Hey y'all! Look at what Dr. Jill dun sont me!!!

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Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...


A couple of days ago (another) package landed at Andy's Place (via US Postal Service) from our good friend, and regular contributor, Dr. Jill.


Now, if you've been hanging out around here for long, you understand that a package from Dr. Jill is always an adventure.  Always.


Well, enclosed was a very nice card.  It said,

Hi Pam & Andy!

Hope all is well.  Here is just a little sumthin' to get you ready for football season."

Then, on the opposite fold of the card was written,

GO VOLS!

And then way, way down in little teeny tiny writing was this:

Go Tigers!
hee hee

So, what was in the package?  Well, I'm glad y'all asked.


This here is the first thing I pulled out.

 

Ain't that something?!?!?! 

I mean, it's a Vol Crimmus Tree Ornament!


Wow!  I'mma put that on the next tree I haul into the house!  Of course, we haven't dragged a scotch pine, or erected a metal one up in the house in about 20 years.  But...the NEXT TIME I put a tree up in the house, that baby is ON IT!  I reckon I'll have to come up with another use for it.


I'm studying on that right now.


But then, the goody got gooder.  Lookit!

This here is a writing pen that is made like an LSU Tiger Cheerleader! Oh man...this is just so way past good that I'm almost typeless.  You may notice that there are a couple of little thumb-switches on the back.  Those are WAY cool!  They actually bring the pen to life.  I mean, my own personal LSU Cheerleader pen starts actually leading cheers!  Really.


I've been following along with her for several hours now, and I'll swear, I'm iz revved up!


Listen!

Go to hell 'Bama...

GO TO HELL!!!!

Go to hell Ole Miss...

GO TO HELL!!!!

Go to hell Tennessee Flarda...

GO TO HELL!!!!

I swear...this is the bestest gift I've gotten since Roses sent me my LSU Purple & Gold Chicken Hat! (BTW...I've got BIG plans for that chicken hat come September...trust me. I mean...TRUST ME)!

Anyway, I've been cheering along for several hours now, and it's just so dang fun that I kinda' lost track of time, and The Mrs. kinda got a little concerned about all the racket.  So, I had to lay her down for a while. 

I love her.
 
Thanks, Dr. Jill!

I think I'm gonna name her Moogie.


With most all of y'all suffering through Underarm-ageddon, I hope that we all can agree that September needs to get her more quicker than usual.


But, I looked at the calendar a little while ago, and friggin' August still stands in the way.


Crud.

Nyuk! I've had a blast with this at the hospital...

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Hey y'all.  Nyuk...


As most of y'all know, last Fall I took a job working in Security at a local hospital.  And, if you've been visiting for long, you know that I LOVE MY JOB!  Seriously, I look forward to going to work, and often wish I had known about this kind of work ages ago.  Anyway...


A couple of weeks ago, our good friend, and regular contributor Dr. Jill, and her husband were visiting from Tennessee to see their daughter graduate from LSU-S.  Since they were in town, we all decided to get together and eat dinner.  We went to a great Cajun restaurant, Ralph & Kacoo's.


They had swung by the house and picked us up in their car, and we had a great visit.  They're great folks.


Well, a couple of days ago I got a very nice note in the mail (snail mail), saying what a good time they'd had, yada yada yada.  And, Dr. Jill said, "but Andy, you left your drivers license in the back seat of our car."

"Slip & Fall" in Augusta, GA

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I don't know the date on this news article that our beloved friend and regular contributor, Dr. Jill sent our way.  But, in this litigious society in which we live, your average consumer would be considering a lawsuit...

I don't know if it's the real deal, or a faked up story.  But, it's funny.

Why NFL Quarterbacks need short names...

From Dr. Jill...

Why NFL Quarterbacks need short names.

 

The Three Little Pigs.

From Dr. Jill...

Three Pigs
 
  This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.
 
 A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building materials for his home. She read, “…and so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'”
 
 The teacher paused then asked the class, “And what do you think the man said?”
  
One  little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly, “I think the man would have said, 'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!'”
 
 The teacher had to leave the room. 

For you beer drinkers...

From Dr. Jill...

After the first day of a world brewing convention  in the states, the CEO's of various brewing organizations retire to the bar.  

Bruce, the CEO of Fosters, shouts to the barman: "In 'Strailya, we make the  best beer in
the world, so pour me a Fosters mate."

Bob, CEO of Budweiser calls out next: "In the  States we brew the finest beer known to mankind and I make the king of them  all. Gimme a Bud".

Hans steps up next: "In Germany we invented das  beer. Give me ein Becks, der real King of beers."

Paddy, CEO of Guinness steps forward: "Barman give  me a diet coke with ice and lemon please." The others stare at him in stunned  silence, amazement written over their faces. 

Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you  not going to have a Guinness Pat?" 

To which Paddy replies "Well, if you girls aren't drinking, then neither am I".

The trouble with doctors...

From infrequent contributor,  Dr. Jill...

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse started with certain basics.

"How much do you weigh?" she asked.
 
"135," I said.
 
The nurse put me on the scale.

It turns out my weight is 180..

The nurse asked, "Your height?"
 
"5 foot 4," I said.
 
The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5' 2."

She then took my blood pressure and told me that it was very high.

"Of course it's high!" I screamed, 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!"

She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch.