Report from the 3rd annual Nerd Convention in Boston...

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PAX East was held Easter Weekend in Boston.  This article tries to kinda explain it.


As y'all know, my #2 son is a HUGE video game buff.  And most especially the old stuff.


Two years ago, he traveled from Columbus stinkin' Ohio (where he was living at the time) to Boston for the first PAX East Nerd Convention.  In the competition, he got screwed from being the bestest, biggest Nerd by a power outage.  He was miles ahead in the final showdown when the power failed.


After power was restored, he and his partner had lost their mojo, and the other pair came back strong in the replay (it had to be replayed...there is no way to recreate the play of a video game...he was almost through Super Mario, and the other guys were still back on Frogger when the lights went out in Beantown).


Last year at the Nerd Convention, #2 son again lost in the finals.  No excuses...just came up against a bigger Nerd.


So...how did #2 son fare this Easter Weekend in Boston?


He lost in the second round!


Age is catching up with him.  


The young punks gots the dextrous skilz & stamina that those old guys nearing 30 are losing.


It wasn't too tough a pill to swallow for him, though.  He's working full-time, and trying to finish college after being out for several years.  So, he understands that the youngsters have a lot more time to sharpen & "train."

Name that famous relative!!! (Let's try this again)

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Editorial note:  I had downloaded this video, and had hit the "private" button, so if you tried to look at it, you could not.  Thanks StopSign, for giving me the heads up.  But, it pretty well sucks anyway, so you didn't miss anything.
Hey y'all!

I made y'all a V-Logg to see if y'all could guess something, and win some blog points (50 of 'em, too!  Those will come in handy sometime, some place, somewhere).

Trust me, they will... 

(A clarification.  This V-Logg might confuse y'all.  My "Papaw" did not die young-ish.  I was talking about my famous relative singer when I said, "He died young-ish."  Papaw was real old when he died.  He was a great friend, and an interesting character that I had with me, well in to my 30s. He was on up in his 80s, and I still miss him every day.  So, consider y'alls selves clarified on that deal).

11 questions answered in pictures/images/whatever...

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Hey y'all!  Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...


I'm working on a post with some personal junk about what's been going on around here with the clan, and some funny junk, too.  But, I came across this last night over at House of Zathras.  Now, I didn't really have time to burn, but Mrs. Who has a good time burner.  So, I decided to try it because I thought it might be interesting.   (I didn't get tagged, or nothing, I just thought it might be interesting.)


It works like this.  There are these eleven questions.  And, what you do is enter your answer in to The Gooble Image Search®. Then whatever number of the question it is, you use that picture/image/whatever.  In other words, for question #2, you use the second image, and for #4, you use the 4th one, and on and on.

See?

Okay...here are my eleven answers...
 
1.  What was your first job?

2.  What is your job now?

3.  What is your first born child's name?

4.   When you were a child, what was your favorite cartoon?

5.  What genre of music do you listen to most?

6.  Where were you born?

7.  Who is the first President you can actually remember being in office?

8.  Where would you most like to visit that you haven't been?

(Editorial note:  This one I could not answer.  I have already been everywhere I would like to go, and don't want to go anywhere that I have not been.  Except Heaven, of course, but I don't think The Gooble Image Search® has a picture that would do it justice. Just sayin'...) 


9.  Describe in one word your first girlfriend/boyfriend.

10.  What would you say to Barack Obama if you could only use five words or less?

11.  What is your current favorite word?

Who says The Gooble doesn't have a sense of humor?

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Well, I don't know if anybody ever said that or not, but just in case they did...


Go to www.maps.google.com, get directions from Japan to China.  Scroll down to #43.


Nyuk...

Andy, in alphabetical order...

Cullen did this over on the tumblweeder. I have seen things like this before, but since we have taken on hundreds of a new reader here at Andy's Place, I figured it'd be a good time to get mo' personal.  Feel free to copy the alphabet, and respond in the comments, or just do it on your own blog if you want to.  Or not, if you don't want to.  But if you do, please drop a link in the comments, so I'll know all about it.

A - Age: 51

B - Bed size: King

C - Chore you hate: Reading blogs (just joshin'...nyuk!)  I can't think of any chore that I hate.  If I hate something I don't do it.  Okay...pulling weeds in the garden, or flowerbeds...but I really don't hate it when I see the results.

