doesn't work immediately, you might want to clean your mouse, as the calibration is off.



Good lord!! You'll believe anything


I'M SURE YOU WILL ALSO RECOMMEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS ONCE YOU SEE HOW MUCH SMOOTHER AND BETTER THE MOUSE WORKS AFTER BEING CALIBRATED! AMAZING!

The Gooble is WRONG! #42

Okay, so I have taken it on as a solemn responsibility as a faithful user of the worldwide computer to chronicle just how WRONG the Gooble Search can be.

I'm quite sure this will become a regular feature at Andy's Place...as though it hasn't already.

Suppose you were a father, and you had a child with a problem that you truly...deeply...honestly wanted to help him with. Trust me, I know ALL ABOUT SUCH THINGS!

So, where do you go for help?

Well, The Gooble, of course!

And, where do they send you for help as the #1 search result?

Why, Andy's Place, of course!

(click on it and behold the wrongness of The Gooble!)

Ya' know...I'm thinking that before I finally shut this foolish blog down, I'm gonna be #1 on everything...from "midget wrestling" to"prostitutes in Monroe, LA," to "is Eli Mannning a Christian," to "don't trust China,"...and now this..."my son is a fat slob."

I'm gonna have all the bases covered pretty soon. Thank all y'all for your support!

My life in images...on a challenge from Buck.

Okay, so Buck tagged everybody that visits his place with this one. You're not supposed to use any words (even though I did use some, because y'all know me, and I just can't shut up), just images to answer the questions.



1) What is your current relationship status?




2) What is your current mood?




3) What is your favorite band/singer?




4) What is your favorite movie?




Or...




5) What kind of pets do you have?




6) Where do you live?







7) Where do you work?




8) Who do you look like?



(Seriously, people have stopped me on the street often, thinking I was Jimmy Connors! All the way back to the late 70's. Dunno...)


9) What do you drive?

Besides my wife "crazy,"...




Just kiddin'...




10) What did you do on Saturday?




11) What did you do on Sunday?




12) What is your favorite network TV show?




13) Describe yourself.




14) What is your favorite candy?



DONE! I hope you're happy, Buck! Nyuk...

I know who knows!

I have been reading all over the righty blogs this fascination with Ellie Light. If you've missed it, everybody is trying to figure out who Ellie Light is.

Well, I don't really care myself, but I thought I'd give y'all the heads up. Trenton Powers knows. He has taken Ellie on as a regular contributor to his "Main Blog." This is his introductory post.

This was Ellie's first post as a contributor.

And, it seems that Ellie has answered some of the questions surrounding the suspicions in a post on Trenton Powers Main Blog.

So, if you want to know who Ellie Light is, and where he/she lives, just ask Trenton. He'll tell ya'.

Wrapping up the weekend...kicking off the week...

Hi y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Well, it was a weekend without water for a good bit of the time at Andy's Place. I already told y'all how sore I was on Sunday, but I decided that I'd better at least try to get up under the house and find the source of all that pain.

By yesterday afternoon, the water had absorbed, and it wasn't impossible to navigate into where I suspected the leak was. Sure enough, I saw something that looked like a sink-hole. Being the genius I am, I thought, "Hey, maybe I'll start digging right there. So I did.

Then I hollered at The Mrs. to go turn the water on...and here it came. By the time she got back where she could here me screaming to turn it off, the hole had filled up. So, I crawled back out for some fresh air.

See, there's the scene of the crime right there...


And, there's your culprit...



Yep, a tiny little hole in that copper pipe was the source of all my pain and aggravation...and no telling what kinda water bill (but I'll talk 'em down...maybe). So, it was getting dark, and I just ran down to the auto parts store and got a piece of hose, clamped it in as a patch, and will let it all dry out completely for a couple of days before I head back under there to fix it right.

I was glad to find the trouble, but as you can see from the above photo, there is "more bad news." That 6 inch piece of copper I pulled out of there not only has a hole in it, there are also pits in several places. They would have soon become spewers of their own. So, I know what that means. I'm probably gonna eventually have to go under there and replace all of the supply lines that are beneath ground. But hey, it's an old house. Sigh.

I don't know what it is about ME, and the Chinese! Ever since I got to be the #1 blog on The Gooble search term, "don't trust China," it is a constant stream from those folks. Yesterday, somebody from over there came to visit Andy's Place. The search that brought them to Andy's Place is this one right here. But, it's a Yahoo search instead.

You'll note that the page they accessed is the one that has the long list of survival books that are available for download. I thought, "Hmmmm...don't chinks already know how to survive? Maybe not. Maybe they need to know more about gardening, and farming, and solar ovens, and making soap & junk."

So, I didn't think too much about it. But then I got to wondering what those chink words are that this fellow used to get to Andy's Place, and learn about surviving and all.

So, I translated them with The Gooble Translate...


I swear, they've just got something against me, and I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT!

Our buddy, and regular contributor, Paul the Fireguy sent along a picture of a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader.



I reckon that in the off-season, they kinda let themselves go a bit. But, I'm sure she'll be back in hotness form by the pre-season.

Finally, my friend/cousin and regular contributor, Walt, sent me a link to a video of Joe Biden monkeying around. I think it's him. It could be Harry Reid, or Barney Frank, or youfillintheblank. I started to post it, but I get tired of looking at their ugly mugs all over the computer. It's only 30 seconds long. Go look at it.

Well, that's about all I've got this Monday morning. Gotta get to work, make some green rectangles, and put a new pump on the washer.

Y'all have a glorious day, would ya'? Yeah, you will...sure you will! Do it for me...

Heh! Gooble Alert! Gooble Alert!

I have recently discovered uses for Gooble Alerts. So, I set one up with my "name," and the name of this blog, "Andy's Place."

Well, my daily Google Alerts came in a few minutes ago. And there is this little gem.

(I hope Sadie don't find out about this.) Please don't hit the link. Please!

Andy's place dog sex Andy's place dog sex. ... Andy's place dog sex · You need new Flash Player 11 andy's place dog sex dogs f****ng porn stars a furry tail doggie day care ...

Now, don't try to tell me that Gooble Alerts are not valuable...

Sunday Morning Junk...(#whatever)

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

Well, there's good news, and there's bad news around Andy's Place.

According to a very interesting article on the worldwide computer, "The number of muscles in the human body varies from about 656 to 850, depending on which expert you consult..."

The good news is that at maximum, only 850 muscles in my body are screaming, "Andy, you retarded imbecile! Why did you do this to us?" Actually, I think that 850 number might be a little low. Jeepers, my hair is sore. My nose hair is sore. I think that little hangy-down deal in my throat is sore. That's the bad news. But the good news is that I'm pretty sure I'm above average when it comes to muscular composition.

The water is cut off (if you didn't read the previous post you won't know why), and I'm waiting for everybody to dump their load before I turn it back on to flush, and fill up a few more pitchers and all.

I swear, I do NOT want to crawl back under there today...I'm not even sure I can. It's like I think I need to tie a rope around my leg so that they can pull me out when the muscles say, "the heck with all this! I'm stopping! Now!"

Lowe's and Home Depot are open on Sunday to get plumbing supplies. That's the bad news. But, the good news is that my local True Value guy about 3 minutes away is closed. I really like to patronize the "little guy," so I'll wait on him to open next week. Or maybe around Valentine's Day when I've recovered enough to crawl back under there. We'll see.

There is a story that's been making the rounds for a couple of days, and you've probably already seen it. It seems that some joker is putting together a professional basketball league with no negroes allowed. And, as far as I can tell, no chinks can play either. Just Whitey. I guess it'll be like basketball for hockey players or something.

