So, at what point today will Les Miles commence with the kneel downs?

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I shall be wearing my "The Hawgz Suck!" chicken hat today.  My 'Bama Sucks! chicken hat seemed to have brought us luck, so I'm not messing with fate. 

I'm figuring that with roughly 6:12 left in the 4th quarter, Corch Miles will start the kneel downs, so as not to totally humiliate the stinkin' Hawgz, and completely knock them out of going to a decent (though insignificant) bowl game.

Naw seriously, it's gonna be a good one.  We will win convincingly, of course, which is why I say it is going to be a good one!  Y'all enjoy!!!

 (Editorial note:  I had to use a photo from the archives.  You can tell, because this one features my old little bitty remote control that Tucker hid half of somewhere, which still hasn't been found...and not my nifty new jumboass remote.  I started to take a new picture, but I am feeling poorly, and look like crap...as opposed to how debonaire and suave I was looking when this one was struck.   And, being ill, I am pretty sure I should not lift heavy objects.).
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Hey y'all...

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BOO!!!

The idea came from Buck, but I couldn't figure out how to use that dealie so I went with Microsoft Paint as usual.


I suck.


Happy Halloweems, y'all.  Hope y'all get enough candy to completely rot your teeth out!!!

"Everybody Draw Señor Calderón" Day...

After reading that El Presidentufus Calderón was made to look foolish by one of the biggest dufuses in American media, I decided that our "neighbors" to the south have maybe elected a more retarded President than we have.

I just got a real "warm feeling" in my soul over that.

I mean, if The Wolfman can set you on your heels, and make you look retarded...well...the verdict is in!

Dr. Jill...

Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

One of our beloved "regular contributors," Dr. Jill, has decided to come "out of the closet."  Being that she is a high-placed human being, and needs to protect her anonymousness, she has always axed me to hold her identity close to my vestibules.  

But, today I got this heart-felt computer letter from Dr. Jill (and I'm just paraphrasing here) saying that she was just WAY tired of hiding her real self.  She was WAY tired of trying to maintain her professional outward self, while REALLY being the mischievous, fun-loving, devil-may-care gal she is deep down inside.

I was gut-punched by the whole deal.  Truly, I was.

So, since I love Dr. Jill as much as I do, I'm gonna post this picture of her and two of her friends, in order to help her in the difficult days of transitioning from anonymouseness to the bright light of virtual sunshine. 

I still can't quite bring myself to give away her actual identity, so I did me some fancy eye-blocking stuff on this shot.  But, you'll be able to tell pretty quick which one Dr. Jill is.

Trust me, you will!

And, Dr. Jill also noted in her computer letter that she's thinking of making these up for Christmas gifts for all the females in her family.  I half-way propositioned her about how we might be able to sell these things on The Gooble, along with my The Gooble Is Wrong T-shirt when I finally get it all printed up and everything.

She didn't say "NO," so I'll take that as a "YES!"

Hey look!!!  If you are looking for the perfect gift for "the gal that has EVERYTHING...or maybe for the gal that's got NOTHING," this might just be the ticket. 

I'll put you in touch with her if you're interested.  Just send me a computer letter at AndyIsAStupidRetardAndJustWastedFiveMinutesOfMyDay@andyisastupidretard.edu. 

But, ya' gotta admit it's funny.  And, ya' gotta admit YOU WANT ONE!  We'll be selling 'em cheap...and pretty soon, too!  We're thinking we might customize tattoos above the left nip...for a nominal charge, of course...

Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) is quite the gentleman! He is also an ethical "role model" for young people. And, "obviously," the most astute Senate Majority Leader in US History!

I have been reading many blogs over the last few days that are decrying all of the personal attacks (from both the left and right) during this highly charged time in our nation's history.  I must say that I do feel quite a bit of shame upon myself!  I have recently  fallen into the un-Christian trap of being WAY TOO uncivil, and all.  Crud...

So, I decided that I'd just look for all of the good qualities in folks that I disagree with politically.  And, I'll tell ya'...they've got some REALLY GOOD PERSONAL upsides.  Heck, even the Okie Senator, Tom Coburn has called for a return to niceness.  And, he's an Okie...