D - Don’t eat: Beef, pork, poultry, rutabagas.

E - Essential start your day item: Big glass of  water, and a trip to the crapper right out of the box.

F - Favorite board game: Mousetrap, or CandyLand (it's a toss-up).  I like Monopoly, too. 

G - Gold or Silver: Gold

H - Height: 5' (almost) 9"

I - Instruments you play: Radio

J - Job title: Small biniss owner, part time empluree, and general flunky

K - Kid(s): 4 (plus a bunch of other ones that have stayed at Andy's Place...long stories)

L - Love or lust: Yes (That was Cullen's answer...can't improve on that one)

M - Mom’s name: Mary Anne

N - Nicknames: Stud, Butch, Punkin', and Dufus

O - Overnight hospital stay other than birth: Tonsillectomy at roughly 5 years of age...but I've stayed overnight at the horse-pital with The Mrs. several times...while she was crankin' out them kids.

P - Pants or pantyhose: Pants. Pantyhose if I’m robbing a bank. (That was Cullen's answer...nyuk!)

Q - Famous Movie Quote:  I've got two:  “Who are those guys???”  And, "I used to be famous, but I heard about you!  You're The Postman.  Dude, YOU are famous!"  (That's not an exact quote, but it's Tom Petty talking to The Postman...it's close enough)

 

R - Right or left handed: Right

S - Sibling(s): Sis three years older,  Brother two years older, Baby Brother 3 years younger (And Baby Brother's twin, Dean Austin that I never got to see.  That was probably best, from what I understand).

T - Time you wake up: Between 4:30 & 5:30 am, depending on what is on my plate for the day.  (No alarm clock necessary...I always wake up at the time I have decided to the night before).

U - Underwear: Joe Boxer bikinis (Not just every guy can get away with that, but being a stud-punkin I can.  Eat y'all's hearts out.  Just sayin'...)

V - Vegetable favorite: I will get all kinds of grief if I say Taters, 'Maters, or Corn, because none of them are really vegetables (at least I don't think so), so I'll go with Okra (fried, burrled, or mixed in with 'maters and oil).

W - Ways you run late: I don’t (that was Cullen's answer, and it's mine, too)

X - X-rays you’ve had: Just on my toofers, while sitting in the chair of death.  But, I've got pretty good chompers compared to all the rest of my fambly.

Y - Yummy food you make: I make a wicked Cookies & Cream ice cream with a mixed peanut butter and Hershey's syrup topping.  Dang, I'm hungry now.

Z - Zoo favorite: Cullen said:  Depends on the zoo. Here in Memphis it’s the “Teton Trek” exhibit which includes bears and wolves.

I think I'll just have to go with "Congerrss" (As Dubya would say).

Quick quiz...

Hey y'all!  Just a little warm up here for tomorrow's Mensa Teaser...(this ain't a Mensa type question, just a useless trivia one)

What is the longest word in the English language typed with only the left hand?

Bonus question:

What is the longest word in the English language typed with only the right hand?

(You may as well go ahead on and Gooblecheat, 'cause you know you don't know this.  I mean, if you do know this, then you're too sharp to read this blog.  Just sayin'...)

Y'all have a fabulous Humpday.  Do it for the chirrens!

Who do you write like? (Updated)

Hey y'all! Hugs, kisses, yada yada yada...

(Update:  I pasted the Beatitudes from Christ's Sermon on the Mount in to the writing analyzer.  Here is the result.

I write like
Douglas Adams

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

End of Update)


I hope y'all's Humpday is going great!  Since Andy's Place is quickly becoming the go-to place on the worldwide computer for boring content, and time-wasting quizzes (thank you very much for your support), I figured I'd throw another one at y'all!

I was over at Mrs. Who's place, and she had linked to an analysis tool that tells you what famous writer you write like.  So, I was curious.  I figured it would show me something like Dr. Seuss, or something.  But, I was a little surprised.

I took the analysis three times, using three different entire blog posts from the last three months.  Here are the instructions you'll see.

I Write Like...

Check what famous writer you write like with this statistical analysis tool, which analyzes your word choice and writing style and compares them to those of the famous writers.
Any text in English will do: your latest blog post, journal entry, Reddit comment, chapter of your unfinished book, etc. For reliable results paste at least a few paragraphs (not tweets).
Paste your text here:

So, who does Andy write like according to this "statistical analysis tool?"

I write like
Stephen King

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

Nyuk! I don't think I've ever read an entire Stephen King book. But, I did see The Green Mile, and Cujo...which is the only film I have ever got up and walked out on due to being bored stiff.


Anyway, it is kind of interesting, and yet another good old fashioned "waste of time" that you are rapidly coming to expect each time you visit.  Here ya' go...you're welcome!

Report on The GenderAnalyzer®

Yesterday, Jim brought to our attention a little blog analyzer called The GenderAnalyzer®.   That little "®" deal stands for "ROTTEN!"

(click to enlarge)

You may remember that this little exercise in absurdity determined that Andy's Place is written by a chick.  So, we can assume at the outset that there are some definite flaws in their AlGoreythm.

Moogie (who is most definitely all girl) reported that her blog was determined to be written by a man.  Her comment:  "They call me MISTER Moogie! (or at least 74% of 'em do.) My husband will be SOOOO surprised!"

Jim (the trouble maker that got this all started) added:  "As you know, mine was like 94% manly. No surprise there. I cuss and spit a lot on my blog and sometimes pick fights with the big boys.
Anyway, Missy, thanks for putting this up (snicker)."

Yeah, snicker... 

Regardless, several of you commented, and I appreciate them all.  So, I decided to run every one of the 72 blogs on my The Gooble Reader, and for the most part The GenderAnalyzer® got it right...though many of them were close calls.

But, what lets me know for certain that this thing can not be trusted is a companion post done by Paul Mitchell.  You know...the recent birthday boy, and liberal-smashing mean ol' meanie.  As I said yesterday, I'm pretty sure this thing sucks.  Now, I have no doubt.  Go over there and view his results (and be sure to read the analysis provided by this obviously worthless waste of time.

So...does a Dude, or a Chick write your blog???

Editorial note:  This is just blog junk that most folks that do not maintain a blog will find boring...and maybe even those that do will find boring, too.

I'm pretty sure this thing SUCKS!  But, I'm gonna go ahead and link to it, just to see what y'all think.

I happened to note on The Facebook (using my assumed identity, of course...oh, I haven't told y'all about that yet...shucks!  I gotta get around to telling y'all about my The Facebook experiment thingy I've been doing) that FoxNews reported that more homos and lesbos are "social networkers" than straight folks.

Now, I'm not even sure if that isn't a bunch of malarkey, because it's a Harris poll.  But, it is on the worldwide computer, so it must be true...

Well, it seems that some wiseacre who is one of my virtual friends (and a non-virtual friend too, btw) decided to rag on poor Andy for a while by presenting some off-the-wall, obviously retarded website where you can find out whether your blog is written by a dude, or a chick.  It seems that these two yokels have put a whole bunch of junk in a database, and qualified, quantified, etcetraized blogs by whether dudes or chicks write them.

This right here is where Andy's Place ranks... (click on it to see just exactly how WRONG this thing is)

Here is where you can access this obviously wrong Gender Analyzer that I certainly do not trust.  Period.  Just enter the Universal Resource Locator of your blog, and you can also join in the fun of knowing just how WRONG these guys with funny sounding Scandanavian names are!

If you'd like to report results, please feel free.

That is all.

"Andy's Strip Club Place"...the lineup...

I'm wondering why I set my thermostat in the house at 82 degrees.  Why?  Because I am saving money by not having my AC run so much, and 82 is comfortable enough for me and the family. But, it occurred to me a minute ago that I could just set the dang thing on 55...because the condensing unit has not shut off in three weeks anyway.  But, I do get a good feeling about being "thrifty" by running my T-stat at 82.

What was I saying?  Oh yeah...

Okay, I gotta be honest.  In my 50 years of blogging, I don't think I've ever gotten more guffaws, belly-laughs, and pure enjoyment from the sport of blogging than the other day when I axed the simple question, "What would your 'Stripper Stage Name' be?"

Seriously, maybe I'm the only one that guffawed.  But, I did.  I actually had kinda' forgotten about it, due to my short attention span.  But, along comes a visitor to Andy's Place today via The Gooble Search©.

(click it to see in big terms that Andy's Place is #1 with The Gooble Search©. Again.)

This visitor (who was from San Jose, stinkin' California), reminded me of how much fun I had in the old days...all those many hours ago...reading what all good "stripper names" our beloved visitors would sport in an Andy's Strip Club Place.



Before we get to the comment lineup, I must note that I received a few "off comment" stripper stage names.  One, via e-mail, was from a really tough old buddy of mine that did not want to be identified.  Goldie Bush!  Nyuk...

Another e-mail came from a fellow I grew up with here in Bossier.  His stripper name would be "Useless Eugene."  Nyuk...

And, FDIL's stripper name would be "Lucky Valencia."  Nyuk...

So, now on to the comments. (Editorial note:  I have editored some of these for brevity)

Jim said...

I really don't think that 'Laddie Palmetto' is going to turn too many people on . . .

June 21, 2010 1:39 PM

Moogie P said...

This could be fun! "Laddie Palmetto." Heh. Of course, that makes my husband "Mary Rural Route." Elvis and Sweet Girl Lincoln -- perfect! Thanks for the fun! Love and kisses, Maxie LeFever.

June 21, 2010 2:29 PM

Andy said...(Editorial note...this is a different "Andy," not me.)

Smokey Chase. I can live with that. And so can the ladies.

June 21, 2010 4:04 PM

Barry the Barbarian said...

Punchy Delta.

June 21, 2010 5:34 PM

Dadman said...

Buck Naked...

June 21, 2010 6:01 PM

Staci said...

Sparky Dirt Road. I would get no lurve.

June 21, 2010 8:54 PM

MUD said...

Rex Byrd. They could call me "Big" for short. The sad truth is that the cure for nudity after the age of 40 is full length mirrors. Funny stuff.

June 22, 2010 7:39 AM  

 

Buck said...

You already know mine...(Editorial note:  Buck was involved in the original idear for this stellar, hilarious blogerrific idear!  His stripper name is:  "Mustapha Pete Rue Mozart (first pet I can remember, a canary; first street I can remember, in Sceaux [a suburb in Paris)."

June 22, 2010 8:44 AM

Buck said...

But I wanna know where Naked Street is. Or drive, avenue, yadda, yadda. Are there rentals?

June 22, 2010 8:46 AM

Dapper Dan said...

Andy, I'm late to the funfest, but are you ready for this...Wimpy Easy.

June 22, 2010 10:54 AM

So, there's your lineup at the Andy's Strip Club Place. 

I'm telling y'all...if y'all are down for it, I am, too!  I mean, there's this empty building in downtown Shreveport right next to Larry Flynt's joint across from the casinos on The Red River. 

I'm thinking we could all make us a fortune!  CASH!

This just can not be right!!!

Our good buddy, Darrel, found a site that will "rate" your blog, or website, or The Facebook page. It seems that he was curious at to just what rating Andy's Place would receive.

No way!  No. Freakin'. Way.

Well, sure enough I went to that site, and we do receive an "R" rating.  This is not good.  I always considered this to be a "family friendly" place to visit on the worldwide computer.

So, if you're interested, you can meander on over there and find out what your blog is rated.  (You'll have to navigate around the online dating junk, but it's interesting).  Mine got rated "R" for the repeated use of three particular words.  I'll have to do mo' better, I reckon.

I'm not sure if I"ve ever told y'all this before...

...but, I OWN THE GOOBLE!

I'm sure it will come as a great surprise to most visitors to Andy's Place to be confronted with the reality that I really do own it.

I know, I know, I know...y'all long time friends get tired of this junk (and I have well noted your boredom with it all, and your lovingly phrased computer letters telling me just how retarded this deal is, and all). But this is something that MUST be done.  I can't help it!

It's a rule.

Just two days ago, I posted the correct way to pronounce the name of "The Sooner State" (even including a photo of a couple of Boomers).

And, I'll swear...after I blessed y'all with that, Andy's Place got flooded with Okies, Arkies, Texicans, Michiganders, and even some searchers from as far away as Alaska, and other foreign countries (even one guy from Denmark...that's a country...over in the old country).  So, I looked up on The Sitemeter where all of those visitors found out how to find that particular little spot (as if I needed to really look it up).

It was from The Gooble Search©. Andy's Place again ranks #1 on The Gooble Search© in over Fifteen Million search results. Fifteen. Stinkin'. Million.

Can you believe that?  Well, of course you can...

See???

 As you click on the screenshot of The Gooble Search to enlarge it for reading, you will note that Andy's Place beats out "Bikernet," "Datehookup," and even "Yellowuspages."

I don't think I've ever been so proud.



I really think those folks at The Gooble are doing their best to keep me from selling my T-shirt that will really raise public awareness about just how WRONG they are.  Probably.  Maybe. Probably not....

But, I'm gonna be selling it pretty soon, and pretty cheap, too.

Well...the BIG DAY has finally arrived!

Mr. Postman brought it today!!!

Now, I have been reading, and have posted some links, ideas, etc. about how to answer this 2010 Census. There are a wide range of ideas about how to fill the dang thing out.

Before we go any further, I want to point you to a blog post done by my friend, Patrick Conlon. Go read it, and come back (if you want to).

If you read it, note this quote:  In Article I, Section 2, the Constitution says that an “Enumeration” must be conducted every ten years “in such Manner as [Congress] shall by Law direct.” Congress has directed through a federal law that anyone who “refuses or willfully neglects…to answer, to the best of his knowledge, any of the questions” on the Census form can be fined $100 (18 U.S.C. § 221). If you deliberately give a false answer, you can be fined up to $500. 

So, as I open up the Census form sent especially to Andy's Place, and take me a gander, what do I see?

The "Start here" deal says you're only supposed to count all people (Including babies...like folks would think a "baby" ain't a people?) that "sleep here most of the time." 

Now, this is gonna be a problem for some folks.  I know there were many years when we had a bunch of things that slept here most of the time, but I wasn't sure whether they were a "people" or not.  Just sayin'...

It's also asking me in question #1 how many people were "staying" at Andy's Place on April 1, 2010.  Now, that's a hard one to answer, because it ain't April 1, 2010 yet!  Heck, no telling how many people will be "staying" here in a couple of weeks... (The population at Andy's Place is fluid.")

Question #2 asks if there were any additional people "staying" here that I didn't include in question #1.  Gee, I dunno!!!  I mean, if they were "staying" here, and I didn't know between answering question #1 & #2...well, what does that say about ME?

Question #3 axes if Andy's Place is a house, apartment, or trailer house that is owned by "the bank," "somebody else," or "Andy."  And, it even wants to know if somebody's living here without "payment of rent."  Well, heck yeah!  There's always been a bunch of folks living here without paying a single dime of rent.  So, should I check several of those boxes?  I'm confused...

Question #4 asks for my telephone number.  Screw 'em!  I think this is one of them telemarketing dealies.  Screw 'em...

When I get to question #5, it gets personal.  They want a NAME!  Now, why do you need to know somebody's name in order to know they are a "person?"  I was thinking about penciling in "Sadie Lou Sunshine."  (That's my retarded registered yellow lab's AKC registration name)  But, I might get a big fine and all if I do.  (Maybe up to Five Grand)

#6 is gonna be a BIG problem for a couple of folks I know.  They ask if you are "Male," or "Female."  Y'all can fill in the blank on that one...

#7 wants to know about a date of birth for Person #1.  I'm not sure of Sadie's Date of Birth, so I'm gonna have to fish up the papers on her.  Crud...  (On a side note...I'm worried about Sadie...she's limping around real bad today like she hurt her left rear leg.  I don't know what's wrong, but she seems like she's okay for a while, and then she gets back to limping.  I don't know if she's REALLY hurt, or playing possum.)

Now, #8 is where it gets complicated.  It gives you instructions to answer BOTH #8 & #9 (before you answer #8).  And, it tells you that "..Hispanic origins are not races."  I'll swear, they're losing me quick on this one!  It's like...am I a Mexican, a Chicano, a Puerto Rican, a Cuban, or something else like maybe a Spaniard?  I need an Excedrin...

Then #9 asks what Sadie's race is.  So, I can pick from a bunch of junk (including "Negro"), and even "Chamorro," or "Jap."  She's yellow, so I might go with Chink...not sure just yet.

Finally, question #10 axes does Sadie  "live or stay somewhere else?"

I wish!!!

So, I don't know.  I'm not sure what to do with this.  I'm thinking of just being a good little boy and filling the whole deal out correctly (no phone number though...they say they need that "if they don't understand an answer.")

But, I really think I will kick myself on down the road for not using a "once in ten year chance" to screw around with folks.  I mean, you only get a chance like this once a decade.

It's a true condurum!