I hate to tell the fellow, but I don't think it's gonna go over so well. The crowd that WOULD patronize a league like that pretty well runs out of money by Saturday after Friday payday. And, for that crowd, almost all of 'em have been raised with no interest in roundball anyway. And y'all all know what I'm talkin' about. If you don't, I ain't gonna take the time to explain it.

Heck, they've already got something like that. I mean, it's not professional, but have you ever been to a Southern Baptist Men's League tournament? Shoot, I used to play on a men's league team way back when I was a Southern Baptist. Lily.White.

I remember one tournament where some church over in Shreveport that we were supposed to play first showed up with about 3 black guys on their team. I knew it was over when I saw 'em come through the door.

I told my brother-in-law at the time, "we're screwed, man." He said, "Hey, 7 of us showed up tonight. You wanna go bowling?" As I remember, I rolled a 185 that night.

Well, that's about all I've got. Not really. Seeing as it's Sunday and all, let's do something cultural, and artistic, whatayasay?

I am going to repost a video from July of last year. Since we have a multitude of new reader at Andy's Place, you may not have seen it. It is a long video at 8 1/2 minutes. When I came across this video I thought, "8 1/2 minutes...dang, I don't have 8 1/2 minutes to watch a video." But, the source intrigued me. It comes from the TV show, "Ukraine's Got Talent," and the woman is a sand animation artist. Here is what I wrote back in July:

This is something you just have to see to understand. We all know about the television shows "America's Got Talent," and "Britain's Got Talent."

Well one Kseniya Seminova was the winner of this year's "Ukraine's Got Talent." "Ukraine's Got Talent?" Who knew? Not that the Ukraine doesn't have talent, of course...I mean that they had their own talented folks TV show.

About 45 seconds into the video, I was hooked! I did a little research on the worldwide computer, and found that she won a first prize of roughly $125,000. I'd say WORTH EVERY PENNY!

I do not understand the words, of course, but evidently she is telling the story of the beginning of World War II, and life in The Ukraine during the war. In fact, here is a link to a blog post that has a few more details.

Trust me. Take 8 or 9 minutes to watch this. You. Will. Not. Be. Sorry!

Evidently, those that viewed the video agreed.

A comment from Walt:

One of the most impressive acts of artistic creation I've ever seen!

From Paul Mitchell:

And ending the performance with "Nothing Else Matters" from Metallica was extra special. Good job, chica!

From Anonymous:

When you sort Viagra or some other meds in our betray you may be reliable Cheap Discount Cialis Pharmacy On-line that this product just of pre-eminent grade will be delivered to you certainly in time.

Heh! I think the chink REALLY liked it...

So, invest almost 9 minutes of your Sunday, and behold something really impressive.

Well, that's all! Y'all have a good Sunday. I love y'all! I mean it...

CRUD!

I'm not quite sure which # "CRUD" post this is. The Blogger has stopped keeping count of them due to overuse. So, I'll guess that it's about #thirty trillion.

About 2 weeks ago, I began to hear the sound of water running in the hallway bathroom at Andy's Place. I didn't think too much about it, and figured that it was just time to change out the flapper in the commode again. I do that about every other year.

But, I got busy with more important stuff, and kinda shoved it back to #72 on The Top 10 Things To Do At Andy's Place list.

Well, over the last couple of weeks the sound of running water has gotten louder, and louder. It had spread finally back to the room where we had a plumber install connections for a Washing Machine. But, I didn't think too much of it. I just figured that vibrations throughout the plumbing in the house were reverberating, and sharing the love.

Well, a few days ago, we began to hear the sound of running water underneath the kitchen sink cabinet. I thought...oh well...that's just more "baby love" from the flapper in the hall bathroom toilet.

Truth is...I KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG. BAD WRONG!!! But, I also knew what had to be done to find out just what, and I did not want to do it. Actually, I was HOPING for a CHANGE! I was HOPING that the plumbing would CHANGE itself all up, FIX ITSELF, and I would not have to do what I truly did not want to do.

Then along comes The Mrs. today... "Andy, you know that there is something very wrong with this." And, she was right. I knew it all along.

Just as background info, Andy's Place does not seem to be all that large. From the outside, you would think that it is a house that is about 60 feet deep, and 35 feet wide. But you would be wrong. Beneath the house, it is approximately 60 feet deep, and five million feet wide...with about 6 inches of clearance.

Andy's Place was built in 1948. Back in those days the builders put the access to underneath the house approximately four million feet away from the plumbing (roughly). Sure, just looking at it from the outside, it's not such a big deal. But, when your wife FINALLY decides it's time for you to DO SOMETHING, it gets a lot wider.

So, "in I go," flashlight in hand. Did I mention that there is only 6" of clearance? Thank God I'm not very large, nor claustrophobic.

So, after about three days of crawling through God knows what, creeping over Romex, thermostat control wires, rat skeletons, busting through spider webs, and skinnying under support beams, I finally reach my destination.

Yep! There is water pouring through the floor where the washing machine is. SUCCESS! Eureka, and all that! I have found the trouble! So, three days later, I crawl back out from under the house...still alive...kinda...




Sure enough, I hinge the washing machine up while it's running, and there is a hole in the pump! HA! Now I know the problem. So, I disconnect the washing machine, haul it outside, and will wait for Monday to get the part I need to fix it. Problem solved!

Nope!

Even with the washing machine disconnected...water shut off to the connections...the sound of running water persists. This is fabulous news! Not only does my washing machine have a leaking pump...there is still a leak under Andy's Place somewhere! Crud! DOUBLE CRUD!

So, I know what must be done...

Back into the abyss...

The second journey into homeowner hell will give me more info. So, I bellycrawl the four million feet back across the underside of Andy's Place. While I'm under there I figure that I should crawl the two football fields further west to the bathroom plumbing...

About 45 minutes later, I arrive. With trusty flashlight in hand, I see no problems...none of the exposed pipes are leaking, and there is not one hint of water coming from the floor (it's above me, but it's still the floor...ya' gotta understand...by this point my whole world is upside down).

But I can hear that sound...water is running. It's getting louder and louder the further I venture in to hell. So, there is only one more place to go. The plumbing that feeds the kitchen is about three miles to the west. I figure, "what the hell...I'm already this close." So, after digging out some river sand in order to shinny my way under a beam I finally learn the true definition of "quagmire."

Beneath the kitchen at Andy's Place is something akin to an Olympic Swimming Pool. The only difference is that it is full of mud, it stinks like an 11-year-old's armpits, and nobody could swim in it because it's 6" from the ground to the stinkin' subfloor!

I've got my trusty flashlight (the batteries are getting weary now), and I inspect the subfloor. Not a sign of water coming from above! I inspect all of the exposed pipes between the ground and the floor. Not a sign of a leak!

That's good news, right? Right?

Man, I'm screwed! And Big! There must be a pipe burst underneath the ground between the kitchen and the hallway bathroom. That's all I can figure. I mean, there is an artesian well springing underneath Andy's Place.

Some of the foundation footings are completely submerged in agua. I'm just praying that the dude that built this place set the footings deep, and that the middle of my house won't sustain any permanent damage. But it's gonna take some really skinny dudes with really high priced shovels to scoop through the quagmire, and find the leak.

But, I'll be fine. I had a nice work-out under Andy's Place this afternoon. I'm sure that tomorrow morning my shoulders, back, legs, and neck will be as good as new.

Heh! When I discovered that Pam was taking pictures of this whole fiasco I got a little ticked at her. I said, "Baby, let me at least get my hair combed before you go to taking pictures!"



Well, the water is cut off at the street now. By tomorrow morning it should be drying up underneath the house, and much easier to find exactly where that leak is.

But there is even MORE good news! It's raining like the second coming of Noah's deluge right now! It's gonna be a "golden day" tomorrow. I can just feel it...