President Obama (D-Kenya) has got one bitchin' fastball!  Heck, I think he might one day replace Carlton in baseball lore...I mean, there's only THE ONE "Lefty."

Speaker of The House of Representatives, Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) obviously does not have a weight problem.  Good on her for being all self-controlled, and all!

But, I'll have to admit that Senator Harry Reid (D-NV) has been the toughest challenge within my spirit to love.  Seriously!  I mean, I know that Jesus died for him just like He did for me and all.  But, when I read this article about how he had made fun of Sarah Palin, it really did kinda fry my backside.

Now, y'all long-time visitors to Andy's Place know that I am not the biggest Sarah Palin fan in these Nyunited States.  I mean, I don't dislike her...but I'm not a true fan like many others on the right are.  And, honestly I know that she has set herself out there as a spokesperson for right-wing ideals and junk...so, she's fair game.

But, she is not an elected official (she was, until she quit), and she does not have a vote in the US Senate, nor is she running against Harry in his miserable little reelection bid.  So, it really did kinda give me a case of the reds to hear that Harry (the genius) picked on the gal.  With all of the Christianity I could muster, I decided that I was gonna find something nice to say about Reid.

He is a financial genius!  Why, he's been able to make a stinkin' fortune through real estate deals in, and around, Lost Wages, Nevada!  I mean, he and his family have (without ANY POLITICAL INFLUENCE at all) been able to live the American Dream of getting filthy rich by hard work.  Every young person in this nation could learn a thing or two from Harry's hard work, and extremely high moral code!

But, I'll confess that it still did REALLY bug me when he said (speaking of the enormous Tea Party held in his backwater, useless hometown of Searchlight, stinkin' Nevada)  "I was going to give a few remarks on the people who were over here a week ago Saturday," Reid said in a video posted by Fox News anchor Greta Van Susteren, "but I couldn't find it written all over my hands. "You betcha..." 

After all, this is the guy that voted "NO!" on his own Health Care Deform legislation, due to the fact that he is certainly mentally retarded, and can't remember what to write on his own hand.  And, it really ticked me off that he'd pick on somebody just because they scribbled notes in the palm of their hand. 

Ya' know, it's really nothing "new" for Harry to go after private citizens.  I mean, this is the guy that for the first time in the history of the US Senate sought to encourage other Senators to sign an open letter of protest against a private US citizen in hopes for said citizen to lose the support of his employer (The Rush Limbaugh letter dealie).  So, it doesn't surprise me at all that he went after Sarah Palin in a moment of humor.  After all, he's a really funny, light-hearted, happy-go-lucky deep well of funniness, and good nature!

 See!  Just as fun as a barrel of monkeys, or somethin' !

 So, I'll go ahead on and say something nice about him (in the spirit of civility).  Harry, I truly appreciate the wise leadership, and love you've shown for our nation as leader of The US Senate.  I truly do.  So...

Back at ya' !

Saturday Afternoon Junk...

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

What a gloriously beautiful Spring day that God has blessed NW Louisiana with!  I mean, it's just like a little piece of Heaven around here.  Warm and sunny.  A light breeze blowing all the yellow junk around...who could ask for more?

I decided to go down to the "Quarter in the slot car wash" this morning because my black Mercury was green.  I got there this morning at 7:45 am, and had to wait for about 15 minutes in line.  But, I got ol' Blackie all cleaned up real nice.  The Mrs. was proud!

Speaking of The Mrs., our 31st anniversary is just a few days away.  I have already asked her what she wants for HER anniversary.  She's being coy, and not really giving me any good ideas.  As you long-time visitors to Andy's Place know, I usually give her new skillets on special occasions (and, I ain't kidding!  She's a fabulous chef, and loves new utensils).  But sometimes I surprise her with something else.

So, I got an idea!

My #3 son lives next door to us, and his plumbing got stopped up.  So, the wonderful fellow that rents the house to him came over to once again snake out the drains (he's got a good tool to do it with).  We do this about every 4 months.  Obviously there was a design flaw in the construction of the house, because from forever the drain lines must be snaked out three or four times a year.  Anyway...the owner's lovely wife left us, and went to Ellis Pottery to buy some trees while we were on the roof.

When she got back, she had the most beautiful Japanese Maple trees in the back of their vehicle.  I'll swear, they were fantabulous!  We had one of those about 25 years ago in the back yard of a house we owned.  My goodness, the things are glorious!  I'm thinking I'll go and buy one from Ellis Pottery for an anniversary gift.  The Mrs. loves plants, and trees and junk even more than skillets.  REALLY!  She does!  So, y'all don't tell her, okay?

(And they're only $10 at Ellis Pottery)

However, for some reason, The Mrs. hasn't asked ME what I want for MY anniversary.  If she happens to quiz any one of y'all on it,  I'll take one of these!  It's for the Blogger that has everything!

Okay, here is some other stuff...

First, it seems that a couple of fellows from Mississippi have filed the first "private" lawsuit against Obamacare.  My friend Paul Mitchell provided the link.  You really need to go over there and read the synopsis of their argument.  I could not agree more.  There are some very interesting points made about actual enforcement of the "mandate" that everyone purchase health insurance.  I kinda' find it interesting that we may not have to comply, even IF it's not struck down by courts, or repealed.  It is interesting reading, and just from my lesser than average IQ, it  looks like somebody might have shot theyselves in the foot!...  It's right here.

Next, I have been reading, and re-reading a translation of the Haitian Declaration of Independence from 1804 on Duke University's website for a couple of days.  As we all know, there is much debate about whether Haiti gave itself over to Satan, or not...yada yada yada...while cutting loose from the Frogs (you'll remember Pat Robertson's statement, and my post about it.  Maybe you won't, though...but I didn't know how to use The Globber labels at the time, and can't find it right now).

I have found it to be very interesting.  If you've got plenty of time on your hands, go on over there and read it.  I'm pretty sure that a bunch of junk got lost in the translation...but there seems to be an underlying tone.  So, I just link!  Y'all decide!

Thirdly, I wish to exhibit my complete idiocy at computer photo manipulation.  I saw a "Sarah Palin Teleprompter" post today, so I decided to try my hand at it. Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!  See what I just did?  ...aaaaah....I suck.

Sarah's got a message for the MSM...

And, Sarah's got a message for Hank Johnson...

So, since Andy is obviously the least creative human that owns a computer and has Cable Internet, I figured that I'd give y'all some blanks!  Come up with your own...post 'em on your blog, or send 'em to me via computer letter, and I'll post 'em.

Palin Teleprompter Blank #1 -

Palin Teleprompter Blank #2 -

Palin Teleprompter Blank #3 -  (I didn't use this one, because I ran out of brilliance.)

And, then there is this WAY COOL .gif file I stole off of Steamboat McGoo.

I hate to brag, or put way too much credence to myself and this Titanic of a blog...but I think I've started a .gif fad on the worldwide computer.

Probably.  Maybe.  Probably not...

And finally, just to illustrate how gorgeous a day it is...when I break out the computer camera, and Sadie doesn't go hide somewhere like she thinks she's gonna' get a shot, or something...you know that winter is behind us.

Don't she purty???

She just loves that brick half-wall on the side patio...it's nice and cool, and shaded until about June.  By the way...that bench you see below her is an actual piece of petrified wood that the builder of Andy's Place set in bricks in 1948 when he established my worldwide headquarters! 

It's even more petrified than it was back in '48.  Maybe...

Well, I'm gonna be pretty busy tomorrow, so I might not be around the computer...so don't y'all be worried about me if don't show y'all some stuff tomorrow.

We're gonna' pick up The Mrs.' Momma (The Mrs. In-Law) about Noon, and go up to Momma & Daddy's Place on Caddo Lake to celebrate Easter with the family.  It will be a lot of fun.  It always is.

I've got some other junk that I'm really ticked off about that I almost told y'all about.  But, I'm "shelving" that for this weekend.  Someone I truly love got done WRONG by a parent...and someone I truly love got done WRONG by a spouse...and someone I don't even know at all got done WRONG by a putrid POS.

But, I'm shelving all of that for now!

  I'm gonna' dwell on the magnificence of Jesus for tonight...and tomorrow.

I hope y'all all have a blessed Easter!  I love each and every one of you.

I mean it.

Love,  Andy